Touch is a fundamental part of human interaction. What happens when that simple pleasure causes immeasurable fear?Ireland Hayes has fought an uphill battle with his phobia most of his life, believing “normal” is unachievable. Every time things look up, unexpected triggers set him right back to square one where he needs to start over. When he falls, he falls hard.Work is impossible.Love is … impossible.
Love is impossible.
Life is impossible.
Raven Kingsley takes life as it comes. Not many things bother this free-spirited man. He is passionate, vibrant, and easy-going. He’s the friend who’s always there, and the sympathetic shoulder for anyone in need.
He works hard.
Loves with his entire heart and soul.
And believes life is always possible.
Ireland doesn’t have much faith in relationships. The past has proven many times that he isn’t worthy of love. Everyone gives up. Will Raven prove different? When the walls come crashing down, will love prevail? Or are life, love, and happiness truly meant for someone else?
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I adore this series as each book focuses on a phobia that I knew nothing about. This book in particular yanked on my heartstrings as my heart ached for Ireland and his struggles. Raven was a delightful counterpoint with his sunny personality and watching this relationship unfold was a treat. I loved how the focus on intimacy and sex wasn’t limited to the traditional sense – more people need to hear that in this world. Truly hoping there are more books in this series.
This story was so amazing! I loved Ireland so much! The poor guy was suffering so much with his phobia, but he was so determined to work through it. It was beautiful to watch that when he had the right support network and a stable, unconditional loving man, he was able to thrive and achieve what he so desperately wanted. Five Tender Loving Stars!
When touch brings pain (an audio review)
Phobia: an extreme or irrational fear or an aversion to something
Haphephobia: the fear of touching or of being touched
If you know me, you know I love Nicky James. Especially her books where main characters have a mental illness. I write extensive reviews where I talk about how the book has impacted me. I’m going to *try* to keep this one shorter.
Wish me luck.
First, I completely related to both Ireland and Raven. Ireland might be the one with the phobia, but Raven has just as much to lose. Just as much to gain. Ireland has his reasons for being touch-averse. Only that phobia runs so much deeper. He goes into panic mode when anyone invades his personal space. Even his job as a nurse is barely tolerable because, frankly, nursing requires touching people. Whether taking a blood pressure reading or administering a needle or simply offering a reassuring squeeze, nurses rely on their interactions with patients to calm them.
Ireland has already been on leave several times because of his inability to cope. The first trigger came out of the blue and devastated him. He’s never really recovered. He’s also never really dealt with the underlying trauma. He’s in therapy, and I understood why he didn’t confront the reason for his beliefs – irrational as they are – but my heart ached.
The book begins with him breaking up with his girlfriend of two years. Julia is also a nurse and she knew what she was getting into when she moved in with Ireland. I think she thought she could fix him. Breakups are never pretty, especially when the life you’ve crafted is so meticulous. Faced with taking apart what they had put together, Ireland is flummoxed. Then the movers show up and he and Julia are still bickering. Now, Raven has seen just about everything as a mover, so he’s not really fazed. But he’s struck by Ireland’s beauty. And he senses depth to the man. But after it comes out that Raven’s gay, Irelands standoffishness gets interpreted as homophobia and it didn’t look good.
Things aren’t always what they seem, and the next time they meet, Raven learns more about Ireland. The third time they meet, it’s on Ireland’s terms and Raven manages to convince the man to go out on a real date.
Thus begins the push and pull, parry and retreat, forward and backward, of this relationship. I wanted so badly for things to progress. Raven’s patience never wavered. Not once. That kind of love is precious. And Ireland’s a smart man. He was able to recognize it. But ingrained beliefs are tough to battle. Ireland is always convinced Raven will leave. And to compound things, Ireland has a physical ailment that requires self-care and if there’s one thing he’s not good at, it’s taking care of himself. But doing better for Raven becomes a thing. Seeing his therapist becomes a thing. Being brutally honest with both himself and Raven becomes a thing.
Then came the setback. I knew it was coming. Didn’t know what form it would take, but there was an inevitability to it. Didn’t stop my heart from breaking all over again. So the question was – could they build back better? Stronger? Or would there always be the physical distance as well as the threat of emotional one as well?
Did I say I was going to write a short review? I lied. Big surprise.
Nicky James novels hit me where it hurts. As someone who struggles with a mental illness, I often see parts of myself in these characters. And although this book was written pre-pandemic, I think the lessons are even more profound. Will I ever be comfortable touching someone again? Having them touch me? Will I ever fall into a friend or relative’s arms and just enjoy the embrace without worrying? I think there are going to be a lot of people relating to Ireland’s dilemma. And that’s sad. That’s something that’s been taken away that we may never get back.
Two more quick things – several characters in this book appeared in previous ones and I always like those little cameos. Holds my interest. And finally I’ll mention Adam Gold. He’s fantastic as a narrator and these books suit him. A chance for him to both demonstrate his talent and to give us Ms. James’ words in an even more moving performance. There are more books and I look forward to them.
You know when you finish a book and you’re like “well, what am I supposed to do now?” This IS that book. I absolutely loved Ireland and Raven’s story. It truly is a love story that is going to grab you by the feels. Nicky James always draws me into her characters and they grab at my every emotion. Ireland just about gutted me with his haphephobia, fear of touch. His struggle with being able to touch others in his life in day to day interactions, his job as a nurse, and trying to build a relationship with Raven were constant struggles for him. It was amazing to see how Raven just understood Ireland in a way that others never have. I loved how his patience, determination and love for Ireland never wavered. If there was ever a person made for another, it was Raven for Ireland.
These two left such an impression on me, that when the audio was released it moved to the top of my listening list. I savored it over almost a week as I revisited two characters that still moved me as much as the first time. Adam Gold’s narrations are always a next level experiences for me, but if possible he kicked it up a notch Ireland and Raven’s story. Adam has a way of drawing you into a story that you feel so emotionally present. This was a wonderful narration to accompany an equally wonderful and beautiful love story.
Audio review
Ireland broke my heart right from the beginning. His phobia rules his life. This makes his job and any relationship extremely difficult.
I enjoyed watching his friendship with Raven grow. Ireland trying so hard with his limits and boundaries.
I really like the narrators voice. It’s soothing and very easy to listen to. Adam Gold is a new to me narrator and I will definitely be looking for more of his work.
This story gives a great insight into a little known phobia I didn’t realise even existed. It’s a touching story (no pun intended) of patience and hope, fear and family that I’d highly recommend.
A spectacular read with a brilliant portrayal of love being built from friendship and patience.
This books was a little harder for me to read. Ireland fears touch…and though I don’t fear touch I don’t like being touched and generally avoid it if I can, so it made Ireland relatable to me. This fear makes Ireland struggle daily with his job (he’s a nurse!), his love life, and social interactions. Then Raven comes along and they develop a friendship. Raven is one of the most understanding and patient characters I’ve ever read, to develop a friendship and then a relationship with someone who struggles with touch. I loved these two and I was glad after getting a tiny glimpse of Ireland in a previous book that he got his own
I just can’t get enough Nicky James and this was no different. The trials that lay before Raven and Ireland seemed insurmountable and they were for sure the most difficult of all the books in this series but nevertheless, it was my favorite of them all. The emotion and love between these two characters was felt to my soul. Standing ovation Nicky.
What can I say about Nicky James’s writing that I haven’t said before?
Nicky’s books grabs me from the very first page and I just know that I will be riding the emotion rollercoaster thoughout the entire story.
Touch of Love is the 3rd book in her Trials of Fear (phobia) series.
Ireland Hayes suffers from HAPHEPHOBIA – a fear of touching or of being touched. I could not imagine going through life afraid to touch or hug my husband, my kids, my mother, my sisters or even my very good friends. But this is Ireland’s life. When I heard that Mrs James was writing this book, I could not imagine how her characters would navigate a relationship, but trust Nicky to write a beautiful love story.
As always, Nicky finds the perfect partner for her guys, and Raven Kingsley is just who Ireland needed. I totally fell in love with both men.
Thank you Mrs James for writing another amazing story. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next!
My favorite in this series by far, loved raven and Irelend so much!!!
Remarkable.
I’m truly in awe at the words and insight and love I just read.
I love a MC with a disorder or some kind of tragic barrier to life to conquer and this had it in spades.
Ireland Hayes has a phobia of touch. He can’t touch or be touched, especially by men. When his girlfriend of two years can’t handle it anymore, he’s forced to move out.
Raven is knocked over by how attractive Ireland is when he shows up to move his things to his new apartment. He can’t understand why this guy is so blatantly disgusted by him when he’s been nothing but helpful.
There are so many issues standing in the way and I don’t know that anyone could ever be as patient, kind and loving as Raven but he was perfect. I loved that he still seemed human and got upset. He wasn’t perfect but he was perfect for Ireland.
”When I had nothing left to give, I fell back on my heels and fought to catch my breath. Our eyes locked, and for a moment, I thought maybe, just maybe, Raven could be the one person who wouldn’t give up on me.”
The story was truly humbling and the narrative was eye opening. I loved every word. Hope is alive and well.
This was another beautifully written book in the Trails of Fear series by NJ. She has the ability to write beautiful stories that makes you relate to characters as well as it being very well researched. I experienced a variety of emotions while reading Raven and Ireland’s story. touching, be it a handshake or hug is something that everyone has experience at some point in their lives but to live with a phobia like this… this was hard to read for many reasons but yet so beautiful. I loved loved loved this so much. Another well deserved 5* from me.
This was so good! I think the idea behind this whole series is so unique. I can’t wait to see what other phobias the author chooses to write about. 🙂