Mothers are supposed to love their children unconditionally, but what if they can’t? “Your own mother doesn’t love you—what makes you think anyone else will?” These words haunted the author and affected every decision she made. If she wasn’t good enough for her mother’s love, what was she worthy of? In The Monster That Ate My Mommy, Jessica Aiken-Hall takes the reader on her quest to find love … quest to find love and uncover the root of her suffering. In this courageous memoir, we learn the importance of love and belonging, and the price paid when it’s out of reach.
“This is one of the most moving and brave memoirs I have ever read—on par with The Liar’s Club (Mary Karr) and The Glass Castle (Jeannette Walls). I was sucked in from the first sentence and remained riveted throughout. Aiken-Hall’s raw exploration and recounting of highly traumatic life events is tempered with the gentleness of hope and the strength of perseverance. This is a book of extreme importance in the canon of women’s memoir. Read it for the compelling story of survival: savor it for its lessons of grace and resilience.”
—Sarah Felix Burns author of Jackfish, The Vanishing Village
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The Monster That Ate My Mommy is a superbly written memoir by Jessica Aiken-Hall describing years of horrific abuse at the hands of those that were supposed to love her. In her memoir Jessica speaks very openly and honestly about the abuse she suffered at the hands of many throughout her life. Her abuse started at an early age by a mother who was incapable of loving Jessica. The abuse she suffered at home left her feeling unwanted and as though there was something wrong with her that she was unworthy of being loved. If her own mother could not love her, then nobody else could either.
The Monster that Ate My mommy resonated deeply with me as I, too, am a survivor of domestic abuse. I understand all too well the feelings of being unloved, unwanted, and undeserving of love. I also appreciate how difficult it is to tell one’s story for fear of rejection or worse, not being believed. I know that it must have taken a great deal of courage and strength for Jessica to share such a heart-wrenching story. As common as domestic abuse is, many women are not brave enough to share their story, while others tragically do not survive. I know that many people may not understand why someone would stay and continue to be abused by their spouse or partner and they feel that it is as simple as just walking away. Unfortunately, it is not as simple as just choosing to leave.
Domestic abuse is complex in that it is not as easy as just walking away from your abuser. You choose to stay for a multitude of reasons. You love them. You believe their promises. You hope that they change. You feel unworthy of love. You feel scared, isolated, and alone. You feel vulnerable. Years of mental abuse leaves you feeling as though the abuse is your fault and that you deserve it. I could go on and on with the numerous reasons one might stay with their abuser. Sadly, the reasons for staying are complex and not easily understood unless you have experienced something similar.
Jessica is a true survivor in every sense of the word. Even at her darkest moment she kept going and persevered. Thank you, Jessica Aiken-Hall, for your courage, your strength and for sharing your story. You are a true inspiration! I highly recommend this book! Please be advised that some scenes may be hard to read and may bring you to tears, so I recommend you have Kleenex on hand.
Truly a tear-jerker, thank you for sharing you story. I don’t think I’ve ugly cried for so long. Growing up with a mentally ill parent hits so close to home. Some of the memories are so hard to read but they are therapeutic. By sharing her story she may help others. I was on the edge of my seat reading this. It is a very good book.
This memoir absolutely broke my heart! Some of this was triggering so be warned. I was in tears throughout the whole book. The trials and pain this author went through is just unbelievable to me. I honestly couldn’t put this book down even though my heart was begging me to because it was very difficult to read. No one should have to go through what this author went through. This is a book I think everyone should read at least one time in their life. It was sad, and heartbreaking, and pitiful and absolutely beautiful to see how successful she became. She has got an amazing story and I’m so glad she decided to share it with us all. Thank you so much Jessica Aiken-Hall!
This memoir is definitely not for the faint of heart, it is a story of overcoming a childhood full of haunting memories and harrowing experiences, all viewed through a lens of why not being loved is so damaging and how one child worked through it all to become the woman she is today. The book starts with a quote which also became the title, “I’m not your mommy, I’m the monster who ate your mommy.” As a three year old, most children are inquisitive and start asking questions, but this author’s mother didn’t want to answer them, so she distracted her daughter in other ways she could think of, to the point where the author started to believe that the chaos she existed in was the normality and that everyone else was odd in the way they lived. From the start, her life was one lacking in parental love, but in her grandmother, she found the love she wanted, however, this would not keep the experiences of her childhood and the secrets she had to keep because of it away.
As the author grew up, she lived with her mother and brother, but from a young age, tragedy was never far away and each one detached her further from the love she so desperately wanted and as family moved in and out of her life, trauma of all kinds just kept building up and the feelings of depression and despair kept appearing, especially when told that her mother didn’t love her and that nobody else would either. As a child, she blamed it all on bad luck which she had somehow brought upon herself, however, as she got older, the trauma changed and morphed into something horrific which was used against her in such a manipulative way that no matter how hard she chased, her mother just became more distant, so she searched for love in other places which weren’t healthy or at times, appropriate. The only constants in her life were her grandmother and her friends with whom she found an escape from the life she led and those around her, who supported her, even when she fell back into unhealthy ways of thinking and helped her to face things as an adult that had happened to her as a child.
This is a story of overcoming hardship and trauma to become someone more and learn how to live and how to love and be loved which draws you in and makes you see life in a different light, as well as gain an insight into the lives of those around you and help you learn how to be able to offer your support to people in a similar situation. in an appropriate way.
The Monster That Ate My Mommy by Jessica Aiken-Hall is a fantastic and heart breaking memoir by and author who is fast becoming one of my favourites.
I will be honest, when I started this book I didn’t bother to read the description. I see the authors name and thought I knew what type of book I was going to get. However once I got reading I realised that I actually had something so much better. I could feel the emotion and the passion in each and every page. I felt like I took every step on this journey with the author.
I love the books this author usually writes but there was just something so real and gritty about this book that I connected with it so much more. I would highly recommend this book to everyone!
This absolutely amazingly brave telling of Jessica Aiken-Hall’s life is such a great read! My heart broke so many times for her. I wanted to hold her and make everything okay. She truly is a brave soul. I normally do not read non-fiction but this was so well written it was easy to forget you were reading someone’s life. Thank you so much to Jessica Aiken-Hall for sharing her story and helping others to heal!
Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. I cannot even get my brain wrapped around this book. I’ve read several of this author’s books previously but somehow missed this one before now. Speechless. Utterly and completely. This thrill ride kept me absolutely glued to this book. I’m still trying to process it. Just an amazing amazing amazing work. This author continues to impress me with her storytelling and detail. I am always emotionally invested and this book definitely left me shattered. Wow.
I had a huge interest in this book due to my own trauma in my childhood and while this book is heavy it was such a cathartic read. My inner-child struggled along with her retelling of her trauma but she also felt such a kinship with the author’s growth. The need for validation and love and accepting them in unhealthy ways is something I related with. Her resilience and strength though are so powerful that it left a lasting impression. I cried along as I read through some of her darkest moments but I also felt the power and strength of her resolving her trauma. This was such a good book and I can’t recommend it enough!
The Monster That Ate My Mommy by Jessica Aiken-Hall. This book is WOW! Its the emotional memoir of the author who has endured different types of trauma all thru her life. Her mother had sever mental issues and tried to cure them with drinking and drugs therefore she couldn’t keep her daughter in a stable home so her maternal grandmother picked up the slack. She loved her Gram dearly. Her mom and dad were back and forth together and not together. When her dad threatened to kill them all after her mom cheated on him they split again. One of her mom’s boyfriends molested her and her dad was killed in a construction accident. Gram was always the one to fall back on after teenage problems and once she became an adult. As an adult she got involved with a very abusive man and lived in that for years. This book will rip your heart out and make you wonder how some people survive things like this. Read this book with the knowledge it could have some triggers for people who have survived similar situations! Very good emotional read!
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when I began reading The Monster That Ate My Mommy, only that it was a memoir and most likely filled with possibly troubling events. Told from the point-of-view of the author in vivid first-person, this book delivered on more than I was expecting. People say healing comes when you share your stories of pain, memories no one wants to think about, and I believe the author was trying to do just that by sharing her story with us. As someone who struggles with their own inner darkness, I know there must be some freedom that comes with not only sharing a troubled life but embracing the past – acknowledging it happened – and moving on to live the life you know you deserve. We hear about things that happen to people as they grow up, things that mold them into the person they are or will become, but we never get that insight that comes from a truly candid telling. This book will tear at your heart at times, make you silently hope certain things won’t come to pass, but inevitably do. But at the same time, there’s a certain understanding and insight that comes with this comprehensive tale.
“The Monster That Ate My Mommy” has placed Jessica Aiken-Hall with authors like Jeannette Walls, “The Glass Castle,” and Mary Karr of the “Liars Club.” Bravely sharing what needs to told, but what few dare to believe; mothers who do not mother. While difficult to read, it is important to witness the strength Aiken-Hall possesses to not only endure but overcome a motherless existence. For those who have experienced a similar childhood, this book will help them feel less isolated and find the courage to share their stories. For those fortunate enough to not have this experience, it will help them understand the phenomena of mothers who cannot mother.
This was such a heartbreaking book to read. The journey the author has been on and her traumas and heartbreak in her life life was so hard to read but at the same time it makes me appreciate the life i have and the love you felt through my childhood and the love i now give my son.
The though of Jessica going through all that when she was young really touched me. All I wanted to do was take the poor little girl away and protect her from what was happening.
It’s a good insight also into how mental illness doesn’t just affect the person with the illness but also everyone around them. This books is a really raw read about struggles, abuse, fighting for love and overcoming your past.