Twenty-eight-year-old Oryn Patterson isn’t like other people. Being an extremely shy, social introvert is only part of the problem. Oryn has dissociative identity disorder. He may look like a normal man on the outside, but spend five minutes with him, and his daily struggles begin to show. Oryn shares his life and headspace with five distinctively different alters. Reed, a protective, very … very straight jock. Cohen, a flamboyantly gay nineteen-year-old who is a social butterfly. Cove, a self-destructive terror, whose past haunts him. Theo, an asexual man of little emotion, whose focus is on maintaining order. And Rain, a five-year-old child whose only concern is Batman.
Vaughn Sinclair is stuck in a rut. When his job doesn’t offer the same thrill it once did, he decides it’s time to mix-up his stagnant, boring routine. Little does he know, the man he meets during an impromptu decision to return to college is anything but ordinary.
Vaughn’s heart defies logic, and he finds himself falling in love with this strange new man. But how can you love someone who isn’t always themself? It may not be easy, but Vaughn is determined to try.
more
This book blew my world apart!! Nicky James has found her place at the top of my favorites with the perfectly flawed stories she writes. This story, about a man with DID and his path toward finding love, was beautiful and tragic and perfect. I cried my eyes out at parts. The pain these people deal with regarding this disorder is heartbreaking, but it’s wonderful to watch when people outside of their “system” take the time to understand them and ultimately love them. I highly recommend this book to people who enjoy reading about flawed heroes and their fight for much deserved love! Five life ALTERing stars!
Wow, this book was everything. I felt so much reading this and stayed up way to late to finish, but it was sooo worth it. This is only my second book with DID and it had just as much of a profound effect on me as the first. The writing was so so good and I truly felt I got to know all the alters and how each was different and how each made the system work so well. The only thing that was hard for me to get passed was the relationship that Cohen and Vaughn shared…I am not sure why it bothered me so, but I am hopeful that once the system was more smooth that their relationship would step back from being intimate like with the other alters. I did think it made perfect sense for what Oryn went through, but I just did not like reading those scenes at all. Once Oryn felt comfortable moving forward intimately, it felt a lot better. I would say my favorite alter ended up being Cove. I felt so so much for him and was so happy when he finally was able to express himself for who he really is. Rain & Theo are so loveable and just wonderful. Reed, the protector, was perfect in his role and then Cohen was just so wonderful. He was always himself and knew exactly how he wanted to be seen and I loved that about him. I loved how caring and supportive Vaughn was and how he just felt so heavily for Oryn and then accepted and loved him whole. Adam Gold narrated this beautiful book and he did an amazing job. Like wow, he blew me away!! I cried through most of this book, but I was sooo sooo happy with it.
Wow. This is an experience. It was so beautiful. I read it in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down. The patience, understanding and love Vaughn has for Oryn is so amazing.
One of the best books I read this year. If you love emotional, “real” reads this is it. This is a gay romance that deals with real emotional issues.
I had never read a book about someone with multiple personalities before. This was a real eye opener. It pulled me in and I just couldn’t stop reading. As always, Nicky did loads of research before writing this and it shows through her beautiful writing.
This story was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I don’t think I could do what Vaughn did… but that really goes to show that his relationship was definitely built on something more, just a different level.
Oryn has dissociative identity disorder and has 5 different personalities (6 total if you include himself too) that formed to protect him from trauma he suffered as a child. I think he mentioned it started at maybe 4 or 5 years old? Can you even imagine? We never got the details of what he suffered through but it was suggested that it was sexual and I can’t even fathom that. So heartbreaking.
Oryn has to work through his feelings and work with his other personalities to kind of balance himself out… except the personality that remembers the trauma, Cove, is very self-harming so Oryn is afraid and tries to keep him “locked away,” except that is hindering any kind of balance between all personalities.
Vaughn starts off wanting to be friends with Oryn because he sees a lonely person who doesn’t really have anyone, but he ends up with feelings for him despite everything. It’s a lot to handle but Vaughn never gives up and doesn’t get frustrated that Oryn can’t be intimate with him. It just shows that Vaughn really ends up loving Oryn for the man he is, loving his personalities as well.
Like I said, I don’t think I could ever cope with being in a relationship with someone with multiple personalities. I felt like I’d be jealous, like when Reed came through and started checking out other women. No way could I handle my feelings in that situation, even if I know that all of the “alters” agreed that Oryn is the only one who can have a relationship on the outside. I think it kind of affected how I read and felt about the book, but it was still good. I felt happy that Oryn could have a happily ever after when I’m sure he never expected to be able to have that.
I love this author’s writing style and she just makes you feel those emotions. Damn…
An intriguing and interesting read.
This book revolves around a subject that is quite unknown I’m sure.
I’m not sure if any information surrounding the subject of DID is accurate in this book but it sounded plausible. I thoroughly enjoyed this view inside this difficult life this person must have had to survive through and now live with his protectors on a daily basis let alone find a supportive loving partner.
It’s truly amazing!
I’m so grateful to have read this book.
Childhood abuse is unforgivable, so to see someone find love after such turmoil is a blessing.
Absolutely beautiful!
An extraordinary experience of unconventional, unconditional love! I don’t think I could love a character as much I fell for Vaughn. This story was exceptionally written, the facts surrounding DID were well researched and respected. I just loved this story so so so much. With this being only my second book from this author, I’m in complete awe. I’ll have to read another one of her books, because I haven’t had enough. If you like your M/M romance with edge and grit. You’ll definitely love this one. Raw and Riveting!
An absolutely incredible book!
My first book from Nicky James and I‘m so eager to see what more she has to offer.
Disclaimer: this is one of my favorite books, ever.
I love just about everything in this book. The careful research of the author. How DID is introduced, explained and woven into the story. The authenticity and uniqueness of not just two main characters, but also five alters. Even the slow burn relationship.
Do not go into this book with any expectations of how DID should be handled, how the alters should be portrayed, how Oryn should act or Vaughn should react, etc. Let the story take you on its journey!
If you are curious at all or intrigued by the blurb, snatch this book up! (Or if you’re a fan of Nicky’s books, of course.)
Amazing story!
I was one of the fortunate ones to receive an advance copy of Love Me Whole by Nicky James.
I love everything Mrs James writes, but Love Me Whole left me speechless.
Mrs James latest book is so outside the box.
She took a risk and wrote about a misunderstood disorder – Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Her research and dedication to helping the reader understand this disorder is commendable.
The main characters are both lovable.
Oryn needs all the love that readers can give.
Vaughn is a very special man who sees through the mess that is Oryn.
Love Me Whole is by far one of the BEST books I have read and I cannot recommend it enough.
I absolutely LOVE this book and look forward to more works by my favourite author.
I can’t even. This was so so good, so inspired, so real. I loved everything. It was definitely difficult to read. There were so many things that broke my heart, so much that was unfair, but it was so beautifully written and you just couldn’t help but fall in love with Oryn and Cove, Theo, Rain, Cohen and Reed. And Vaughn. OMG. It takes quite an honest, caring, loving person to be there for someone with DID.
I don’t even possess the words to describe the awe I feel after finishing this.
I wish Oryn would have been the one to give himself over to Vaughn first, but I thought the way he pushed for Cohen to be there, there was definitely a decision made, so it didn’t feel like cheating. Although, I did wonder if, in the future, now that Vaughn and Oryn have that physical relationship as well, if it will continue with Cohen and if it will feel more scandalous.
Other than that, I just have love for this book. So very well done.
One of the best books I have ever read, hands down!
Love me whole totally blew me away. Nicky James is one of my favourite authors because she tackles some sensitive subject and delves deep into it to give us such beautiful stories.
This book however, deals with DID ( dissociative identity disorder) and it was a first for me to read about this disorder. I was engrossed from the first chapter to the last, and read it one go. Meeting Vaughn and Oryn, and then the alters is was quite the experience. The characters had depth and you felt like you can relate to some in a way. I must admit that it opened my eyes about people living with DID, that like Oryn in the book, have struggled to find their place in the world. This book, by far was absolutely amazing and well written.
I can’t tell you the most interesting thing about this book, I just realized, cuz spoiler. lol
Vaughn was very patient. It’s hard not to get whiplash when you face 6 personalities in one body, and when the switch happens frequently and sometimes without a warning that it’s about to happen. It’s chaotic.
Sometimes this wasn’t the most exciting book, they did mundane things, but just when I wanted to take a break, because I didn’t much care about them exploring a museum, an alter would come forward and make it interesting. Which coming out of my mouth, sounds horrible. I think people with DID would much prefer a quiet day without any excitement.
So this isn’t the kind of book that would make you grip the edge of your seat, bouncing up and down. But it’s fascinating. Not Oryn in particular but how Vaughn tried to navigate their very fragile relationship in a sea of uncertainty. It was really emotional.
I also wouldn’t call this a particularly dark book. I was so scared ot even start, but there isn’t even a mention of anything dark, more like a conjecture, speculation of what might have happened to Oryn in the past that resulted in 5 alters to come forward. And at times I teared up, because he himself didn’t even remember the reason. He just knew that something bad had happened…. okay, there is something that might trigger some people…. (look away, if you don’t want to know)….. self-harm.
I seriously feared the ending. Just this one time I did not want a perfect HEA. I can’t tell you why, cuz that would be a spoiler too. lol
The length of the book allowed the relationship to develop in a slow but steady pace, and also for us to understand someone who lives with this disorder. The balance was perfect, the romance did not get overshadowed by the struggles of living with a disorder, unlike in the Trials of Fear series, in my opinion.
It’s a beautiful love story and I liked it lots and lots. 🙂
I picked this up because of its unique premise and I was not disappointed! I am always so happy when mental health is incorporated into a story, Oryn was such a complex character and it seemed like Nicky really did research on dissociative identity disorder. One thing I could have wanted was an Oryn POV, but I still loved this!
5+ stars
Heat Level: 3 (with SO much intimacy, care, and love to melt your heart!)
Beyond incredible! So complex and with so much heart!!
This book gave me a book hangover of epic proportions! I’m still hungover! Amazing, complex, with so much heart, care and emotions and so much knowledge and care was taken around Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)…absolutely phenomenal!!
As with all Nicky’s creations you can tell she puts all the love and care into her words. Her writing ebbs and flows with such ease and love you can’t help but fall for her characters and these two are no exception! Oryn and Vaughn are truly wonderful characters and the details around Oryn’s DID and his alters is exceptional. I loved the care that went into each alter and their unique personalities. I loved Vaughn’s care, desire to learn and friendship he has for Oryn and all his alters. I love how Vaughn subconsciously wanted to and tried to help Oryn and every turn and eventually with his Doctors helps Oryn find a better balance with his alters and eventually begins to heal and achieve a better state of co-consciousness. I loved all the alters in their own ways and each was complex and detailed it was easy to differentiate them and their identities in Oryn system. I loved Cohen and his shameless flirting, Reed and his protectiveness and somewhat alpha maleness, Cove and his depressive, self-destructive, misunderstood nature. Nicky did Cove so well, he becomes so relatable and his role in the system is crucial, while scary at times. I loved reading/listening to Cove’s recovery and desire to help from the unspeakable things that had happened to him. Theo and Rain are adorable and I loved the insight into the ‘inner world’ where Rain is Theo’s adoptive son, they would work so well together and Rain is just adorable!!
All in all, this is a complex story that will touch your heart in so many ways and draw you into a world that is the reality for some DID sufferers and their partners, family, and friends. An incredible creation by Nicky, I couldn’t love it more!!!!!
Thanks for reading! For great stories, reviews and more please visit https://bookstattoosandtea.wordpress.com
Beautiful story – top all time favorite