A unique guide to bringing faith, devotion, and reverence to your marriage–by a wife and mother who almost took her holy vows. At one time, Shani Chen wanted nothing more than to renounce wordly life by becoming a nun. But after years of following a devoutly religious path, it was the nuns themselves who told Shani that she would find her calling elsewhere. Years later, she built a fulfilling … built a fulfilling life for herself as a loving wife and mother.
One day, to her surprise, she realized that the lessons that she had learned from the nuns were actually helping her in married life–and that when other couples she knew were struggling, she seemed to know how to help.
If Nuns Were Wives is a handbook for wives on how to thrive in marriage using the perspective of a nun. With an unconventional, engaging style, Chen takes her reader on a spiritual journey–founded on the realities of love and marriage and transcending dogma and religion–building the role of the American wife into a new temple for relationships.
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This is about a woman who had wanted to be a nun but they told her her life was going somewhere different. After getting married she soon finds her place by helping others to have a wonderful marriage. See how she helps other
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway, however, I already had it in my Amazon shopping cart and had every intention of purchasing it if I didn’t win. The concept intrigued me. What could a nun really know about marriage? The answer: a lot. In “If Nuns Were Wives” the author relates her experiences from a Buddhist nunnery to her daily married life. It is a delightful little book broken up into short few page chapters filled with insight that can be used in ones’ marriage or any kind of relationship/friendship. It’s great to take on the go and read while waiting at appointments or putting on the coffee table to pick up when you get a few spare minutes. The life lessons are pretty basic focusing on understanding, compassion, thoughtfulness, and generosity, however, many often lose sight of these qualities in their hectic day-to-day life and this book serves as a great reminder.
Great ideas for having a great marriage and being the best wife you can be!
A perspective on marriage I’ve never thought of but if we could do all the great ideas Shani Chen talks about marriages and lives would be changed for the better. If Nuns Were Wives is an easy and enjoyable read. Everyone will gain so much from her ideas and experience. I loved it and encourage anyone who is married to read it. It’s a book I know I will go back and look at all my notes and highlights many times. I will also give it as a gift to many people.
How do you write a handbook from the perspective of a nun that isn’t the least bit religious?!? Beats me, but Shani Chen did it. In that regard – and I’m going a bit more spiritual than I usually do when reviewing – this book called to mind Esther’s story in the Old Testament. In my opinion, Esther portrays a beautiful picture of God’s gift to humankind with such clarity, yet God is never mentioned. Similarly, If Nuns Were Wives portrays the myriad advantages of becoming a “practitioner” of good without even a whiff of self-righteousness.
I think one thing that makes this book work so well (and might suggest why Ms. Chen is a wife now, rather than a nun) is that she is obviously a ring-tailed spitfire, and she writes candidly about her lessons-learned with self-effacing humor. She isn’t above going toe-to-toe with her 6-foot plus husband, James. More than once. She has stormed out of the house and stayed gone for hours. More than once. She has fallen into the blues. More than once.
Ms. Chen’s wisdom is hard-earned, forged in the crucible of youthful marriage, child-rearing, a career (teaching, no less). If Nuns Were Wives isn’t a collection of speculations about how much nicer it would be if we all just got along, especially stressed husbands and exhausted wives. This truly is a handbook, an instruction guide. Guess what: This works and this doesn’t. It’s that simple. Deal with it. Make peace with it. Reap the benefits of practicing what works instead of what doesn’t. How do you argue with that kind of logic?
I highlighted several passages in the Kindle edition I read, but here are a few excerpts that bear repeating.
“…people are capable of exercising control, even under upsetting circumstances.”
“When you’re playing a video game and you drive off the road, you were not designed to stay off the road. You were designed to find a way to get back on the path in any way possible and to finish the course…Get used to dusting yourself off and finding the path to happiness again.”
“I learned that trust is a very fragile thing and once broken, the effects are nearly irreparable.”