Tragedy brought us together, but something stronger made me want to stay.”
Julian was the boy next door. My brother’s best friend, he fit with my family in ways I never could. While he and Rhett went on to play house, I left the only life I knew, desperate for a fresh start.
Until everything changed.
Heartache came along, and the aftermath of my brother’s death was here to stay. I was now face … to stay. I was now face to face with Julian more than I ever wanted to be.
Being around him brought up all my insecurities, forced me to deal with hard truths, and conjured up feelings I had no business entertaining. He wasn’t the man I thought I knew. He was complex and layered, and inherently beautiful in all the ways I’d never noticed.
Not on another person.
Not on another man.
Not until him.
more
One of the most emotional reads that I have come across this year. I am new to Ms. Valentine but I am now a fan. Grieving the loss of his brother and the dysfunction of his family, Deacon finds solace in spending time with the only other person who misses Rhett as much as he does – Rhett’s boyfriend Julian. But with each step, the two become closer. Can Deacon and Julian find comfort, love and acceptance with each other? Truly heart wrenching as well as heart warming at the same time this was a fabulous read. Beautifully written characters and a storyline that traps you in like a warm hug this book is one I will read again and again.
Without You is a stand alone M/M romance by Marley Valentine. This is a beautiful, unforgettable story of finding love after loss. It’s the story of two men finding the healing power of love in a way they never imagined.
Deacon Sutton grew up in Billings, Montana. He never felt like he fit in with his family, like he measured up. He moved to Seattle, Washington to start his own business, a successful mechanic’s shop, and to try to find happiness apart from his family. But it always eluded him.
Deacon’s younger brother, Rhett, fought a battle with cancer on and off for years. The love of Rhett’s life was their next door neighbor, Julian, who had been accepted as part of their family. When Rhett lost his battle, a family already fractured, fell further apart. Deacon distanced himself further from the family and Julian’s heart was forever broken.
It’s been a year since Rhett’s death, and Julian Reid is barely existing. He works at a bar at night, and still lives in the house he shared with Rhett. He hasn’t been able to move forward, just existing day to day. Rhett’s family wants everyone together for the one year anniversary of his death. This means seeing Rhett’s brother, Deacon again, the man who always seemed to dislike him for some reason.
“I really just want to be around him. I want him to invade my space and push my boundaries. For the first time, the unknown is much more appealing than everything I thought I knew, and I love the way it feels.”
Deacon is determined that during his stay with his family, he will mend fences. What he didn’t expect was the need to be near Julian, the need to touch him. Deacon has never, ever looked at a man with any kind of interest or attraction. But he finds himself having all kinds of strange feelings when he’s near Julian and he can’t figure out why. All he knows is that when he’s near him, he feels peace.
Deacon and Julian’s journey is beautiful and heart breaking. They are dealing with past pain, guilt, and trying to somehow begin a new path forward.
“All those missing pieces were no longer missing because I’d found them in Julian.”
I loved these two so, so much. I loved how they were with each other, how they held each other up. I loved that even though their feelings for each other confused them, they accepted them and explored them.
“Love pours out of him, like he’s been waiting his whole life to shower someone with it.”
This is a testament to love, to finding love in a place you never imagined, of grabbing hold of your chance for happiness in whatever form it presents itself. This is a love story that I will not soon forget.
“Trust me. Trust us.”
I am completely blown away by this story. Deacon and Julian take us on one unbelievable roller coaster ride of emotions throughout their story. I enjoy a good MM romance and this book brought it all from the beginning until the very last words written. I found myself grabbing for tissues more often then not because the way their story’s told you feel that deep down connection to them. This is undoubtedly a story I will be rereading again because I absolutely loved it. A must read and I highly suggest bumping to the top of your TBR list.
I was so not expecting what we ended up getting with this story. Deacon and Julian dealing with the loss of Rhett, each dealing with it in a different way, yet both struggling. When Deacon goes back home for the year anniversary of Rhett’s death, he was obviously not looking forward to it. What Deacon wasn’t looking forward to the most, was seeing Julian again; Rhett’s Julian, so the feelings that Deacon has should not be happening, but he can’t seem to help himself. When he realizes that Julian is also dealing with the same guilt, will the two just walk away? Or will they take this chance to move on, to feel again?
A really good story that had me in tears in the beginning, and really rooting for the two to figure out how to make it work. This story also gave us some very accurate details about what happens to the family dynamic when something like this happens. I actually would really love to have had a look into the future a bit more for the two. I give this 4 stars.
Oh, hello. It’s me again. The girl who stays up all bloody night crying, laughing, flipping pages rabidly to a book that crushed my heart, shredded my soul, made me laugh, made me cry, and then put me all back together again.
This book was beautiful, eloquent, perfect.
I love books about a love that was never meant to be, and this was a hundred percent that. The pain makes the happy ever after so much sweeter, so much more worth the journey. This book will be with me for a long time.
“It doesn’t feel wrong. It feels anything but wrong.”
I am still trying to form words after finishing this book. The emotion that flows from these characters and their story stole my breath away.
I was not expecting this book to hit me the way it has. I don’t typically get over emotional while reading but I am still trying to get a grip on myself.
Julian and Deacon are imperfectly perfect. They both come with so much baggage but they just.. COMPLETE each other.
“For the first time, the unknown is much more appealing than everything I thought I knew, and I love the way it feels.”
Without You packed an emotional punch that has left me in a HUGE book hangover. I laughed, I cried, I smiled, and I felt so much anger when anything in the smallest degree happened negatively to these characters.
I felt like a fly on the wall. Marley has made me fall in love with Deacon and Julian and this is a book that will forever stay with me.
“The regret. The guilt. The shame. I kiss him hard enough to forget them. I kiss him hard enough so he’ll remember me.”
Julian and Deacon’s story is one of the best I’ve ever read. It is not an easy story, there were places where I was crying so hard I had to put it down and walk away, but in the end Marley proves that love, real, unshakeable love will show you who your family is and that no matter what that family looks like they are worth everything.
A lovely, funny, sad, sexy AF book with characters that hold such love in their hearts they are worth every tear. Not just a favourite for 2020, but for my lifetime.
https://bexbookrevieux.blogspot.com/2020/03/julian-and-deacons-story-is-one-of-best.html?m=1
Unforgettable. Heart-wrenching. Beautiful love.
I was not prepared for Deacon and Julian.
An incredibly emotional, beautifully written story of loss, moving forward and forever love. The author put me through the ringer and I loved every word. I am emotionally spent. My heart is battered. This story was poignant and I am still thinking about it days later. This book is in my Top Reads for 2020!
Julian lost the love of his life. Deacon lost his little brother. Their family is fractured. Deacon is hurting. Julian is barely living. It’s been a year. A year of unbelievable struggle just to function.
Julian and Deacon were never close. However, they are connected by their love for Rhett. Their broken hearts bring them together. Unlikely friends who find common ground. An unwanted attraction soon follows and it’s mutual.
They fight ghosts of the past. They try and deny their chemistry. It’s a slow burn. How do you fall for your dead brother’s boyfriend? Sometimes there is no choice.
Deacon has never really been happy, but Julian makes him smile. The lightness he never knew comes into his life. A straight guy until him. The man he can’t get out of his head.
Julian has guilt about letting go and moving on. For the first time, in a long time, he wants to dream of a future. He wants to love and be loved. He never thought Deacon would heal his broken heart.
Every story the author tells evokes strong emotions. This story broke my heart but also delivers a message of hope. Happiness is there for the taking. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. It’s honoring life. Living the way you were meant to is the best way to remember a lost loved one.
Grab a box of tissues and some comfort snacks. Get ready for an emotional journey worth the heartache.
Without You is a beautifully heartbreaking and emotional read. It’s a story of love and loss, the guilt of moving on, and the fear of letting go of the past.
Deacon and Julian are lost in their grief for the same man in this emotionally raw, slow burn MM romance. The feelings between these two go deep and their chemistry sizzles. I loved it!
Marley Valentine is a new author for me and if this is the type of things that she writes all the time, then count me in. Without You looks at the story between Deacon and Julian. Deacon has just lost his brother to cancer who happened to be the boyfriend of Julian. Here the journey begins between the two of them.
The story looks at the relationship that deacon not only had with his brother, but also the relationship that he has with his family which throughout the book comes across as quite toxic. Even though Deacon seems standoffish to begin with, we really see the development of his character throughout the book and the development of his feelings for a man. Whilst Julian is trying to move on with his life after the death of his boyfriend. Yet, seeing Deacon all of the time reminds him of his death as well as the development of his guilt for liking a new man in the shape of Deacon.
This story sure packs a punch when it comes to emotions. Not only are we dealing with the emotional death of a loved one, but also the grieving process and how we all grieve differently. It was interesting to read about the relationships that Deacon has with other members of his family and we as a reader are sort of watching the drama play out whilst having our heart broken by how Deacon feels and is treated. We are also watching as he develops feelings for a man who he has never thought about that way before and how that effects not only him but also Julian.
I really liked both Julian and Deacon as characters, but this book for me, is focused more through Deacon’s eyes with some parts of it being about Julian’s guilt, heartache, insecurities and ultimately falling in love with another man who just happens to be the brother of the boyfriend that died. There were some really great scenes between the two men which were both funny, sexy and at times heart-breaking.
This is a must-read book for those who like theirs emotional, gritty and full of some steamy scenes.
ARC received for a fair, honest and sometimes long review
More of my reviews can be found on my blog: https://thehotmesslibrary.blogspot.com