In this riveting, poignant memoir of three generations of women and the white dresses that adorned them—television producer Mary Pflum Peterson recounts a journey through loss and redemption, and her battle to rescue her mother, a former nun, from compulsive hoarding.
As a successful television journalist at Good Morning America, Mary Pflum is known as a polished and highly organized producer. … producer. It’s a persona at odds with her tortured childhood, where she watched her emotionally vulnerable mother fill their house with teetering piles of assorted “treasures.” But one thing has always united mother and daughter—their love of white dresses. From the dress worn by Mary’s mother when she became a nun and married Jesus, to the wedding gown she donned years later, to the special nightshirts she gifted Mary after the birth of her children, to graduation dresses and christening gowns, these white dresses embodied hope and new beginnings.
After her mother’s sudden death in 2010, Mary digs deep to understand the events that led to Anne’s unraveling. At twenty-one, Anne entered a convent, committed to a life of prayer and helping others. But lengthy periods of enforced fasting, isolation from her beloved students, and constant humiliation eventually drove her to flee the convent almost a decade later. Hoping to find new purpose as a wife and mother, Anne instead married an abusive, closeted gay man—their eventual divorce another sign of her failure.
Anne retreats into chaos. By the time Mary is ten, their house is cluttered with broken appliances and stacks of unopened mail. Anne promises but fails to clean up for Mary’s high school graduation party, where Mary is being honored as her school’s valedictorian, causing her perfectionist daughter’s fear and shame to grow in tandem with the heaps upon heaps of junk. In spite of everything, their bond endures. Through the white dresses, pivotal events in their lives are celebrated, even as Mary tries in vain to save Anne from herself.
Unflinchingly honest, insightful, and compelling, White Dresses is a beautiful, powerful story—and a reminder of the unbreakable bonds between mothers and daughters.
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I found the book to be totally relatable. I am in the same position as the author as I currently dealing with family members that suffer from depression which has lead to hoarding. I did not find the author to be pretentious at all. Some people like the finer things in life. If you have a family member suffering from depression and hoarding this book will give you some insight into understanding why they hoard.
One of the most heartfelt and loving books I have read in a really long time. Beautiful memoir by a daughter about her mother and their relationship in spite of so much pain and adversity. Loved this book and would highly recommend it!
A well written memoir that chronicles the effects of a compulsive hoarder in a very loving, understanding way, with a very relatable story that kept me interested.
I enjoyed this book, a memoir by the worldly daughter of a bright woman who became a hoarder. There is a great deal of sadness here, as with any family situation where mental health issues dictate aspects of life in unbelievable ways. I read the book because I have OCD tendencies and collect items that I don’t want to part with. It looks like hoarding to many people, and understandably so! I was raised by depression era parents who had to think about repairing or repurposing an item before throwing things away. I needed to know how my collections of art materials, books, rocks and fabrics looked to others. Unlike a hoarder, I am not willing to live with filth, trash, vermin or broken plumbing fixtures. This book offered me a glimpse of the similarities and differences between my behaviors and those of a woman quite like myself in many ways. I have a better understanding of myself, as a result.
Excellent book, a memoir.
I loved love loved this book. I was so impressed with this family story that I bought my daughter a copy
Great bio/memoir. Very realistic portrayal of hoarding and how people can function with mental illness (untreated).
The book has a good premise, the white dresses that the narrator wore at different turning points in her life form the center of her vignettes. It’s just not riveting.
Couldn’t stop reading… true story… heartbreaking in so many ways.
GOOD STORY LINE
Poignant
Having grown up with a mother with similarities to the author’s mother, I cringed at the time and energy the author wasted on her relationship as an adult with her mother and, to a lesser extent, the over-focus on the small town she grew up in. I kept reading on to see if the author would ever come to her senses and re-direct her energies and was frustrated when she did not. I say this from experience that it would have been more productive for the author to redirect her focus to her ongoing relationship with her brother, and the family the author created, as well as her own internal motivation and achievement of personal and professional success notwithstanding many challenge and few advantages.
I enjoyed this book for so many of the things I have in common with the author, growing up Catholic in the Midwest. But there were so many things I do not have in common with the author (she is tall and thin and an Emmy winning TV producer). I still found the book – so poignant with her mother daughter issues. Her Mother suffered through so much trying to live up to her parent’s, her church’s and her husband’s demands. When she finally should have been able to break free of some of this she didn’t have the tools and it drove her in a completely different direction.
Once the author gets away she is torn between missing her mother and not wanting to be stuck in the small town and the misery her mother has created for herself there.
The write-up sounded so interesting, but the book just seemed to drag & was depressing. I gave up half way through it.
Very well written.
This book hit close to home and gave me a little more insight to my mother’s problems.
A sad true story of the confusing love between family members.
True story about a family and the trials and tribulations
Sad but true story about a daughter dealing with her mothers mental illness
This is well worth the read. The author tackled many difficult issues dead-on. She is not a coward. It’s always a pleasant surprise when a book gives you something to think about. So few do. This one had many things to chew upon. I’m sorry her mother had so much pain in her life. Even when life gives a person many gifts, it doesn’t necessarily give a sweet happy ending.