Running from a scandal that ruined his life, Isaac Twain accepts a teaching position at Hambden University where, three months prior, Professor John Conlon stopped a campus nightmare by stepping in front of an active shooter. When John and Isaac become faculty advisors for the school’s literary magazine, their professional relationship evolves. Despite the strict code of conduct forbidding … forbidding faculty fraternization, they delve into a secret affair—until Simon arrives.
Isaac’s violent ex threatens not only their careers, but also John’s life. His PTSD triggered, John must come to terms with that bloody day on College Green while Isaac must accept the heartbreak his secrets have wrought.
WE STILL LIVE is a standalone M/M friends-to-lovers romance featuring detailed adult content, graphic violence, hurt/comfort, and mental illness.
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I would rate this 4.5 stars.
Isaac, a new professor at a college that just had a mass shooting, moved from South Carolina to Ohio for a fresh start. He is surrounded by people with PTSD, an outsider among those who have not only known each other for years, but who have bonded over a painful event that he doesn’t know a lot about. Running from his own demons, Isaac has to forgive his own secret past, before he came be truly present for his future. Meeting his colleague John is a complication, a fresh start, and a powerful emotional journey he wasn’t expecting.
Be warned: besides some wonderfully explicit sex scenes, this also contains violence, suicide, and copious amounts of alcohol. The nonfraternization policy at the university creates a taboo nature that is fun at first, with the flirting and kissing. Right away this becomes serious as both men are dealing with trauma and have a lot to lose moving forward with a relationship. Them working on the literary magazine in the English department was a great plot point–I wish I could read it. The side characters like John’s best friend Tommy, a student John works with named Janelle, and a departmental employee named Cleo all add so much to this story, I can’t imagine it without them. I even got attached to Sonya, who is not shown in the best light. I loved how the book shows that grief and trauma affect people in a myriad of ways. Sometimes people don’t realize the impact they have on those around them. Sometimes, doing the right thing can hurt. Sometimes, what you think is best is not what’s best for everyone involved.
The point of view is Isaac’s, but the reader is not privy to everything since there are things he just doesn’t want to think about. Information is layered in throughout the book. By the time I realized it was all sliding slowly down a dark road, I was completely hooked. They both have mental health issues from trauma: whereas John seems to be dealing with his (therapy and medication), Isaac is ignoring his. I wondered if Isaac had given himself the job of rescuing John so he could avoid fixing his own mess. When Isaac’s ex Simon shows up, I felt genuinely frightened by this seemingly obsessed angry man’s actions, but then this plot point just fizzles out as Simon realizes this is a battle he can’t really win. Simon brings everything to a head, but I do wish it was a bit more nuanced since everything else here is so wonderfully well written. There is a time period where Isaac and John are separated during which I would have loved to see John work through his own issues. I don’t understand why there isn’t more shown about his Catholic guilt, or any guilt about his treatment of his wife and Simon. I feel like it would have strengthened a book since several months go by. While John is working hard to get better, Isaac does seem like all his issues go away when Simon does.
In some ways this has a happy ending, yet trauma changes people forever. Even though it was hopeful, I was left with such a lingering sadness since we all know this is an ongoing societal issue with no end in sight. The author handled the gut-wrenching topics of mass shootings and mental health issues brilliantly. All I can say is that I cared about everyone–I cared what happens to each character–and isn’t that what we all want from a good book?
A Wonderful, Haunting Story
I wish I knew where to start with this review. We Still Live is my first book by Sara Dobie Bauer so I guess I’ll start with that. Next, I have to say that I was absolutely blown away by this story. It’s deep, and moving, and hard to read in places, but it’s going on my list of favorite books of 2019.
I think We Still Live is two stories in one. On the one hand it’s a love story focused on Isaac and John, on the other it’s a story about the aftermath of a horrible incident on a college campus and the effect it had on students and teachers. There’s a strong theme of recovery.
Isaac has fled his life in North Carolina after a scandal that involved his coming out as gay. John witnessed the shooting on campus and is hailed as a hero for saving student’s lives.
It’s really difficult for me to put into words how I felt when I read this book. It’s the second M/M book I’ve read in the last couple of years that deals with the aftermath of a shooting. These are difficult stories to tell and they are, unfortunately, realistic.
I applaud Sara Dobie Bauer for writing a book that not only deals with difficult subject matter but also doesn’t hesitate to portray the aftermath, including PTSD and mental illness. John suffers significant repercussions from the shooting and we don’t learn the full extent of his issues until well into the story
We Still Live was a very compelling book that I didn’t want to put down but I needed to, just to absorb everything that was happening. I really can’t say enough good things about this book but I know that it won’t be for everyone due to the subject matter.
A copy of this book was provided to me but my review was voluntary and not influenced by the author.
***Reviewed for Xtreme-Delusions dot com***
WE STILL LIVE is a contemporary, standalone book that deals with some hard-hitting issues – mental illness and violence at school being just two. John is classed as a hero for his actions in the summer, but it affected him in ways even he doesn’t fully understand. Isaac is a new teacher, running from his own past. John isn’t Isaac’s type, he tells him often enough to begin with, but there is an attraction there that he can’t deny.
Although to begin with I wasn’t 100% behind Isaac and John, they both managed to change my point of view so I can’t see either of them without the other. If I’m being completely honest, I wasn’t sure about when Simon turned up. So much emphasis had been made on Elizabeth that when Simon turned up, it almost felt jarring.
This is very well-written, with plenty of emotion and soul-searching to be found. Sara Dobie Bauer showed in so many ways how something like this will have an effect on everyone, and will affect how they view their surroundings in the future.
This is a deep and meaningful book, definitely not one to be read lightly. This does not stop me from highly recommending it though. In fact, I think this is something everyone should read.
There is a lot to cover in this review because the author tackled many subjects. First, the writing is impeccable, as always. Sara is wonderful at her craft, and I much enjoyed reading her written words for the second time, since I previously reviewed another novel by her that can be found here.
Because this is the second novel I read by her, I’m assuming she enjoys developing extremely flawed and complex characters that I think more of as protagonists than heroes. Some might find Isaac hard to like, but I liked him, because his flaws are so real. Instead of dealing with something (I won’t say what in fear of a spoiler) that led him to taking a teaching position at the university, he ran. And he’s even a runner in the novel, jogging late at night, suffering bouts of insomnia.
He wrestles with temptation, with lust, with fear, with guilt. I thought he really shone in this novel and was wonderfully written. He was deep and complex, just like every human being is.
However, with Isaac being extremely flawed, John is presented as the guy everyone wants or wants to be. He was a little too perfect for me. I wanted to rub some dirt on him and make him at little stained, but the stains he carries are those inflicted by a terrible incident that he had to suffer through, and still suffers through. He didn’t have a POV in the novel, and he didn’t need one. This is Isaac’s story.
Read more here: https://maggieblackbird.com/2019/12/18/sara-dobie-bauer-we-still-live/#more-11009
4.5 stars
Heat Level: 3.5
Real, powerfully honest and somewhat confronting. This book is going to stay with me for a long time!
Wow! The power, truth and core reality of this book will knock you through a loop, break you apart then slowly stitch you back together.
I loved the raw honestly Sara placed in this book and it is likely true for anyone who has suffered PTSD, lost a loved one or been witness to a violent event. It changes you! This story reflects the reality of those who are left behind, the aftermath. The complexities and nuances of each of these characters and what they went through in the aftermath of a violent shoot reflect the truth of humanity and harsh reality for many when faced with something so horrific.
I found John so real. His path, personality, and mental health fluctuate throughout this story as if he were real and you can feel the emotions, complexities, and challenges he faces. Sara has created an endearingly snarky character, so real and honest; I just wanted to hug him. I felt Isaac complemented John well and really, grows into himself. He has/had a lot of internalized homophobia to overcome, along with a few other challenges (and violent) events to overcome, all in a new place, as a new person. My only surprise was Isaac’s ex, Simon. As a character he was unhinged, to say the least, and then suddenly does an about-face and accepts defeat which does not seem to be part of his make up, until that point. I did keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and his “revenge” to wreak havoc but it never came and I don’t know how I feel about that…
I must say while parts of this book are confronting and raw I loved the overall message and that it’s okay to seek help, step back and recharge. You may be changed forever by what’s happened to you but you still live and you need to keep on pushing through and healing.
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This story ended up being so much more than I expected. I knew I was getting a m/m storyline but the depth that I found from this new to me author was perfect. More than your average boy meets boy, boy falls for boy. While the chemistry between John and Isaac is pretty plain to see…what eventually draws them together is pain. Learning to live after tragedy and scandal. Surviving when others didn’t have that chance. Being there for those who need you even when it seems it may hurt you in the end. Forgiving yourself for actions that may have created the events that destroy your life, your mental well being. We Still Live teaches us that despite the pain, we are alive and we must live and thrive
I was drawn in by the cover of We Still Live and, as someone who enjoys hurt-comfort romances, the blurb convinced me this was a must read book. We Still Live is my first book by the author and I was impressed with her writing style, the smooth pacing, and the character development. This is definitely a heavy book that addresses a number of pertinent issues in today’s society and readers should heed the trigger warnings (particularly those regarding mass shootings and school violence).
I liked both main characters in We Still Live and thought Isaac and John’s bond that grew in the shadows of their individual pain was admirable. Both John and Isaac are dealing with their own demons and secrets at the start of the book and the way those slowly unfurled made for an interesting read. That said, Isaac’s pain felt very different and almost simpler than John’s, quickly igniting and dissipating to what felt like a footnote by the end of the book. I’m not sure if that’s why I never quite felt as invested in Isaac’s character, or if it was the secrecy surrounding his appearance on campus that gave me pause.
Once Isaac dealt with his past, We Still Live morphed into a book predominantly focused on the aftermath of a school shooting, particularly how John processes the events of that tragic day. Subjects like these are always difficult to navigate, but I appreciated the author’s sensitivity to the traumatic events and the characters’ reactions. I was also impressed that the author represented a wide variety of responses to the tragedy, validating the range of emotions survivors may feel and I thought the way she gave life to those often conflicting feelings via the journal was fantastic. While I liked the main characters and thought their individual stories were well done, it was the entirety of the experience and all the characters that really made this book for me. The secondary characters that surround John and Isaac added substantial depth to the story and main characters, giving a wider scope of the university shooting and its effects and providing an immersing read that caught my full attention. If you’re looking for a raw, vulnerable hurt-comfort romance, We Still Live is definitely worth the read.
What I Think: So, I almost didn’t sign up for this tour. The storyline shrieked it would hurt and aaarrgghh, my life is super hard right now so avoiding all tearjerkers. But my size kink, professor kink, and the Authoress involved compelled me. I should have known that Mme. Sara would find a way to turn it into such a comfort tale that I cried even as I laughed, tears of relief and longing falling free as this unlikely couple plowed through disaster after disaster. John is delicate, almost fairy-like, of creamy skin and dark hair with a passion and generosity of soul that fills up the air around him and makes him larger than life. Which means, he’s definitely not Isaac’s type. Isaac is big and blonde, older than John, still struggling to leave the closet and running from demons. He should know better than to fall in love under secrets.
This tale snuck up on me so slow and sweet like molasses as even the painful history they had before they met and the demons they still battled made the romance as necessary as breathing. Before I realized it, I was in love with them both, hoping that I’ll be able to give my future partner this feeling of safety even as it made me crave a love so effortless. John and Isaac seep into each other’s empty spaces, filling their cracks with love, friendship, and companionship. A companionship that comes to include John’s best friend Tommy, their colleague Cleo and even a frenemy. Hozier’s Movement wouldn’t get out of my head as I read this tale because that song makes me ache just as much as this tale did – in all the good ways. Despite the pain they had to go through, the angst was never really between them and not even Isaac’s demon from the past turning up could break that. The last scene though, that last scene is the most realistic HFN I’ve seen in a while as it reminds us that in spite of the scars we carry, we still live. I needed to go back and read all my favorite parts at east thrice before I could drop this tale. The book hangover lasted almost a week as I struggled to not have this tale on my mind while forcing myself to read others. At the risk of channeling Oliver Twist – Ma’am, at any point in this century, and only if the Muse moves you accordingly, please write one scene where John gives in to his burgeoning need to let Isaac do what he’s craving – bind John up so he can indulge. We both deserve it.
Verdict? Deserving of a place on the first tier of your comfort bookshelves for it is a tale of love plus the redemption and saving grace it brings.
We Still Live by Sara Dobie Bauer is a standalone, contemporary M/M romance with a friends-to-lovers theme. This book deals with violence, hurt and comfort, mental illness and other hard topics. It gripped me from the start and kept me interested and invested.
The characters feel real and raw, with imperfections, scars and insecure feelings. Isaac and John are well developed characters that pull you into their world and make you feel apart of it. John is dealing with the aftermath of tragic events that happened the year before while Isaac is running from his past mistakes and trying to find a new beginning. Sadly the past has a way of haunting you.. in John’s case that is psychological and emotional while for Isaac it’s a physical presence that tries to disrupt what he is building of a new life. Their connection was strong and beautiful.
The story has angst, drama, pain… it’s about learning to live on, learning to forgive yourself and let yourself heal. Its emotional and wonderful. The story is well written, emotional and the kind that sticks with you even after you read the final page.