“Along with naming me Marguerite after her favorite daisy, Mama gave me three things: Red hair that hasn’t faded. A love of nature. And a belief that somewhere between heaven and earth there is magic.” At age fifty-five, Meg’s life is too filled with loss for her to remember what magic feels like. All she has left is a yard brimming with plants that are wilting in the scorching Iowa summer—and … scorching Iowa summer—and a bone-deep feeling that she’s through with living.
Meg has something else too: a bottle of mysterious pills, given to her years ago by an empathetic doctor. He promised that they would offer her dying mother a quick, painless end in exactly twenty days. Though her mother never needed them, Meg does. But a strange thing happens after Meg swallows the little green pearls . . .
Now that she’s decided to leave this world, Meg is rediscovering the joy in it. She sheds everything she no longer needs—possessions, regrets, guilt—and reconnects with those she cares for. Finally confronting the depth of her grief, she’s learning that love runs deeper still. But is it too late to choose to stay?
“A book to hold against your heart long after the last page is turned.”
—New York Times bestselling author Susan Wiggs
“Twenty reminds us to live with our hearts wide open even when they’ve been broken, and how to love even when it hurts.”
—Julie Cantrell, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Perennials
“Written with such strong and heartfelt faith in the magic and power of never-ending love, it will renew your own.”
—Judy Reene Singer, author of In the Shadow of Alabama
more
Normally, I like to write my review of a book almost immediately after finishing it. That wasn’t the case for “Twenty” by Debra Landwehr Engle. I felt like I needed to take some time to process what I’d read, and give it some serious thought in order to insure my review did the book justice. That alone is high praise for the book….and even now, I’m not sure I can adequately express what I feel about it.
On a basic level, “Twenty” is the story of a woman who is tired, depressed, and basically done with life. She makes a major decision, and the reader follows her journey as she experiences the consequences of that decision. Through a combination of Meg’s present-day story and her reminiscences of the past, we learn a lot about her, her life, and everything that led her to this present state of affairs. If you’re looking for a good story about a woman’s life, this book fits the bill.
But…it is SO MUCH MORE! At it’s heart, “Twenty” addresses the age-old question of “How would you live if you knew you were dying?”. The answers Meg finds to this question make logical sense for her, and also give the reader an amazing, intimate perspective into who Meg truly is as a person. The book also gives the reader plenty to think about. If you’re open to it, Meg’s journey can be as life-changing for you as it is for her. This is what makes “Twenty” so special. After reading it, I honestly felt differently about life and priorities. I hope it does the same for you.
Thank you, Debra Engle, for writing such a wonderful, thought-provoking book.
Five out of five absolutely perfect wedges of Stilton Gold!
While much of the book was well-written, it had a terrible no-ending conclusion. This may work for some readers, it simply was not my cup of tea.
This is a must read book that has the potential to change your life. It shows how Meg, by 55 years old, has a lot of losses in her life. She’s lost her father, her daughter, her husband, her mother and her will to live. Through the book, as she opts “to take pills that could end her life in 20 days” she starts pruning things around the house that she “no longer needs”, makes repairs and gets”things in order” so her sister has less to deal with if she is no longer here. Through this process she discovers what is really important in life, that there is beauty in the little things and regains a sense of joy and peace as the 20 days come to a close. This book reminds us what is really important in life and to cherish the little things.
Meg sees her life through a lens of despair and loneliness and loss. She lost her mother to dementia and age. She lost her ten-year old daughter Rose in an accident. She lost her father in a train accident. She lost her husband when she pushed him away after the death of their daughter. So when Meg finds the three green pearls that the doctor had given her to ease her mother’s passing, Meg mixes the pearls into her yogurt. The doctor had told her that twenty days after ingesting the pearls, a person would suffer a painless death. After she takes the pearls, she begins keeping a diary that becomes the book Twenty. Meg begins to put her possessions, her will, and her life in order. She surreptitiously says goodbye to friends. She visits her sister and her sister’s family in Seattle. With each change Meg makes, she gets lighter and grows more positive. Joe, her former husband visits, and they reconnect. Suddenly Meg finds herself fully alive for the first time in years. And day by day, she marks off the twenty days on her calendar. This book is awesome and inspirational, reminding that small things matter. That we need to stop and just breathe. That we need to forgive ourselves. That we need to find the joy within us.
Wow, what a story! I did not know how much I was going to enjoy this book, it was so much more then I thought it would be. I am just disappointed with the very end but then again maybe it was the perfect way to end it. A must read for sure.
Excellent book with life lessons and was thought provoking. Wish the ending would have been different.
It makes you think about the blessings in life.
Wasn’t sure from the topic that i was going to like this book, but i loved it!!! Look at your life as glass half full.
Never saw the ending coming. Another book about living your life to its fullest without the preaching. Nothing “in your face”, but you think about it long after you finish. Thank you for writing it!!!
A soul twisting story that will change you
I believe a review I saw said you would “carry this story in your heart” for awhile. That is dead-on. At the beginning I was not sure this was a book to read right now. But it turned out to be perfect timing. If you need to fall in love with life again, if something has drained you, if your life has broken and you need to glue it back together, this story is perfect. Great characters, surprising storyline, and easy but pleasing read. It just opens your eyes and heart. I’m very grateful to have discovered it.
Thought provoking.
If only we lived this way every day…
Very interesting premise, but let me just say i think the author is a coward.
The protagonist is an ‘ordinary’ person who is struggling under a huge burden of grief. She hasn’t really ‘done’ anything to try to understand or mitigate this grief. It isn’t until she decides to take this pills that may or may not cause her to die in twenty days that she gets down to the things that really matter. Thought-provoking and an interesting journey around the issues of long term marriage and forgiveness.
Just could not get past the slow start, did not read more than a few pages before moving on to another book that could hold my interest…
My Review
#DebraLandwehrEngle
#KensingtonBooks
#Twenty
At 55 Meg’s megs has Loved lost been through it all. Lost her child.
Time to Clean up the clutter in mommas house, seeing how meg’s is ready for what’s to come.
Meg’s Not Afraid to Leave this world.
At times not sure taken the Pearls was, what she wanted..
But other times.. felling good about what she’s done.
Joe has come back into her life.
Joe Left Years ago.
When Meg and Joe. Lost
Rose..
This was Truly a wonderful story.
One Book that will stick with you..
One that will make you think.
This book was such a lovely surprise. I read a brief review that sounded interesting but it was so much more than I expected. It made me really think about gratitude, awareness of the beauty around us, being present in the moment and always sharing life with those around us. The story was absolutely beautiful and the ending will stay with me for a long, long time. Twenty was a perfect read during Covid 19 in 2020. I loved it!
What would you consider important if you only had 20 days left to live? This book has inspired me to start cleaning out my junk from my house and life. Live like there is no tomorrow because we are in the middle of a pandemic of 2020 now. I am on Day 17 of the book, and look forward to finishing it so I can finish fixing some wrongs in my life. What a great read. I will be reading more from this author.
An emotional read, quickly read. Affected me deeply that day and for a few more. Worth reading, but choose your timing well. Cathartic?
Not at all what I expected. Who would expect to be uplifted by a book about a woman who takes mysterious pills that will end her life in twenty days? And yet, that was exactly how I felt when I came to the end. These characters were real and raw and relatable, and I have not been pulled into a story this way in a long time.