“A thousand half loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.”Carin Frost doesn’t understand what’s happening to her. A confident businesswoman, wife, and mother, she begins to resent everything about her life. Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes her feel. Maybe it’s the recent loss of her mother in a tragic accident. Or maybe she’s just losing her mind. Enter Matias Torres. As their new …
Enter Matias Torres. As their new business partnership thrives, so does their friendship—and his interest in her. Carin is determined to keep her distance, until a work assignment sends them to Southeast Asia where a storm is brewing on the island. In the midst of the chaos, Matias asks her to do something unimaginable, exhilarating, BOLD. Carin knows the consequences could be dire, but it may be the only way to save herself.
An honest look at love and marriage and the frailties of the human heart, this is a story of a woman’s loss of self and purpose and the journey she takes to find her way back.
“A lyrically written masterpiece of women’s fiction that is emotional, raw, and real.” ~Tarryn Fisher, New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
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A lyrically written masterpiece of women’s fiction that is emotional, raw, and real.
Hooked from beginning to end, I did not want to read the last word. Take a chance and dive into the heart and soul of Christine Brae. A journey well worth your time. Perhaps even change your life.
A well written emotional story that once I started reading I was not putting the book down until I had finished reading it. This is a new Author to me, I will now be looking for other books by her. I received a copy through NetGalley and I am voluntarily reviewing.
Full disclosure: I did receive an ARC copy of this book from Hidden Gems, and this is my honest review. I feel like this book will resonate with so many women out there who are experiencing the same type of feelings as Carin. They will feel a sort of kinship with this woman who has an outward appearance of a “perfect” life, but feels like she has a gaping hole in her soul, like everything that was once her authentic self, has been sucked out, leaving a shell of a woman who can barely handle even the most basic tasks, such as cleaning or paying bills. Carin is really at her wits end when Matias drops into her life. He is like the fresh air that she needs to breathe and escape from how stagnant her life has become. The only real joy in her life is her son Charlie, but even her love for him can’t fix what is broken inside of her. Will taking a chance with Matias stop her downward spiral, or will their time together just be a big regret for both of them? When I first started this book, I was having a hard time getting through the first few chapters, but I’m glad I kept going. This book was both heartbreaking and uplifting. I think you will really like this book and be satisfied with the ending.
This was an emotional story that had me captivated. This was a powerful story that stays with you long after you’ve finished. Carin has everything most women dream of. She has a loving husband and child and a successful career but she’s unhappy. It makes you stop and think and wonder what could make her so unhappy. When she has to go on a business trip with her new business partner she gets put in a life or death situation. This makes her feel for the first time in forever and the decisions made can change both their lives.
I don’t want to say much and give away anything about this book. The Year I Left is a book you need to read without any spoilers. I loved this book and couldn’t put it down. Christine Brae writes fantastic stories with characters you love. I highly recommend this book.
The premise of this book is one that made me sit back and think a bit. In the Year I Left, I pretty much understood Carin’s actions. A working mom who is drowning in her comfortable life, presumably suffering from a great depression since her dear mother passed away a year prior. Carin could be any woman. One who goes about her everyday with the drive to do it all right. But when loss takes a part of you and you are drowning in despair, sometimes something or someone new and refreshing are all it takes to want to disappear and start anew.
Carin’s thoughts as she ponders over the way she met Matias and the unexpected way they are drawn to each other are well-thought out and delivered beautifully by Brae. To feel stuck. To feel like nothing is the way it should be or should have ever been is something so many of us debate as we get older and our lives seem to exist for everyone but ourselves. Brae gives us the fantasy whereby Carin gets to live out a whole new existence where it is just she and the man she suddenly can’t live without and everything and everyone from her former life, including her husband, sister and 10 year old son, are simply left behind.
Although Carin was in definite pain as she goes about this new life of ‘freedom’ with Matias by her side, I struggled with the decision to leave her son without his knowing exactly what happened to her. Sure there was an earthquake on the small islands they were exploring for the deal they had closed upon, but I can’t imagine throwing my life by the wayside and pretending to have disappeared when water levels rose and grabbing that one chance to go away for good.
The guilt Carin feels is enormous and I’m satisfied that she felt that pang almost hourly, knowing what the death of his mother could and would do to her Charlie. But I was still surprised that she stayed on that remote island for so long. It was often tedious and left me with a huge pit in my stomach not really knowing, right along with Carin and Matias how this blip in time would actually turn out.
Brae does do a good job of tying up the story with the pull of a mother’s love and obligation to return to her son, even with the knowledge that he might not want her any longer. But it felt real and was truly heartbreaking as Carin realizes that perhaps you truly cannot have it all. The love of your life vs. the love of your flesh and blood is not a decision to be made lightly and Brae made it gutwrenchingly difficult no matter Carin’s choices.
Overall it is solid read and gives a great perspective into the psyche of a floundering woman and the hard realizations she has to accept as her life takes a most unexpected turn. Carin and Matias are the real deal and their oft-times missed cues and strained conversations were enhanced by very steamy nights and the desperation that filled their hearts and souls most of the time they were together. But I felt their love and have hope they find a way to be together after the dust settles from their exciting and excruciating adventure.
4 stars to a book that gave me pause and showed that love is not always the answer but it certainly comes close most of the time.
The Year I Left
By: Christine Brae
4.5 Stars
I absolutely love the writing that this author brings to us in each of her books. They are full of emotion, so fulfilling and they enable us to travel to beautiful places by bringing us to them in her vivid descriptions.
Carin Frost is at her breaking point in her life. On one hand, she has it all. A wonderful husband, a young son, a successful career. Not wanting for anything, she has it all.
On the other hand, she’s burned out. She doesn’t need everything, she is battling the loss of her mother, everything is very overwhelming for her. Simple tasks send her spiraling out of control. Emotionally drained. Everything is getting on her nerves. Things she once loved, are now crawling under her skin.
What is one to do?
Matias Torres is the loving, caring, laid back man who enters into Carin’s life at the perfect time. Is it perfect because Carin realizes that her life isn’t what she wants or is it perfect because he is a smooth talker that preys on women who are at their breaking point?
Leave, just chuck it all aside and leave.
Is that the solution? Or is that a Band-Aid to cover the real problem… depression.
It’s an emotional journey that every woman (I believe) has gone through. The temptation of just disappearing from the real world and start fresh somewhere where you are an unknown.
Beautifully penned story that had me turning the pages as quick as I could finish, to find out what was going to happen. Reaching the last page and yelling Nooooooo!!!!!! There has got to be more. There has got to be a book 2 coming. Something….Anything….I’ve got to know…. But for now, I will just write the ending how I feel it would be.
This is the first book I have read from this author so wasn’t sure what to expect but was glad I read it. Took me a bit to get through it as it was very emotional in parts. It tells the story of Carin Frost a woman that is going through a rough patch in her life a workaholic that is depressed and not able to cope with her married life or motherhood at the moment. she goes away for work with her new partner from work and learns to live again while coping with what life throughs at them while they are there. More a womens read I think but very well written. characters are real to life and their story makes you sit back and really think about your own life and where you are going. Good read
The Year I Left is Christine Brae’s best work yet. A woman’s search for herself takes an upside-down turn and I was there for the whole ride!
I struggled with the first half of this book, but the writing was just so great I stuck with it, and I’m so glad I did!
Carin is obviously dealing with some serious depression, burying herself in her work and avoiding her home-life and other responsibilities. A great number of times I just wanted to shake her and request that she TALK to her husband, her sister, her son – anyone. I know that’s not how depression works, though. Enter Matias, everything she didn’t know she was lacking in her life. What happens when the magnetic pull between them gets to be too much, too obvious? The struggle for Carin to dig out of her depression, the new variable of Matias and a blender of perfect circumstances to make some change guide this story. It is a love story, but not a simple one.
Recommend if you need a change of pace from ‘regular’ romance, some fantastic writing and a new perspective on making life changes!
Note: This review contains NO spoilers
Oh, all the feels I am feeling right now. I am still reeling from this emotional and raw love story. Christine Brae has done it again, to me, left me broken down and, again, put back together, again, with this “straight to the heart” contemporary romance, The Year I Left. This intense and heartbreaking love story had me tearing up from beginning to end. Yes, this second novel I have read by this amazing author has left me “wrecked” and in love with her characters.
Christine Brae created well-developed and complex characters with layers to them that I was on an emotional journey with them, so vivid that I was hurting for them, too. Aargh… Why!?!? Christine!?!? Why, have you just destroyed my state of mind when I read your books!?! Not just that… She sets these stories of hers in beautiful and fully descriptive settings that completely whisked me away, as if I was “really” there witnessing her characters’ stories.
The Year I Left is an exquisitely written love story that captured my heart and tore it apart, too. This was such a real and passionate love story that reaches deep inside the soul. I would say no one should miss this read. Not just that, I think there are those who could relate to these characters in one way or another. So, seriously, don’t miss this read in which I felt touched the mind, the heart, and the soul.
Reviewer: Jasmine
5* Very Real Stars
This was a beautifully well-written book which will affect you in every emotionally way possible.
The story of Carin Frost’s life is very real and heartfelt. She is overwhelmed in her roles as wife, mother and successful CEO. You could feel her depression in her everyday activities and how broken she was becoming and added to this how she was struggling to come to terms with loosing her beloved mother.
When she meets Matias her darkness starts to lift and light begins to filter in. Rash decisions are made with huge sacrifices. The characters in the book were very likeable and real. I especially loved Carin’s friendship with Diana, and how it grew.
The epilogue was a bonus and very welcomed.
The cover of the book is beautiful and I highly recommend this wonderful deeply emotional read.
Carin is a successfully independent career woman, a wife and a mother of a ten-year-old boy frantically juggling chores and duties. The recent death of her mother plus the growing distance between her and her husband adds up to her feeling of despondency and resentment, emptiness and overwhelming emotions. Reading through all these and how she reacted to family situations you don’t need to be a rocket scientist or a psychologist to know that she is clinically depressed; although her husband’s laissez faire attitude towards her doesn’t help either.
This beautiful narrative is written in three parts, the first two in Carin’s point of view and the last one is from Matias’ perspective. Ms. Brae never disappoints with her stories, she has a knack of weaving a tapestry of words that will keep you entertained. Although I loved the plot of this story, I find the main characters a bit hard to like at some points in this book: Carin with her life-changing decisions, Jack’s emotional detachment and Matias’ selfish attitude. They might not be the lovable characters I hoped I’d find in this book but one can totally relate on how they feel. There are some minor details regarding Carin’s background that I thought was contradictory but I don’t want to split hairs about it because overall this is a wonderful story about life, love and second chances.
“Because of you, I have heard the colors of the sky, seen the rushing of the wind and tasted the sound of love’s sweet words. To you, I give all my life, all my love, my present and my past.
Whether together or apart the one truth I will always have is you.”
I have followed this author’s journey in writing and considering that this will be her last one, I thought that she finished it on a high, at the top of her game. A truly poignant swan song this book is one of my favourite reads this year. Highly recommended!
If I had to describe Christine Brae’s writing in one word, it would have to be magnificent. The flawless second-person singular narrative in past tense is a powerful one, taking the reader on a crushing journey from the protagonist’s perspective. In my opinion, using this inner thoughts method was brave as it could easily have isolated the other characters. This was by no means the case. And then came another delightful surprise. Plentiful dialogue between her heroine and the other characters was executed in such a way that I couldn’t pull myself away. The true-to-life plot is remarkably good, and it’s clear to see from this book and others from Brae that’s she’s a well-travelled woman. Her description of places and happenings gave me a certain déjà vu feeling, bringing out all the smiles, sometimes tears. And not only did the fish and chips scenario make me chuckle, but the mentioning of Spanish cities and wording was delightfully spot on.
I found it a tad difficult connecting with Carin Frost straightaway. If she hadn’t been so indecisive and got to grips with her issues earlier which was what I wanted, maybe I would have thought differently. Ahh, but later I realized how unfair my opinion of her was. The author clearly wanted me to suffer. Because I did…and a lot. With so much to lose, what’s there to gain by upsetting life’s balance when it appears that you have everything? Granted, she works long hours, is away from home more often than not and responsible for the running of a multinational business. A loving family, a husband who’s attentive and an adorable son wise beyond his years, yet with her admission, even when her selfishness was manifested, it became a welcome reprieve.
‘When you open up to even your closest allies, they always turn your deepest darkest secrets against you.’
Carin’s personal conflicts became mine and despite those around her having a very good idea she’s in pain, they don’t know to what extent. Unless she opens her heart to those who care for her, neither she nor they can move on. I’m sure many of us have had at one point or another experienced distress similar to hers. Illness, vulnerability in relationships, losing someone dear, these factors and more affect us deeply and we’re at a loss. Although her guilt is excruciatingly heartbreaking to read, I never ever blamed Carin for her actions. Intent on finding the peace of mind she desperately needs, I thought she would eventually find it. I’m leaving this question open for you. Will she?
‘I should be grateful, my life is so good. I have nothing to complain about. They’ve been trying to get me back, but I’m so far gone. I’m so far gone!’
Matias Torres is a successful Spanish businessman, drop-dead gorgeous, well-mannered and outwardly calms troubled waters. Inwardly, he also has problems of his own but of a different kind. Carin and Matias’ magnetic attraction for each other leaps off the pages. She tries to ward him off…well, as much as is possible and goes out of her way not to be around him. Still, all is not what it seems.
“When he’s around, I live a few brief moments. And then I die again.”
Here’s one totally smitten guy who’s respectful of her wishes. In one scene which left me aghast, he convinces her to take a running jump into the unknown. If Carin’s state of mind worried me, Matias’ worried me more. Why, when he has such a promising future, did he go to such extremes? Easy to answer, love. But in all its fragility and with so much at stake, trying his hardest to help Carin feel at ease with herself might not be enough.
“Could love come that quickly? Could it die in haste too?”
The before and the after. Part II is a game-changer. If I cried in the first half, heartfelt scenes in the second left me with a feeling of utter joy. Yet Brae still kept that sense of the fragility going. She gave me hope, she made me take a serious look at things we take for granted. Surrounding ourselves with seemly essential things that make us happy in Carin’s book, isn’t the answer. Actually, Brae’s look on life is nothing less than awe-inspiring, her descriptive writing which took me to paradise, out of this world.
‘We steal the moments that belong to others.’
Sadly, Christine’s creative penmanship we shall see no more. I can’t thank her enough for leaving us this legacy of characters impossible to forget, impossible to say goodbye to. The Year I Left is a masterpiece, it is everything. Brae coaxed every imaginable emotion out of me and had me rooting for both Carin and Matias. After turning the last page, I quite honestly didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or shout at the top of my voice. Not at all expected, it was an ending for a beginning. Or was it really? A love story with a difference, a top-quality romance not to be missed. Bravo!
‘Every beginning has an end. And every end starts with a beginning.’
This is a beautifully written book about loss, grief, self discovery and love. It’s a standalone book which covers some difficult and adult topics and does it so well.
I was captivated by this story, which really takes you on a complex journey through the eyes of a woman whose sudden loss of her mother triggers a descent into clinical depression. We see the impact that her declining mental state and subsequent withdrawal has on her family and her work. How she finds forbidden love and despite her initial reservations, does something hugely out of character to try and find herself again.
The world building felt so real and was so vividly descriptive that I could almost see myself there.
It was an incredibly emotional read. I felt her pain and her joy. I felt her loss and her love. The writing style really pulls you in and makes this a real and relatable story. The characters are complex and believable. It’s not often that I get so emotionally invested in fictional characters but I loved them all just a little bit and am sad now that I have finished the book and they are all still within its pages and no longer part of my own journey.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book. This is the first time I’ve read anything by this author but it definitely won’t be the last.
Christine Brae is a first-time author for me. I must say her writing grabs you on an emotional level in this book. My problem was not with Ms. Brae’s writing but with her main characters Carin & Matias.
Their self-absorbed attitudes are enough to make anyone angry and resentful. I understand Carin was depressed, stressed, and feeling unloved by her husband, but I just could not understand why she just did not file for divorce like anyone else.
In addition, Matias, what a jerk, he reminded me of a spoiled child when things did not go as he felt they should go. It was just very hard for me to connect with these two. I do believe this is the perfect book for someone who could relate to Carin and her actions on her level. I received a copy of this book for my honest review from Xpresso Tours.
Oh I do not know where to start. This book evokes just about every emotion you could imagine while reading. My heart was broken and healed. I cried and I loved and I laughed. And when it was over I wanted MORE! Brae knocked this one out of the park!
A beautiful story of a women’s journey when she is feeling lost and the bumps and bruises along the way and how she made her way back home. Christine’s words and storytelling are poetic at times. Amazing epilogue.
When I read the blurb for The Year I Left, I was intrigued. A woman suffering from the loss of her mother meets a younger man who sweeps her off her feet. That meeting sets off a series of events that turn her world upside down. That made me go “Hrmmm” and decide to read the book.
I was disappointed by The Year I Left. The book did deliver on what the blurb promised. But, it was the characters that didn’t do it for me.
I did enjoy how The Year I Left was written. It was told in 2nd person and 1st person. I have read a few books where 2nd person was used successfully. The Year I Left was one of those books. Carin’s story was written as journal entries to Matias for the year they spent together. The 1st person part of the book was told from Matias’s point of view after that year had ended. It made The Year I Left a compelling read for me.
Along with how the book was written, I did like the plotline. It was simple and to the point. The author didn’t add drama to spice the plotline up. What Carin and Matias did was enough.
The author was able to keep the plotline’s pace for the entire book. There was no lag or slowing down of plotline. There were a few minor plotlines that were merged into the main plotline throughout the book.
As much as I saw promise and like the plotline, I couldn’t stand the main characters. Unfortunately, that colored my perspective of the book.
Let’s start with Carin. I could not stand her. I understand that her mother’s death and then her dog’s death a few months later scarred her mentally. I could understand her falling into a deep depression. Heck, I could even understand her not paying her bills and ruining her credit. But what I couldn’t understand is how she checked out on her son and husband. The scenes she had with them, she barely interacted with them. When Matias came into the scene, she was all about him. When he showed up on Carin’s mother/son trip to England, she ignored her son and showered Matias with her attention. When she decided to disappear with Matias, she didn’t think about how it would affect her son. As a mother, it made me sick.
I couldn’t stand Matias either. He knew that Carin was married and he still pursued her. If it were only that, I would have been OK with him. But he border lined stalked her. He texted and called her nonstop. Even after she asked him to stop. But it was when they decided to disappear that my annoyance with him morphed into dislike. He could see how much Carin missed her son. Instead of being compassionate and urging her to contact him, he threw a fit like a toddler. I also forgot to mention that he cheated on his fiancee with Carin. All that stuff together made me not like him.
The end of the book was interesting. But, because of what I thought about Matias and Carin, I couldn’t enjoy it. Matias also started acting like he did at the beginning of the book. Again, strong stalker vibes going on. Also, the epilogue didn’t do it for me. I didn’t believe it.
Favorite Quotes:
That kiss destroyed me, gave me life, made me hopeful and sad at the same time.
I got lost somehow. I don’t know when. I don’t know where… I need to find myself… And then I’ll look for you.
I want you to know that my life only began when I met you, that I’d been waiting all my life for you and that finding you, loving you, has given me purpose, made me whole.
My Review:
This was not an easy read. It was, however, remarkably realistic in how frustrating and exasperating it can be for family and friends of an emotionally or mentally ill individual who will not seek or accept appropriate treatment or assistance, which is bad enough in itself, but then to suddenly disappear. Heartbreaking! This happens more often than most people realize or want to contemplate, although most people’s stories are not as compelling or entertaining as this one.
Carin was wealthy, successful, beautiful, and had a lovely family and lavish home. Yet she felt stagnant, numb, and dissatisfied by her life and deeply envied her free-spirited friend who avoided commitments and blew with the wind. She lived for her work while her family life and personal responsibilities were falling into chaos from avoidance, neglect, and disinterest. She was also zoning out with thoughts of suicide and acts of self-harm and had developed an inexplicable resentment for her kind and loving husband. When the opportunity arose to disappear, she took it.
I had a difficult time caring for Carin, as she initially appeared extremely self-involved and whiny. I was unsympathetic and sighing with displeasure while considering a DNF until I read a bit further and realized she was grieving and clinically depressed. I had found myself growing increasing antagonized and annoyed with Carin, yet I couldn’t put my Kindle down and walk away. Ms. Brae’s emotive and well-nuanced storytelling put an itch in my brain and I needed to see it through. I was thankful for staying the course, as the ending proved satisfying (although she really made me work for it) and Carin’s romantic island adventures with the tasty Matias were quite the steamy diversion as well as a sweet delight for the daydreaming romantic in me. Sigh, I was totally enamored and besotted with the scrumptious Matias.