“[A] rare voice that is both relatable and unafraid to examine the complexities of her American identity.” —Reza Aslan, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth An Immigrant Love-Hate Story of What it Means to Be American You know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of … party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot (#FOMO)? That’s life—especially for an immigrant.
What happens when a shy, awkward Arab girl with a weird name and an unfortunate propensity toward facial hair is uprooted from her comfortable (albeit fascist-regimed) homeland of Iraq and thrust into the cold, alien town of Columbus, Ohio—with its Egg McMuffins, Barbie dolls, and kids playing doctor everywhere you turned?
This is Ayser Salman’s story. First comes Emigration, then Naturalization, and finally Assimilation—trying to fit in among her blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterparts, and always feeling left out. On her journey to Americanhood, Ayser sees more naked butts at pre-kindergarten daycare that she would like, breaks one of her parents’ rules (“Thou shalt not participate as an actor in the school musical where a male cast member rests his head in thy lap”), and other things good Muslim Arab girls are not supposed to do. And, after the 9/11 attacks, she experiences the isolation of being a Muslim in her own country. It takes hours of therapy, fifty-five rounds of electrolysis, and some ill-advised romantic dalliances for Ayser to grow into a modern Arab American woman who embraces her cultural differences.
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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The Muslim immigrant experience in the US is anything but funny. Yet, Ayser Salman relies on humor to express the trials and tribulations of the child of an Iraqi family, trying to “fit in,” and carving her identity as an American Muslim. Her creative use of footnotes is hilarious, as she navigates between the world her parents left behind and her new home. Warm and funny, this read is joyful and heartwarming.
What an enjoyable book! Mixed in with the humor is an excellent portrayal of the challenges faced by an immigrant. The fact that she is a Moslem plays almost as large a part in her difficulties; she feels so different from her classmates. As she adjusts, the reader is drawn to her spirit. One knows that somehow she will come out on top. Very inspirational.
I liked this book as it was well written and easy to read as it gave me lots of new information about the muslim faith.
A funny and honest memoir of growing up as in immigrant. It was a fascinating and easy read that kept you entertained and wanting to know what would happen next.
The Wrong End of the Table is an insightful and enjoyable look at one of the most contested and misunderstood minorities in America today: Muslims. Through her own life story, Ayser Salman uses her experiences to distill not just Islam, but also the impact religion and culture have on how we interact and understand the world around us. What emerges is that rare voice that is both relatable and unafraid to examine the complexities of her American identity — as a minority, an immigrant, and a woman.
I enjoyed reading of Ayser’s struggles to become an Arab Muslim in America. She approaches the subject with humor and candor.
When Ayser was only three years old her family moved from Baghdad, Iraq to Columbus, Ohio. So Ayser went along with them since as she said “legal emancipation from your parents isn’t an option in Iraq until the age of seventy-four, and even then only if you’re married.” At the age of three culture shock is not such a major event. Two years later they moved to Lexington, Kentucky where Ayser was frequently called “Ayser Eraser”. (Hey, a kid I knew was named “Horace Lanier” – Need I tell you what he was called?) Her family continued to move around for several years, with each locale providing further adaptation challenges.
Ayser writes of what it means to be an Arab and what it means to be an American. The transition from Iraqi Arab to American-Iraqi Arab often resulted in the feeling of being at the wrong end of the table. “You know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot?” Always trying to fit in yet always feeling left out.
And if life wasn’t hard enough, along came 9/11. She now feels isolated in her own country, wondering why people can’t recognize the difference between a terrorist and a practicing believer of Islam.
The chapter titles should be enough to get you to take a look – “Land of the Free, Home of the McMuffin”, “Sibling Rivalry, or: How to Stop Your Sister from Getting the Western Name”, “Iraqis Take Forever to Say Goodbye”, and “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom”.
As an adult she asks herself what she would tell her younger self. I loved her comment that “I would also tell her not to discount her time spent at the wrong end of the table, because sometimes you have to spend time at the wrong end in order to appreciate being at the right end.’
Do be sure to read her footnotes as they provide much of the candor – and are quite funny.
This was an easy, enjoyable read. There was a pivot away from the humorous tone when the author spoke about racism- deservedly so- and I appreciated what she shared about her experiences.
Very educational, allowing the reader who is not already aware of the hardships immigrants deal with once they have immigrated to the U.S., no matter what their skills and intelligent they are. It’s a bit long, but an interesting read.
I loved this book. I learned so much about what it is like to be a Muslim in America. I highly recommend it.
Was interesting until it started to get on a soapbox near the end.
I enjoyed the first half of the book. However, the author’s advance into her adult life became disillusioning, moved slowly and seemed more like a “poor me” tangent. It lacked cohesiveness and was a disappointment. I do not recommend this book.
This book captured my imagination until the very end when the author wrote ad nauseum about her email exchanges. The book would be excellent if these last chapters were deleted.
Irene Gordon
Learned a lot from reading this book about the Muslim beliefs. The author presented her thoughts in a humorous mode.
I couldn’t get through it. Repetitive, whining.
Love it. Such a refreshing view of America from an immigrant. We lots of different ways to be in love. Great telling of a good life as yet unfinished.
Linda’s Book Obsession Reviews “The Wrong End of the Table A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim American Woman Just Trying to Fit In” by Ayser Salman, Skyhorse Publishing, March 5, 2019
Ayser Salman, Author of “The Wrong End of the Table, A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab Woman Just Trying to Fit In” has written an entertaining and witty Memoir. Ayser Salman writes about her traditional and immigrant parents who left an oppressed life for freedom in America. As a little girl, Ayser had a difficult time adjusting to the environment and the other children in Columbus, Ohio. She always felt like an outcast. Her parents were very strict, and found it difficult to understand the modern ways of American life.
Ayser Salman writes honestly and shares how her parent’s cultural and traditional values differed in many ways from the expectations that Ayser felt in America. Ayser also writes how the politics in America, made her carefully rethink choices that she had. She candidly writes her dating experiences, and friendships. I found Asyer Salman’s experiences intriguing. I would recommend this for readers who enjoy memoirs. I received an ARC from NetGalley for my honest review.