Mother and daughter tied together by shame and secrecy, love and hate.I wait by the bed. I move into her line of vision and it’s as though we’re watching one another, my mother and me; two women – trapped. Today has been a long time coming. Irene sits at her mother’s side waiting for the right moment, for the point at which she will know she is doing the right thing by Rose.Rose was Irene’s … thing by Rose.
Rose was Irene’s little sister, an unwanted embarrassment to their mother Lilian but a treasure to Irene. Rose died thirty years ago, when she was eight, and nobody has talked about the circumstances of her death since. But Irene knows what she saw. Over the course of 24 hours their moving and tragic story is revealed – a story of love and duty, betrayal and loss – as Irene rediscovers the past and finds hope for the future.
“…A book that is both powerful and moving, exquisitely penetrating. I am drawn in, empathising so intensely with Irene that I feel every twinge of her frustration, resentment, utter weariness and abiding love.” Thorne Moore
“Judith Barrow’s greatest strength is her understanding of her characters and the times in which they live; The Memory is a poignant tale of love and hate in which you will feel every emotion experienced by Irene.” Terry Tyler
The new novel from the bestselling author of the Howarth family saga
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Irene is her mother’s caretaker and over a twenty-four period, she revisits the past, allowing long-buried shameful secrets to be brought to light. Years ago, when her sister, Rose, was brought into the world, Irene was overjoyed. It didn’t matter to her Rose had Down Syndrome, she loved and took care of her as if Rose was her own daughter. Her mother, on the other hand, rejected Rose and would have nothing to do with her. Rose’s death, shrouded in mystery even after all these years, bind Irene to her mother. As Irene remembers the past and tries to reconcile it with the present and future, she wonders if her memory is flawed or does the answer lie with her own mother?
The Memory is an emotional story about mothers and daughters, love and loss, raising a special needs child, and the barren canyon of emotions that lay hidden behind grief. The plot is overflowing with feeling as Irene comes to grips with the past. I cried so many times while reading, I needed two boxes of tissues. Judith Barrow framed the story as a 24-hour period but I tend to disagree as there were plenty of flashbacks and flashforwards. I personally couldn’t relate to the characters, but I could relate to being the daughter of a mother with high expectations. The tension is palpable throughout the story, so it took me awhile to read it. The writing is exquisite, the pacing perfect, and the characterizations well-developed. If you’re a fan of family-life sagas, you’ll love The Memory. Fans of Rebecca Wells, this is a must-read.
Disclaimer: I received a copy from the author in the hopes I’d review it.
My Rating: 4.5 stars
I liked the structure of this book a lot – it’s written in the first person, and each chapter starts with a small section in the present day (2002), with Irene, the main character, taking care of her mother, who has dementia. Then it goes back in time, starting in 1963 when she was a child, and her sister, Rose, who has Down’s Syndrome, is born. I really loved the first third, which detailed Irene’s love for her sister (quite beautiful) and the difficulties within the family, with her cold, brusque mother, delightful father and the grandmother she adored. I was completely absorbed. The rest of the story pivots around a shocking event that takes place at around 40%.
The book slowed down for me a little during the middle section, which was about Irene’s growing up and the early part of her marriage to Sam, and I found the family’s lives rather depressing (which is a bit rich coming from someone who writes about dystopian horrors, but I find the end of the world as we know it less depressing than a humdrum life. I know, I’m weird). In the final third developments became much more interesting, and I was engrossed once more. I would have liked a little more in the way of plot, but that’s just personal taste, not a criticism; this is a character rather than a plot-driven book.
The strongest aspect of the latter part of the book was the initial development of the mother’s dementia; I have experience of this with my late mother, and, although the circumstances were very different, it certainly struck a chord, with one particular episode bringing tears to my eyes.
My favourite characters were Irene’s father and her husband, Sam, who I thought got a bit of a raw deal and put up with too much (I do hope he had more fun than he admitted to Irene, during a time when circumstances forced them apart). I can’t say I liked Irene, who put her own obsession with the past before his happiness, and whose outlook often seemed rather narrow (I kept wanting to tell her to lighten up, and do something a bit crazy!), but I appreciated how deeply and lastingly she was affected by the aforementioned shocking event, and she’s a thoroughly three-dimensional character.
The other star of the book is the time and place—the working class northern England of the 1960s and 70s, which was as starkly and realistically portrayed as any TV kitchen sink drama.
The ending brings a most surprising twist directly related to the events of Irene’s earlier years, which filled me with regret on her behalf. If you enjoy emotional family dramas that dig deep into the psyche, you will love this book, with its vivid descriptions of familial conflict, loss and the day to day difficulties of caring for a person with dementia.
I have been a fan of Judith Barrow’s work for a long time so bought The Memory, her new release, the moment it was available. I also chose it as the book of the month for my reading group because it would ensure I read it in a timely fashion.
I have struggled to read much at this time and I was concerned how I’d manage with what I anticipated would be a difficult subject matter but I need not have worried. I found the way this was written, with short chapters broken up consistently into two time periods, was ideal. The length of chapter meant I wasn’t put off starting another one and in fact I found I read far more as I was keen to know what would come next in this compelling story.
The first part of each chapter was the story told over a day or so in 2002 and consisted of the intensely grim life that Irene was living with her mother. The second part started in 1963 and was the story of Irene’s life from when she was eight when Rose, her sister, arrived in it. Her love for Rose was absolute and moulded the rest of her life. This second storyline was also very much a love story as Irene meets a terribly patient Sam.
Barrow’s writing is, as always, superb. Her attention to detail transports you so far into the story you could be in the room with Irene and her mother, even if you’d rather not be present at times. Her characters are terrific and descriptions vivid.
This book was thoroughly discussed at my reading group (held via Zoom) and the views of all were broadly along the same lines although many wished Irene had not given up on so many of her own dreams because of the responsibility she felt towards others. But of course these were different times.
Highly recommended, this is an excellent, thoughtfully written read I’d recommend to all who enjoy realistic, well told tales of family life.