Each day we face a barrage of images and messages from society and the media telling us who, what, and how we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only look perfect and lead perfect lives, we’d no longer feel inadequate. So most of us perform, please, and perfect, all the while thinking, What if I can’t keep all of these balls in the air? Why isn’t everyone else working harder and … living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or give up? When can I stop proving myself?
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, PhD, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she’s learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living–a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.
In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough, and to go to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.
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Live in your essence, not your identity. This book is filled with home truths and timeless wisdom. For some readers, it will e life-affirming. For some, it could be life-changing.
A great book for anyone who wants to live a wholehearted life and love wholeheartedly. The author’s style of writing is easy to read and understand.
I do not think I can adequately express how much I gained from reading this book. I’ve seen a good handful of Brené’s interviews and TED talks and read one other of her books, but this is my favorite. Of course I’ll read other books, but I just learned so much from this one, about myself, about how to live a fuller life, and what my soul has been missing. This book is easily ranking as a favorite and I’m sure I’ll return to it many times in the future.
Brené Brown has a easy conversational style that invites the reader to join her in learning the lessons she has uncovered through living her life “Wholeheartedly.” The author’s comfort level in sharing her lessons and vulnerabilities allows the reader to open up those possibilities within themselves. The Gift of Imperfection brings the reader to the understanding that none of us are perfect and that allowing ourselves to embrace our imperfections will allow us to start living from our hearts and not from the expectations we place upon ourselves. She gives us the gift of self-acceptance.
Love creates balance and reduces the distance between higher thought and coherent action. By acting with love towards others, the cosmos, and existence, we create coherence in our being.
Inspiring book!
Brene Brown’s research adds wisdom and guidance in a world often filled with anxiety ,stress and anger. The author reminds us choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance .We have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play ,and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self -worth.The author quotes Anne Lamont who tells us Laughter is a bubbly ,effervescent form of holiness Amen!The author shares with us that God lives within us , not above us and Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful source of connection with God.The author gives us wonderful instructions on how to fly bravely with insight and compassion when we find ourselves stuck in a rut !
A great introduction to Brené Brown’s work. There’s a lot to unpack, so I’m afraid to say too much, but it really does help to look under the emotional hood.
Brené Brown has an easy way of exposing our human frailty in a way that helps you to not be offended but rather to say “yeah… me too!”
Her wisdom is practical and healing.
This is a wonderful book to help you accept yourself and grow.
Shame. I can relate to that heart-pounding, red-faced feeling. If only the earth beneath my feet would open and swallow me. Or I could turn invisible.
Brene Brown’s brilliant, and short, book about The Gifts of Imperfection resonated with me and gave me tools to deal with the shame my parents drilled into me. As an added bonus, it also gave me one more motivation for a character in a book I am writing.
Be brave enough to read this book.
Brené Brown says this is not a self-help/how-to book, but it certainly opened my eyes and heart to learning more about myself. Thank you.
A terrific book filled with wonderful insights and perspective. We all have self-limiting beliefs and doubts and this book is a fantastic tool to overcome them and feel confident and get the most out of your life. I wish I had read this book years ago and I’d recommend it to anyone.
Wonderful self help/psychology book on embracing who you are.
The first book I read from Brene Brown after watching her Ted Talk. She is amazing. One of my true heroes!
Unpopular opinion ahead:
This book just wasn’t for me. It seemed like a collection of common sense things one should do and to strive for them in order to be your true and authentic self. So with that in mind, I thought about giving it 3 stars because if I gave it 2 people would think I was some sort of soulless monster. Then I thought, wait a second, who cares what others will think…be true to yourself! So 2 it is.
Or maybe this book didn’t speak to me because I am perfect…at least that’s what my mother tells me.
I listened to the audiobook of The Gifts of Imperfection on a recent road trip, and found it affirming of many concepts I’d already figured out. However, it was neat to hear it described in a helpful, compact way. And the creativity/self-care portions inspired me to take up crocheting!
Who The Gifts of Imperfection is For: Everyone who’s ever felt as if they weren’t enough. So pretty much everyone on the planet.
Full review here: https://romanceuniversity.org/2019/06/04/book-review-the-gifts-of-imperfection/
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are is the third book that I’ve read by Brené Brown. I was not disappointed. This book offers as set of guideposts toward Wholehearted leaving, which involves “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness”. The guideposts include cultivating self-compassion, cultivating a resilient spirit, cultivating calm and stillness, and finding meaningful work.
She writes with a tone of wonderment of the discoveries that emerged from her research, and acknowledges that some of her findings were surprising or difficult for her to wrap her head around. She explains things well, clearly defining the concepts she’s writing about, and uses effective examples. She writes about her “2007 Breakdown Spiritual Awakening” and how it helped her to change perspective. She makes no attempt to hide her own fallibility, vulnerability, and imperfection.
Brown describes compassion as a relationship between equals. She explains that being able to set boundaries is important to effectively practice compassion, even though we may not tend to associate the two concepts. She adds that we should hold people accountable for their behaviour, and in doing so separate the person from the behaviour. She also writes about the importance of self-compassion, something particularly important for those of us struggling with mental illness.
In this book Brown talked a lot about authenticity, which comes from living Wholeheartedly. She described several elements in the choice to be authentic: becoming courageous enough to be imperfect; having compassion for the strengths and struggles all of us have; and nurturing the belonging that arises from believing we’re enough. She cautions that depression and anxiety may result when we trade in authenticity for safety. This really resonated for me, as safety has become something that I grasp onto as tightly as possible wherever I can find it.
Throughout the book the author made a number of statements that really stood out for me. She wrote that “when we don’t give ourselves permission to be free, we rarely tolerate that freedom in others.” Something particularly eye-opening for me was her observation that: “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” True that.
There were also findings from her research that were somewhat surprising to me. She found that spirituality (not necessarily religion) was a key component of resilience. I’ve never been a religious person, nor have I ever been particularly spiritual, but this is some food for thought. She also concluded that we can’t love others more than we love ourselves, and a sense of worthiness is essential for love and belonging.
Based on her research she constructed definitions for the key terms used in the book, definitions that go much deeper than a standard dictionary definition. A couple of examples:
Intuition: “our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason.”
Connection: “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
I really enjoyed this book. I have a bit of a pet peeve around arbitrary capitalization (e.g. “Wholehearted”), but aside from that I have no complaints. Another Brené Brown classic. If you’re not familiar with her, I encourage you to check out her TED Talks.
this book changed my life… truly! Brene Brown is amazing!
as a recovering perfectionist, this book gave me permission to accept my imperfections and the resulting freedom from fear