A ROMANTIC COMEDY
Sense of humor required
The ocean…October, outdoors, orange… All O’s that sneaky damn letter.
I need the O. Crave the O, even dream about the bastard.
My name is Olivia and this is my virgin diary. Yep, at the ripe age of 24 I’m single and O-less. And to top it all off, with a shiny cherry, I’m a first grade teacher.
Not much hope meeting Prince Charming in my …
Not much hope meeting Prince Charming in my workplace.
I live with my hyper Yorkie and wild imagination. And I despise the letter O.
Follow Olivia Olander in her wild and hysterical journey as she hunts down the elusive O.
She may hate the obscure O now, but Officer Oren O’Brien hasn’t lit up her world.
Will Olivia ever learn to love the O or be cursed with its lingering presence the rest of her life?
Find out in the virgin diaries.
more
Favorite Quotes:
“Dad even eventually got comfortable with buying feminine products and used auto parts to give me the birds and the bees talk… I cringed and I do believe my ovaries even sent Hail Marys to Jesus that day in the shop.”
“You keep moaning like your belly hurts, Ms. Olander like there’s a bad poop built up in you.”
“‘Headlights, Miss Olander.’ I pry my gaze away from the sexiest ass on the planet to see Kane with both his pointer fingers sprung out from his chest and his little eyebrows waggling at high speed.”
“I think I fell harder for you when I found out you fart louder than me.”
“Forgiveness is a funny creature. It takes courage to even step in the direction of it and even more strength to walk the path.”
My Review:
The book was off the charts delightful and naughty fun – and just so happens to be my favorite type of book to read. Minimal angst, lovable characters, highly amusing and clever humor, witty banter, a sweet love story, and lots of delicious steam. Nirvana! I barked, snorted, and laughed aloud so hard I had to stop reading to wipe my eyes. Olivia is a hot mess of awkward, nerdy, twenty something virgin and first-grade teacher who is, of course, most proud of her uncannily observant and naughty students. I thought I might need CPR while reading Chapter 12 when the main character was caught unawares during an embarrassing bout of flatulence in which her new crush witnessed her “ripping a world record fart.” The characters were endearing, smart, hilarious, and good to and for each other. I adored Olivia and Owen as a couple and their sweet and sexy blossoming romance made my heart sing. Ms. Bellus’s writing was crisp, observant, irreverent, insightful, and highly enjoyable. This was my virgin voyage with this author and I have but one word for her – more! I will be fangirling her hard.
One of THE funniest books I’ve read from HJ Bellus!! “Oooo”. M.G. this was so original and fun to read. I couldn’t put it down and I NEED more!! Hoping book 2 is out soon. I laughed and laughed and cried, then laughed. One of my favorite lines from this book is: “Oscar (the main character’s dad’s psycho dog) bares his teeth to me and I swear they’re stained a light pink. That bastard’s growling at me. He senses evil, Dad chimes. Old man has jokes. Go get your beer and let’s eat dinner.” This book is one of those books that you’ll never grow tired of reading over and over…
This was a pretty funny book. I admit to laughing out loud a few times. But seriously who really talks like that? Scout and Olivia talked like sailors, no mind as to who would hear them. Cussing in the 1st grade classroom, teacher lounge and things like that. Very immature for their age. I almost stopped reading about 15% in. Glad I kept reading though. The plot was good.
One of her best books. So funny and comical with the quips in the book. I laughed so hard in public, people were giving me weird stares.