Stepmother tells the story of Marianne Lile, who met a man, fell in love, got married, and arrived home from the honeymoon with a new label: stepmom. It was a role she initially embraced—but she quickly discovered she was alone in a difficult situation, with no handbook and no mentor. Here, Lile describes the complexities of the stepmom position, in a family and in the community, and shares her … shares her experience wearing a tag that is often misunderstood and weighed down by the numerous myths in society. Candid and poignant, Stepmother is a story of love and like, resentments and exasperation, resignation and hope—and a story, ultimately, of family.
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I respect authors who say what they mean and mean what they say, and that’s precisely what you get from straight-shooting Marianne Lile in STEPMOTHER: A MEMOIR; a book that doesn’t sugarcoat the realities and intricacies of a blended household, while deftly weaving humor into the colorful tapestry of family life. Rich and smooth, this book gives stepmotherhood a wise and authentic voice.
I picked up Stepmother based on a recommendation from a friend. It pulled me right in. It was a quick paced, easy read that I devoured in two days.
Only when I was partway through I realized I was reading a Diverse Book, something that I have pledged to read more of this year. It wasn’t diversity in terms of race, religion or sexual preference as I normally think of when I think diverse book. However, Marianne endured the stereotypes of being a stepmother and I realize blended families are another type of diversity. I am fortunate that I have been married over 20 years and both my parents and in-laws are also still together. However, once I expand my circle to include siblings, cousins, and close friends, I have lots of blended or shattered families in my life. I always knew they had their own set of difficulties but this book opened my eyes to all of the issues that they have to face on a daily basis.
Marianne wrote the book in a way that would appeal to stepmothers and non-stepmothers alike. Although it was from her point of view as the stepmother she truly emphasized with all the other people and showed their sides to the reader, particularly her husband and two stepchildren. But she also gave us an idea of what it must be like for all the extended families, her stepchildren’s mother, her biological child, and the community when a new family is created after a divorce.
Having read this book I will take a closer look at how I treat the blended families, divorced parents, single parents, and their children often standing on the edge of the soccer games. They deserve much more than a polite nod.
If you hesitate to read Stepmother: A Memoir (She Writes Press) by Marianne Lile because you’re not a stepmother or you don’t usually read memoirs, you could lose out on a warm and rewarding reading experience. Believe me, I fall into both camps and am glad I ventured into this wonderful story.
Stepmother is a poignant and tender story about a woman who says “I do” when she could’ve said, “I did what?” Her journey from being a representative, a.k.a. lobbyist, of a nurses’ association in Washington State to falling in love and marrying, Art, a state representative and immediately becoming stepmom to his two teenage children, Ashton and Katherine, is authentic and relatable.
Ms. Lile’s storytelling voice is smooth and engaging. I can almost hear her in my mind. While we can try to imagine what it must be like to be a stepmother, Ms. Lile invites us into her world and provides us with the God’s honest truth. She shares with us the many trials of managing a blended family—stepchildren, new baby, in-laws, and ex-wife—at the same time facing deep concerns about her own parents and siblings.
And if she didn’t have enough on her plate already, the broader community she’d moved into didn’t make the situation any easier. How she came to lobby for herself, as well as her new blended family, is epitomized in this moving story that, I believe, all women…and men…will benefit from reading.