Stefan has … fantasies. He knows chasing those fantasies is only going to end in disaster, but he can’t seem to stop his self-destructive spiral. He’s a transgender man struggling to come to terms with the intersection of his identity and his sexual fantasies as a submissive. He needs someone to take control before he loses it completely. Daz can take control. He can teach Stefan everything … Stefan everything there is to know about sex and submission, but for some reason, he can’t get inside Stefan’s head. Daz can stop Stefan’s self-destruction but not the fear that fuels it.
Stefan needs to know who he is before he can accept what he is. And it’s Yannis — Daz’s aromantic, asexual, stern, and sarcastic partner — who has the answer.
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Sex in C Major came close to the edge of even my comfort level, so thank you Matthew J. Metzger, for taking me on this journey and letting me live a small piece of Stefan’s life with him.
I blew through a range of emotions from shivers to shock, from hope to horror, and all the stuff in between. It’s been a long time since I’ve literally cringed and some of the cringe worthy stuff that Stefan puts himself through is close to overwhelming.
Stefan’s journey, battling so much self hatred and utter confusion, stems from his need to understand himself. Growing up feeling betrayed by his body and thrown out of his home by his verbally abusive mother, he’s now living in near poverty as he begins his transition process on his own.
He is overwhelmed by his sexual fantasies which confuse and frustrate him, and is enraged by his body’s response to stimulation of his female organs.
Stefan is having an impossible time figuring out how to get what he needs, and to feel okay about having it.
Stefan meets up with Daz who is willing to give him the relationship he craves. Daz provides the total power exchange Stefan has to have, but insists on limits to keep him safe. Daz can satisfy Stefan’s desire to be reduced to an object, a “sex-toy”, and give up complete control to his master; but that is only part of what Stefan needs. He’s having trouble both with coming to grips accepting his desires are okay, and navigating his tumultuous journey through his transition.
This is where the really interesting parts of the relationships in this story come into play.
Daz’s long time partner and live in boyfriend, Yannis, has led a very complicated life. Identifying as asexual, Yannis’ views on romance, sex, and love are incredibly interesting and explain the bond between Daz and Yannis in such a beautiful way. Yannis has affection and love to give to Daz alone, and Daz welcomes and requires it… from Yannis. When Daz reaches out to Stefan for affection he is brushed away, Stefan making it clear he is only able to relate to Daz in a sexual way.
There’s an interesting dichotomy in Daz’s character. He clearly derives great pleasure in providing support for his loved ones, whether that support is emotional or physical he willingly puts his own needs second. I found it bittersweet, the times when he did reach out to Stefan and was rebuked, Daz handled it well but it clearly hurt him. I felt like I got to know Yannis quite well through Stefan’s eyes, but I was left wanting to know a little bit more about Daz.
This is the first book by Matthew J. Metzger I’ve read, his descriptions of the rough sex, the self abuse, and the intricacies of the relationships completely enveloped me!
I was so invested in Stefan and could completely understand how he was feeling, to the point it just hurt my heart. I’ll definitely be looking to read more by Metzger.
Sex in C Major is one story that’s going to stay with me for a long time.