Find your voice, speak your truth, listen deeply—a guide to having more meaningful and mindful conversations through nonviolent communication We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic—relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive … needing to get defensive or go on the attack? In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and Nonviolent Communication, Oren Jay Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating.
The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to:
• Feel confident during conversation
• Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction
• Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say
• Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations
• Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions
“Unconscious patterns of communication create separation not only in our personal lives, they also perpetuate patterns of misunderstanding and violence that pervade our world. With clarity and great insight, Oren Jay Sofer offers teachings and practices that train us to speak and listen with presence, courage, and an open heart.” —Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge
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Oren Jay Sofer offers us a brilliant intertwining of focused presence and artful engagement. Our work, family, and any other relationships will benefit from his guidance.
Of all the advice literature on how to use language to communicate, this was the most inspirational.The writer seemed to speak directly to me in a way that was almost spiritual. Easy to read, it delves deep into the real meaning of words and their effect on people with whom we communicate. Excellent in every way.
I can’t say enough about this book! I am always reading a non fiction book and this is definitely up there with one of the best I have ever read. It contains information that every single person can benefit from. I see a lot of books being referred to as life- changing and this is definitely one of those books. Although you can not just read it once and put it aside. It contains information that I will be revisiting often. I took lots of notes. Most importantly is the need to practice what you have learned. I have just finished reading it once and have begun practicing. As the author states in the book, it does take some time until it comes naturally. I wish I had learned this information a long time ago instead of midway through my life. But, definitely better now than never. I highly recommend to everyone. If this book has fallen in your path, don’t hesitate to buy it. It is worth every minute that it takes to read. There is no fluff, in my opinion. It contains essential information from start to finish. Also, despite being such an invaluable source of information, it is not dry, boring , or difficult to read. It’s a true gem!
This tremendous book addresses one of the biggest challenges in any relationship: how to combine heart with strength, compassion with assertiveness. Written with great warmth and clarity, it brings together well-researched principles, effective tools and suggestions, powerful experiential practices, and many examples. It is down-to-earth and completely accessible while also being so deep, even profound. If I had just one book to recommend about interpersonal communication, it would be this one.
Unconscious patterns of communication create separation not only in our personal lives, they also perpetuate patterns of misunderstanding and violence that pervade our world. With clarity and great insight, Oren Jay Sofer offers teachings and practices that train us to speak and listen with presence, courage, and an open heart.
Full of practical exercises that develop powerful communication and mindfulness skills, this timely and engaging book shows us how caring, curiosity, and connection can transform people’s lives, even in the face of aggression.
By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have learned to operate through such deeply engrained patterns of language and behavior that virtually all of our communication involves projection, assumption, and bias. No wonder we often feel so cut off and all alone! Mr. Sofer deftly weaves together his mindfulness practice and principles of Nonviolent Communication to help us learn how to find one another again. This is a powerful guidebook to thinking, speaking, and listening with authenticity and care. Bravo!
Oren Jay Sofer’s first book, Say What You Mean, is a helpful guide for speaking wisely and with love. It offers terrific tools and understandings that are critical to the art of communicating clearly and from the heart.
Meeting the enormous challenges of living in these times calls for an integration of inner practices of mindfulness with outer practices of communicating with honesty, vulnerability, strength, care, and empathy. Oren shows us a way to do just that.
Words have tremendous power — both to harm, and to heal. In Say What You Mean, Oren shares a 3-part process for communicating with mindfulness, clarity, and compassion, and creating more connection and understanding in our relationships. In these times of turbulence and conflict, we need this more than ever before.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book and all Oren’s offering. Transformative!