From New York Times bestselling author Courtney Cole comes “a raw, powerful, heart-wrenching read” (Robyn Harding, international bestselling author of The Party) about a son’s heroin addiction and its harrowing effects on both him and his mother, reminiscent of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Beautiful Boy. There comes a time when offering your life for your child’s doesn’t work, when … offering your life for your child’s doesn’t work, when you realize that it’ll never be enough.
The cold needle in his warm vein was a welcome comfort to my son at first. But then it became the monster that kept us apart.
Heroin lied, and my son believed. It took him to a world where the last year didn’t happen, to a place where his father was still alive. What Beck didn’t understand was that it couldn’t bring his father back from the dead. It couldn’t take away his pain, not permanently.
You think it can’t happen to you, that your kids, your family, will never be in this situation.
I thought that too. But you’re wrong.
Step into our world, and see for yourself.
Watch my golden boy become a slave to this raging epidemic. Watch me try and save him.
Drug addiction comes with a price.
Trust me, you’re not equipped to pay it.
Don’t miss this heartwrenching, evocative, yet hopeful novel–“it will rip your heart out but then leave you knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel” (Nikki Sixx, New York Times bestselling author of The Heroin Diaries).
more
Courtney writes poignant and emotionally driven stories that prove again and again why she’s the best at what she does.
From its visceral opening scene to the satisfying final twist, this story held me in its thrall. Courtney Cole’s first-hand experiences make Saving Beck a raw, powerful, heart-wrenching read.
Saving Beck is a raw, powerful book about addiction. It’s tough to read in parts because it’s written so realistically.
Beck is a high school senior in what was a perfect life – he was a football star, going steady with a cheerleader and had gotten a football scholarship to Notre Dame. He got along well with this parents and his younger brother and sister. It all changed in an instant – coming back from a college tour with his dad, there is a car accident and his dad is killed. His mom, Natalie goes into such deep grief that she can no longer take care of her kids, buy groceries, pay bills so it all falls on Beck who is trying to deal with the fact that he feels to blame for his dad’s death. So first it’s a couple of Xanax and some marijuana to dull his pain. His relationship with his mom, girlfriend and siblings begins to deteriorate until one day, in anger, he leaves the house and meets a friend and does heroin for the first time. His life begins a down ward spiral where the drug is the only thing he cares about. As the novel begins, his mother finds him passed out on her front porch after he has been missing for two months.
This novel is told in alternating chapters by Natalie and by Beck. Natalie gives a lot of the back story and how she coped with her husband’s death. She has spent two months trying to find Beck and prays that he will live through this overdose. Beck’s chapters happen when he is in a coma. He doesn’t remember why he is in the hospital but as his memories start to return, a lot of information comes to light about his last two months and his day to day life searching for more drugs.
This was a book that will stay with me a long time. Addiction can affect anyone from any walk of life.
Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.
This is such a well-written tale of the effects of drug addiction on a family that it is almost non-fiction. The details are horrifyingly realistic. The characters are described in such a way that you leap into their bodies and feel the way they feel. Natalie is a very sympathetic character to me, having lost her husband in a horrible car accident and now losing her son Beck to drug addiction. But she is also that mother you love to hate because of her dereliction of duty just when her children need her. The story is not for everyone since so many have been affected by the opioid crisis and may not be able to read the realistic details of this novel without getting depressed. It is not meant to be a depressing novel; it is instead the story of a regular family going through a terrible crisis and how they come out on the other end. I highly recommend this book for those who want to read a good book that is so real in its details that it puts you right there, in the hospital room, in the alleys and in the bedroom. What a gut-wrenching and heart-touching story!
Disclaimer: Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy o this book from the publisher and Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Yesterday I was looking through my bookshelves, needing something different for my reading palate. I came across a copy of Saving Beck by Courtney Cole that I had won in a Goodreads giveaway and completely forgot about. As I was sitting there reading the prologue, with my heart lodged in my throat and tears in my eyes, I decided to continue on with this story. I’m not even kidding when I say, I sat on the floor in front of my bookshelf for two and a half hours completely consumed and unable to let go of this heart wrenching story. Courtney Cole gave me exactly what I was searching for. Unfiltered Honesty.
Now here I sit, in front of my computer, trying to come up with the words to tell you all how much this novel has invaded my every thought and feeling. It’s a difficult task to put into words how much another’s story can mean to a single person, especially when that story is so unbelievably raw and honest. Courtney Cole shows with this story, the other side of the world that we aren’t usually given a glimpse of in literature. The world isn’t always sunflowers and unicorns. Just beyond the fence of fiction, there’s a dark reality that has affected a great majority of the world’s population. That dark reality is addiction.
Saving Beck is the story of a family’s journey through this dark reality and how quickly popping two pills can soon lead to an addiction to heroin. This is a story about a mother’s fight through depression after losing her husband in a car accident, in order to save her son from the downward spiral on the wrong path he’s decided to walk.It’s also a story about one teenage son’s need to erase the heartache, the guilt, and the overwhelming anxiety he feels when he thinks back to the accident that claimed his father’s life, the same accident that he caused.
I’m going to lay it all out on the table and say, there wasn’t a moment in this book that didn’t have me wanting to break down and sob like a newborn baby. My heart was completely crushed. Courtney Cole puts it all on the table with this devastating tale. So with that being said, If drug addiction is a trigger for you, I highly recommend you go into this one with your eyes wide open and your heart prepared.
The most important task we are given in life, is to be kind and watch over one another. I’ve always lived my life willing to reach out and offer a helping hand to anyone in need. But in all honesty sometimes I wonder if my generosity is being taken for granted. If my help is going towards something else rather than what it is intended for. My mama always says I’m soft hearted and often at times I’ve been told to harden my heart a little. I never understood what that meant until I flipped to the last page of Saving Beck. I truly understand what it means to have a soft heart just by feeling all the pain that Courtney Cole placed in this story. Even though this story resolves into a happy ending, my heart is crushed for those that haven’t had the happiest of endings.
Overall, my intention for this review is too leave spoilers out but also warn those that find this kind of material triggering. If anyone’s suffered through depression you’ll find these characters are going to be easily relatable and you’ll find the alarming truth of how easy it can be for those that fell under depression to jump on the easy track of addiction. Beck’s story completely broke my heart while Natalie’s shattered the fragile pieces. This may sound overly dramatic but in all honesty, I’ll never be the same after reading Saving Beck. This powerful story dug its way into my heart and into my head. I highly recommend this one to everyone looking for a little inspiration and hope that there is light at the end of the dark abyss.
-Alecia @ The Staircase Reader
This book is gritty and and raw, and there is a lot of cursing. It is also a story of hope, of family, and new beginnings. I have no other words for this book than to just say that everyone should read it.
Also, make sure to read the Author’s Note. Thank you, Courtney Cole, for being so honest and real.
WOW. I generally avoid books that I know will make me cry but something about the description for Saving Beck caught my interest. The story told from the point of view alternating between Beck and his mom was such a great form for this type of story. Life is hard and this book truly demonstrates how badly we need each other and need to communicate openly and honestly with those we love. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves to read. I would also recommend this book to parents and students and classroom teachers. This would be a great book for group discussions and classroom literature circles (for older students.)
There are so many aspects of this story that i really liked. Beck and his relationship with Angel was another aspect of this story that I think really makes this story work. The end was perfect.
Thank you Courtney Cole for sharing your family’s story with us. Loved this book.
Saving Beck is a poignant and powerful story of loss, grief, coping with addiction, and the dynamics of a family attempting to survive some of the worst experiences a human can experience. Courtney Cole takes her readers through the depths of hell while relaying this harrowing tale of addiction from both the side of a mother trying to save her son and the son falling into the abyss of the horrific disease.
Every moment of Saving Beck was gut-wrenching, both as we were looking at Beck through his mother’s eyes and while we were experiencing Beck’s descent into heroin addiction through his own thoughts. I felt as if I had personally experienced the both Natalie and Beck’s pain in excruciating relief. The raw emotions captured by Ms. Cole in this book were wholly captivating and accentuated by her personal experiences with her son’s addiction.
While Saving Beck is a fictional account of addiction, the very real threads of Ms. Cole’s story bled through the pages. There were moments when it was hard to keep reading because the horrors on the page felt too real, too terrifying to willingly face. But, I couldn’t stop it would have been a disservice to the author, her son, to families everywhere affected by addiction, and addicts themselves. The personal aspect of Saving Beck is what made it so painful to read and also what made it such a standout book amongst a sea of books written from research rather than experience.
The format of this book was fascinating. The back and forth between the past and present as Beck and Natalie were in the fight of his life and recounted the millions of little moments that led them to crash headlong into his mortality made the story a whirlwind of emotion and pain, as we experienced so many traumatic moments in such a short period. In the twenty-four hours the book covered, we lived through the most agonizing year of the Kingsley family’s life, and I felt every second of that year as if I’d been a part of it.
Courtney Cole has put her heart and soul down in ink and paper with Saving Beck. Though she has written several novels across different genres, this is her best work to date. She captured more grief, misery, and hope in these pages than I have felt reading in a long time. I am so thankful for her decision to convey this story and share her struggles with her son with the world, it can’t have been easy, but it was a story that needed to be told.
Saving Beck by Courtney Cole may be one of the most difficult books you read this year — especially if you’re the parent, family member or friend of someone you love struggling with addiction.
Beckitt (Beck) Kingsley is a model son and student. He’s a star high school football player being scouted by major colleges, and he loves a wonderful girl. His father, Matt, and his mother, Natalie, along with his two younger siblings are one of those families that seemingly have everything — love for each other, a comfortable home, good friends.
One night, a car accident changes all that—Matt is killed and Beck (the driver of the vehicle), barely survives. Beck’s mother, Natalie, goes into a deep depression and it’s upon Beck’s shoulders to care for his siblings and the household. It all becomes too much — grief over his father, coupled with anger and fright at his mother’s incapacity to function. Beck starts stealing Natalie’s medication. From there it’s onto other drugs, numbing his grief and pain. Soon, Beck needs something stronger and is on the streets buying heroin from dealers. He disappears for days, weeks—until one night Beck shows up back at home, in the throes of an overdose that leaves him convulsing at the front door as his mother rushes to get help for her son. It’s this frightening scene that opens Saving Beck.
Told in alternating POV’s that are primarily flashbacks, the author, Cole, describes in horrific and sad detail the events that lead to Beck in an ICU, fighting for his life. Saving Beck is well written and any reader will recognize early on that this story is, in fact, being told from experience—an author’s note From Courtney Cole confirms that her son is a recovering addict.
I recommend Courtney Cole’s Saving Beck for anyone, family or friend, who needs to be reassured that there is hope for the addicted, that one must never give up—be it the addict or their loved ones.
Four Stars
This is one of those books that’s almost impossible to review. It’s poignant making it difficult to say anything negative without coming across a heartless. Luckily I don’t feel like I have any true negative feelings toward this book, except for dang-it, I don’t like to cry when I read, haha.
This is one of those book that makes you think: Would this be me? Would I become this? Would I react like this? It makes you wonder how deep pain can go and how far are you willing to let it burrow into your soul. What are you willing to do to make the pain stop? How would you grieve? This book is a good reminder to all of us that it doesn’t matter how strong you are. It’s not about being weak. It’s not about the bonds that you have with family and friends. Anxiety doesn’t care. Depression doesn’t care. Addiction doesn’t care. They can take anyone, anywhere, anytime, and once you’re wrapped in their arms escape is a matter of life or death.
This is a book that comes from the heart and soul of the author. She is able to create such a realistic story because she has lived this truth, the truth of a child with an addiction. It’s hard to imagine the pain and fear that a parent goes through watching their child killing themselves in the hopes of stopping their pain and knowing that the child has to make the decision to live on their own, that we as the parent can not force them. Ms. Cole paints it vividly and heartbreakingly. Her pain and the pain of her child flow off the page and straight into your heart. You will feel in some minuscule way that you walked beside Beckett and Natalie, that you suffered with them. It’s in the way Ms. Cole describes the small things that bring the book to life. The number of times Natalie paces the hospital waiting room, the blend between reality and hallucination while Beckett struggles through addiction and sobriety. The desperate beleif that ‘your’ child isn’t falling apart, that everyone is is just making things up. The pain…for me it always comes back to the pain. It is in every corner of this book, even when there is happiness, the pain, regret, fear, it lingers.
Saving Beck is a reminder that life is fragile and it only takes one moment to change it all. What will we do with our moments? How will we react to them and to others? How do we change the current environment the has allowed opioid addiction to become an epidemic? How will YOU look at the world differently now that Saving Beck has given you a small look into addition and the toll it takes on the addicted and their family. What is your truth and how willing are you to be honest about it?
Saving Beck is not a light read. It is emotional from the moment you start the dedication to well long after you close the back cover. It’s a book that will leave a little of it’s pain in your heart, but I promise you that you need it there. You need to see, to feel, to begin to understand so that when all is said and done maybe we can make a difference.
~ HAPPY (well….anyway) READING ~
Speechless. That is how I was finishing this book. Courtney delivered a raw, honest story about addiction and what it can do with a family. It’s a book you’ll be thinking about for years to come. Loosely based in her son’s war against drugs, you can feel the truth behind those words. It broke my heart, but at the same time, I felt like part of the family and fighting with them for everything. I cried, I sobbed, and I’m another person after reading it. Days after finishing it, sometimes I’m trying to discovery if there was a reason for all that happened. Is there a culprit? More than one? Was everyone a victim? Read the book, you’ll not regret it.
In her most compelling work to date, Courtney Cole lays open the soul of addiction with such compassionate precision it will take your breath, break your heart, and restore your hope in the strength and resilience of the human spirit.
Oof. This was a tough read.
I mean, it was a compelling read, don’t get me wrong. I read it voraciously and quickly. It was well written, and flowed smoothly between events occurring in the present, and events that occurred in the past. It was interesting – but heart-wrenching. I felt some things like a punch to the gut. As a mom, this story completely shattered my heart. As a reader, I could not put the book down.
It’s definitely reminiscent of Jodi Picoult in that “ripped from the headlines” sort of way, but also a little bit like Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo. That is, there are spiritual themes running through the course of this book. I didn’t think it was too much. I thought it was very realistic actually and honestly – the source for all the tears I shed while reading.
In all, this is an incredibly emotional ride. It’s a little bit dark, like it wants to be depressing, but there are so many beacons of hope throughout that it never completely crosses into that territory. Still, a tough read, but 100% worth it!
With addiction being so pressing an issue for so many people today, Saving Beck is a must-read cautionary tale. It will rip your heart out but then leave you knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
” Tomorrow is the first day of forever. ” I´m shattered in pieces, gutted by this mind-blowing story.
Saving Beck by Courtney Cole is a book that´ll stay with you. I read it a few days ago and can´t get the story out of my head. Beck and Natalie don´t want to go, they stubbornly stay – and they´re welcome to.
Meet the Kingsley family. Natalie and the kid´s world imploded the day their husband and father died in a car crash. Nothing is ok anymore, nothing.
She drowns in depression and despair and her son is eaten by guilt. Every one mourns in his own way. And Beck chooses the worst kind of mourning – numbing himself with drugs. In a short span of time he goes from golden child to heavily addicted.
Saving Beck is raw and gritty and gutted me to the core. Natalie and Beck were in a rollercoaster of emotions, and I was with them. I started reading and was captivated from the beginning. The story sucked me in , whirled me around and then spit me out. At times it was hard to read about the pain and hurt the main characters had to endure. Addiction is a monster that destroys everything in his wake, not only the addict himself, his family too.
Favorite Quote: ” Doing drugs is easy. Doing life is hard. And sometimes, we have to hide from it the best way we can.” – Angel to Beck.
Saving Beck is a heart wrenching, mind-blowing story that held my emotions hostage . If you´ll read only one book this year, let it be Saving Beck. It´ll change you, I promise.
I highly recommend Saving Beck and wish I could give more than 5 stars.
If there was one important book that you read this year I would have to recommend this one. When I signed up for the blog tour of this book I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I saw that the author was Courtney Cole and immediately jumped on the opportunity. Little did I know that this book was going to be heartbreaking, beautiful, and above all else important.
Natalie has had the worst year of her life. Every worst possible scenario has happened and I’m going to be straight with you, she does not handle it well. But that is real life isn’t it? Not everyone can take tragedy in stride. Not everyone can take a blow and carry on with their life. Not everyone can look at death and wake up and keep their life going. Kids or no kids. Natalie is human and that is where Courtney Cole really did an amazing job. Courtney created a flawed HUMAN character. We all hope that when we look tragedy in the face we will be strong, strong for the people around us, and strong for ourselves. What happens when you aren’t that person? What happens when there are real hard consequences for your actions? Natalie finds out. Courtney Cole created a mom that is real, she created a character that at one moment we feel for and the next we are mad at. This is life and Courtney showed us the hard part of it.
I went into this book thinking it was Natalie’s story and I was wrong. This book is about Beck. It’s about his journey and the choices that he makes. Beck was the son that every mom dreams of. He gets good grades, he’s popular, and has great plans for his future. That all changes when tragedy strikes his family and he must step up and take care of the family Natalie’s depression is making her leave behind. The resentment builds and before we know it Beck is giving up everything he once cared about. Giving it all up the chase the next high. The next high that is going to numb the pain. Beck’s character is a complicated one. His chapters are definitely hard to read. Courtney Cole gives us an inside look into the ugliness of addiction. Beck shows us how much of your life, soul, and body you give over to your addictions.
The above quote is from the author’s note at the end of the book. The author’s note is just as important as the book. I don’t usually read the author’s note but this time I felt like I needed to. Courtney Cole has her own experience with addiction in her family and you can tell. Courtney’s writing is fluid, heart wrenching, and real. You can feel a piece of her soul in this book, it comes out with every line you read. The only thing I didn’t really like was the faith in this book but that is just my own personal choice. I was able to read it because Courtney presented it in a way that shows you this is how some people grieve. While I don’t personally believe in anything it was heartbreaking reading Natalie beg and plead with God for her son. It was believable. I loved the way this book was written. We got POV’s from both Beck and Natalie and we saw before, during, and after the drug addiction. I really enjoyed this book and hope that the people who read this book and have gone through a family members addiction or their own really connects with this book and knows that they are not alone.
Life is never perfect, no matter how hard you try to achieve balance. Adding a traumatic event to the mix, and life can unravel in the most unexpected of ways. From the outside – Natalie seemed to have it all. Until one fateful night changed the course of her family’s life in ways none of them could have imagined.
Natalie was a typical suburban mother raising three children while happily married. Now tragedy has riddled their home in the most unimaginable ways. Deeply rooted in grief, Natalie is no longer present in the daily lives of her family. The responsibilities of the home are resting on the shoulders of Natalie’s oldest child…..Beckitt. Getting the younger siblings ready for school, making sure they are fed, and putting them to bed at night has all become the daily routine for a young man that should be thinking about college. What no one realizes is just how precarious this situation actually is headed.
Beck is harboring his own secrets. At some point, the teen begins to require help coping with the daily demands at home. That help comes in the form of marijuana and prescription drugs. Bit by bit the temporary relief that Beck feels from these forms of comfort quickly transform into an addiction. As his life spirals out of control, Beck begins to withdraw from the things that have brought him so much joy in life. No one is immune from Beck’s spiral into another life.
With pain and depression overtaking her own life, Natalie fails to notice how desperate things have become with Beck. As family and friends point out the possibilities of something major occurring with Beck, Natalie brushes off the suggestions. A crisis that spirals to a point of hopelessness in this sea of pain and turmoil. Now that Natalie realizes the depth of Beck’s circumstance, the damage is far beyond a simple hug or phone call. How can Natalie help Beck without losing herself in the process??
First let me start by saying you NEED this book in your collection!! Courtney Cole has written a poignant tale of how the nation’s opiate crisis affects each member of a family. Told from the parent and addicts perspectives, this novel will lead readers on a painful and necessary look into the devastation that addiction has on each person in a family.
While Cole has been very vocal about her son’s own struggle with addiction and the toll it takes on a family, the author dives into the trauma of this fictitious family head on. While so many families find themselves in similar situations, how they handle the toll of addiction varies from person to person. As I read this novel, I couldn’t help feeling so much emotion for the characters. The destruction evident with each turn of the page.
Awareness often seems like a mute point when dealing with addition. After all the ‘just say no’ campaign no longer seems to work in this climate. Cole gives readers the gritty realistic views of just how hard it is to overcome a disease that is fueled by the accessibility of the drugs that lead this ever increasing epidemic.
This novel is brutally honest. In fact – it’s the most realistic glimpse into the darkness that I have probably ever read to date. The emotions…..well, there were times where I felt a tear run down my face more than I could have anticipated. The realism of a disease that grips so many detailed with each turn of the page. Saving Beck is definitely one book that will restore your belief in faith, hope, and the journey of unending love.
Saving Beck is a heart wrenching and eye opening story about addiction and a mothers unwavering love for her son. This book shows how addiction does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone, no one sets out to become an addict but drugs are a demon that take over and demand to be fed. This book is based on Courtney’s experience with her own son and his battle with addiction, the story is raw, emotional and it gutted me at times but I admire her strength and courage to put this story out there. Courtney Cole is a master of her craft and this book is one of her best.
After the loss of his father Beck blames himself, his mother lost in her grief and can’t get out of bed. Beck steps up to the plate and takes care of the house and his siblings, but the panic attacks and the responsibilities are too much. He started sneaking his mothers Xanax, then smoking weed and that’s where it begins. This story is written in both Natalie (Beck’s mom) and Beck’s point of view, I really enjoyed both perspectives as the story unfolded. Like all of Mrs. Cole’s books it is beautifully written and will take you on an emotional roller coaster. As a mother I cried for Natalie and my heart broke for Beck a great kid from a great family, everything a mother could ask for, he never realized that he was selling his soul to the devil until it was too late, he was in too deep. As heartbreaking as this story is it is also one of hope. With the growing drug epidemic in this country this book is a must read.
I highly recommend this book and be sure to read the Epilogue.
Saving Beck by Courtney Cole is an emotionally gripping tale about love, loss, addiction and ultimately hope. This story has captivated my whole body, heart and soul. It has been a few days and yet I am still at a loss for words and emotionally drained because this story is heart-wrenchingly raw.
Courtney Cole has graciously opened herself up by sharing something so personal to her and her family. I must commend the author for her strength to do so and thank her for sharing. This is not only a story about Beck’s journey to recovery, but a story that will inspire others and show them that there is always HOPE, even in their darkest days.
Addiction is real and the ugly truth of it is that many people sink so far into their addiction that they don’t remember who they were before. This story gives me hope for my cousin who has struggled with addiction for so many years. After so many relapses I have lost hope, but this story has opened my eyes up and made me realize that all hope is not lost.
Saving Beck is a story that every reader needs to experience whether you know someone who has struggled with addiction or not. It is one of those stories that will expose you to heartache and hope…