I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should’ve left…I didn’t. I didn’t jump out. I didn’t get embarrassed.I relaxed.And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If … slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could’ve stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
** Standalone full-length novel, Mature YA themes
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4,5 stars
I reread the epilogue three times. Yes. I did. Not because I didn’t understand, but because of the intensity of it. The book takes place in the senior year and shows the different ways of suffering with the loss of a loved one. I know that I was glued to the book and only let it go because I had to. RYAN’S BED was different than I imagined and I have a weakness for books like this. Especially when the author is able to capture the real suffering of a person who has lost someone, making the reader feel the same.
The book is narrated by Mackenzie, a girl who had just moved to a new city with her parents, her twin sister, and her younger brother. Without even giving time to us feel the story the author already make us emotional, since a day before turning 18, Willow, the twin sister of Mac, dies. With their parents running to sort things out, Mackenzie and her brother are taken to the house of a co-worker of their father, totally unknown to them. Mac was going to sleep in their daughter’s room, but by a distraction – or fate – she ends up going into the wrong room and lying on Ryan’s bed.
This is about loss and how people are affected by it. How each acts on it. But the focus is on the heroine. We see the sorrow, sadness, the depression; all through the eyes of Mackenzie.
I don’t have much to say. The epilogue has changed everything for me and deserves every possible star by the depth of the theme. By the care the author had to maintain the suffering of Mac looking so real, without softening or hiding it. It is what it is. And despite being “just” a story in a book, it seemed too real to me. Tijan, you wanted to make your readers stop to think about it. And you did it. I can not stop thinking about this story and how starling it was. It was well written and totally worth the reading.
The author’s text flows though the pages, it’s natural. It’s nice to read. The author has created a heroine we love right on the first page. The connection to her was instantaneous. I already wanted to cry when I had just begun to read! RYAN’S BED has become my favorite book by Tijan. I think, even though it’s the beginning of the year, I can tell for sure this is on my 2018 favorites.
I highly recommend it a million times!
MacKenzie’s twin sister dies. Mac can only find comfort with Ryan, a total stranger, yet he eases her pain and suffering and loss. Her sister, Willow keeps coming back to her, talking to her, egging her on, and taunting her.
Honestly, I was on board with all this, until the dead sister kept coming back because Mac didn’t grieve her the proper way. What is the proper way? Everyone grieves differently and who is the dead sister to say, feel the pain, love Robbie and talk about me. Always goes back to Willow.
The love story between Ryan and MacKenzie, that part I liked. That part of the story was great. It’s a sweet romance that makes you believe in a happy ending. Two broken people can come together and fix each other. That part I loved. But when Mac went crazy, I was out.
4.5 stars
Sometimes you read a book and know exactly what’s going to happen.
Sometimes your mind spins theories that seem preposterous.
Sometimes it just clicks. That thought/theory that won’t stop eating at you.
Ryan’s Bed by Tijan was intense. It was dark in the lost and consuming way that death is. It was depressing. It seemed for a time- hopeless. But it wasn’t, it was filled with hope hidden in the dark.
I had a theory. It wouldn’t leave me. I tried to change my mind but I just couldn’t. In the end, I knew I had been right.
Sometimes the simplest answer is the right one.
If I could crawl into Ryan’s Bed, I would never leave.
Reviewed for Naughty Book Blog
I am in awe of this book. It is amazing from the first page to the last. Do yourself a favor and read it.
Pulled an all-nighter to read this in one sitting. Loved it.
Ryan’s Bed
I had this sitting in my kindle for a while. I had heard so many emotional things about this book, and wanted to wait until I could fully engulf myself in reading. I loved how the relationship evolved. I loved how truly strong she became. I loved the friends she made. And I was completely shocked at the end… emotional read for me.
ARC provided via Author.
Y’all!!!! This was unlike anything I have read from Tijan before! It really gave me the feels.
This book is about loss, healing, and learning about yourself. We meet Mackenzie shortly before her sister’s suicide. After she finds her sister, she is soon whisked away to stay with new friends of her parents for a day or two. That night she makes the mistake of going into Ryan’s bed instead of his sisters. From that moment she finds solace and comfort in Ryan’s bed and his presence. Ryan’s Bed is not your conventional love story.
I loved the relationship between Ryan and Mackenzie. It could have gone a totally different route. I was hoping that she wouldn’t become attached to Ryan in an unhealthy way and thank goodness that didn’t happen!
Ryan ended up becoming her rock in this book. He seemed so mature and that what Mackenzie needed. He understood loss and how she might feel. He also didn’t hold her back from healing and trying move on in a way that she wanted.
That ending! Man oh man, that damn ending! I didn’t see it coming and I wasn’t ready for how it would make me feel. I’ve finished reading this a couple of days ago and it’s still on my mind. Tijan broke you, helped you heal with Mackenzie, and just completely sweeps you away in this book.
Tijan outdid herself and I can’t wait to see what else she writes!
This book blew my high expectations out of the water. I absolutely loved it. Last night I read 40% and this morning I couldn’t function until I’d finished it.
Mackenzie finds herself in Ryan’s bed a few hours after her sister has committed suicide. Her whole life has been torn apart and the only place she can be is in Ryan’s bed. Mac goes through so much agony in this story that its heart breaking. Just when I think she’s gonna get a break another curve ball is thrown at her. Ryan is the popular guy but he has his own battles. These two are perfect together.
That ending! Totally unexpected.
Reading this makes me want to read so much more from Tijan. She truly is in a league of her own and I recommend everyone reads at least one book by her. I’m looking forward to reading more from Tijan.
I love Tijan’s books. I’m never disappointed.
As I sit here thinking of the words to say to sum up how I feel about Ryan’s Bed, my heart is still breaking. This novel is so freaking impactful and has true meaning. This novel not only tells a story but allows the reader to live the story. Thank you Tijan for writing a novel that is not only insightful and heartbreaking but also a novel that shows the true depth that comes with the heartbreak of losing someone to such a careless act, an act that some have no control over.
We all have our triggers when it comes to reading material. Honestly, suicide is a major trigger for me. not for the act itself but for the heartbreak the act leaves behind. In today’s world we are all linked together by this one tragic act. Everyone knows someone who has acted on suicidal thoughts, whether it be a close family member, a best friend, or a celebrity we all admire. We are all linked.
Ryan’s Bed gives you an inside view of someone who is living with the consequences of a suicide. This novel is strictly told in Mackenzie’s point of view. Mackenzie tells a story of what it feels like to be a victim of suicide. Her story is heartbreaking. This story also paints a vivid picture of a family falling apart and emotionally closing off from one another, and shows how friendships are tested and sometimes neglected in the devastation.
Walking in and finding her twin sister on the bathroom floor, Mackenzie has to learn to live with not only what she saw but also the what ifs of the situation.
After a few sleepless nights she finds solace in Ryan’s Bed.
Ryan and Mackenzie, overtime, grow a meaningful relationship. Ryan is the crutch that Mackenzie needs to open up and talk about what she’s going through. I loved how their story starts off with her randomly finding peace in his bedroom and jumping into his bed feeling safe even before she knew who Ryan was. I knew from the beginning that Ryan would be the one to help Mackenzie through the dark storm she was about to meet head on.
Okay, I’m going to stop the in-depth portion of my review for fear of giving away spoilers. Lets skip right to the characters.
As with all her novels, Tijan adds her flare to this heartbreaking story, along with the tragic acts Mackenzie finds herself going to a new school where the cliques are high and the girls are mean. Mackenzie is a badass who shows she can hold her own.
Ryan is a badass in his own way. I loved his ‘boy next door’ vibe throughout the first half of the novel. However, I’m a sucker for Tijan’s alpha badass characters and as Ryan and Mackenzie’s relationship progressed Ryan’s inner alpha started to show himself!
Overall, I cried so freaking hard!!! I’m talking rivers of ugly cry tears! I loved Ryan’s Bed by Tijan! If you are an angst lover, like I am, I highly recommend you check out Ryan’s Bed!
This is not the first book I’ve read from Tijan and when I read the blurb to this book I knew I had to read it. The cover alone makes you want to read the story and what a story it is. I can’t deny that. I was a good read. Mackenzie is dealing with the death of her twin sister Willow the only way she knows how. Her whole family is dealing with it the best way they know how. Ryan becomes Mac’s safety net, her safe place, what she needs when she needs to silence everything around her. I enjoyed Ryan a lot, not only because he was caring, loving and protective, but also because he knew when not to overcrowd and just give that helping touch that was needed. I enjoyed the friendship they developed and love they had for each other. I enjoyed most of the characters in this story. I especially liked Mac’s little brother Robbie. This storyline does include a group of high school kids in this story so, with that comes its own drama and this book was not lacking with it. There were moments that made me smile and moments that touched my heart. That ending though!!!! I can honestly say that I never expected that, but I should have. This story was so well written that what was written at the end should have been expected, but there was never a clue or a crumb that would lead you to think it was possible. I guess this book proves the saying, “people see what they want to see.” I can honestly say I never saw that ending. I recommend readers giving this book a try. I believe when it comes to this one either you will like it or you won’t.
I received a copy of this book for free.
If you’re a fan of Tijan or have never read her – this book will irritate, enthrall, and capture your heart. There’s lots of changes for Mackenzie’s family. The most devastating is the loss of her sister. Being a teenager is hard enough – let alone to loose a part of you what will be your Senior year of High School in a new town. It has to be down right frightening.
Everything happens for a reason though right? The only person Mackenzie feels safe around is a guy named Ryan. They just met. No clue anything about the other other than the loss of her sister. She finds comfort being around him though. Like he doesn’t judge or push. He just lets her be.
Many changes to these characters happen throughout the book. They’re dealing with a lot of emotional baggage/turmoil/change – just life. To top it off Ryan’s friends can be less than welcoming until they’re set straight.
It was great reading this story and seeing Mackenzie come out of her shell. She was feeling less than until she pulled herself up from her bootstraps and became the person she always wished she was. It’s sad that a tragedy had to happen in order for that change to be made.
This is a mature YA story. Definitely one for teens to read as well as adults. I hope this story resonates with you for a long time to come.
You know when you finish reading one of those books that leaves you in such a book hangover that you have to go back and reread it again because it was that good?
Well this is that book!
Mackenzie & Ryan’s story hit me hard.
I related to Mackenzie soo much it was scary when I read this book because it felt like a part of me came to life on the pages as I read them.
Author Tijan emotionally gutted me in a good way.
The love, hurt, passion, self discovery of the characters she created will forever be a part of me.
And Ryan… he stole my heart with his love and feelings for Mackenzie.
His compassion and friendship he provides to Mackenzie was off the charts.
I can honestly say I’ve never read a book quite like this before. It was deeply moving, emotion and honestly, it put me through the wringer and left me limp afterwards.
Mackenzie starts the story with a broken soul, one that’s been crushed by the senseless and unbelievable suicide of her sister Willow. That in itself was bad enough, but Mackenzie was the one who found the body of her dead twin.
Through a convoluted series of events, Mackenzie and her young brother are left with strangers whom they’d only met hours earlier after her family had attended a welcoming picnic at her father’s new bosses home.
Mackenzie finds herself in Ryan’s bed, but not for the reason you think. She got lost and ends up there instead of the room she was supposed to share with Ryan’s sister.
Both Ryan and Mackenzie are inextricably drawn together. Ryan feels the need to comfort and protect Mac as he calls her. They slowly grow closer and more of Mackenzie’s past comes to light.
She bears the brunt of the loss of her sibling, everyone around her shuts down, her parents are absent and pay little attention to her. Ryan becomes her entire world.
Their connection and chemistry is a beautiful thing to behold.
Ryan has a piece of himself that is tortured and broken too. They fill in the blanks in each other. There is no angst between these two, but there are outside influences that try to drive them apart. It was heartbreaking to see how horrible girls can be to each other, even in a story.
This was an often sad, poignant tale, filled with desperate loss and a longing to fit in. Mackenzie had to find the strength to stand up for herself in the midst of unrelenting hatred. She channeled her inner twin to do so. Willow’s words kept her going, even when at times she despaired of her capacity to go on.
I was left reeling when I reached the end of this book. I’m not going to tell you how it ended, you’ll just have to venture there yourself.
I thought this story was a deeply touching depiction of love and loss and how members of a family process and deal with the repercussions following a tragedy. I thoroughly enjoyed McKenzie and Ryan and thought their friendship and relationship was sweet and sexy amongst a myriad of emotions prevalent in the story: loss, remorse, anger and guilt. I was absolutely hooked.
Whenever I hear that Tijan has a brand new story..two words come to mind: kindle crack. Her words are consuming and the stories compelling. You get so attached to the stories that it’s hard to come up for air. Ryan was so protective of McKenzie and she in turn only really allowed herself to shutdown and rest when she was with him. He became her sanctuary from the storm that was her life. I could not get enough of them both.
While I did enjoy Ryan and Mac’s deep connection, there were times where I was lost in McKenzie’s stream of consciousness and inner monologue. All in all this was a solid and emotional story with real gut wrenching moments. I can’t wait for more from this author! Bravo! 4 stars! Ratula