I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should’ve left…I didn’t. I didn’t jump out. I didn’t get embarrassed.I relaxed.And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If … slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could’ve stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
** Standalone full-length novel, Mature YA themes
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Moving to a new town is never easy. A new house, new school, and new ‘friends’ to add to the stress of starting over. For Mackenzie – her father’s new job presented a move to a new state at the beginning of what will be her senior year in high school. As the ‘average one’, Mackenzie is constantly feeling like she is in the shadow of her brother and twin sister. Both are overachievers and Mackenzie doesn’t live up to the same hype. A ‘plain Jane’ compared to her sister!
Then the unthinkable happens. A tragic reality that turns Mackenzie’s life upside down. The loss of a missing piece of her soul. Mackenzie’s twin sister Willow kills herself. Finding her sister that fateful day would alter Mackenzie’s life in ways that she could never have imagined. Food, sleep, crying….nothing is appealing or can placate her heart. Until the moment Mackenzie crawls into a stranger’s bed.
After the tragedy, Mackenzie’s parents turned to another family to watch over Mackenzie and her brother. In essence, strangers that neither sibling knew at all. After wandering in the house that night, Mackenzie became turned around by the sheer size of the home. The result landed her in Ryan’s bed, and it was the first time her body let her relax enough to sleep.
Now that Mackenzie knows how much comfort she has found in the solace of Ryan’s bed, she doesn’t want to give up that solace. The peace that silences all the turmoil around Mackenzie is unexpected. A response that Ryan also knows all too well. What happens when these two decide they cannot give up their connection? Will Ryan still be there when Mackenzie needs him most? Only time will tell how far the pull of this tragedy will be felt.
Now that is what I am talking about!!! The first book of the year that has captured my heart and soul!! Ryan’s Bed is unlike your ‘typical’ young adult novel. It is a tale born from tragedy and loneliness. A story that will capture your heart, wring it in two, and show you the depths of human emotion through every sentence written in the book. A novel that you will devour like your soul is starving.
Anytime you hear the words suicide, it makes you envision all kinds of turmoil. Discovering the heartache that is associated with this tragedy through Mackenzie’s eyes will give you a completely unabashed look into the devastation that is left behind. While Mackenzie and Ryan delve into their own personal journeys of self-discovery, this novel also shows the side of loss from the friends and family that are left behind. It’s a tale about healing….about love….and most of all forgiveness.
I went in blind and came out with stars in my eyes. 5 shining stars to be exact! Ryan and Mackenzie’s story is one that will stay with me for a long time. Tijan has mastered the ability to tackle a tough subject with skill and compassion. If you are looking for a story where broken hearts are healed, soul mates are found and those who are suffering in silence finally have a voice, then read this book! A surprise I didn’t see at the end still has me spinning. Tijan is a genius.
I adored this book from beginning to end. Tijan is so fantastic at writing real-life characters that are relatable. It made my heart hurt for them but I couldn’t put it down! Make sure your box of Kleenex is nearby.
So I just finished this book and when a book has this much effect on me I normally sit on writing my review for a little bit . I however have so many thoughts about this book I have to get them out . So Mackenzie just lost her twin sister hours before she ends up in Ryan’s bed on accident . She feels safe with him and can actually sleep . Little does she know Ryan understands what she is going through . They both have this hole inside of them that nothing will ever fill , but they just might be able to make it better for each other .
This book touched on a subject that many don’t like to talk about , suicide . It goes so deep into how suicide effects those left behind . I was in tears through out most of the book . Tijain knows how to write where you as the reader feel the emotion of the characters. She is able to
Pull and you heart and gut . I finished this book and had goosebumps. My cousin committed suicide at the age of 15 and other books I have read kinda gloss over the subject but not this book . She gets down into the nitty gritty , the ugly, the pain and everything in between . This is a book that will stick with me for a long time . Amazing work
RYAN’S BED is definitely my favorite book by Tijan. I can’t believe I didn’t read this book sooner! This story makes me feel admiration for this author, it’s not easy to write about a hard topic, such as suicide, but Tijan did it in a remarkable, sensible and flawless way, with extreme finesse that will make you love this story.
The book starts with a tragedy. Mackenzie just lost her twin, her “other half”. She feels empty and hollow. We get to witness how she deals with her grief. Her pain was so well described that you can feel that pain in your own flesh and bones. She lost her sister, but she found Ryan in the most unexpected way and he became her anchor to reality, he’s the reason she didn’t lose her mind and the only one that really gets her.
Let me just say, this book is so much more than sadness and loss. This story shows us how Mackenzie and her family dealt with grief, the way she heals after her twin’s suicide and how despite of all this sadness, she found love and that love was her way of getting back to her life…getting back to living and dealing with what happened.
The ending is quite shocking, you won’t see it coming! I love that surprise factor, but I hate it as well because now I have a lot of questions and I’d love that Tijan gives us more about this amazing story.
This book…it’s a story of healing, and emotional bleeding, and standing up to high school mean girls, and survival. It turned me inside out and by the time I got to the end, I had to start it over again to see what I missed. Grab this book. You won’t be sorry.
I really really enjoyed this book and this is my first Tijan book for me.
Maybe some reviews said the romance in this book really slow not like Tijan’s other books. I can’t judge it because I haven’t read another book before and I regret it.
I think this book really good and so emotional. and for the first time I read note from the author at the end of the book, she said she wanted to write about Mackenzie’s relationship with Ryan, also she wanted to focus on Mackenzie herself, and I really understand why the romance side of this book really slow.
Tijan know how to makes her readers into roller coaster emotional. This such an intense story, heartbreaking, and full of emotion. And I really love Mac and Ryan healing each other.
Really makes you think. I recommend this author to everyone.
Man oh man there is a ton of feels going on in this story. It’s very emotional and a touchy subject. I’m so glad that Tijan wrote it
Ryans Bed i felt was such an emotional book, atijan really took us through a journey of a young girl coping with grief and just trying to get through one at a time.
This novel started from the first page and you just didn’t want to put it down, it was so heartbreaking from Mackenzie losing her twin sister to really being alone and to grow up faster and really get on with her life the best she can.
I loved that Aryan was there for her but also let her figure herself out and he was sweet and so comforting i really loved Ryan. It was so good that McKenzie had found someone to lean on that had been through something similar.
As i am writing this review Linken Parks One more light is playing and for me it brings out all the emotions that you go through reading this book.
I don’t want to say to much i think everyone deserves to go in blind and really take everything that they can out of a story like this.
One thing i took from this book was you might not shine as bright as the person next to you but all you need to do is shine for yourself and be who you want to be and love life.
This book was amazing and everyone should give it a go, the writing was awesome and such a fantastic story.
Big 5 Stars from me.
Title: Ryan’s Bed
Author: Tijan
Publisher: Tijan
Amount of Pages: 250
Genre: Young Adult/New Adult, Contemporary, Romance
Date Read: 01-04-2018
Favorite Quote: “You can’t battle someone who’s lost everything.”
Review
I was blown away by this book. I was intrigued by it. I didn’t expect it to be this good, to be so deep basically. This book is very emotional. It shows how people can react to severe trauma. It shows how hard it is to spot mental illness in certain people.
I really didn’t see that ending coming, that just blew my mind. Totally unexpected. It really put the entire book in a whole new perspective.
What is this book about:
This book is about Mackenzie and Ryan. Mackenzie, along with her little brother, twin sister and their parents moved due to her fathers work. They move near Ryan and his parents and sister.
Mackenzie is the normal, average one in the family. Her younger brother is a little genius and her twin sister is smart, beautiful and very popular as well.
The story starts with a bang. We start the story with Mackenzie slipping into the wrong bed, Ryan’s bed instead of his sister. She has trouble sleeping and somehow is able to sleep with Ryan, a guy she doesn’t really know, next to her.
The reasons she can’t sleep is because the night before, her twin sister killed herself and Mackenzie was the one to find her…..
What did I like about this book:
I love Ryan. He is such a sweet and patient and amazing guy. He has some demons of his own but he’s handeling them in a very gracious way.
I love that this story shows different ways of coping with trauma. You see how people can react and act differently. You see that some people can cope better than other. So I loved seeing how Mackenzie is figuring out how to cope with her sisters death and the guilt and uncertainty that comes with it and learning how to become whole again. Ryan is there every step of the way to help her.
That ending was so shocking, I never saw that one coming. It put the entire book in a different light.
I’m not a big fan of YA Romance but I am a fan of this one. There aren’t many YA romance books that I’ve read that are amazing as this one. That has the same depth and complexity as this one.
Rating:
5 It was Amazing Stars
Literally got chills when I read the last line.
This debut novel started off with a bang. Betrayed had me hooked from the start and guessing who it was throughout the whole book. Everytime I thought I knew who it was she’d throw in a little something to make me second guess myself.
A mystery filled with secrets, and betrayal that will keep you on the edge of your seat right up until the very end. I can’t wait to read more from this first-time author.
All I can say is. (Wow Tijan)
Heart wrenchingly beautiful!
Oh my! What a truly beautiful story about healing. The ending brought a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. Mackenzie’s journey is filled with pain, and watching her heal, and the way Tijan writes her story, seers your soul. It’s beautiful.
This story is so very real and filled with raw emotions. It’s intense and filled with pain and love and very emotional. Tijan’s beautiful writing makes you feel deeply. She writes in a way that you connect with every character. I felt Mackenzie’s pain, I wanted to lash out at the mean girls, I felt her parent’s grief, I felt Ryan’s pain and love and support, I felt Cora’s uncertainty in how she fit in, I felt everything. It’s written fantastically! I loved Mackenzie and Ryan’s connection and the way two broken souls could find solace in each other and help each other heal. They are truly beautiful. And the growth of the friendship between Mackenzie and Cora warms your heart.
This story held me captive from the first page. Tijan weaves a sincere and beautiful story that is sure to leave you breathless. A must read!
Phenomenal! Epic! A must read! A poignant story about loss, grief and learning to love and piece yourself back together. Amazing characters that will give you all the feels. A beautifully written story on a tough subject that will grab you from the start and you’ll be begging for more. I highly recommend this book.
O.M.G.! What an amazing story. Mac is by far the strongest female lead I have read in a bit. Ryan is amazing for his young age (both really). I can’t say I would be as poised at 18 and having to go through what both did.
I could not put this one down. I read in the car (passenger), in bed (til 2am), while the my Mr. watched the NASCAR race, even at the dinner table (which is NOT allowed).
But that ENDING…… That last line. DEAD! I know there will most likely NOT be a follow up, but oh how I wish there were.
This book was stunning. Really. It was devastating. It was healing. It was broken. It was beautiful. It grabbed hold of me and didn’t let go, even when I had to take a moment to breathe, even when I had to put it down to do life, and even after I finished those last mind blowing words. Thank you Tijan for continuing to write this book even when you weren’t sure if you should. Truly, this was one of my all time favorites. I’m going to need to read it again.
This is a first for me by this author so I had absolutely no expectations at all. Having no idea what this novel was even about I still chose to pick it up. And why?
Because when it was first released it came so highly recommended that I couldn’t help but be drawn to pick it up.
Now as I sit here I am lost for words. I honestly don’t know what to say. I am completely torn and my heart…I am literally struggling.
This is Mackenzie’s story.
This is her story and for me it wasn’t the easiest to read.
For me it was hard to read because this is the heartbreaking story about Mackenzie’s life and what life for her is like after losing her sister to suicide.
This is Mackenzie’s gut wrenching story about what it’s like to live with grief each and every single day.
This is Mackenzie’s story about the pain that bleeds into her soul.
This is Mackenzie’s story and her daily struggles with her parents, her brother and her friends.
This is Mackenzie’s story about solitude and feeling alone.
This is Mackenzie’s story that for me crushed my soul, tore a gaping hole in my chest and left me shattered into a million pieces.
It was raw, gritty, highly emotional, all consuming and simply heartbreaking.
But it was also heart-warming and simply breathtaking.
It had all the feels and as a reader I simply couldn’t have asked for anything more.
It simply had everything.
And I absolutely loved it.
Perfection.
5 stars.
I love Tijan’s writing ad I read absolutely everything from her the moment I can get my hands on it. I also was really looking forward to this story because based on the synopsis it was bound to be an emotional roller coaster and overall awesome. It was really good but there was one thing in it that caused a level of discomfort.
I think Tijan is the queen of writing emotional, drama and angst filled stories without making them either overwhelming or annoying. This is true for this book too. It focuses on a serious and quite current topic and the story portrays it beautifully, with every sometimes depressing, sometimes heartbreaking emotion seeping off the pages. Dear Tijan, you nailed it once again so much so that it broke my heart. The plot is brilliant, has a phenomenal flow and if it wouldn’t be enough the final chapter puts the dot on the i. It throws everything you thought you knew back into your face and makes you reevaluate the whole thing, it makes you see the book in a different light.
MacKenzie goes through a horrible experience right at the beginning of the book which in itself causes quite a trauma but if you consider that she already had problems with being seen by her parents which only intensifies by this event then you pretty much can picture her emotional and mental state. However, she tries to be strong, mainly for the sake of her little brother. So she gets into a kind of supporting, healing, understanding friendship/relationship, a proverbial complicating thing with Ryan, whom later turns out has more in common with her than you would think. They create a kind of dynamic friendship with each other and some of Ryan friends. However, she mainly uses them/ him as a distraction especially in the beginning. And here comes the part that I had some problem with, the whole ‘using him’ aspect, I know that in the end things end up well for them and I don’t really have triggers either but there are a couple of things that just sour a story for me. And this one fell into that category.
I still enjoyed the book and I think it tells an eye-opening and mesmerizing tale but it’s not going to be my fave from Tijan.