I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should’ve left…I didn’t. I didn’t jump out. I didn’t get embarrassed.I relaxed.And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If … slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could’ve stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
** Standalone full-length novel, Mature YA themes
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My review: WOW
Often times, I hate the blurbs of books, because I think they give to much away. That is NOT the case with RYAN’S BED. The blurb left me shocked.
I was so glad my daughter found this book, read it and then insisted I read it. Just so happened that I was with her when I finished the book. She sat staring at me, waiting for my reaction. We then discussed the book, the characters actions and reactions and came to some conclusions. Our best conclusion was that others need to read this book. Some will not be able to, due to the subject of suicide. The story line is of upper high school age, and I thought the author did a great job, keeping the characters in their age bracket. The story is so more in dept than what the blurb alludes. One of the best single POV books I’ve read in awhile. This book will stick with me, thinking of the characters as if they were real people. Just, WOW
It’s taken me a while to write this review. When you have a similar experience to the loss of a loved one, the reminder hits you like a freight train. This book was not at all what I expected, but still a very unique and well written story of two teenagers, each coping in their own way and finding solace in one another.
This book made me an emotional wreck, not to say I wasn’t one before, but coming out of a depressed state is hard to do. How Tijan managed to work in a romance was beyond my head and I had so many emotions rushing in and out with each and every word.
Keep your box of tissues handy!
How do I even begin to put into words how this story made me feel? From the very first chapter I was intrigued, consumed and entranced by this heartbreakingly emotional read. This book was filled with loss, grief, forgiveness and love but the journey was raw, heart-wrenching, gripping and nothing short of perfection. If you haven’t read this INCREDIBLE story I highly recommend grabbing some tissues and prepare to be left breathless!
5 GUT WRENCHING STARS!! The emotions in this book are so gut wrenching, but beautifully written. Mac and Ryan’s story is a rough one and will grab your heart and squeeze it dry. This author’s writing is phenomenal….Ryan’s Bed will go down as one of my favorites ever.
This is a touching story of how suicide of a child can devastate and tear the family apart, how they put themselves back together.
Mackenzie had Visions of her twin, Willow, talking and haunting her. Willow was the competitive, popular, social twin, the one everyone loved. Mackenzie blames herself, why she didn’t see the signs? She was her twin, they felt everything. So why was Willow hurting?
Ever since the first night she fell asleep in Ryans bed, after her sister’s death, he’s been her anchor, her friend, protector and lover. They were two souls who knew the loss of someone close and found solace in each other. Tijan goes in depth with Mackenzie’s thoughts about Willow, Ryan’s grief , and her family devastation.
Therese Plummer told this story with so much emotion. I felt all the anguish, angst, love, confusion, anger of each and every character. Amazing narration. I wish I could give her 10 stars. This was the first story I listened to by Tijan. I look forward to read more by this amazing author. I was gifted this audio book and so happy to share my honest review.
SO GOOD!
Loved this well-written, emotional story.
Heartbreaking, powerful, full of heart-pounding feels…I never wanted to put this down. This story gripped my heart tightly from the very beginning and wouldn’t let go until the very end. And then there, at the end, with the very last sentence, I was thrown for a loop. I stood there speechless. I was processing. I was fucking WOWED.
*The narrator for the audiobook was excellent!
I don’t even know where to start or how to describe what this book has done to me. Mackenzie and Ryan’s story is one of the rare perls in an ocean of books!
It’s very, I mean VERY, emotional and the characters are described so vividly that I could relate to them one hundred percent.
The inner conflict, the inner turmoil, the conflicting feelings, the agony and the pain that Mac and her family are going through… it all felt so raw, so real, so authentic that I could feel it myself. Not in the intensity that they do, but I COULD feel it.
Reading this book is kind of a challenge. It broke my heart over and over again and I had to pause ever so often to rein in my emotions and tears.
But this book isn’t just about loss. It’s about friendship, and love, about empathy and about supporting a friend, about mending torn pieces and above all it’s about healing and the process to get there.
It’s a wonderful and moving book, captivating and stirringly written, which I highly recommend and which will stay with me for a very long time!
Such a great story about life, love, and loss. Mackenzie goes through so much heartbreak and finding herself in this book after the death of her twin. Ryan is her rock. No matter where she is or how bad it gets, he’s always there for her. Great book.
I’ve wanted to read this book for awhile now, and was excited when I finally got to it. Sadly it wasn’t at all what I expected it to be and it didn’t blow me away. Hence the lower rating.
I think I missed some depth in the relationship between Mac and Ryan. At times their relationship was too much the focus of the story, while I would have liked it to be more Mac’s story. And at other times I felt like their relationship was to shallow. Especially all the high school drama surrounding them being together made it feel ridiculous.
This book has so much potential with some really well written parts, but it didn’t live up to it. I wish I could have loved it more.
Bonus points for the epilogue, because that final twist changed everything.
This book pulled me in. From the beautiful cover to the heart wrenching blurb, I just knew that I had to read it. It turned out to be everything I wanted and more.
On the 29th of June, Mackenzie’s world came crashing down. She thought everything couldn’t get any worse after being uprooted to a new town in Oregon after her father’s promotion. She had no doubts that her siblings would have no problem with the change – especially her twin, Willow. Willow was always popular and perfect. She was the more popular twin, the better twin. When McKenzie found her twin laying in a pool of blood on the bathroom floor, she felt like she had died along with her.
Mackenzie finds herself thrown into a strangers home, along with her brother, as her parents make the funeral arrangements for her twin. She mistakenly crawls into Ryan’s bed instead of his sisters and immediately feels at ease. Ryan becomes her safe haven – while her world continues to crumble around her. She just became the new girl who’s twin sister killed herself. And we all know that teenagers are not the most sensitive.
First off, I want to applaud this author for delivering such a beautifully chaotic story. Suicide doesn’t end once that person takes their life; it continues on through their loved ones. Tijan wasn’t afraid to take us readers down the stages of grief, through the what-ifs, or the path of forgiveness. My heart broke for Mckenzie and I still tear up thinking about everything she went through.
However, that last page made me bawl like a huge baby. I never expected it. I stayed up an extra hour that night just thinking about it. The last line made the whole book for me. I had seen that 30 users marked this as DNF and it made me upset. They truly missed out on something profound.
5 Stars!
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I loved this book! It had me at the first page and that last line WOW! Well written. Powerful. Haunting. READ IT!
I listened to the audiobook for this one and it was intense. The ending is shocking but brings so much of the story together. Definitely need tissues to get through it! MacKenzie and Ryan are great. I love how they take the major hits and emotions of high school and get through them together. The family works together too. Wasn’t expecting such a deep book but once you start, it sucks you right in!!
WOW… It was impossible to put down and I was bawling my eyes out at the same time. At the end, I just closed my Kindle, sat there quietly, and felt more tears coming… It was such a highly emotional book, made me think more about how people dealt with grief, loss of loved ones and how to move forward. Even though Ryan was always there for Mackenzie, being her anchor when she needed him most, she was definitely fighting her own battle and coming out stronger than ever. She has become a glue to stitch back her family, while she was trying her best to cope with her own grief. And Ryan was a SUPERSTAR, always supportive, always understanding and loving her for who she really was. It’s quite heartbreaking to see how parents could not be there for their children and how their behaviors really affected these young individuals who were transitioning into adulthood. It’s a beautiful story, but I’m not sure I want to read it again because it’s drained out my tears so much I think I may need something light and funny to help me through this heartbreak This is definitely my favorite book from Tijan, very unique from other stories and will probably stick with me forever…
The Synopsis drew me in but it wasn’t what I expected at all.
From the books I have read by Tijan they have all been based around a teenager and struggles in one way or another, with different plots, school, bullies and first love In that respect this was no different but the plot it had me hooked.
If you read the synopsis you will already know the night Mackenzie found her sister dead is also the night she climbed into Ryan’s bed.
Ryan is a boy she barely knew, a boy who’s house she was staying at while her parents had just moved area for a new start and while grieving she finds comfort with a boy who becomes her sole-mate filling the gap her twin sister leaves behind. That’s the best way I can sum it up in brief.
The story focuses on the bond Mackenzie and Ryan share, Ryan had lost his best friend years earlier.
Mackenzie is the new girl in school and she never was the popular girl, it was always her sister but you could say she begins to channel her sister, she hears her voice, she sees her when she’s in crisis, feels her encouragement.
Sounds a bit weird right? but the story worked.
Tijan covers a lot of things in this book, bullying, eating disorders, grief, suicide, family issues, the importance of communication and in the midst of it all young love.
A good young adult read with a lot of meaning behind the words.
W.T.F!!!!!….
O.M.G.!!!!!
Talk about a total mind fk!
An amazingly original story of grief and the journey to get to a place of acceptance.
A must read I will be recommending to every one!
Just Wow!!!!
The cover had me curious. It portrayed a book full of emotion and lured me in to find out what happened to this girl to lead to her body language in the cover photograph. When I started reading, I was pulled in by the allure of mystery. This book is truly amazing at hooking the reader with curiosity. I was constantly wondering what I didn’t know by the way it was written. This book is certainly intriguing and disturbing to me as a reader. I don’t think I could say that it alienated, irritated, or frightened me. Maybe some irritation with the way that high school aged girls sometimes act. This book is full of feels and is sure to draw other readers in from the beginning much like me. This story was told very well. It is raw emotion. I am certain it would be very difficult to write a book on this subject matter and accomplish the feat of writing the situation with the perfect balance. As an individual with a rare cancer and who will never know the words NED (no evidence of disease), I struggle with my imminent death and those close to me know I am quite blunt regarding the subject of my cancer and my death. While I know my situation is completely different than the situation in the book, I tell you this to say that I loved how the main character, Mackenzie, copes with her difficult situation and find myself relating to her internal sarcasm and blunt banter with her sister. I have not read other books by Tijan, but I will be putting them on my to be read. I am impressed with Tijan’s writing style and ability to write about difficult situations. I think Amy can speak more to the difference between this book and others written by Tijan, as she was the one who suggested we review this book. So many of my questions for the author were addressed in the “Dear Reader” section at the close of the book. There are so many beautiful answers to my questions there and it leaves me with only one question left to ask in relation to this book. The power of perspective is so intense and completely changes a story. Another character could tell this story and elicit completely different feelings from readers. If you had to choose a different character perspective to tell this story from who would you choose and why? I can say with confidence in my ignorance, I did not see the ending coming. This book kept my interest throughout, as I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was something lurking around the corner and I could not have prepared for it. I enjoy reading books without a pretty wrapped package where everything works out perfectly and the ending has a bow slapped on it. The ending was shocking for me and it didn’t make me feel like it was wrapped up neatly. I still had so many questions, but will not go forward agonizing over the unanswered questions at the back of my mind. There was some resolution in at least having the information I did by the end of the book and many of the questions I had throughout were answered, even if I was left with more.
Ryan’s Bed captured my eyes with its stunning cover and intriguing synopsis. A YA novel that exposes high school dramatics. Tears fell just by reading the synopsis. The ending of this angsty novel is explosive & divine at the same time. Taking anguish and bringing out the scandalous of suicide in a exquisite way. So many sentiments swirling in your mind while reading this novel. A fusion of family, friendships, grief, healing, love, loss, and sorrow all mingled together & intricately weaved together through the pages.
A unforgettable read with compelling characters with complex personalities. I absolutely loved this novel and look forward to reading other books by this author.
Gut Wrenching Grief, Self Hate & Survival!!
Ryan’s Bed
This book, this story, it’s important!
If it can connect even one person with the devastation they’ll be leaving behind if they’re considering suicide & it makes them pause, or if it helps one survivor or family member of suicide find some peace, then Ryan’s Bed & Tijan have achieved something phenomenal!! I survived, I didn’t expect or want to – but I was 14 yrs old, self absorbed, thoughtless & careless with myself & everyone else’s feelings!! I’m SO grateful I survived. My family, especially my parents, will be forever hurt by my actions as that child though!
This is a raw & very truthful read. Mackenzie’s identical twin, Willow, taking her own life completely devastates her family!! Mac accidentally but fortunately, for them both in the long term, gets in to Ryan’s bed instead of his sister’s, after grabbing a glass of water! She found her twin earlier that night & she hasn’t been able to turn her brain off Ryan, kindly just let’s her snuggle in & finally, finally she sleeps!!
This book takes place over the year that follows their loss. It’s shows & let’s us see & feel how Mac copes & changes throughout it. How Ryan becomes her life support system & So much more Ryan is a God damn hero in this book for Mac, he’d lost his bestfriend a few years before so related to her demons more than anyone can possibly realise!!
This is a powerful read. It should be required reading in ALL Schools around the globe The subject matter isn’t sugar coated, made pretty or even dealt with in a careful manner – it’s dealt with with a truth, pain, rawness & realness that takes your breath away. It’s because you know, you just know that this is happening to someone, more than one, right now!! As you’re reading ‘Ryan’s Bed’, as I write my review & as you’re reading this, people are finding a loved one dead by their own hand!! Suicide is NOT a dirty word, it needs to be discussed & brought into the light so that the ‘Mac’s’ of this world know how to ask for help!!
Tijan, this book did need to be written, I’m so glad you listened to your heart & your characters
Debbie, 1970, UK
4.5 stars. It’s been a long time since a book has brought so many of my emotions to the surface. Actually, thinking back, this is probably the most heart-wrenching story I’ve ever read. Based on the blurb, I was expecting a sweet teenage romance, one with all the tingly feels of first love, and having read Tijan before, a bit of family drama. What I got instead is a book that took me on a roller coaster through every emotion I could imagine. A book that I will be recommending to everyone.
I think reading this book has helped me grow as a person. Suicide is never talked about, until you have to talk about it. As a women I can relate to a lot of the emotions that are brought up in this story. As a mother it makes me sit up and take stock of the things that happen around me. This is a story I’m glad I read before my daughter. This is definitely a book I will gladly give to my daughter.
Mac and Ryan are two of the most beautiful souls that have ever graced a book. They have gone through hell, but they are coping. It was through death that they were able to live. Their souls found each other at the perfect moment, when they both needed something. Ryan thought he was healed, but it was through helping Mac that he was able to really heal. Mac needed a life preserver and was able to find that in Ryan. She was also aware of what that meant, and was able to let that go and focus on her true feelings.
A truly remarkable story.