Designed to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one—especially an aging parent—Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a … expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent.
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I wish this well-researched, thoughtful, book had been available as a guide when my father was alive. The carefully woven tapestry is highlighted by two main threads—practical and personal—both engaging and informative. I hope our son never has to provide elder care, but I’m gifting him this book to use as a reference tool should he ever need it.
Here is the book I wish I’d had years ago. Waichler’s experiences as daughter of aging and ill parents and as hospital social worker conjoin to form this empathetic, been-there, personal-professional guide to one of life’s more difficult and exhausting challenges. The professional advice is clearly presented, with ample emphasis on how different each family dynamic can be, how profoundly the aging brain can affect behavior, how to communicate with an aging parent on difficult subjects in the face of confusion, denial or dementia, and how to organize and prioritize the seemingly endless tasks that children take on when parents can no longer manage their own affairs. Weaving her father’s story into the narrative humanizes it deeply, reminding us that everything that happens along the length and breadth of a lifespan brings us our parent to where s/he is today and plays a role in how we can preserve quality of life at the end of their lives. Waichler doesn’t shrink from the negative feelings that can fester in overwhelmed caregivers, but her nonjudgmental tone and approach provide gentle balm.
This book is long overdue and I’m grateful that with it, Iris Waichler has set the standard. Having been through a painful and prolonged circumstance like this, and witnessed those of other, I can’t overstate the importance of having all the information in one place, but not in a reference book format. Waichler’s personal story credentials the compassion as well as the details. I would encourage this book as an essential to have yourself at a certain time in your life as well as to share with relatives (it will make decisions so much easier) and to give to anyone you know is experiencing what is an unavoidable rite of passage. Thank you, Waichler.
Role Reversal is an excellent book on several different levels. I absolutely loved reading about Waichler’s father and hearing his story. He really came to life on the pages. He was a great man with such a big heart. Having worked in social service myself, I appreciated his back story, and I thought that the way Waichler weaved in tips on how to care for your own loved one as she told his story was beautifully done. Each chapter is broken down into two parts: a story about her father’s progression followed by tips for the reader that apply to those same issues. It’s a brilliant way to not only educate the reader, but entertain her as well. The second part of the book is a more comprehensive guide to aging issues, such as nursing home selection, medicare and medicaid, insurance and advanced directives. It is very well organized and easy to read. All in all, this is a great read and so very helpful. Waichler covers all the bases.
Waichler’s personal story-telling, approachable tone, and accessible language make this an excellent resource for anyone concerned about how to care for aging loved ones. Family caregiver situations are enormously varied and no book can describe all of them. Waichler instead generously shares her own story and uses it to highlight the many problems, conflicts, dilemmas, and challenges involved in providing or managing care for a loved one. Each chapter contains tons of useful information, references to resources, and advice about advocacy. If you’re a caregiver or are worried about becoming one, Role Reversal will make you feel seen and understood, while giving you the tools you need to make a difficult experience one of the most rewarding you can have.
Iris Waichler packs a tremendous amount of useful information about caring for aging loved ones, and does it within the context of a beautifully-told personal story.