“I’ve been watching you long enough to know something broke you. Something you keep hidden, something that weighs on your soul. You pretend, but your eyes betray you. There’s pain hidden within them, but when you smile, really smile, the pain is gone and you’re you. Not the person you pretend to be. And like I said earlier, I find that very interesting. I want to know what makes you smile, how to … person you pretend to be. And like I said earlier, I find that very interesting. I want to know what makes you smile, how to make you smile, and how to keep that smile a permanent fixture on that gorgeous face of yours. And more importantly, I want to know why you feel unworthy of that smile, and how to fix that too.”
For years, Cassie Cooper has played the very convincing role of a confident young woman who couldn’t care less about what others think regarding her actions. But in reality, underneath her bold façade, lies a very frightened, broken little girl who’s suffocating under the weight of her secrets. Out of control, she continues whirling down her very treacherous path in search for anything that will numb her pain. But no one will ever know. With her mask securely in place, she keeps that little girl hidden, safe from the scrutiny of prying eyes.
That is, until she meets Grady Bennett.
The martial arts instructor doesn’t just look at Cassie, he sees her.
And with painstaking patience as their relationship grows, Grady works to help Cassie see herself. Her ferocity. Her strength. Her ability to love and to smile. He pushes her to acknowledge and embrace what she really is . . . a survivor.
But when her walls are down and her vulnerabilities exposed, Cassie is forced to face her torturous past, causing her to lose sight and plummet once again into her void of emptiness.
Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to find the necessary strength to land safely.
And sometimes, life has to become completely Out of Focus in order to finally see.
*** Upper New Adult Spinoff Standalone to the USA Today Bestselling Novel, Under the Influence***
WARNING – The subject matter of this novel centers around the psychological effects due to sexual abuse experienced during childhood. For this reason, as well as sexual situations, language, and adult themes, suggested reading age is 17+.
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4.5 stars
“I read obsessively to escape my own world. To live the dreams of others when, for so long, the reoccurence of my nightmares has been my reality.”
I had been excited to read this book as soon as a finished reading Under the Influence. I was really curious about Cassie’s story, and wanted to know what happened to her. A lot of people have friends like Cassie who are the life of the party but have something to hide. They act all happy but deep inside they are crying out for help.
“You pretend, but your eyes betray you. There’s pain hidden within them, but when you smile, really smile, the pain is gone and you’re you.”
There is one person who sees right through Cassie’s mask. Grady sees right through her. He is such a great guy who goes after what he wants but he also knows that Cassie is broken but he wants to help her heal. For the first time Cassie experiences things she missed out on. There is such a chemistry between the two, it was really beautiful to read. However something happens and Cassie falls back into the dark. She pushes away everyone because she doesn’t think she deserves them. It was so heartbreaking to read those parts.
“You were never really alone, Cass. I was watching, making sure you were landing safely, because I knew as soon as you hit that ground, sweetheart, you were mind. You are mine.”
Finally Cassie gets the help she needs and starts to heal. It wasn’t easy for her to find her way back to the light. But when she did it was beautiful. I loved the reunion between Cassie and Grady. However I wanted to read more about Grady and Cassie developing as a couple after the reunion. Personally I found it too short, after they came together again it was finished. I would’ve liked there to be one or two chapters extra to see them grow further as a couple. I would’ve liked to have spend more time with them. But at the end of the day this book was more about Cassie’s journey in healing and finding herself than a love story.
“I’ve been watching you long enough to know something broke you. I want to know why you feel unworthy of that smile, and how to fix that too.”
Cassie is such a strong character who is the person who everyone can depend on. She supported Spencer through so much. I especially loved the first chapter which showed how Spencer and Cassie met when they were six years old. Most of the flashbacks were heartbreaking but it perfectly shows how Cassie changed from a very happy little girl to a withdrawn and sad woman who lost herself in the darkness.
I also want to mention that there is a surprise in this book that I absolutely LOVED. I even messaged LB Simmons right away to tell her how happy I was she added this person to the book. The writing was excellent and it was written in a way that makes a reader feel such a connection to Cassie. In some ways I could relate to her, I hope this book will help a lot of people who were in similar situations as Cassie. LB Simmons is one of my favorite authors and I am looking forward to seeing what she comes up with next!