Jeremy Ivester is a transgender man. Thirty years ago, his parents welcomed him into the world as what they thought was their daughter. As a child, he preferred the toys and games our society views as masculine. He kept his hair short and wore boys’ clothing. They called him a tomboy. That’s what he called himself.By high school, when he showed no interest in flirting, his parents thought he … parents thought he might be lesbian. At twenty, he wondered if he was asexual. At twenty-three, he surgically removed his breasts. A year later, he began taking the hormones that would lower his voice and give him a beard—and he announced his new name and pronouns.
Once a Girl, Always a Boy is Jeremy’s journey from childhood through coming out as transgender and eventually emerging as an advocate for the transgender community. This is not only Jeremy’s story but also that of his family, told from multiple perspectives—those of the siblings who struggled to understand the brother they once saw as a sister, and of the parents who ultimately joined him in the battle against discrimination. This is a story of acceptance in a world not quite ready to accept.
more
A great book about a courageous young man and his loving and supportive family. The perfect antidote to all the hate out there. I the Ivester family.
It improves understanding of the transgendered.
Jo Ivestor’s book, Once a Girl, Always a Boy describes a family that transitions even as one of its members, Jeremy, transitions from uncomfortable girl to confident young man. Giving both parents, Jeremy, and his brothers and sister each a turn to tell his/her story, the book provides a roadmap, navigating through misinterpretation, misunderstanding, misgiving, honest doubt, grief, and concern, and on to support, advocacy, and political action.
The road is love. From Jo’s perspective, that’s a pretty easy road. Parents love their children. Take it from there.
Once a Girl, Always a Boy gives specific advice to parents that honestly acknowledges the difficulties, encourages positive steps, and points to the joy that is found in making the journey to authenticity. It includes a glossary, because, gosh there are new words to learn in this journey. And it identifies organizations working to make this world more just and safer for all of our children.
We are used to reading the headlines of horror stories. We expect a story about a transgender young man to be sad. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The Ivestors give testimony to a different narrative.
This is another book to help you compassionately understand transgender people. It pays to stay current on these topics.
I’m glad I read this book yet I was also glad to finish it! Members of the subjects family shared in the writing. Much of it was new information for me, however I was really “put off” by the mother’s accounts, by her in general! My irritation of her stayed w/me to the last page. It is definitely interesting, informative: educational! Read it!
Sally Veauta Northern California
I would recommend this book for anyone trying to understand transgender people. I would also have to say that after reading it, I’m left wondering if the answer to gender dysmorphia is truly surgery and hormone treatment or a cultural change to just accept that sex is not always solely determined by genitalia. I’m thinking along the lines of people who have other types of body dysmorphia not treated surgically such as those people who don’t recognize limbs as belonging to them. We don’t just chop off an arm or leg to solve that problem. As I read this book, I couldn’t help but notice that the main reason for being unhappy as a female seemed to come more from cultural expectations related to gender than from anything else. I think that having to surgically alter one’s body to fit a cultural stereotype is pretty drastic. Why not just culturally accept people as they feel most comfortable in their own skin? After all, sex is not a black and white issue but on a continuum. To have to risk surgery which always carries risk of infection and a lifetime of hormone treatment where the health issues of such are not yet known, just seems to me extreme. I’d rather just accept someone dressing and acting male or female as “hey, that’s just how their brain works” rather than make them feel they need to undergo drastic surgery to feel accepted.
Not a great book it’s hard not to see the (now) young man as spoiled and unmotivated. But it is a good look at what being in the wrong body feels like. Kudos to a supportive family.
A balanced view of a young girl who feels different from their early years. But mother and child, in alternating chapters, reveal their feelings and actions as the child grows into the adult man. I felt the anxiety and heartbreak and joys and arduous journey. But it’s joyous and affirming of the love of parents for their child. I think it helps the reader understand what a trans person experiences, and I highly recommend it.
Couldn’t put it down. Had to see what happened to him.
This book was a good read to compare to another I’ve read about a transgender woman. The life stories played out differently–one person knew their proper gender from early-on, while the other came to know it gradually as they grew up. But the end result was the same: a person living in a body that wasn’t configured correctly for the persons they felt themselves to be. Does it seem strange to me? Sure. Because I’ve never felt that way and don’t personally know anyone who has (to my knowledge). That’s why I read such books. To understand better. I’m very grateful that there are trans folks out there who are willing to try to help people like me understand what it is to be like them. If I do meet someone who has this kind of background, I hope I’ll be in a better position to understand and be as supportive or as indifferent to it as they need me to be.
This book was a refreshing change to read. It was told through the perspectives of multiple characters and was easy to read. The fact that it was a true story made it even better. I would recommend this book to anyone as it was very well written.
This book was well written by a person who is transgender and had struggled with making the complete change from girl to boy. I was very interested in his journey.
This was very moving. A family with four kids has a girl who at first just seems to be just a tomboy but slowly becomes more and more uncomfortable with being a girl. At some point she goes ahead and has her breasts removed, a quite serious surgery. Fortunately, her parents are supportive but apparently 40% of parents throw those kids out of the house with some committing suicide. Towards the end they are making progress in convincing people to pass laws not to discriminate against transgender and LGBT people, but then under Trump and like here in Tennessee their progress has been undone,for example with the bathroom debate saying they need to use bathrooms according to the gender they were born with. This makes no sense. How would women feel when a man enters their bathroom and vice versa. I believe Biden has already undone some of those rules made by Trump. For example, they cannot serve in the army or receive medical attention. It is an extremely well written book and yes at times brought me to tears.
This was a great way to read of the life of a transgender life and family. It was very well written
A moving, engaging journey of a transgender son and his family.
This is an enlightening and inspiring page-turner! Even though we know how this book ends from the title—Jeremy transitions from being seen as a girl in his youth to claiming his identity as a boy as a young adult—the emerging of his awareness and embodiment of his boy-ness took many steps, and I kept reading to find out what they would be. As a reader, I felt taken along with him on his journey, deeply invested in his struggles and joys, and let in on the nuances of gender identity. The author, Jo Ivester, included not only Jeremy’s perspective but her own journey as well as the experiences of her husband and Jeremy’s brothers and sisters, so the final effect is a skillfully woven family memoir. This is a transgender story with the ideal family – prosperous parents who have created a stable, loving family of four children, a mother who was a civil rights activist and rebellious tomboy, uncles and aunts who were gay, a father who stands up for LGBTQ equality alongside his wife, and a family who wanted to be accepting of Jeremy’s changes. But even this family faced personal struggles to get to that acceptance, and political struggles to make sure that their transgender son would be safe. Their story highlights both the value of family support and the continuing need for cultural understanding and political protection, so it was inspiring that the family became advocates for the rights of all transgender and LGBTQ people, especially those who do not have the support of families like theirs.
I just finished reading ONCE A GIRL, ALWAYS A BOY, and it’s an absolutely riveting tale. I purchased the book because I was looking for something current about being transgender–I’m an author of a long running series and have wanted to include a transgender character in a story. It’s an idea that’s been percolating for ages, but when I saw this book, it sounded like something that would help me create a fully formed character. It’s done so much more. I just finished reading it, and my first thought was how lucky Jeremy was to be born into a family so able to love and accept. Too often that’s not the case for LGBTQA people.
Jo Ivester has done a beautiful job detailing her son’s journey from life as Emily, a serious tomboy, to Jeremy, the young man, with portions written by Jeremy’s father and his siblings, as well as Jeremy. Jeremy’s chapters, beginning with his feelings about always wanting to be a boy even from the time he was very young, through puberty and into young adulthood, give the reader a very personal window into the internal dialog that was so much a part of Jeremy’s decisions. It’s an emotional read, and definitely a “feel good” story of not only Jeremy’s growth as he transitions, but his family’s as well.
I definitely recommend this book. It’s beautifully done and I had a hard time putting it down.
This book deserves every one of the 5-stars I have given it. Once a Girl, Always a Boy is a well-written, enlightening, open and honest family memoir that helps readers understand gender identity and the issues surrounding it.
I applaud and admire Jeremy for being willing to share his entire story with us (complete with pictures!), beginning in young childhood through and beyond his transition. The reader is able to hear his voice at each stage of his journey and that is so brave and so engaging! To be privy to his thoughts as he questions and struggles with his identity and deals with the huge impacts, repercussions and changes is nothing short of a true gift. I love that the reader hears from each family member as well.
This book is filled with so many emotions and the author (Jeremy’s mother) is skilled at taking the reader through all of them. This book will go a long way in helping people truly relate to and understand the LGBT (I know there are more initials but don’t want to get them wrong!) community. Inspiring and heart-warming, a call to action, there is just so much about this book to admire and love!
My thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Books for allowing me to read a copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions expressed here are my own.