“Equal parts memoir, whodunit, and manual for living . . . a beautifully written, honest look at the forces of blood and bone that make us who we are, and how we make ourselves.” –Neil Gaiman
In his unique and engaging voice, the acclaimed actor of stage and screen shares the emotional story of his complicated relationship with his father and the deeply buried family secrets that shaped his … secrets that shaped his life and career.
A beloved star of stage, television, and film—“one of the most fun people in show business” (Time magazine)—Alan Cumming is a successful artist whose diversity and fearlessness is unparalleled. His success masks a painful childhood growing up under the heavy rule of an emotionally and physically abusive father—a relationship that tormented him long into adulthood.
When television producers in the UK approached him to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, Alan enthusiastically agreed. He hoped the show would solve a family mystery involving his maternal grandfather, a celebrated WWII hero who disappeared in the Far East. But as the truth of his family ancestors revealed itself, Alan learned far more than he bargained for about himself, his past, and his own father.
With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as a film, television, and theater star. At times suspenseful, deeply moving, and wickedly funny, Not My Father’s Son will make readers laugh even as it breaks their hearts.
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Well-written and illuminating of a very complicated father-son relationship, dovetailed with the story of his long-dead grandfather. Not a show-biz memoir, but personal and affecting.
Awesome read great look into his life
True account of actor/author Cumming’s life and roots of his personal identity – and the tragically human twist that left his true origins uncertain. Cumming’s own talent and skill with stories lets him simply, truly share what happened, and let the intrigues and melodrama take precedence over dramatic arts. A fine example of how the personal experience can be basis for universal relating. I listened to the audiobook version read by author – Wonderful!
I’m sorry, this book was not for me. Although I sympathize with the author with regard to his unhappy childhood, after about 4 chapters all I could think of was what is he going to whine about next? Okay, yes, he had a terrible father figure in his life. He had major unfairness in his life. Maybe had I read further, Mr. Cummings might have described a turning point in his life where he described a happier outlook. I just couldn’t make myself read any longer.
Interesting story, but needed a good edit.
Loved it! Gives much insight in to how his early life shaped him. Difficult to tead about his painful childhood, butwell-written. Glad he shared his story.
Interesting premise but I was expecting more about him. Your parents shape who you are but not necessarily what you become.
Highly recommend. I can’t say I enjoyed most of the book, as it brought back serious memories of my own childhood; however, I appreciated the realism, raw emotion, and ultimate transformation from victim to victor.
The author takes you back into his childhood without plunging you completely into darkness. There are dark moments in this book, but they quickly move into related events. If you are an adult survivor of child abuse, read this now. His is a story of renewal and empowerment. For anyone else, it may help you understand the lasting effects of abuse and cruelty during childhood. Mr. Cumming’s honesty and vulnerability in sharing his life make this story one of my favorites… next to my own, of course.
A fascinating memoir, a tragic story about a dysfunctional family, and a testament to a resilient personality!
I liked this memoir so much I bought two copies to send to friends.
The author’s honesty and humanity shines throughout.
It is heart warming to see how he overcame his abusive early life. It is wonderfully well written and I recommend it highly.
Very honest, I felt like Alan was sharing his story like telling a friend. His dad was a real piece of work.
Book was very boring
Some people look at other people and think, “oh, he’s got a dream life or look at him, such an easy life, no worries.” So along comes talented, photogenic, actor on tv, movies and plays, Alan Cumming to set the record straight on his life.
Alan starts off with a bang, describing his childhood, relationships with his mom, brother and dad. Then lets you in as he is being filmed for a series about his geneology….his mom’s dad and his mysterious death and at the same time Alan is worried about what might be brought up about his dad. The title should give you pause…..would you want this man to be your dad ….would you prefer to believe you are not his son?
This is a wrenching look at how Alex, the dad, treated Alan as he grew up. And it shows how his mother and brother tried to keep a “family” ……this trio hang on and remain so close and loving.
Alan proves to be a remarkable person, full of love, living to the fullest, appreciating childhood games he never could play as a youth. This biography shows how to survive abuse and not become bitter. Alan shows you the inside of acting, being famous, and still deal with family pain. Alan is grounded and pragmatic and the real reason he has so many different hair styles and colors is described in detail …a hellish moment in time …..with his dad.
His mom, Mary Darling, has always wondered about her father and why he never came home after the war. Alan does the show “Who do you think you are?” to find the answers for his mother.
Once you start this book, you won’t put it down. An in depth look at his childhood and his family, a terrific biography with heart!!
This is a wonderfully written book on how Allen Cummings overcame a childhood of abuse. I’m not usually interested in actors writting books but this one is different.
The writing will keep you wanting to read more. I won’t spoil the end but to me his courage put this book at the top of anylist.
On BookBub promotion, the personal story told by Alan Cumming is touching and sometimes shocking. More than just a triumph over adversity story, it exposes the roots of what have made Cumming a fearless creator and actor. I liked him before but I really admire how he turns his personal lemons into lemonade…and you have to love his hair obsession! A sensitive and interesting memoir.
Who could have guessed that such a tragic beginning would produce such a treasure? Alan Cummings tells a familiar story, that many of us wish we didn’t recognize so easily, with artistry and humor. It is absolutely a must read for anyone trying to make sense of a dysfunctional/narcissistic family.
This book takes you on an emotional roller coaster. Alan really shows you what it was like growing up with an abusive father. And how in his way he found peace and happiness.
I read this and loved it so much that I bought the audiobook to hear the author tell his story himself. Such a heartfelt glimpse into the story behind the man. Mr. Cumming is a well-known, talented actor but I think it’s important to note he’s an amazing author as well.