“Equal parts memoir, whodunit, and manual for living . . . a beautifully written, honest look at the forces of blood and bone that make us who we are, and how we make ourselves.” –Neil Gaiman
In his unique and engaging voice, the acclaimed actor of stage and screen shares the emotional story of his complicated relationship with his father and the deeply buried family secrets that shaped his … secrets that shaped his life and career.
A beloved star of stage, television, and film—“one of the most fun people in show business” (Time magazine)—Alan Cumming is a successful artist whose diversity and fearlessness is unparalleled. His success masks a painful childhood growing up under the heavy rule of an emotionally and physically abusive father—a relationship that tormented him long into adulthood.
When television producers in the UK approached him to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, Alan enthusiastically agreed. He hoped the show would solve a family mystery involving his maternal grandfather, a celebrated WWII hero who disappeared in the Far East. But as the truth of his family ancestors revealed itself, Alan learned far more than he bargained for about himself, his past, and his own father.
With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as a film, television, and theater star. At times suspenseful, deeply moving, and wickedly funny, Not My Father’s Son will make readers laugh even as it breaks their hearts.
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How is it that so many funny people have had terrible childhoods. Particularly so for those who are gay. Still, Alan writes dispassionately about his own childhood, and writes well, so his story is an interesting read.
The bond of parent to child has a mythology of sacred trust, a bond handed down through the ages that we blindly believe is there because the very necessity of the species to propagate itself requires the protection of infants to at the very least to mid teens where a child could begin to take care of itself or find partners and others.
Sometimes the wiring is cut, it doesn’t exist. Or is in fact twisted.
This is a book about a man, a successful man, trying to find out why the father he got was one of those twisted fathers. One of the ones who could have killed him instead.
Provided great insight into the personal life of a very public person and his path to success and the search for his father. A sad testament to the lengths an abuser will go to justify his abuse. Well done.
Poor Alan. Why do certain abusers have kids.
This book resonated deeply with me..Alan’s father was a despicable man..he reminded me of my grandfather..each and every page I could feel Alan’s pain..Why would they detest a child..their own flesh and blood?
Linda Crisp
I thought the book was well written. From a sad childhood in many ways to a very honest storytelling person, and a talented actor.
How cUMMING SURVIVED his childhood is not fun to read. Given the choice, I’m not sure Ishould have read it. I like his on-screen persona.
Alan Cumming overcame his father’s abusive behavior while finding his own heritage. He writes with wit and honesty. Even when reading how Alan was treated, you see his resilience and keep rooting for him. I began the book knowing little about him and finished liking and respecting him.
I read this book when it first came out. A interesting true story from one of today’s talented actors.
Wonderful book. Highly recommend
Wonderful story about a great actor
I enjoyed this book. I liked Alan cumming even more.
Very interesting book about one of my favorite actors. It only made me admire him more.
Alan honestly and openly shares his life story. While trying to navigate the relationship with his father he shares the story of a grandfather he never knew. He makes the case that secrets can only harm you so living an honest open life is the best policy for everyone.
Alan Cumming’s life and relationship with his family was an interesting study in family dynamics. He had much to overcome and did. The journey was interesting and I admire his strength and how well he turned a difficult childhood into a well adjusted adulthood.
I have always enjoy Alan Cumming’s acting in movies. I picked this up to find out more about the man. This is a page turner–by turns witty, tragic and sad, and happy. Many times we see actors as an extension of their roles. This book allowed me to see the real Alan Cumming and the life he led that made him the actor and man that he is today. It was a great read and I recommend it for anyone who likes autobiographies.
I had this on an audio book from Overdrive.com (Libby App for offline) and I finished it in 3 days in-between my busy schudule. I had a similar childhood and got the support from my sisters. Thank you for writing this book.
Revelatory and Honest Insight
With honesty and compassion for his wounded self, Alan Cumming delves into revelations about his family in the context of filming his episode of “Who Do You Think You Are?”. Cumming articulates the mysteries surrounding abuse, giving readers with similar background some answers to the many why’s. Sometimes there is no understanding, only acceptance.
Interesting and self revealing,
I loved it, was very similar to my life with my father. Made me cry a few times.