“Equal parts memoir, whodunit, and manual for living . . . a beautifully written, honest look at the forces of blood and bone that make us who we are, and how we make ourselves.” –Neil Gaiman
In his unique and engaging voice, the acclaimed actor of stage and screen shares the emotional story of his complicated relationship with his father and the deeply buried family secrets that shaped his … secrets that shaped his life and career.
A beloved star of stage, television, and film—“one of the most fun people in show business” (Time magazine)—Alan Cumming is a successful artist whose diversity and fearlessness is unparalleled. His success masks a painful childhood growing up under the heavy rule of an emotionally and physically abusive father—a relationship that tormented him long into adulthood.
When television producers in the UK approached him to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, Alan enthusiastically agreed. He hoped the show would solve a family mystery involving his maternal grandfather, a celebrated WWII hero who disappeared in the Far East. But as the truth of his family ancestors revealed itself, Alan learned far more than he bargained for about himself, his past, and his own father.
With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as a film, television, and theater star. At times suspenseful, deeply moving, and wickedly funny, Not My Father’s Son will make readers laugh even as it breaks their hearts.
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Some people look at other people and think, “oh, he’s got a dream life or look at him, such an easy life, no worries.” So along comes talented, photogenic, actor on tv, movies and plays, Alan Cumming to set the record straight on his life.
Alan starts off with a bang, describing his childhood, relationships with his mom, brother and dad. Then lets you in as he is being filmed for a series about his geneology….his mom’s dad and his mysterious death and at the same time Alan is worried about what might be brought up about his dad. The title should give you pause…..would you want this man to be your dad ….would you prefer to believe you are not his son?
This is a wrenching look at how Alex, the dad, treated Alan as he grew up. And it shows how his mother and brother tried to keep a “family” ……this trio hang on and remain so close and loving.
Alan proves to be a remarkable person, full of love, living to the fullest, appreciating childhood games he never could play as a youth. This biography shows how to survive abuse and not become bitter. Alan shows you the inside of acting, being famous, and still deal with family pain. Alan is grounded and pragmatic and the real reason he has so many different hair styles and colors is described in detail …a hellish moment in time …..with his dad.
His mom, Mary Darling, has always wondered about her father and why he never came home after the war. Alan does the show “Who do you think you are?” to find the answers for his mother.
Once you start this book, you won’t put it down. An in depth look at his childhood and his family, a terrific biography with heart!!
This is a wonderfully written book on how Allen Cummings overcame a childhood of abuse. I’m not usually interested in actors writting books but this one is different.
The writing will keep you wanting to read more. I won’t spoil the end but to me his courage put this book at the top of anylist.
On BookBub promotion, the personal story told by Alan Cumming is touching and sometimes shocking. More than just a triumph over adversity story, it exposes the roots of what have made Cumming a fearless creator and actor. I liked him before but I really admire how he turns his personal lemons into lemonade…and you have to love his hair obsession! A sensitive and interesting memoir.
Who could have guessed that such a tragic beginning would produce such a treasure? Alan Cummings tells a familiar story, that many of us wish we didn’t recognize so easily, with artistry and humor. It is absolutely a must read for anyone trying to make sense of a dysfunctional/narcissistic family.
This book takes you on an emotional roller coaster. Alan really shows you what it was like growing up with an abusive father. And how in his way he found peace and happiness.
I read this and loved it so much that I bought the audiobook to hear the author tell his story himself. Such a heartfelt glimpse into the story behind the man. Mr. Cumming is a well-known, talented actor but I think it’s important to note he’s an amazing author as well.
Extremely boring; many of us have had a difficult dysfunctional early life. That’s life.
The horror and heartbreak of Mr. Cumming’s childhood and youth are balanced by his intelligence, resilience and joy in his adult life and career.
Like biographies. People are the most interesting subjects and this one did surprise me a great deal.
Great, sad, hopeful tale.
A bio that tells all
Really liked this book. I don’t usually read celebrity bios, but I do like Alan Cumming and decided to try it. It is more like a novel than a bio. No gossiping, just a great story he tells about one part of his life. Fascinating.
I love Alan Cumming, and this book was one of the best biographies/memoirs. It was sad, inspirational, heart warming, heart wrenching, and insightful as to what made him the incredible man he is to this day. I definitely recommend this book.
How is it that so many funny people have had terrible childhoods. Particularly so for those who are gay. Still, Alan writes dispassionately about his own childhood, and writes well, so his story is an interesting read.
The bond of parent to child has a mythology of sacred trust, a bond handed down through the ages that we blindly believe is there because the very necessity of the species to propagate itself requires the protection of infants to at the very least to mid teens where a child could begin to take care of itself or find partners and others.
Sometimes the wiring is cut, it doesn’t exist. Or is in fact twisted.
This is a book about a man, a successful man, trying to find out why the father he got was one of those twisted fathers. One of the ones who could have killed him instead.
Provided great insight into the personal life of a very public person and his path to success and the search for his father. A sad testament to the lengths an abuser will go to justify his abuse. Well done.
Poor Alan. Why do certain abusers have kids.
This book resonated deeply with me..Alan’s father was a despicable man..he reminded me of my grandfather..each and every page I could feel Alan’s pain..Why would they detest a child..their own flesh and blood?
Linda Crisp
I thought the book was well written. From a sad childhood in many ways to a very honest storytelling person, and a talented actor.
How cUMMING SURVIVED his childhood is not fun to read. Given the choice, I’m not sure Ishould have read it. I like his on-screen persona.