Through eight humorous essays, Keturah Kendrick chronicles her journey to freedom. She shares the stories of other women who have freed themselves from the narrow definition of what makes a “proper woman.” Spotlighting the cultural bullying that dictates women must become mothers to the expectation that one’s spiritual path follow the traditions of previous generations, Kendrick imagines a world … world where black women make life choices that center on their needs and desires. She also examines the rising trend of women choosing to remain single and explores how such a choice is the antithesis to the trope of the sorrowful black woman who cannot find a man to grant her the prize of legal partnership. A mixture of memoir and cultural critique, No Thanks uses wit and insight to paint a picture of the twenty-first-century black woman who has unchained herself from what she is supposed to be. A black woman who has given herself permission to be whomever she wants to be.
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While the target audience for this book is black women, as a white woman, I found it fascinating and related to many of the points she made. I also found it enlightening as I was not aware of the social pressures black women face in their communities about having children, following religion, and putting men first, several of the topics she touches on. These were many of the same issues I dealt with growing up in the 60’s and 70’s and now I have a better understanding of why they say that women’s liberation of that era did not include black women.
This is a well written and researched book, drawing from both the author’s personal experiences as well as many others she interviewed, and research that she conducted that she references. I loved her voice and the way she conveyed the voices of others to tell her story.
I did find some parts of the book repetitive, but since each is an individual essay, it makes sense that she revisits a number of the same themes under different circumstances.
I highly recommend this book.
No Thanks: Black, Free and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone by Keturah Kendrick is a collection of eight essay as Ms. Kendrick chronicles her journey to freedom. She shares her stories as well as the stories of other women who have freed themselves “from the narrow definition of what makes a ‘proper woman.’” Ms. Kendrick especially puts a spotlight on the cultural bullying that puts pressures on women to become wives and others and the expectation that one must follow the spiritual traditions of previous generations. Through her wit and humor, Ms. Kendrick speaks directly to black women as she imagines a world where black women can like choices that center on their needs and desires rather than the choices society offers them. No Thanks is a mixture of memoir and cultural critique to paint the 21st century black woman free from the chains of someone else’s expectations.
Even though I am not Ms. Kendrick’s target audience, I enjoyed her candor and wit as she examines her fight to live her life her way. Right off the bat, she tells her readers that our families, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc, are not entitled or allowed to edit the “blueprint” or path of our lives in order to suit their wants and desires. She even dives into the growing criticism of the selfishness of women who choose not to have children. While I have always known that I wanted to be a wife and mother, I have never thought of another woman who didn’t want the same as selfish. The essays are short and easy to read. I found her very interesting and even when I didn’t agree with all of her premises, she was clear about her reasons. I recommend No Thanks.
No Thanks: Black, Free and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone is available in paperback and eBook.
The author explains the decisions she made on what she wanted in life, and, even when there was pressure to change, to conform, she held to her decisions. I enjoyed reading this.
Long winded though interesting
It would be easy to mistake Keturah as arrogant or even condescending but it would be a mistake to do so. Rather, she is an educated, confident, self-aware woman with healthy boundaries. I liked her right away.
4.5
“I wrote this book because twenty years ago I needed to read it.”
From the first line of this book, I was hooked. It was the perfect mix of memoir and cultural critique. In fact, I found it so interesting I devoured it in an afternoon. I loved that this book was focused on how Kendrick did it her way, saying no to the traditional expectations of motherhood, marriage, religion, and more.
Though I read it relatively quickly, so many parts of this book have stayed with me. I loved this book about feminism, culture and eschewing the norms. I loved how candidly Kendrick described her experiences as a Black woman and the expectations put on her. This one is a must read, especially for young women trying to figure out what they want from life and feeling stuck.
(I received a copy in exchange for my honest review.)
No Thanks, Black Female and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone was an enjoyable well written memoir.
The memoir is broken up into 8 different sections, all of them are distinct and different.
I appreciate how the author spoke about how she was going to live her life the way she wanted to and not how society or cultural norms expected her to. She never wanted to have children and only wanted to marry for love not because it was what was expected of her.
She made choices that were good for her regardless of what society dictates.
A well written memoir that gives great examples of how the author lives her life unapologetically
Keturah Kendrick, the author of “No Thanks, Black Female and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone, had written an intriguing memoir. There are about 8 essays describing the author’s unique perspective of being a black woman and owning her life and making her decisions. Keturah Kendrick compares her believes with traditional cultural standards.
The author makes no bones about it. She has never wanted or will want to have children and be a mother. She mentions how culturally she is regarded as selfish. She doesn’t want to belong to anyone but herself. The same thing when it comes to marrying, she goes against the cultural standards. She will marry for love, but not have to change for anyone but herself.
I appreciate that the author gives examples of friends and other acquaintances and their views. The author also enjoys the friendship and chooses friends that are right for her. The author also has chosen a religion that she is comfortable with. Again, it is something she wants. The theme for this memoir is like the song “I Just Want to Be Me”
Kudos to Keturah Kendrick for making and owning her decisions about her life that make her happy.
Thank you Keturah Kendrick for giving me this book to read and review. This review is my honest opinion and nothing more. u2063
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I know this book is targeted towards black women, but much of it applies to women in general. I quite enjoy her views on things and believe women from all walks of life should give it a read. Her unique perspective is refreshing. u2063
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When she wrote, “This is exactly what many of these selfish black women are doing: Reading books. Watching shows. Drinking wine. Spending hours lying in bed being spooned by the same men they are denying offspring. Sitting in cafés, drinking coffee, eating muffins and shit.”. I thought to myself EXACTLY! I am envious of those women. As a wife and mother of 4, that sounds like a dream to me. I love my husband and children dearly but I will love retirement when it comes. u2063
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She is selfish. u2063
She is acting like herself. u2063
Oh, what a precious privilege. u2063
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It also pushes the envelope where religion is concerned. I won’t touch that. I don’t believe in religion personally. I believe what I believe and it is personal to me and me alone. u2063
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Your words have touched me Keturah. I may not agree with everything you wrote, but I can definitely see your standpoint and I admire you for choosing your own path and not letting anyone push you off on their path instead.u2063
Black women do not need permission to live out loud. But sometimes we need assurance ― confirmation that we are free, despite persistent attempts to make us otherwise. No Thanks is a powerful assurance. All young black women should read it; old ones, too. With this book, Keturah Kendrick powerfully illustrates the radical notion that black women can have abundant, fulfilling, and connected lives, powered by our own humanity and desires. This is the revolution and the revolutionary that we need now.