They say soulmates don’t exist. But they’ve never met Nick Sawyer…Eli: In my defense, I didn’t think I’d see Nick again. If I had, I would never have kissed him.I got a fake ID because I was bored, not because I planned on meeting anyone. But from the moment I saw Nick–all tall, dark, and librarian-y, with hardcover books falling out of his messenger bag and eyes that made me forget how to … messenger bag and eyes that made me forget how to breathe–I knew I needed to know him better.
So maybe I told a little white lie about my birthday. And maybe I went into the city again, and again, just so I could run into him. And maybe, on that last morning, I kissed him, because I knew it was goodbye.
Except, turns out, it wasn’t. Whoops.
Only now, I have to spend the rest of the year working with Nick, and it’s clear he wishes we’d never met. He says I have to move on, but the more I get to know him, the more impossible that seems. How do you move on from someone as strong and smart and sweet as Nick? How do you get over the first person who’s told you that you matter?
And what the hell do you do when, out of nowhere, he kisses you again?
“I can’t keep fighting this. I need you. I need us.”
Nick: I tried to keep my distance. I tried to forget that kiss. I tried to remind myself how dangerous it was, just being around Eli. How much I was putting in jeopardy.
I tried… but I never stood a chance.
Eli is everything I’m not. Reckless and wild, where all I’ve ever been is cautious. Open and loving, where I’ve only ever been scared. Willing to take risks, to be vulnerable, to be brave. I want to be brave enough to deserve him.
I know it’s wrong, but before I know it, I’ve fallen for this crazy, beautiful boy and his ocean-blue eyes. Before I know it, I’m kissing him again.
“I’d take it all back if I could.” That’s what I’m supposed to say. But the truth is, I wouldn’t. I would choose Eli every time.
Even if it means losing everything.
Nick, Very Deeply is Book 5 in the 8 Million Hearts series. While each book can be read on its own, they’re even more fun to read together. Nick, Very Deeply is a 135,000 word m/m romance full of snark, sweetness, and a healthy serving of steam. Teacher/student and hurt/comfort themes with a delicious slow burn. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed HEA.more
When Love is Forbidden (an audio review)
Okay, so this was my first Spencer Spears audio and I promise it will not be the last. Wow. Just, wow.
When I say forbidden love, I should be clear. Teacher/student is always a power imbalance. Depending on the age of the student, it might also be illegal. This book skirts that line. Eli is nineteen – a fairly mature nineteen – but he’s also a high school senior. For obvious reasons he doesn’t disclose this to Nick, and when Nick is put in a position of responsibility over Eli, he knows it’s wrong. How Nick acts after this discovery can be seen through several lenses and I leave it up to the reader to decide how they feel about his decision.
But obviously he’s not going to be Eli’s teacher forever and the question is – once the power dynamic dissipates…what then? Well, this is a sixteen-hour audio, so obviously they get together. And this is a romance so it has a happy ending. But it is, to be sure, a struggle to get there. Eli is a sensitive soul, and that called to me on so many levels. Misunderstood by his caring but clueless parents, his friends take better care of him. And when he and Nick connect? It brings a whole new level of love to his life.
But there are obstacles. Nick is reluctant to introduce Eli to his friends because of their former association. And Eli is planning to attend Rencliffe College in Minnesota. Nick has to stay in New Jersey for heartbreaking reasons. How’s that supposed to work? I wondered if the relationship might become long-distance for the time it took Eli to get a degree, but I knew his emotional state would be too fragile for that. How to overcome the distance? The differences? Nick is studying a Master’s of Divinity with an eye toward ordination. He knows religion is his path, and he’s had many placements, be he hasn’t settled on what a career might look like. Will he find guidance to lead him to a successful career path?
Finally, this is book 5 in a series and I admit to not having read the previous four. No worries at all. Aside from the fact Nick has close friends who obviously had stories of their own, I was never lost. Never at sea. This story is truly rooted in Nick and Eli. In them finding their own happily ever after. Finding a future that works for both of them.
I want to mention the firs chapter. It was an hour. Near the end of it, I’d decided the whole book must be in Eli’s point of view. Never fear, Nick eventually got his turn. But wow it took a while to get there. The structure of the book – with alternating POV chapters – worked, it just took time to settle into that routine. Just a heads-up.
Did I sigh happily at the end of the epilogue? I might have. Will I go back and pick up the other books? Of that you can have no doubt. Do I recommend this book? Yep. Whole-heartedly. And finally I’ll mention Michael Fell. I enjoy his narrations and he hit all the right notes with the performance. Yes, the book is long, but totally worth the listen.
Nick, Very Deeply by Spencer Spears is the fifth book five in the 8 Million Hearts series. Snarky, sweet, and slow burning steamy, this story is fantastic with a lot of emotion. Definitely a story that will have readers crying and tgen laughing… and loving it. The characters are fun and well developed.
Michael Fell is the Narrator and does a fantastic job with voicework. The performance and recording is smooth and clear and very enjoyable.
Nick, Very Deeply is the fifth and last book in the 8 Million Hearts series, and gathers all the threads of the previous four books and brings them together. Plus, we find out why the series was named 8 Million Hearts, which was a cute touch. Although I don’t recommend reading this book without reading the first four books previously. This is a series that works best if read in order.
Nick has been an important and pivotal character throughout the series: he’s been the voice of reason and a source of comfort. But, despite his calm and reasoned advice, we’ve known Nick has been struggling with his own issues. Nick has fallen in love with a young man he felt that he shouldn’t have: Eli. Eli, although an adult, is younger Nick and still figuring out his future, but he knows he loves Nick. It should be simple: Nick loves Eli and Eli loves Nick—but nothing is ever that simple and it’ll take major work from both men to overcome their personal issues and make their relationship work. There is a lot of drama and internal crises, but the romance and love shine brightly throughout the story. Plus there is a lot of cute, fluffy moments, funny banter, and steamy love scenes.
The audiobook was narrated by Michael Fell, who did a much better job narrating this audiobook than some of his other work. I can definitely tell Michael has grown as a narrator and his performance was really pleasant to listen to.
This book was absolutely wonderful, as all this series have been.
We finally find out everything about Nick, the intriguing, if mysreryous character from the previous books. Always there, but not front and center: on the sideline, but ready to step in and help whenever he’s needed. That’s Nick for you!
Eli is a total sweetheart; of course he’s barely out of teenage years, so he’s not the more centered character to begin with, but he’s sweet and fun and enthusiastic and just absolutely adorable!
Nick and Eli broke my heart then put it back together, only to then do that all over again, in an emotional rollercoarster that was as beautiful at it was painful.
I loved both characters, even if I didn’t aagree to their choices or behaviours sometimes; the great thing about Spencer Spears’s writing is that he transports me so deep oìinto the characters’ lives and stories, that I really felt the helplessness of their situation, I couldn’t see a way out and when they suffered I felt the hole in my gut, too.
Of course Michael Fell narration added the proverbial cherry to the top to make this wonderful book even greater!
Mystery man on the train platform: will he break Eli’s heart?!
December 27, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition
4 and a bit stars
Mega angsty, with lots of repressed passion leading to incrementally increasing steamy encounters. So much angst and so many self-created obstacles that it’s a wonder the relationship doesn’t implode early on.
Eli, the 19 year-old high school student who can’t resist a stranger in a train station, was, for me, the more sympathetic of the two heroes. I liked his energy and optimism, though he does keep pushing the envelope. Nick, his train station mystery man, is a divinity student in his mid-twenties who keeps fighting their attraction. To me, Nick takes his concern about their age and maturity gap too far. He’s so concerned about doing the proper thing yet the temptation to yield is too strong. The way he sabotages things for himself seems a martyr move that is also a bit patronizing, as if he considers Eli incapable of acting in his own self interest.
I liked the plot but felt the story could have been shorter. The angsty encounters and ruminations went on a bit too long.
This is a great series and author Spencer Spears an able writer who creates complex characters with emotional depth. Gray For Me, the second book in the series, remains my hands-down favorite, but this is a solid addition. Each book is fine as a standalone though they all center around the same group of NYC friends and their love lives.
I read a complimentary advance copy of the book; this is my voluntary and honest review.
This emotional, heartwarming MM romance was an absolute pleasure to read & I really would recommend it.
The plot is well-written with unexpected incidents. The characters have individual personalities with some distinctive, individual traits & different sides to their personalities.
It is about: two young men (Eli) & (Nick) who get involved with each other, they both make some unwise decisions that affect their outlook on life as they continue to develop throughout the story.
There is: some twists, drama, deceit, attractions, confusion, memories, regrets, controlling parents, vulnerability, manipulations, anger, verbal conflict, decisions, misunderstandings, emotional turmoil, sadness, heartache, caring friends, a mother’s apology, complications, confrontation, attempted apology, explanations, anger, hopelessness, guilt, realization, compromises, declaration, laughter, happiness, love, some steam and a satisfying ending.
Brilliant narration but long winded book.
Personally I think this book could have been cut by at least a quarter.
The story was good but so long winded, the first half dragged. The last half kept me going and made the book worth reading.
I liked the characters and the story, but found it was padded out far too much.
We do get a HEA.
Fantastic narration by Michael Fell.
Nick, Very Deeply
8 Million Hearts, Book 5
By: Spencer Spears
Narrated by: Michael Fell
Length: 15 hrs and 54 mins
Overall
Narration
Story
Read at 1.15 speed on Audible