“Hilarious, full of friendship and romance with a huge side-order of comedy. Perfect light hearted escapism!” Kitty French, USA Today bestselling author.Abbie Carter felt doomed as she clutched her bouquet and started walking up the aisle. Again. She felt like she was stuck in some kind of Groundhog Day wedding nightmare. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Eight dresses, most of them … dresses, most of them hideous, were already stuffed in her attic space. She had more bridesmaid dresses than relationships. Was she really that unlucky in love? She despaired of ever finding her soul mate and was convinced that if she packed away dress thirteen in her attic, she’d never get to wear the coveted white one and have her happy ever after.
That was until she locked eyes with one of the handsome ushers, whose wink turned her elegant and well-practiced glide up the aisle into a flailing Bambi-on-ice spectacle. Miller Davis was the first man in forever to make her heart skip a beat, as well as her legs turn to jelly. And, for once, her interest in a man didn’t seem to be one-sided. It was just a shame that the Atlantic Ocean separated them. Abbie couldn’t even make a relationship with her elderly fat pooch, Sumo, work, so what chance did she have with a permanent New Yorker? Her best friend, Georgie, told her to ignore the miles that separated her from Miller and to go for it, saying that true love knew no bounds.
Was Abbie fated to always be the bridesmaid, or would her wish for the perfect day with the man of her dreams ever come true?
A laugh-out-loud novel from Charlotte Fallowfield, Amazon U.K. #1 bestselling contemporary romance author of Until We Collide.
While Never The Bride is a standalone story, it’s the first in the Dilbury Village series of romantic comedy novels. All of them will be set in the quaint fictitious English hamlet in the Shropshire countryside, but feature a different village couples’ story.
Warning, if you are of a sensitive disposition when it comes to toilet humour, then the Dilbury Village series may not be for you!
Praise:
“Hilarious, full of friendship and romance with a huge side-order of comedy. Perfect light hearted escapism!” – Kitty French, USA Today bestselling author.
“Charlotte Fallowfield infuses this story with a rare blend of humour, angst and romance that’s makes this a laugh out loud can’t stop read.” – Obsessed by Books.
“I have never laughed so hard reading a book before in my entire life.” – Mad About Books.
“I laughed so much I cried in this book; it was fabulous and I couldn’t put it down” – MI Bookshelf
“This book has to be one of my top 10 reads.” – Surrender to Books.
“‘A can’t put it down’ type of book.” – Rock Hard Romance.
“Flawless, hilarious perfection! The funniest book I have read in such a long time.” – Lady Living in Bookland.
“This story was so good. It was a funny and touching romance.” – The Next Great Read.
“Charlotte Fallowfield has such a wicked sense of humour.” – Gothic Angel Reviews.
“The book is a rollercoaster ride of emotions and humour! This read just about killed with me laughter.” – A Readers Review.more
DEFINATLY A PAGE TURNER, SUCH A GREAT READ…
Don’t waste your time or money. This book was overly drawn out and boring. The humor was not humor, but quite gross. Maybe 1 or 2 references would have been okay, but the gross humor continued throughout the entire book, and it just WAS NOT FUNNY. I have no idea why anyone would give this a 5 star rating. It was horrible and I definitely won’t be reading any more from this author.
The perfect book for when you need something easy and uplifting. The tale is a usual romance story, but the characters are nivel, and the story is nice.
Fun read with well-rounded characters. Didn’t want it to end.
Got a little repetitious
It is a great book that I cannot put down. I really enjoy the humor and romance and mystery all in one.
I really enjoyed the mishaps along the way and the sense of humor displayed by the main character’s musing. Great read!!
Any author who can LITERALLY make me laugh out loud -repeatedly- is going to be a favorite. I don’t generally care for “toilet” humor; but this author hones in on universally embarrassing moments that are just hysterical. The characters are real. I felt the nervousness, angst, and joy right along with them. Love her work!
Loved it
funny
An honest laugh out loud comedy!
I thoroughly enjoyed the book, though I thought it was a little lengthy. I went on to read the others in the series.
Such a hilarious story that kept me laughing throughout the whole book!
Good funny read for a rainy day. It will chear you right up
One toilet scene too many. Otherwise would be a 5.
Made me laugh with unicorns and pythons and all kinds of British humor, some of which likely went over my head. Eager to learn more depth of the stories of other characters.
This was the first book by this author I’d read after a friend recommended I read it. Well I will start by saying i was definately not disappointed at all. loved reading it all full of funny lol moments would definnately recommend to everyone to go give it a read deffo worth more than 5 stars I’ve given it ……
Favorite Quotes:
You’re the nightmare bridesmaid, the one who always hates the dress… you do have a face like a smacked arse each time you walk up the aisle in one of those monstrosities.
… not even for my closed casket funeral… I wouldn’t even want someone to have to try and dress my stiff body in this hideous creation. Seeing my naked corpse would be torture enough for the undertaker, let alone in this… this… I have no words, Georgie, that’s how bad it is… I look like I just threw up a family sized bag of Skittles all over myself.
You’re beautiful, Abbie, but lately your mouth has been in a permanent resting trout pout.
I swear I’m going to kill her. I’m going to push her over the edge of the building. I’m going to bottle Sumo’s farts and send it to her as a new designer perfume. I’m going to pop her over-inflated tits with one of Daphne’s knitting needles.
Like you youngsters have the monopoly on sexy bedroom shenanigans… That book injected a bit of passion back into our lives and led to David’s hip replacement operation being moved forward. They couldn’t understand how it had worn down so fast from his last X-ray.
Seconds later, her top set of dentures flew across the room and landed with a plop in Rachel’s glass of champagne… ‘Thank goodness it wasn’t a bottom burp. At my age, you’ve got no chance of keeping in a five-course meal. We could have had a whole Mr. Sumo shart situation if the wrong end had blown.’
My Review:
Never the Bride was a pure delight and had me frequently giggle-snorting and barking loudly with gleeful mirth. I lost track of how many times I was forced to stop reading to catch my breath and wipe the copious tears of laughter from my eyes. Charlotte Fallowfield is a treasure and should have a monument of empty pens erected in her honor – posthaste! I have to admire and respect any author who writes herself into the story as a sexy vixen and purveyor of “salacious material.”
The storyline was ingenious, smartly written, and packed with captivating humor and vividly rendered antics. The writing was engaging and enticingly detailed with highly entertaining and exceedingly amusing descriptions. I adored every single word and mourned finishing. The characters were adorable, appealing, comical, and nothing short of endearing. I coveted the easy camaraderie between Abbie and Georgie, as well as their clever and witty banter. Abbie was a Calamity Jane type and prone to blurting out inappropriate comments and thoughts without realizing she was expressing them aloud. The narrative was also rife with encounters involving her toxically flatulent dog, Mr. Sumo. However, in addition to the comedy, there were themes of loss, love, and a recurring and particularly vile arch nemesis named Fi-Fi to contend with. I will be anxiously awaiting my return trip to Dilbury Village with the promised second installment later this year.
I got this book for free on BookBub and it was a quick read that I couldn’t put down. I purchased the second one and it is just as good. Very entertaining and it made me laugh. I also liked that it wasn’t just the happy ending and then the book ends. It gave you another chapter into the story to give you something to look forward to.
If you love British humor you will love this book!