INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“[An] exceedingly complex, inventive, resourceful examination of harm and power.” —The New York Times Book Review, Editors’ Choice
“A lightning rod . . . brilliantly crafted.”—The Washington Post
A most anticipated book by The New York Times • USA Today • Entertainment Weekly • Marie Claire • Elle • Harper’s Bazaar • Bustle • Newsweek • New York Post • … anticipated book by The New York Times • USA Today • Entertainment Weekly • Marie Claire • Elle • Harper’s Bazaar • Bustle • Newsweek • New York Post • Esquire • Real Simple • The Sunday Times • The Guardian
Exploring the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher, a brilliant, all-consuming read that marks the explosive debut of an extraordinary new writer.
2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher.
2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed?
Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, My Dark Vanessa juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. Thought-provoking and impossible to put down, this is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood. Written with the haunting intimacy of The Girls and the creeping intensity of Room, My Dark Vanessa is an era-defining novel that brilliantly captures and reflects the shifting cultural mores transforming our relationships and society itself.
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5 Dark and very messed up stars!
This book was so uncomfortably good! The author did a fabulous job with the victim’s perspective. It took me a long time to read because I put the thing down for a little while and read a happy romance. It was that unnerving for me. I would probably never read it again but am so glad I finished it the one time.
Reveals the ugliness of child predators and the lifelong destruction of the victim
It’s hard for me to say I loved a book about a girl’s relationship with her abusive teacher, so I’ll say I highly valued the experience of listening to this book. Grace Gummer’s narration brought Vanessa to life in ways I’m not sure I would have experienced on the page and made the difficult scenes between Vanessa and Strane all the more cringy.
At times heartbreaking and at times maddening, many women can relate to Vanessa’s story on some level as she tries to make sense of what happened to her during her sophomore year in high school. As much as it is obvious to the reader that Vanessa is not responsible for Strane’s behavior, it is understandable that she is so easily convinced that she is. I was struck by how many times Vanessa said “It’s fine” when nothing about her situation was fine and how easily she gave away parts of herself to make other people happy. Anyone who was ever been a fifteen-year-old girl can identify with Vanessa.
Kate Elizabeth Russell has created a rich cast of characters in My Dark Vanessa. Strane manipulates his way into Vanessa’s life long after high school was over, yet Russell writes him with such nuance that the reader gets sucked into his vortex along with Vanessa. I found it fascinating how, unlike another of Strane’s prey, Vanessa is uncomfortable in the role of victim. Her relationship with Strane had come to define her so if she relinquished her part in it, she may cease to exist at all. Vanessa seems to have lost the ability to have an honest relationship with a man or even know what that would feel like. Nothing is black and white in Vanessa’s world and Russell keeps the reader off kilter throughout.
I was in a reading slump, mostly due to the world going sideways, when I saw a promotion for this book. The premise, a teacher and an underage student who have “a relationship,” really intrigued me. I ordered it (from an indie bookstore!) and had it shipped.
Totally snapped me out of my slump.
This is dark and heavy. I was dumbfounded by now quickly Strane was able to groom Vanessa. He’s such a repugnant character but vulnerable. The question is whether that vulnerability is a reflection of a genuine moral dilemma he is experiencing or is it part of his performance to ensnare Vanessa? Did he really not take things with other students as far as he did with Vanessa? Did he eventually develop genuine feelings for her? If you believe he limited his abuse with these others, is that proof of those feelings? Proof that he did have some morality? I have no doubt his ending is totally for selfish purposes; the coward’s way out. He can’t face the consequences of his actions.
Vanessa is such a sad personality and I’m not sure how I feel about her. She obviously deserves sympathy. I eventually became a little bit annoyed with her hanging on to Strane well after it was necessary for her to have contact with him UNTIL the scene in Ruby’s office toward the end of the novel when she admits “I can’t lose the thing I’ve held on to for so long. You know?” My face twists up from the pain of pushing it out. “I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that.” That is how she was able to handle what happened to her and not completely fall apart; the difference between Vanessa walking around almost dead and actually being dead.
A Lolita for our time
My Dark Vanessa is a beautiful and subtly written contemporary Lolita for the #MeToo era and beyond. Moving back-and-forth between Vanessa’s life at 15 and her life at 32, the book succeeds in giving a complex and blurred depiction of a 15-year-old girl’s thrill at being singled out by her powerful male teacher, her romanticizing of the relationship he develops with her and to which, when carefully manipulated, she agrees to and even embraces. The reader is caught from the start between the innocent point of view of Vanessa and their own more critical view of what is happening. Russell’s ability to capture readers from the start has the capacity to implicate us and draw us more fully into the conflicts that embody the main character. Equally complex are the juxtaposing chapters of the 32-year-old Vanessa who has been unable to move beyond the relationship and the pain, humiliation, and frisson it gave her. An essential question for Vanessa both in her boarding school and as an adult is whether she should openly discuss “her abuse“ (put in quotation marks because she doesn’t regard it as such). The book is in part so successful because the reader, at least a female reader, is able to glimpse a rich spectrum of life changing events and emotions that motivate Vanessa and that hold her back from looking or speaking critically about her teacher or his ultimate treatment of her. Growing up in our culture that sexualizes girls way too soon and that saturates them with images of sexuality wherever they turn in the popular culture—film, music, videos, etc.—neither Vanessa nor the reader can find easy answers. Readers, often painfully, are pushed beyond simplistic, dichotomous views which are more comfortable to maintain but which the book continually interrogates, and, in turn, causes us to question the reasons why we as a culture allow, indeed, enable young girls to be abused.
I was absolutely thrilled to receive a copy of this NY Times Bestseller. It leaves a deep impression on the reader long after the book has finished. Profound, disturbing, and haunting, abuse is not everyone’s cup of tea. You’ll feel every layer of Vanessa’s personality, her struggles and her strength, and you’ll suffer along with her until the bitter end.
One of the deepest novels I’ve read this year. A powerfully chilling book, it weaves every type of abuse imaginable into one story. Women will resonate with Vanessa and hopefully find the courage to tell their own stories so they no longer feel alone, undermined, and barely existing in self-doubt. But it is also a book for men.
Vanessa (15) is a lonely girl longing to be loved and typical of girls her own age, a loner. Dumped by her best friend, she is dangerously vulnerable to the predatory Strane; a master manipulator and narcissist. Central to the plot is her loyalty and the chipping away of her own identity which, if left alone, would have developed at its own speed. You can’t help thinking what life might have been like for Vanessa if Strane hadn’t polluted it, and in this way the novel examines Strane’s ruthlessness and exploitation of her youth. She is puzzlingly obsessed with a man so much older than herself and with few physical attributes a girl of her age would naturally find attractive. But there is a meeting of the minds, an academic magnetism that draws her to Strane; the catalyst being the book Lolita, given to Vanessa by Strane. In Lolita, Humbert is obsessed with ‘nymphets’ aged from 9 – 14, and as Lo unwittingly stretches her legs across Humbert’s excited lap, so too does Vanessa in Strane’s study. This is how she defines love.
As the relationship progresses, Vanessa is blind to Strane’s disturbed personality — irritatingly so — because she is oblivious to his motive. Strane’s greed causes indescribable pain and tragedy to Vanessa alone, where she is expelled from a school she loves in order to protect his name. The frustration a reader may feel is Vanessa’s powerlessness and emotional immaturity, and most importantly the lack of statutory rape laws to protect her. The issue here is that Vanessa doesn’t feel she’s been raped because she’s in love, and Strane, in his own twisted way, loves her. She is inescapably bound to him and cannot form attachments with boys of her own age. Neither Taylor nor a reporter, desperately trying to build a case about Strane, can get through to Vanessa. Even Vanessa’s counsellor has met her match.
The relationship continues outside the school for a brief period until she is too ‘old’ to satisfy Strane’s fantasies. We see her robbed of her innocence too early to understand its complexities and the damage incurred by Strane’s selfishness. Weed smoking and drinking aside, Vanessa is already on a downward trajectory, although I kept hoping for retribution as a result of Strane’s sudden diffidence.
I found the last third of the book a little lacklustre compared to the opening chapters which are an emotional roller-coaster. Gripping and horrifying, it’s hard to put down because you ache for Vanessa and you hope she will see the light. Parts of it were so emotional for me I had to put it down for a while to process what I’d just read.
Beautifully written and riveting from start to finish, the after-effects will be with the reader for months to come.
This book might be disturbing for some readers. The topic is unsettling. I gave it 5 stars because it kept me wondering how something like this could happen and why.
I am very much so looking forward to Ms. Russell’s future work.
Wow! I started reading this powerful story and got hooked immediately. If you’re interested in how predators carefully select their targets, and then groom and gaslight them, you are in for an excellent read. If you are interested in how boundaries get crossed, how a forbidden relationship gains momentum, and the psychological impact it makes on both parties, you will find this enlightening. This is a gripping, powerful and thought-provoking book!
Painful to read but oh so relevant. One of my favorites this year!
All too often the amount of buzz about an upcoming release the greater the risk that it fails to live up to the hype surrounding it, despite a fleeting boost in sales and generated excitement. Occasionally, a book that is widely anticipated and publicized proves to be deserving of all the acclaim it has received. My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell, with its skillful portrayal of an important but seldomly heard voice, is firmly in this category. Russell creates a character that is fully developed and heart-wrenchingly real, all while delivering a story that addresses the zeitgeist of the #MeToo movement from a perspective that invites a deeper contemplation of the issues. Vanessa is a young woman who is being pressured to testify about an “affair” she had with a teacher 17 years prior. A woman is accusing the teacher of inappropriate and sexually abusive behavior and wants Vanessa to join her in providing evidence against him. Vanessa, however, believes that what she experienced was genuinely consensual and she seeks to assert her autonomy by taking some of the blame on herself. The book vacillates between past and current events, beginning with a shy and naïve Vanessa at fifteen as she enters her Sophomore year at boarding school. These flashbacks reveal a girl who at that time is mourning the loss of a close friendship and is insecure and plaintively seeking validation. The character of Stroud is wonderfully written as more than just a predatory monster who takes advantage of weak girls. He is subtle in his approach, manipulating her into thinking she is the instigator of his indomitable attraction for this “one-time” lapse on his part. Vanessa remembers how she willingly exchanged her innocence for the attention and praise Stroud lavished upon her—bolstering her self-worth and making her feel respected and loved. As the recollections move forward in time, she realizes that their relationship was predicated by a skewed power dynamic and her obsession with this older man continues to influence her current decisions and relationships. As an adult who is not living up to her potential and copes by self-destructive acts, Vanessa’s long-term damage is extensive despite her denial. Vanessa grapples with the fact that she still feels compelled to protect Stroud and grateful for his role in her life. She rejects the label of “victim” and all the powerlessness that the word implies. The novel does not shy away from graphically describing Vanessa’s thoughts as she is alternatively aroused and repelled by her abuser. It raises questions about consent—its amorphic forms and maturity requirements, especially in the current age of early onset of sexual activity. Russell does not succumb to the customary waves of anger and need for retribution but chooses to instead examine the costs to victims when they submit themselves to scrutiny even when they are unprepared to do so. This pressure to come forward reflects how much evidence is required for victims to be believed and for justice to be (rarely) served. The Stroud character is depicted as man who experiences true regret and sadness but acts in cold self-preservation when cornered. Like Humbert Humbert in Nabokov’s Lolita (a book alluded to throughout the story), Strane evokes sympathy as well as contempt. The true villains of the book are the other adults: Vanessa’s parents and teachers who fail to see what is happening and then refuse to protect her when all is exposed. Also implicated are the people who are so consumed with gaining retribution that invoking punishment becomes more important than compassion. My Dark Vanessa is timely and thought-provoking, a stand-out among the flood of books already dedicated to these issues. Vivid and unforgettable, Vanessa’s story is one that will be unfortunately too familiar to many. For them, this book may either act as a trigger to be avoided or as a solace to see it expressed so well.
Thanks to the author and William Morrow for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.
My Dark Vanessa is Kate Elizabeth Russell’s debut novel, which was eighteen years in the writing. I fell in love with her writing style, her perfect balance of clean, crisp writing combined with a descriptive style that has poetic elements interwoven throughout the story. This novel focuses on a character-driven story; however, My Dark Vanessa also delivers an important message; that we as a society need to acknowledge that there are people out there who will take advantage of our children and confront this problem head-on.
Throughout this story, there are multiple references made to the novel Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. However, unlike Dolores Haze, who has no voice, Ms. Russell gives Vanessa a voice. We hear her side of the story; we hear her confusion, her desperation to be loved, to be worshiped, and, most importantly, to not be defined by what has happened to her at the hands of a predator. Vanesa refused to see herself as a victim sometimes to the detriment of her psychological health.
“It wasn’t about how young I was, not for him. Above everything else, he loved my mind… No one had ever understood that dark part of him until I came along.”
Without giving to much of the story away, My Dark Vanessa is about a bright but gullible child of fifteen who is singled out and manipulated into having a sexual relationship with her forty-two-year-old high school English teacher.
We follow Vanessa’s story in various stages of her life; from 2000, when she first met Jacob Strane and started their taboo relationship until 2017, when she is trying to deal with the repercussions, this predatory relationship has left her to conquer. The sheer fact that this horrible man dominated her life astounds and horrifies me and how she was never able to have any meaningful relationship with a man.
“There are men who never turn into boyfriends, who peer behind the curtain and see the mess of me-literal and figurative …”
However, upon closer examination of this book, we can also see the power shifts between Vanessa and Strane. There are times that Vanessa feels powerless, and other times she feels she is the one who holds all the power.
“I have power. Power to make it happen. Power over him. I was an idiot for not realizing this sooner.”
This conflict is pure genius on Ms. Russell’s part. Another facet that Ms. Russell brings to the forefront is that Vanessa must not only deal with her conflicted feelings about this man and their relationship but also the onslaught of other women that have come forth to accuse Jacob Strane of abusing them. There are so many elements to this captivating story, and I don’t feel that my review will do this incredible novel; it’s due praise.
Although this is a dark story and, at times, a difficult one to read, it is also a compelling story, one I had a difficult time putting down and a novel that takes thought proving to a whole new level. Within the pages of My Dark Vanessa, there is a powerful message for all young girls, but only you, the reader, can determine what that message should be. I would highly recommend this book; it is one of my favorites of 2020. I hope to read more from this promising new author.
** Please note the quotes in my review are subject to change once the book is published**
***I kindly received an ARC of this book by way of Edelweiss, William Morrow, and Kate Elizabeth Russell. I was not contacted, asked, or required to leave a review. I received no compensation, financial or otherwise. I have voluntarily read this book, and this review is my honest opinion. ***
A book to make us reflect on our ideas and conceptions of what abuse is…
Very dark. Good read
Surprisingly intelligent & well crafted–not the usual one-sided story of abuse. Delves into the motivations of young women with older men. Reveals the insecurities of men who seduce students. Thoughtful book about women & men &
how we might actually understand each other better. Women & men have different insecurities, different needs at different ages. Not a beacon of perfection but thoughtful and honest. Stephen King was right to discover it.
While the subject matter is difficult, this book is so well written it seems impossible that the author didn’t live it! The character development is phenomenal. I really loved the ending, it seemed so real, so different than expected. Best, most haunting book I’ve read in years.
Such an insightful purview inside the dynamic between the adult abuser and the child abused and the stories they each tell themselves around their responsibility in the relationship and the impact of it.
Vanessa the character who writes the book from her viewpoint is a complex and sympathetic character. Describing her sexual relationship with a teacher at boarding school that begins when she is only 15, Vanessa struggles to understand the negative impact this has had on her life. She blames herself for having romantic and sexual feelings rather than the teacher for grooming then abusing her. When other girls report being abused by the same teacher, Vanessa initially feels they are lying. Gradually she comes to understand how she has been hurt and betrayed yet she is determined to protect the teacher to the end. Exceptional writing about the psychological complexities of sexual betrayal by a trusted authority figure. Very helpful reading for any sexual abusing victim but could be triggering.
My Dark Vanessa destroyed me. This moving, ferocious story of an all-consuming relationship between a teenager and her teacher traces not just a stolen girlhood, but the aftershocks that haunt trauma survivors years into the future. Gripping, stunningly written, and important… I’ve been waiting for this book.
My Dark Vanessa is a harrowing triumph. Complex, smart, and utterly riveting from start to finish, Kate Elizabeth Russell’s debut novel cracks open assumptions and clichés, and delivers a layered, nuanced narrative that is vital for a more thorough understanding of the extent and longevity of the damage wrought by sexual abuse. Be prepared for a pit in your stomach, a lump in your throat, and reading late into the night.