INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“[An] exceedingly complex, inventive, resourceful examination of harm and power.” —The New York Times Book Review, Editors’ Choice
“A lightning rod . . . brilliantly crafted.”—The Washington Post
A most anticipated book by The New York Times • USA Today • Entertainment Weekly • Marie Claire • Elle • Harper’s Bazaar • Bustle • Newsweek • New York Post • … anticipated book by The New York Times • USA Today • Entertainment Weekly • Marie Claire • Elle • Harper’s Bazaar • Bustle • Newsweek • New York Post • Esquire • Real Simple • The Sunday Times • The Guardian
Exploring the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher, a brilliant, all-consuming read that marks the explosive debut of an extraordinary new writer.
2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher.
2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed?
Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, My Dark Vanessa juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. Thought-provoking and impossible to put down, this is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood. Written with the haunting intimacy of The Girls and the creeping intensity of Room, My Dark Vanessa is an era-defining novel that brilliantly captures and reflects the shifting cultural mores transforming our relationships and society itself.
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A brilliant and stunning debut, My Dark Vanessa is utterly truth-rattling, humane in its clarity and chilling in its resonance. An absolute must read.
“This, I think, is the cost of telling, even in the guise of fiction–once you do, it’s the only thing about you anyone will ever care about. It defines you whether you want it to or not.”
This book is dark, twisted, and raw. It delves into a topic that many writers shy away from, but Kate Elizabeth Russell dives completely in to tell a poignant, dark tale of a woman haunted by abuse.
When Vanessa gets involved with her teacher, Mr. Strane, she is led down a twisty path of lies, abuse, and betrayal that will mark the rest of her life. This book is a raw look inside the mind of an abused woman who spends much of her life denying the abuse. It’s about the confusion girls face when abused and the darkness that can mar one’s life if they don’t find help and healing.
I found this book to be uncomfortable to read at times–which I think is the point. So many books shy away from the gritty, ugliness of abuse, especially in a power dynamic like this one. Russell digs into the description, the confusing emotions, and the uncomfortable scenes in a way few books do. She goes to a dark place in order to show the truth about how abuse and sexual assault can really change a woman.
I found this book to be revolutionary and brave in its portrayal. I know many women may be triggered by this book, so it isn’t for everyone. However, I think this book makes an important statement about abuse, victims, and how difficult it is to move on from trauma.
In addition, Russell’s writing style is beautiful, despite the ugly topic. She paints words in a way that will stick with you.
I will be looking for more work from this author because I appreciate the fact that she doesn’t censor her writing and is willing to write a book that other authors would shy away from.
Wow. I’m not sure what to say about this book, but I was riveted. I guess I’m still trying to sort out how I feel about it, but it is well worth the read. It’s about truth and power and the things we think we know and the things we really don’t understand. This is one that will make you think.
My Dark Vanessa is a 5 star read and will likely be one of the best books of 2020. That being said, this book isn’t for everyone. This intense book is very dark, disturbing, and heartbreaking; but, if you make it through, you will be rewarded with an excellent read.
Fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with the much older English teacher, Jacob Strane. The book alternates between Vanessa’s past and present to tell Vanessa’s story. In 2000, you see how Strane grooms teenage Vanessa and manipulates her into believing that she willingly engaged in this relationship.
In 2017, Strane’s reckoning has finally arrived. Another student’s sexual abuse allegation against Strane force Vanessa to reconsider the events of the past. She must ask herself if her first love and the man that has been a persistent presence in her life is really far different from what she has always believed. It is heartbreaking as she wrestles with this question. Vanessa says to her therapist, “I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that. Because if it isn’t a love story, what is it?” Her struggle gave me a greater appreciation for the long lasting impact of child sexual abuse and what it takes for a survivor to truly move on with her life.
This book will stay with you long after you read it. It has been over a month since I read it and I’m still thinking about it. But isn’t that the sign of a great book?
Thank you to the publisher and Goodreads for providing me with an advance reading copy in exchange for an honest review.
This book is stunning, but won’t be for everyone. It’s disturbing, poetic, haunting, and the best novel I’ve read in years. I loved it.
A fantastic debut that will make you think about what it’s like to be on the other end of a headline. Lolita told from a grown-up woman’s perspective in the #MeToo era. Highly Recommend.
An upsetting, highly crafted novel exploring the sexual exploitation of a 15 year old boarding school student by a 42 year old English teacher, Jacob Strane. Strane grooms Vanessa, the red-headed, socially awkward teenager, over time, praising her looks and her poetry extravagantly, and loaning her suggestive books, including the one she will take very much to heart, Lolita. With each small advance, especially as he begins to touch her, he carefully asks “is this okay,” giving her a false sense of her own power in that it manipulates her vulnerability and neediness by pretending she has the emotional strength to refuse him. She believes he is in love with her, and obsesses about their relationship. He points out that she could ruin him, that she must keep their secret, and, of course, she pledges to do so. As Strane also pledges, because he says he truly loves her and her “reputation would be ruined.” She believes him, but of course, secrets like this one often find some light and when they do, it is the person without status, without power, the young girl who is thrown under the bus.
The novel alternates between two timelines, Vanessa recounting events at fifteen, and Vanessa as a hotel concierge in her early thirties, still in contact with Strane, even occasionally seeing him. Single, profoundly affected by that relationship and still believing Strane loves her and keeping his secrets, unable to recognize how he has twisted her perceptions, Vanessa is contacted by a reporter and another former student when Strane is accused of sexually approaching other female students at the same boarding school. They want her to come forward and tell what really happened years ago, when she was forced to leave the school.
No spoilers. It’s a riveting novel. Some sections are extremely explicit, a few others explore Vanessa’s sense of dissociation and the reach to do that with metaphor sometimes feels a bit overdone, but the psychological study of a woman coming to terms with responsibility vs. victimhood has a disturbing ring of truth.
I am a sucker for anything to do with boarding school life, first of all. Second, this book kept showing up places which I took that as a sign it was meant to be my next read. From page one I was addicted and couldn’t stop reading. I am fascinated with Vannessa’s incessant denial of victimhood and instead deeming herself special and just more damned interesting than everybody else. I was so drawn to the psychology behind protecting one’s abuser, not only to keep him out of prison but in order to hold their relationship on a pedestal. What’s more the damaging effects of emotional abuse toward a child are so brilliantly captured in this novel. When Jacob Strane tells Vannessa “I will ruin you,” he wasn’t kidding. In addition, the author’s ability to move back and forth in time without dumping information or feeling the need to hold the reader’s hand was brilliant.
“I get the feeling all he really wants is to leave part of himself inside me, to stake his claim, not to impregnate me or anything like that, but something more permanent. He wants to make sure he’ll always be there, no matter what. He wants to leave his fingerprints all over me, every piece of muscle and bone.”
My Dark Vanessa is the story of Vanessa Wye, a fifteen year old girl who becomes entangled in a decades long affair with Jacob Strane, the English teacher at her boarding school. Nearly thirty years older than her, Mr. Strane is smart, charismatic and fascinating. Vanessa feels special that he has chosen her to lavish his attentions on. She believes they are in truly in love and destined to be together, but when rumors begin to fly, Mr. Strane betrays her in a way she never would have imagined possible. Over the next two decades, Vanessa struggles to free herself from him and to understand what their relationship means and how it has affected her maturation and development. Told from Vanessa’s perspective at age fifteen and at age thirty-two in alternating chapters, this is a haunting and disturbing story about sexual abuse and the long lasting scars it leaves. Though difficult to read, this book is important, necessary and beautifully crafted.
This was one of the most disturbing books I’ve ever read – and I read very dark books. It honestly made my skin crawl and made me physically uncomfortable while I was reading it. My daughter and I read and discussed it for our book club podcast, Unravel The Binding. Even more difficult than reading it, was trying to discuss it.
All that being said, I think it is an important book that exposes some very sad truths about our society, especially in light of the #MeToo movement. I believe that the grooming and abuse that Vanessa suffered happen far more often than any of us care to admit or even realize. It was also beautifully written and put us deep inside Vanessa’s head and heart. It made me think about victimization and abuse differently – I always appreciate when a book makes me re-examine my thoughts and opinions.
I also got very angry reading this book – at some events in my own life, at society, at how women are devalued and not believed. Things must change (which I’ve known for a long while) but this book solidified that even more for me.
For full review, listen to Episodes 11 & 12 of Unravel The Binding podcast.
Very well written and devastating, ‘Dark’ is the operative word here, because it is very dark and depressing. I listened to it on Audible and Grace Gummer did an excellent job reading it. It is long though, and I think about an hour could have been edited out. That said, it is riveting to read this story from the victim’s side, particularly a victim who doesn’t consider herself a victim. The dialogue is very realistic and the characters well flushed out. I do have to admit, I was relieved when it was over.
This was an extremely difficult book to read. It is about a 15-year old girl, Vanessa Wye, and her complicated relationship with her teacher – 42 year old Jacob Strane.
Their relationship quickly moves to a sexual relationship and Vanessa struggles to define herself after this affair, and whether or not he took advantage of her and advised her, or if she wanted it-a modern Lolita.
Truly, what 15 year old has the capacity to make this decision? It is heartbreaking how her life tumbles out of control and how she can’t let go of Strane.
Very powerful book.
#MyDarkVanessa #KateElizabethRussell
Beautifully written, heartbreakingly tragic, and impossible to put down. This book will haunt me for a long time.
An exceptional approach to “abuse” that examines the deep desire of the protagonist to tell her own story. A story about love not victimhood. Loved the links to Lolita and the different perspective on the literature. Incisive and intelligent and gripping.
What a waste of good reading time. Both of the main characters were repulsive to me. You cannot talk any of this into being ok, or even close. The best part of this book was when the pervert committed suicide! No amount of high brow critics giving this book positive reviews keeps it from being trash.
Just finished and am speechless. I still need to process but will recommend to EVERYONE at this point. A more useful review to follow but right now all I can say is it is stunning.
At fifteen, the very bright Vanessa Wye earns a scholarship position to boarding school. It’s the year 2000. There she meets Jacob Strane, her English teacher, who is forty-two-years-old. Soon the two are involved in a powerful relationship–and one that quickly turns sexual. Seventeen years later, Vanessa is working as a concierge at a hotel, just another in a series of dead-end jobs. She hasn’t had any real serious relationships. And now, Jacob Strane, has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, Taylor Birch. Taylor tracks down Vanessa, wanting her to share her story, too. But Vanessa doesn’t feel she was abused by Strane. In fact, her entire life is framed by her love story with Strane. As Taylor Birch’s story gains traction in the press, Vanessa must confront her past and what it means to her.
“‘I’m going to ruin you.’ He says it with obvious torment, a glimpse into how much he’s thought about it, wrestled with it.”
This book…wow. I was absolutely captivated by Vanessa’s story. She tells her tale in two parts: her adolescence, as she meets Jacob Strane at school and they begin their relationship; and then the present, as Taylor Birch’s story hits the press and Vanessa must deal with the fact that her love for Jacob Strane is being portrayed as abuse and assault.
“It’s strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I’ll think of this.”
For a book with such dark subject matter, it’s really beautiful. Russell is a wonderful writer, and this story unfolds almost lyrically. It’s so well-done and completely mesmerizing. The sections featuring young Vanessa capture that early adolescent yearning and longing so perfectly–that deep desire to feel needed and wanted. To Vanessa, this is a love story, a romantic tale of a man needing and loving her. She blocks out and overlooks the parts of the story that don’t fit. Understanding that some victims don’t see abuse as abuse is key to the story, and Russell portrays the dynamic between Strane and Vanessa so well.
“‘It’s just my luck,’ he said, ‘that when I finally find my soul mate, she’s fifteen years old.'”
As a result, we get a very thoughtful look at abuse, rape, and assault. And, yes, the sections of older Vanessa’s story touch across the #metoo movement, as Taylor Birch and others want so desperately for Vanessa to join their side, to share her story. For them or for Vanessa, it’s hard to say. This book is so dark, yet so insightful. Vanessa’s inner struggle–basically she’s having to re-look at the entire foundation upon which her life is built–is one of the most profoundly written and moving journeys I’ve seen in literature in quite some time. It’s not easy to read about, certainly, and it’s not always easy to understand her actions, of course. The story can make you uncomfortable; it can feel problematic. But it’s an important read, and it’s so beautifully and poetically written. I highly recommend it (taking into account the obvious trigger warnings, of course). 4.5+ stars.
5* Disturbing Stars
From the first page read I was blown away with the masterful story storytelling of the life of Vanessa. We first meet Vanessa as a 15-year-old scholar who begins a forbidden affair with her 42-year-old English teacher in the boarding school she is attending. The story then alternates between the young Vanessa who is growing close to and relying on her “predator” and the present day 32-year-old Vanessa who is living a miserable life due to the choices she chose. The whole story is told from her point of view and experiencing her innermost thoughts and emotions.
The author’s writing is so engaging and compelling! I am astounded that this is her debut novel, it is simply unputdownable! I have found a new author whose destined to have a great future.
This was not a light and fluffy read. The story of Vanessa was very real, dark and thought provoking. It is by no means a love story where two people fall in love voluntarily.
I have been dying to read this book, and was thrilled to win a copy on @Goodreads. I got behind in my reading because of the holidays, but finally had peace to finish it. I had read all the hype about this book for months, and was so hoping it lived up to the expectations, and it did! I’m blown away that this is the author’s debut novel. The book is as described about a teacher (Strand) 42, who has an affair with his 15 yr old student. (Vanessa ). The book flashes between past, and present day when another student comes forward accusing Strand of sexually abusing her. It’s then Vanessa comes to terms with what happened to her. The book is written so well, that you almost feel you know Vanessa, it pulls you in from the first page. The book is dark, and unputdownable. A definite must read!!
WOW! Totally unexpected with some of the things that happened in this book. It will definitely make me think, especially with the way how things ended. Very realistic and disturbing. It was sure a page-turner that I had to find out how it ended. I only feel sorry for Vanessa. I might have a bit of a hangover with this one. Im not sure I like the format in which the story was told, but the overall message I got. I’m curious to see what Kate writes next.
I received this book at my request and have voluntarily left this unbiased review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.