“I could feel my chin falling toward my chest, my back hunching forward. My body was acting on its own, and my mind was empty, like all my memories had been erased. There was scenery behind my lids. Aqua-colored water and powdery sand that extended for miles. I was never going back to coke. I wanted more heroin. And I wanted it now.”Leaving behind a nightmarish college experience, Nicole and her … Nicole and her friend, Eric, escape their home of Bangor, Maine to start a new life in Boston. Fragile and scared, Nicole desperately seeks a new beginning to help erase her past. But there is something besides freedom waiting for her in the shadows—a drug that will make every day a nightmare.
Heroin.
With one taste, the love that once flowed through Nicole’s veins turns into cravings. Tracks mark the passing of time, and heroin’s grip gets tighter. It holds her hand through deaths and prostitution, but her addiction keeps her in the darkness. When her family tries to strike a match to help light her way, Nicole must choose between a life she can hardly remember, or a love for heroin she’ll never forget.
Reader Caution: A harrowing story of addiction, this novel contains graphic scenes, explicit language, and disturbing situations. Recommend for mature audiences.
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Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales
A Story of Addiction
By: Marni Mann
Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
There are books that make your heart sing, and others that make your heart hurt. This one held my heart waiting to see what direction to go for the entire book. This fragile, raw, gritty story takes us on Nicole’s story of addiction. It’s not something she wanted to do, it’s not a life long dream. But once she had the taste of heroin it was too late. Nicole and Eric had moved to find their new home. But drugs began to take over, and everything the two did revolved around getting enough to get their next high. For Nicole, the unexpected happens and she finds herself needing to find her own way. With her new friend Sunshine, she set up her new path, met Claire who tried to help guide her and found exactly how to fill her needs. But as an addict, life is unpredictable, and events leading to help, rehab, rape, jail, death and the realization that life isn’t that fairytale high we delve into the most heartbreaking of all stories. Marni Mann may have written this as a fictional story, but her accounts of how an addict lives are realistic. For those of us watching, it’s agonizing to watch as there is nothing that can be done to help those not wanting it. And the results are tragic. This is a fantastic listen, the kind that makes you cringe and think, find that unconditional love yet know when to use the tough love, and just hug those that are close to you knowing stories like this are far to common. I commend Mann for pouring her heart and soul into this and bringing it to us.
Arden Hammersmith is new to me, and her portrayal of Nicole is nothing short of amazing. She delves into her personality and pours out a narration with every emotion and feeling that can be felt. It’s her performance that truly gives life to this book and lets us in the mind of Nicole. She is fantastic and I will definitely watch for more by her.
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WOW.
This story gave me ALL kinds of emotions. I was angry during most of it I wont even lie. I was so mad at Alice for the choices she kept making. But I had to continue telling myself that it was the drugs forcing her to do these things. Which, that is true. I have very close friends and family members I have witnessed completely change themselves for the love of the drug. Two of my most loved people hit rock bottom for the drug that was written in this story. I know it makes you into a thief, a stranger, a monster. But man, Alice just did some horrible things and had some even more horrible things done TO her. Seemed like one bad thing after another. I know people are saying this seems so far fetched but those people havent witnessed someone they love drown and suffer from doing heroin. Haven’t watched someone they love go from being a very sucessful business person to selling all of their belongings to get high. Its not far fetched. It really does happen.
This story sucked me in so much I stopped what I was doing and just LISTENED. I even stood in the cereal isle at the store to listen and not focus on my shopping. I was in a trance. This just goes to show Marni Mann is SUCH an experienced writer, can go from writing this to writing sexy smut like it is nothing. Can go from writing a heroin addicted womens fiction novel, to a dark prisoned romance, to a swingers romance. TALENTED. 5 STARS!!! *Thank you Valentine PR*
This book is everything. It is so real. I remember reading Go Ask Alice when I was a kid. It was something my mom wanted me to read in hopes that I would learn through Alice. Memoirs should be required reading for all kids in high school and college. There are so many lessons to be learned within the pages.
Nicole and Eric try to start a new life, but find themselves deeper in addiction than ever before. Nicole’s family try to help her, but when things go wrong, Nicole goes back to what she knows. She falls for a guy and as they are healing, they fall prey yet again to drugs. The ups and downs truly hit me so hard. But they were so real. It is reality, Addiction is not easy to get away from. Sometimes even the strongest fall off the wagon. Memoirs brings us into the world of addiction and shows us how cold and heartless that reality is.
I still do not have the perfect words to explain how I feel after reading this story. Gut wrenching, heart breaking and always hoping for a happy ending is what I felt for the most part. This book touched me so deeply. It will remain with me for a very long time. This is not your typical book hangover, this is a book haunting. I cannot stop thinking about it.
Arden Hammersmith is the perfect narrator for this. I was so lost in the book, her voice was my guide. Hammersmith’s inflictions brought the triumphs and the despair to life. Hammersmith narrated Nicole just as I imagined her. I look forward to hearing more from Arden Hammersmith.
Books are supposed to be fun, educative, make you dream about hero’s and rainbows and glitter.
Certain books slap you hard till your teeth rattle and them squeeze hold your throat. THIS is that type of book !!
A pair of innocent high schoolers- Eric and Nicole drive away from their restrictive parents in New Hampshire to Freedom of Boston Massachussets. And why ?….so they don’t have to study or have curfew time or be accountable or choose a path in life other than just bumming it out in front of the TV.
They smoke recreational Marijuana, and potheads that they are, they struggle to make ends meet in their “utopian” life in Boston. They slowly graduate to Shrooms and scorpion bowls, courtesy of Renee . Soon they’re snorting cocaine. As life would have it, they don’t realise the severity of their situation till one day Eric OD’s and is dead. Nicole resorts to Panhandling, Whoring, boosting to support her habit till she gets hooked on Heroin and the spiral downwards is imminent and speedy. She loses people around her one by one.
I wasn’t the same person anymore. I’d stopped caring about everything and everyone. My beliefs— being a good person, treating people with respect, and standing on the right side of the law— had been thrown away when dope entered my life. I’d stolen from innocent people. I’d lied to my family . I’d sold my body.All I cared about was money and dope. I stole and whored out my body just to buy smack, and then I’d shoot up and have to whore it out again. There was nothing fun about being a junkie.I didn’t want to stop using smack. There wasn’t a reason for me to stop. I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t dying. People took painkillers and antidepressants, and instead, I did heroin . If I wanted to take a day off from dope, I could. I didn’t need help to do that.
The ultimate price she pays is what jolts her back to her senses.
I can’t say what my thoughts are about this story.
Am I angry ? At whom- the parents who didn’t come after their teenage daughter and took her back resorting to force, if need be ?
At Eric and Nicole? Who though coming from a loving, healthy environment , still sought after a unicorn of ” freedom “?
Or at our current state where drugs are so readily available and youngsters smoke weed like “it’s no big deal”?
I wanna beat them on their heads with this book
I wanna scream , shout, yell, curse, beat my chest ……but I’m just sat here crying my eyes out with sheer helplessness and frustration !.
Nicole’s horizontal journey from NH to Boston is of a few hours and but her vertical downfall into this rabbit hole is of a few years and I keep wishing for a bump or jolt to retard it or stop it. But the NakedTruth is – she’s gone !
Her friends are gone, Claire is gone, her baby is gone, her dignity is gone, her shame is gone, her self worth is gone, her health is gone, her brain is gone…now her brother is gone.
All that is left is the Dark resin crusted spoon , a syringe , a foil, cooking smack and the warmth travelling through her scabbed, boil infested, scarred, mauled, raped , toothless abscessed body.
I’m a Mom and this broke my heart .
So now the question of how many stars! It’s beyond stars , it’s beyond reviews, this book is a lesson, a slap on your face.
Sometimes people say they remember a moment exactly when it changed their life ,an epiphany , whether you’re a parent or a child. Whoever is reading it- let .this. be. Your .moment !!
Wake up and open your eyes to this book, read it, spread it around, make your kids read it !
Oh the stars? – all there are in this universe