Sea monkeys. 3-D specs. Hypno-coins. Ant farms. Kryptonite rocks. Miniature submarines made from cardboard. All available for a buck or less from the back page of comic books. And we blew our weekly allowance on these rip-offs, only to be disappointed when they turned out to be total crap. But what if these bogus products had side effects not advertised? In horror master Hunter Shea’s MAIL … master Hunter Shea’s MAIL ORDER MASSACRE, sometimes you do get more than you paid for . . .
JUST ADD WATER
It’s been years since David and Patrick flushed away the dead Sea Serpents they got in the mail. After thriving in the toxic stew of pollution, strange, slimy creatures now rise from the sewers. Once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re massive monsters. . . and ravenous for human flesh!
OPTICAL DELUSION
Martin punishes his son for wasting his allowance on a pair of cardboard X-ray specs. But when Martin tries them on, he’s stunned to see through walls and clothes. But the novelty becomes a waking nightmare when the glasses burn into his face and he starts seeing horrifying apocalyptic visions no mortal man was ever meant to see. Images that turn him from a husband and father to a bloodthirsty homicidal maniac . . .
MONEY BACK GUARANTEE
With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. But when her son nearly drowns in the swimming pool, an enraged Rosemary complains to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband disappear. Now it’s all-out war and Rosemary wants her $1.99 back!
Praise for Hunter Shea
“A lot of splattery fun.”—Publishers Weekly
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Horror in 1980’s nostalgia
I’m sure many of you bought them. Those sea monkeys advertised in comic books. I did. And so did a couple of boys.They clip out the order form, fill it out, insert their dollar bill and send it off. When the order arrives and their freeze dried pets don’t hatch and start to stink, they dump them in the sewer.
Yep, you guessed it. Time passes. The creatures hatch. They grow. They crawl out of the sewers. Horrific in ways unimaginable. And then they feed. There goes the neighborhood.
I can always count on Hunter to make me laugh and squirm at the same time. It’s bloody good fun on the level of B- movies. It doesn’t have to be spectacular writing. The author doesn’t have to have his ducks all in a row. He just lets it rip and rip and rip.
If you haven’t tried any of Hunter’s books before, this would be a perfect first read. Not too short or too long and packed full of action.
Believe it or not, this is my first go around with Mr. Shea. While he writes creature features in the world of cryptozoology, which is directly up my alley of fun interests, I have just never read any of his stuff. Then I came across this compilation of 3 of his novellas put together as one package and jumped on it.
Novella 1 – Just Add Water. 5/5 – This was such a fun read. Lately I have read a number of fantastic horror/carnage tales where the kids are the hero’s and this is right up there. This tale is about some kids, who love comics, and purchase some sea monkeys from the ad in the back. Chaos ensues, blood flies and the solution is both comical and ideal for the story. Great read!
Novella 2 – Optical Delusion – 4.5/5 – Another fun read. This goes straight to the fantasy of the young male youth, of having actual X-Ray glasses. Of course what you get isn’t always what you want, when you buy something from the back of the comics! Fantastic journey of someone who just wants a little bit more, even if it causes life to spiral out of control.
Novella 3 – Money Back Guarantee – 4/5 – Good read. Ultimately I found this one a little wanting for more. The story is great, but I found the book to be split firmly into two parts; the initial ordering of the product and receiving it as part one and then the second act where the mom strives to get answers. A bit vague, but I am trying hard for no spoilers 🙂 For me the transformation of the mom from part one to part two was a tough one to swallow/believe in such a short time. I would actually think it could work, but the story itself would need to be expanded.
Overall, I highly recommend this fun collection. While reading this I ordered Rattus New York and pre-ordered Creature (which is now out) from Shea because I was enjoying it so much.
4.5/5 stars overall!