From author Nikki Ash comes a new, contemporary, stand-alone romance.Live hard. Love harder. Trapped under my controlling mother’s expectations and rules, I’ve lived my life for everyone but me. My only escape—a carefully guarded list of things I can only dream of doing. One by one, I slowly find the courage to start living. And that dream becomes a reality the moment my lips crash against a … moment my lips crash against a mysterious stranger’s in a drunken attempt to check another item off my list.
Only I wasn’t prepared for how that one kiss would alter the course of my entire life. In a single night, everything changes.
Ethan Romero is the opposite of everything I’ve ever known. He’s the dark to my light. The corruption to my innocence.
He shows me that life is more than a list of experiences to check off. It’s about living in the moment so you don’t miss the ones not on the list—the ones you didn’t even know you wanted.
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I was intrigued about this book from when Nikki first told us about it so naturally I couldn’t wait to read it. It is SO good and it had some surprising twists I didn’t see coming! It definitely pulls at the heart strings and it’s beautiful in every way!
I really felt for Nevaeh and the decisions she was facing. She found Ethan at the right moment in her life and he gave her the courage she was looking for to make them.
A must read! You will love it!
Nikki Ash absolutely hit it out if the park with this one! I absolutely freakin loved this story! There was just as much suspense as there was laughs! I highly highly recommend this book!
Before… I will try to calm down, I can say one thing : PLEASE, READ THIS BOOK!!!
Before I Die was my first time with this author and i CANNOT LIE – IT WAS THE START with one of the biggest BAM! ever. I adore these characters. I adore this story line. I adore how author lead this story thru the paiges of this amazing book. It could be a lots of WOW, and OMG … but now I only want to catch my breath finally…
I loved Before I Die from the first paiges and I’m telling You guys this author played me like a professional poker player. I thought it will be quite good story. I though I would laugh more that I would want to cry … but I was such a fool. From one paige to the next one the whole stroy eveloped into a wrecking-emotional-ball… There are so many hidden levels in this book, I just can’t express how much my heart was hurting… how much I wanted to jump into this book and make everythings better.
My bookish soul need a little longer time to recover. My bookish heart still might be in million pieces but I can assure every reader on this planet – Before I Die is amazing and so so so MUCH more. Give this book a achnace, when You only can, I’m sure You won’t regret this. Nevaeh and Ethan will make You laugh, cry… plus their chamistry!!! It was amazing experience that burn Your skinn deeply inside.
Must read alert!
I am still out of breath here. My heart is still pounding and feels as if it is gonna burst through my chest.
The last time I felt this way was when I read Bordello. Nikki Ash, you are one of those writer’s I thank for coming across you on my recommendation list.
Nevaeh, I find almost every woman can relate to in some shape or form. She thinks she needs to prove herself and mold herself to the likes of her mother. It’s not until her brother’s speech that she realizes in order to be yourself you need to find yourself and experience things for yourself and not others.
Ethan, oh my oh my! I can’t even with this man. That is all.
This book had me all about dying just in the first 6 chapters! At one point I thought to myself, if all this madness has happened just 6 chapters in, how will I survive the middle of the book? My heart could not take all the suspense and heart wrenching moments.
With all that this is why I love Nikki Ahs’s writing. She has the ability to pull you in and throw your emotions all over the place in just a few short pages.
Another one to add to my reread list 100%
Loved loved loved!
Nevaeh and Ethan met in the most unexpected way. It was to make her ex jealous but Ethan couldn’t get her off his mind and vice versa. But these two were polar opposites in every sense of the word. When they ran into each other again the chemistry was sizzling and at first they didn’t know what to do. All Ethan knew that he had an urge to protect her and Nevaeh felt safe around him. She also felt things she never felt before not even with her ex. Ethan tried hard to not fall for her based on his past and current events that led them to be in each other’s space but it was hard. She had already fell for him. He was there for her when she needed him most in the good and bad and even against her judgmental mother. As things progressed something else was going to stop their happiness and Ethan made sure she had the best of the best. I thought for a minute the author was going to leave me completely devastated but no she didn’t. This story started out twisted but then turned into a very beautiful love story then it turned into a sad story and then back to beautiful. Their epilogue will bring happy tears to your eyes but it’s the cutest.
Before I Die was totally unexpected, full of surprises and plot twists. So not at all the story I thought I would be reading. I went into Neveah and Ethan’s story completely blind, having no idea where the story would take me. And it’s one of those stories where you just need to hang on with both hands and enjoy the ride.
Neveah and Ethan’s story was intense, highly emotional, and captivating. Starting with the best meet-cute leading to a kiss with a complete stranger. From that moment on, the twists and turns that kept coming blew my mind and I was glued to the pages.
I loved the way this story flowed, and I was totally immersed in the story. Before I Die is slightly dark, suspenseful, yet so sweet and full of love. The story wrapped up fairly quickly towards the end plot wise and felt some things were unexplained; but overall a highly enjoyable unexpected storyline that I’m sure people will enjoy very much.
4.5 Stars- Surprising from start to finish!
Before I Die was totally unexpected- not at all the story I thought I would be reading. What I thought this story was going to be about? Surprising. The themes I thought we’d explore? Surprising. The pace of the plot? Surprising. Who the characters are? Surprising. The characters’ struggles? Surprising. The obstacles faced? Surprising. This isn’t the light, meta read I thought I would be getting- but wow-eey, what I got was so much better. This story is intense, emotional, and captivating- a one-sitting type of read.
Nevaeh is trapped in a box of expectation, weighed down by oppressive dogma of her religious beliefs and the judgement of her parents. As a way to cope, she keeps a running list of the experiences she wants to live before she dies- a written manifestation of the person she wants to be, if only she could unshackle herself from the person she currently is. On her birthday, she decides to check off a list item- go to a club- not shocking to most of us, but as a highly sheltered, innocent 24 who never defies her strict parents, this is quite risque. She never expects to also check-off getting drunk and kissing a stranger, but a twist of events results in her shocking herself and us. And the kiss? It is epic, soul searing, explosive- and neither character will ever be the same. They part ways assuming they’ll never see each other again- but yet again, a tragic and gruesome twist intertwines their destinies, and what unfolds is an unexpectedly suspenseful action packed, steamy, and surprisingly emotional page turner.
The character chemistry here is STRAIGHT FIRE. From their first meeting, I knew it would be explosive. I could practically feel the heat between them- the longing and intensity. But even more so, I could feel their emotional need for one another- two hearts, one soul. There is some hardcore instalove here- but I love instalove- but the tether between them feels realistic, both because Nikki carefully intertwines there stories but also carefully sprinkles pivotal emotional moments that cement this beautiful couple. Ethan is deliciously swoon worthy. He’s incredibly unexpected and trope defying- sweet, gentle and caring, lives with integrity, despite the world he’s surrounded by. HIs deviation, loyalty, passion- OH LAWD. He’s one of my favorite leading mea in a long time. And Neveah was so likable and surprisingly relatable, particularly given her naivete and the strong religious undercurrent of her character. Instead of finding her innocence cumbersome, I found it refreshing- an metaphor for the nature of her character journey. She’s so open and gentle, emotionally strong despite her fears. I loved them both, and I LIVED for them being together.
What I loved about this book is that just when I thought I’d figured out what this story was going to be, it would take a sharp left and explore something else, an interesting narrative parallel to the existential journey Nevaeh is on herself. The events around her are just as jarring and disorienting as her own internal struggle to live on her terms- so she does what we do as readers, she goes with it. The blurb led me down one path, our opener led me down another, unexpected twists and turns yet another, etc. This book definitely is covering a lot of thematic ground, is trying to be a lot of different stories at once- which normally hinders focus and impact- but here, it worked for me, because Nikki ensures we have enough time to explore each concept and its emotional impact on our characters, and she keeps the focus squarely on our couple. When your thematic message is around living hard and loving hard, a sprawling and twisting story only helps accentuate this, helps show our characters journey all the better, because we see it through the lens of a variety of conflict and backdrops.
The middle slowed down for me a bit, and the ending wraps up a LOT of subplots so felt a smidge hasty, but this didn’t make me any less ravenous for this story. Nikki’s use of contrast and parallels helped highlight the heart of this book- the contrast of Ethan’s darkness and pragmatism with Nevaeh’s light and innocence, a sweet, tender, and gentle love story nestled in gritty and dark action, the juxtaposition of the narrative structure to the emotional and spiritual journeys of our characters. As our characters confront dangers and make meaning of unexpected obstacles, this journey becomes increasingly less about literal survival and more about metaphysical survival- unpacking and reconciling their own hearts and minds, finding peace in their painful histories, liberating themselves from the versions of themselves that both Ethan and Nevaeh have allowed themselves to be trapped by. Ethan has suppressed aspects of his identity because of past emotional pain, and Nevaeh has never even unleashed her true self. Amidst all the entertaining, suspenseful, and twisting action, our characters are having an existential catharsis- awakening parts of themselves that have been dormant or unrecognized, providing one another the safety and connective strength each need to confront what has been holding them back. Live hard, love harder- because love can save you, love can unleash you, love can set you free.
This was just such an amazing read! The story really grabs you and takes you on one heck of a ride. I fell in love with Nevaeh and Ethan. They were so very different and yet they fit together seamlessly. I thought this book was deliciously deceptive. You go into it with certain expectations, that the book has no trouble meeting but it also pulls you deeper into its web with enticing twists, tantalizing darkness, soul deep sweetness, powerful emotions, steamy heat, tension filled suspense and major drama. Trust me when I say, once you start reading, you will not want to stop! Of my own accord I am posting a truthful review.
Nikki Ash pairs complete opposites in her new release Before I Die. This is a story of light and dark, innocent and experience, a life yet to be lived and one that has already faced the worst life has to offer.
Nevaeh is a young, innocent girl whose life list is ever growing as she is challenged in her relationship with God and her mother against her wishes for freedom to live the life she chooses without guilt. Ethan is an experienced alpha male casino owner who borders on the darker of lifestyle choices. A happenstance kiss to mark off a bucket list item of Nevaeh’s introduces them, but a dark, sinister world actually brings them together.
I loved the good verses evil plot line that was established early on in this novel. Casino owner with underground dealings, bad cops, kidnapping. Ash was clearly establishing a dark twisted thrilling romance to keep us on our toes. However somewhere in there I could see she fell in love with Nevaeh’s innocence causing her to about shift her story into a woman’s journey of self discovery. While I love a good story of a woman coming into her own, approving of her life choices and finding the strength within herself to be who she is, I felt like this book was a mixture of two put together- a dark story underdeveloped and a heartfelt journey between two characters coming to term with life. In a duet form, I think this one would have appealed better to me.
All of Ash’s talents are still clearly represented with this novel. Even though I feel it might be better suited as a duet, I can still say I thoroughly enjoyed Nevaeh and Ethan’s characters, the spark and fire between them as well as the growth they both faced. Ash also still delivered those signature heated sex scenes that she writes flawlessly. With that being said, Ash’s stories are above par on many levels. Her characters are always intriguing and I would still one click any book without glancing at the synopsis because I know I’m in for a treat regardless of the overall plotline.
This was a very emotional book for me. I cried and I laughed. I couldn’t put it down. Nikki you did again with another amazing book. Love the characters in this book. They broke my heart and put it back together by the end. Angel will always have a place in my heart for one of my favorite female characters. Amazing !!!!