A vivid memoir of food and family, survival and triumph, Love, Loss, and What We Ate traces the arc of Padma Lakshmi’s unlikely path from an immigrant childhood to a complicated life in front of the camera—a tantalizing blend of Ruth Reichl’s Tender at the Bone and Nora Ephron’s Heartburn
Long before Padma Lakshmi ever stepped onto a television set, she learned that how we eat is an extension of … television set, she learned that how we eat is an extension of how we love, how we comfort, how we forge a sense of home—and how we taste the world as we navigate our way through it. Shuttling between continents as a child, she lived a life of dislocation that would become habit as an adult, never quite at home in the world. And yet, through all her travels, her favorite food remained the simple rice she first ate sitting on the cool floor of her grandmother’s kitchen in South India.
Poignant and surprising, Love, Loss, and What We Ate is Lakshmi’s extraordinary account of her journey from that humble kitchen, ruled by ferocious and unforgettable women, to the judges’ table of Top Chef and beyond. It chronicles the fierce devotion of the remarkable people who shaped her along the way, from her headstrong mother who flouted conservative Indian convention to make a life in New York, to her Brahmin grandfather—a brilliant engineer with an irrepressible sweet tooth—to the man seemingly wrong for her in every way who proved to be her truest ally. A memoir rich with sensual prose and punctuated with evocative recipes, it is alive with the scents, tastes, and textures of a life that spans complex geographies both internal and external.
Love, Loss, and What We Ate is an intimate and unexpected story of food and family—both the ones we are born to and the ones we create—and their enduring legacies.
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I should know better than to read reviews of a memoir in advance of reading the book myself, as so many reviews end up as judgments of the author and less so the actual book. This will not be that sort of review. I maintain that a memoir is the thoughts and experiences of the author laid bare, and that is not mine about which to convey opinions. I am more interested in critiquing the construct of the book, not Padma herself.
What I enjoyed about “Love, Loss, and What We Ate”:
The tone – Padma’s telling of her story is very conversational. It flowed, sometimes wandering off on a tangent, but remaining friendly and open throughout.
Its honesty – There is no sugar coating. Padma has flaws, but she exposes them as honestly as anyone could. Better than many, I suspect, as she admits them openly and confronts them head on, where it is often easier to make excuses and pretend we’re better than that. It is often difficult to see our own shortcomings rationally and in their entirety, so there are places where she is offering only her interpretation of the events. Then again, this is her story and not the viewpoint of anyone else. But she does not cover her poorer decisions in a concealing veneer or gloss them over in justification. She made choices she wish had been different in hindsight, times she had been selfish and people she hurt along the way — anyone thinking they have not done the same, they are deluding themselves and are probably in need of some good soul-searching. I respect the way she put some of her worst moments into print. I was not sure I saw much effort at using these low points to make herself a better person, but then, toward the end, she was. Like any of us, life grows us in some harsh and unforgiving ways. Celebrity and beauty do not make life any kinder.
The well-chosen title – This book truly is about many sources of love, many types of loss, and of course food! But the role of food is not always what you’d expect. It isn’t all Michelin-star restaurants and Judges’ Table.
Her openness about her endometriosis – So often, we suffer parts of life in silence and isolation. These are often occasions when the comfort of having someone say a simple “me too” can go miles in making these uncomfortable parts of life more bearable. They may even be the catalyst for making those parts of life better.
Cultural education – The contrast in cultures between the United States and India, learning about a culture to which I have little personal exposure, the opportunity to picture a celebrity in an environment vastly different from the lush Top Chef settings, all made this book an enjoyable geographic mini lesson.
A better understanding of Padma’s commentary on Top Chef – I love gaining some insight into some of the flavors and nuances of the culinary world that Padma critiques on the show. Having a feel for the things she looks for and why, what her palate especially wakes up for, why a particular dish speaks to her beyond its cooking techniques, these are all valuable tidbits that I will watch for in the future.
So much description – This may be a turnoff for some people but I am the sort who loves to picture what I’m reading in my mind’s eye, making this a treat to read and imagine so much color and a variety of places I will likely never go.
A new perspective – I understood long before reading this or any other book that celebrities suffer the same heartbreaks of life as “the rest of us,” but I never really appreciated before now what it takes to stay on-camera and give no hint that your life is falling around you. That made my heart hurt for her, but it will always make me wonder now what hard parts of real life we aren’t privy to or considering when a smile dazzles on-screen.
What I didn’t care for:
It could have used better proofreading – While its occasional field trips down a side path were part of the conversational charm of this book, there was also a feeling of not knowing exactly “when” we were in a particular timeline. That left her recounting of events feeling disjointed at times which was mildly jarring.
The fashion portion of the book – I understand this was a large portion of Padma’s life and a defining chapter in who she is. The modeling and fashion industry, though, holds very little appeal to me personally, so those portions of the book read a little slow for me. This was made up for by the parts about behind-the-scenes on Top Chef.
There really was much to enjoy about Padma’s book. I was pleased that, despite the trepidation I felt after reading some other reviews, my anticipation was rewarded. I relished the perspectives Padma shared. Is it self-centered? It’s a memoir. How could it be anything but? Does Padma come across as likable or sympathetic? At times, yes, on both counts. But being human, like each of us, there are also times she does not, and she is brave to open the door to anyone to see some of them, something I’m not sure many of us are interested in enduring in a world quick to cast a judging eye and tongue. I appreciated the opportunity to see the more private, intimate side of a person to whom I most have had only a one-dimensional view for many years of watching seasons of Top Chef, as well as the times it gave me pause to examine myself in light of something she shared of herself.
I downloaded the sample of this book, and got totally wrapped up; when I got to the end, I had to purchase and continue. Big mistake. It’s almost as though two different people wrote the book, or it was started, shelved, and finished much later. Her relationship with Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie was engrossing…the rest, not so much.
I listened to this on Audible. What a wonderful story! Padma weaves the love and loss in her life beautifully with cultural cuisine that has your ear hooked and your stomach grumbling. I felt as if Padma was in the room with me when telling her story, and she narrated her story with perfect clarity and simple, yet effective, prose. I give 5-stars because I truly enjoyed the entire book. It was an easy book to listen to, one that will make you smile as she describes her family, friends, and lovers. I could listen to her talk about food all day long!
I only knew of Padma Lakshmi due to her work on Top Chef, but that was enough to get me to buy and eventually read this book. In it, she paints the story of her life beautifully, even during the worst of tragedies. This is a very well told autobiography, even if you’ve never heard of her before. Very highly recommended.
Love, love, love!
I started out interested in Padma Lakshmi, and ended up thinking she’s incredibly self-centered and not really all that remarkable.
I’ve enjoyed Top Chef for years. So, it was nice to hear some behind the scenes. Lakshma is an interesting person, and has experienced hardship…but been fortunate enough to come out of it with some remarkable experiences.
Intesting look at an interesting life.
Nearly unreadable. I expected more though I’m not sure why. when I read a book like this, I regret all the good, real writers who never get a chance to be published.
If you’re a fan of the TV food industry it’s a very interesting book. For such a young person she has had a very very interesting life. I liked the way she explained food from a cultural and family perspective.
She’s had a very interesting life!
Very interesting autobiography by someone who’s had a fascinating and varied life.
I enjoyed reading her cross cultural experience. She has led an interesting life and has honestly expressed the stresses and joys of being a Third Culture child.
Book bub
I thought it was well-written and honest.
I enjoyed getting to know the story behind the Top Chef host. I listened to the Audible version, and having Padma do the narration made it that much more personal. Thank you, Padma, for your transparency, and sharing your life with us.
great stories about a food culture I’d like to be more knowledgeable about.
Celebrity memoirs can go in any number of directions, some are barely readable, others are full of fluff, but this is the first I’ve read where I felt a genuine connection with the author … in addition to really feeling that the author and subject were the same.
Known in most households as the entrancing host of Top Chef, Padma traces her life as it hops across the globe: India, America, modeling in France, and on the Bravo series’ sets. It revealed sides of her I had no idea about as well as explaining things I had always wondered (such as the story behind the scar on her arm). I loved the book and even went back as I rewatched Top Chef seasons to remember where she was in her life at the time.