Long-haul truck driver Lowell Ferguson is on the brink of suicide. He is haunted by the guilt of a horrible secret from his senior year of high school. Therapy and antidepressants aren’t able to lift him out of depression. At twenty-eight years old, he believes his life has dissolved into a meaningless annoyance. Only the strong bond with his lone friend–a Chihuahua named Rufus–keeps him from … from choosing death. But when Lowell learns Rufus may have cancer, he fears there will be no reason left to live if his beloved dog dies.
While awaiting the diagnosis, he comes across a flier for a Christian support group promising hope and freedom. A skeptic and an apatheist, he nonetheless reluctantly decides to join the group. Through this joining, he finds what he has been yearning for–a path toward leaving the darkness of depression. This first step provides Lowell the courage to do what he must to escape his guilt and finally confront his past.
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If the author was going for a dark story with in your face realism, he definitely achieved it. It is not an easy book to read and at times I felt darkness surround me. The author takes two people as teens that leads them on a road to destruction . It will span into their adulthood that will find them on the brink of depression and guilt.
It’s hard to say why one of them carried the guilt all those years while the other buried it deep inside. Lowell is the kind of person who was a follower in his teens. He trusted that his friend Alan would do the right thing but never did. One traumatic event can have different effects on people. In this case Lowell spiraled out of control . He carried the guilt of that night with him everywhere he went. He knew that he would never be at peace until he made things right. Lowell became a very reclusive person with only one thing important to him. He had been given a dog who made him feel alive again and they became constant companions.
Alan became successful and very powerful. He is driven by money, deceit and greed. He believed that money and power were the most important things in the world. Under all that superficial fake exterior is a lonely, bitter man.
Lowell slowly changes and tries to turn his life around. He is surrounded by friends who share Jesus with him and I could see his heart changing. There are some great moments in the story where Lowell searches his heart and struggles with trusting God. Rick is someone who reaches out to Lowell and becomes like a mentor to him. I had a few reservations about Rick, but overall a good character with a big heart. There were a few times I thought the story got a bit preachy and wanted the author to not continually have Rick witness to Lowell. Sometimes we need to back off and just pray for someone.
The story is filled with alcoholism , greed, infidelity and a lack of believing in God. Two people who experienced the same traumatic event will go in different directions to run from the truth. Lowell was easy to identify with because he wanted to give his burdens to God. He was a broken man and wanted to make things right.
I felt a real tug on my heart towards Alan. He is the one that doesn’t want to admit he has done something wrong. He wants to keep his reputation stellar but the past is quickly catching up to him. How many of us have tried to run from our past? We become angry and will do anything to run from our past. This story illustrates the pain someone goes through when they are lost in the world. God always has a way for us to not only deal with the past but lets us choose to forgive others, to forgive ourselves and be set free from the bondage of what the enemy has used to keep us as his hostage believing lies.
Lowell and Alan will take a journey that will either lead them to freedom or to continue a life of deceit and lies. Which path will they choose?
I received a copy of this book from Celebrate Lit. The review is my own opinion.
Leaving darkness
What a wonderful story. Lowell just cannot let of what happened in the past. I could certainly understand that with what happened to him. Uncertainty of what really happened.
I loved his little dog. His companion for long trips on the road as a truck driver. It always helps to have a love of a dog. He really takes good take of Rufus.
It took me only a few hours to finish this book. It really kept my attention. There is a lot more to the story than Lowell part. I definitely recommend this book.
I received a copy of the book from the publisher through Celebrate Lit. I was not required to write an positive review. This is my own opinion.
A book that shows a focus on depression and guilt, and a longing for a past that never was.
We are shown two individuals that grew up together, an accident that changes one and the other goes on with his life like it never happened.
Choice, whether direct or indirect and the affect they have on us, and we see how each handle this with surprising results.
I could see God’s hand in here and how he is accepted and forgiveness, from those injured to oneself, the hardest of all.
I found this one a compelling page turner and was finished in no time, and I loved little Rufus!
I received this book through Celebrate Lit, and was not required to give a positive review.
The initial description caught my eye. Lowell, a long haul truck driver, is in a dark place. He carries a bottle of pills in his pocket and is almost constantly feeling for them. He is thinking of suicide to end his meaningless life. The only reason he hasn’t followed through is because of his little dog Rufus. Rufus has a tumor that could be cancer. If he dies Lowell does not know any reason to go on with his own life.
Lowell grabbed my heart and pulled many times. He has deep issues troubling him from a couple of things that happened his senior year in high school. An incident that happened involved his then best friend Alan. Both of their lives in years since has taken drastic opposites. Alan seems to be the Golden Boy with everything good happening in his life. He is self absorbed and looks down on those he thinks are wasting their lives. Lowell is in a very depressed state with no help from therapy and very little to live for in his mind. What happens to each of them throughout this novel is eye opening in many ways. A story of guilt, forgiveness and sometimes second chances.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher through Celebrate Lit but was not required to write a review positive or otherwise.