New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst unveils her heart amid shattering circumstances and shows readers how to live assured when life doesn’t turn out like they expected.What do you do when God’s timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention hurtful, and His promises doubtful?Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard … looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a moment, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned, and we quietly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness.
Lysa TerKeurst understands this deeply. But she’s also discovered that our disappointments can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God. In It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa invites us into her own journey of faith and, with grit, vulnerability, and honest humor, helps us to:
- Stop being pulled into the anxiety of disappointment by discovering how to better process unmet expectations and other painful situations.
- Train ourselves to recognize the three strategies of the enemy so we can stand strong and persevere through unsettling relationships and uncertain outcomes.
- Discover the secret of being steadfast and not panicking when God actually does give us more than we can handle.
- Shift our suspicion that God is cruel or unfair to the biblical assurance that God is protecting and preparing us.
- Know how to encourage a friend and help her navigate hard realities with real help from God’s truth.
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It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way was the very book I needed in a tough season of my life. I listened to the audiobook, read by the author, and at the end there was bonus material (including an interview) well worth hearing. Lysa doesn’t sugarcoat the rough things that can happen on this earth or how they can seem to pile on, one thing right after another. But she points the way to trusting the Father, even in the midst of the storms, and she doesn’t pretend that we can go through it without tears and heartache.
I read this book for a women’s bible study during a time when I was going through a lot. I must admit that I cried through a lot of it, but found it reassuring and empowering. Nobody’s life turns out exactly the way that they planned and this can help you through life’s bumps n the road
A book that was written for me. Answers the question of how we should handle disappointment when living between two gardens and the reality of our circumstances hurt.
Read this book as part of a women’s bible study group and loved it. It hit on everything we go through during struggles of life. It was uplifting and motivating.
The whole world seems to know the circumstances which caused Lysa TerKeurst to write this book. An unfaithful husband and a life-threatening health issue give the author credibility in saying, “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way.”
I have a faithful and loving husband today, but years ago, I lived through the betrayal and heartbreak created by an unfaithful spouse, too. Unless you have lived it, it really is virtually impossible to understand the soul-crushing heartache that ensues when your marriage partner does not keep his or her wedding vows. It’s a spiritual and emotional ripping apart of every dream and hope you had for your marriage. Lysa describes this so well.
That’s why, anticipating this title’s release, I asked for it for a Christmas gift. I also signed up for the Proverbs 31 Women’s Bible Study and tried to follow along as my schedule allowed. I read the book very slowly and used it more for a devotional than simply a spiritual growth book. Because by the time you reach the autumn season of life like I have, you readily agree life rarely is the way “it’s supposed to be.”
Many women have felt forced to conceal this for the most part though, while wearing societal masks which can hinder us from receiving God’s healing.
Not TerKeurst. She manages to go public, and yet in some ways, remain discreetly private about details. This is a true writing pro and spiritual mentor, and we are blessed to be under her teaching while reading the book.
As for Bible teaching, the Word of God flows so freely from TerKeurst, and is so applicable to everyday life, that there are profound lessons contained within the pages.
Sadly, I can almost hear some who read it, argue about TerKeurst being blessed with a Fairy tale ending, when they have not. For instance, my own broken marriage was not restored, but I can tell you from fighting for restoration with everything within me, it is painful and takes great humility and self-control to live with a man who has been unfaithful. So, instead of being jealous of Lysa, let’s all pray God will give her and Art the grace to walk out this fragile restoration day by day. (So sorry for preaching there. Please forgive me, but my past got the best of me.)
I recommend this wonderful, transparent book to anyone whose life has not turned out like they thought it would, and that’s countless individuals. I give it 5 stars and only wish the review system allowed for me. So, how about 5 plus stars? This is a groundbreaking work and I believe many of us will be set free from shame and more willing to share our deepest hurts and receive greater healing and support, due to this tremendous resource. Thank you, Lysa TerKeurst, once again you have done much for your hurting sisters!
December was a rough month for me. It seemed like the sky was falling and no umbrella could save me. A friend sent this book to me. I have read books by Lysa Terkeurst before, but I would have to say this is absolutely the best she has ever written.
Here is an excerpt. “I feel like job. The Lord was with him. But everything about his circumstances begged him to no longer be with the Lord. And here’s what I imagine would have been the hardest part about being Job: being completely uncertain of the outcome. We read the book of Job in the context of knowing the restoration that comes at the end. It helps us not feel the true intensity of Job’s pain.
And while I know in my head that God will somehow, someday turn all this around for good in my life, too, my heart isn’t so sure some moments. The intensity of the pain gives me a propensity to doubt.
God, give me relief from my unbelief!” Thank you, Michelle, for sending me the book. I am passing it along to a friend who could use it.
This book was exactly what I needed. A strong reminder to lean into God in the disappointments of life.
A self-help book that I actually liked. Can think of many times this book would’ve been a great comfort to me and know it would be a good book to have on hand. I think faithful believers would enjoy.
Wow. I started this book shortly after my son attempted to take his own life, but I didn’t finish it then. It’s been almost three years since then, and I just finally finished it. It really spoke to some big disappointments in my life and shined a bright light on all that God has brought me through and the work He’s done in me. Such a profound reminder to let our dust be used by the potter’s hands. Thank you, Lysa.
Several years ago, my pastor spent several weeks preaching on perspective — seeing the world and circumstances as God sees them instead of through our own interpretation.
Lysa TerKeurst’s book reinforced that message and does a great job of showing how the Bible instructs us to respond to and interpret circumstances in our lives. She doesn’t sugarcoat or negate anyone’s struggles or pains. She even admits that the truth of Scripture will likely hurt more than it helps … at first. Buth her book continues to present truth and provide encouragement for anyone reading it who might be struggling to wonder what’s going on.
Interestingly, I read this at the beginning of 2021, when it’s oftentimes hard for a Christian to look at what’s happening in America and the world and see where God’ moving, This book was written to encourage women through personal struggles, but I found many of her words to be encouraging and spot-on on a national level as well.
Rated G.
This book is break your heart honest, and I think that is why I can hear Lysa reading it to me. Every word is sincere, prayed over, and compassionate but most importantly it is bathed in Scripture. I’ve loved savoring this one in little doses, so I can give myself time to process. If you are seeking godly counsel from a wise Bible teacher, this is a good start! But I’ll add my encouragement to Lysa’s that some hurt deserves a licensed Christian counselor interacting with you one on one. Be brave enough to ask for help if you need it love! Happy Reading!
Terkeurst writes about the unexpected moments in life that can shatter us completely. Despite prayers, we often feel the absence of divine intervention and it leads to disappointment and even doubts about the existence of God or His goodness. Yet, her perspective is that such moments can actually be interventions and guidance or “divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God.” Seeing that innate goodness in life is the beginning of awakening to something that is surprising.
Another great read for my church book club! Her story is very inspirational. It’s amazing that a woman could go through so much and still have so much faith. For anyone who has gone through tragedy, divorce, or any other painful life experience, this book is for you.
This is one of the best Christian non-fiction / inspirational books I have studied this year! Lysa TerKeurst is a Christian woman, wife, mom, ministry leader, book and Bible study author who found herself in three major life crises in a short time. The situations highlighted in this book to show the power and love of God when we endure similar – or entirely different – circumstances that just weren’t supposed to happen. Circumstances that He can and does use for our good.
The author takes us through her feelings and faith challenges she experienced as a result of those situations, and how she wrestled through with scripture, prayer, and reliance on the Lord. Her vulnerability is refreshing, her wisdom inspired by the Lord. “Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us home.” (pg. 5)
Lysa doesn’t mince words. She does not minimize the Lord in any way, rather, He is everything! She is honest, showing that bad things do happen to Christians even while believing that God is good. She writes in a manner that someone who has been a Christian for any length of time, whether new or seasoned, can grasp when in the midst of a trauma. There are stories of people from scripture, and parts of her own life. The wisdom imparted comes from serious wrestling in a walk with God through painful disappointments. I could see myself in some of her feelings and reactions – not in circumstances like she was experiencing, but things going on in my own life. It isn’t the situations that are front and center, it is how we can learn to respond despite times that simply weren’t what that should have been.
Those responses may sound overly simple to those not going through a trauma but are profound to the person who is trying to put one foot in front of the other for one more day. There are two ways we can get through – with God, or giving in to our flawed desires. One quote that is important is “We must set our minds and our hearts on things above by choosing to remember God’s words, repeat God’s words, and believe God’s word about us.” (pg. 65)
I listened to the audiobook and read the print copy while doing the associated Bible study (and purchased the e-book), and I feel it is a valuable resource to the person going through struggles or the friend of someone struggling through hard times. Don’t compare the author’s situations to yours; instead, compare your reactions, feelings, and responses. I very much like the writer’s approach to seeking God, wrestling, praying, and getting into scripture. Our responses in times of crisis are vital to how we live our lives from those times forward.
Regarding the audiobook, it is read by the author. I felt in many ways as if we were sitting in her kitchen over coffee or tea from the writing style and simply hearing her word sin her voice. Why did I get three formats? Because some things I learn better by repetitive hearing. Other times it is easier to open the book and search for the relevant pages, including chapter endings of “Going to the Well”, “Receive (a scripture)”, “Reflect”, and prayer. Back sections include scripture and helps for situations.
I highly recommend this unique and timely book to Christians who are going through trauma of any kind and want to know that God is still in control and appreciate solid biblical teaching.
When life takes a turn and suddenly you find yourself upside down, know that you are not alone.
Personal life experiences and words of wisdom come from author Lysa TerKeurst. Her books are always inspiring and encouraging.
Definitely a great book to keep on hand as a reference to return to when we are wondering why. I have a lot of underlining in this one!!
Helpful and practical with relationships and adultery. Inspirational of how they overcame betrayal and life threatening illness.
Lysa is very open and real. She is always an inspiration.