This is a love story.It’s brutal.Heart-wrenching.Dirty, terrifying, and raw.But a love story nonetheless because it is so beautiful.Ensley:Noah Carter was the type of guy that every girl wanted.Gorgeous. Talented. Smart and kind.He was the world that revolved around me even though I didn’t deserve him.But then something went wrong.He snapped maybe, just lost his mind.I found him the night my … wrong.
He snapped maybe, just lost his mind.I found him the night my family died, their blood staining his hands.
I put him in prison. I got my revenge.
But then years later he found me again…
…and stole me away from my life.
Noah:
You couldn’t know Ensley without wanting to strangle her.
She was beautiful, she was wild, she was the girl next door
.I grew up with her by my side.
I watched her destroy herself while I held on.
I protected her when she had been blind to the danger that surrounded her.
I let her go once only to find her again.
She would see me this time no matter what.
DISCLAIMER: This book deals with sensitive subject matter that may be difficult for some readers.
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Why does this author always have me screaming at my kindle???
Because her books are that freaking good!!!
This story was no exception. Lily White can write dark, gritty, raw stories like no other. She sucks you in and holds you captive until the very last page.
Her characters are so damaged, and so twisted that you have to stop and wonder how she comes up with them. You want to wrap your arms around her female lead characters and hug them and her male lead characters leave you breathless.
This book was a fast paced, breath holding, rollercoaster ride. My heart broke for Ensley and Noah. Ensley for the horrible, brutal, childhood she had. And for Noah because he couldn’t protect the girl he loved.
Get ready for an ending you won’t see coming even while your reading it.
***5 “Just run to me!!!” stars***
“The garden of discontent. It’s where our misfortune is buried.”
This was a heartbreakingly beautiful story… Raw and brutal but in a way so perfect in all its imperfection!!!
This story wrecked me from the beginning and it kept destroying me little by little as the chapters were passing by…
My heart was breaking for those two young people who had wasted so much time from their lives away… in order to satisfy unworthy people…
Yes, i was sad and furious at the same time with Noah, Ensley and the rest of the world and I’m afraid that it will take some time to get over this story!!!
“We were connected, the two of us, by invisible strings that were unbreakable over time or distance or heartache. We were unbreakable together, bound by a lifetime of promises and secrets.”
“The truth had been buried beneath the ground in the garden we created, a strip of land poisoned by sorrow while beautiful for the flowers I planted.”
There was a girl who had nothing…
A girl who lost almost everything very early…
Her childhood, her family, her innocence, her ability to love freely…
Her only solace was the boy next door whom unknowingly he had become her whole world…
But she didn’t deserve him… even though he was always there for her…
She had so much heartbreak inside of her, so many hidden truths and lies inside her soul and she could confess them only in the garden of miscontent… A place that knew all the ugly parts inside of her and all the secrets that she was holding inside her heart…
“I loved this boy more than anything. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be the poison that would destroy him eventually.”
“No matter what happened, he’d make me write those notes, bury them in the ground, and then he’d grow flowers over them. It didn’t matter how much he hated me at the time, or how angry I was at him, I was out there scrawling toxic confessions he would wrap with his, like our pain was meant to go together…
Noah and I named it a few years later. He said we reminded him of some book where the character hated his life and that’s where he got the idea.
…The garden of discontent…”
There was a boy that met a broken girl…
He wasn’t broken himself… Not as much as the girl were…
And he decided that this girl was his to hold and love…. for the rest of his life…
And he tried… He tried so hard to be there for her in every turn…
But the girl were keeping secrets and he was seeing her day by day to slipping through his hands, even though he was still trying to be her everything…
He even built her a garden… A garden of miscontent…
And then one day, everything got destroyed…
By him, by her, by her fucked up family… Who knows???
But two lives were inrepairable broken…. Or not????
“Give me your pain, Ensley, and I’ll carry it for you.”
“Love me Ensley. Just open your eyes.
Trust me, Ens. I can help you.
Run to me, Ensley, I will take you away.”
After 22 years apart a man is coming back into a woman’s life and he is trying to make the wrong right. But is something like that even possible???
Ensley and Noah had lost so much already and my heart and soul was hurting and crying for them and their fucked up story… For their fucked up lives…
For what they both sacrificed…. For the paths they had chosen once upon the time…
And how they spent their lives after all…
Is it too late after all this damage to find a safe place together???
“How long has it been since that night?”
“Twenty-two years.”
And I hadn’t lived a single day of them. I was already dead.
Nobody knew this. Not even Peter. It was a secret buried in an empty glass bottle, deep underground, in the garden of discontent.
It’s where all our secrets are planted.’
“I would conquer her fucking demons if it was the last thing I did before leaving this world. Her nightmare was strong, but I was stronger. Maybe not when we’d been kids, but prison had done wonders to shape who I was now.”
God, honestly, i don’t know how i’m feeling for these two…
I loved Noah fiercely…. He was a very good kid… A caring kid… And he had brought a bright light in Ensley’s life, but i think that he had to love her in a more toughed way… Maybe then, he could do something more for her….
I hated how strong and fiercely he loved Ensley and I’m afraid that he was letting her take advantage of this love….
In a way, I hated the sweet love that he was loving her and don’t ask me why…. It’s a long story!!!!
“I loved you every time you couldn’t love yourself. Every time you hurt me. Every time you ran away.”
“That’s right, Ens. Make it hurt. Just like you always have. Make it hurt so fucking much that I carry more scars because of you.”
As for Ensley??? My heart was breaking for her, but still… I’m so furious with her for many reasons…
I can understand from where she was coming and i was so sorry for her fate, but what she was doing to Noah emotionally wasn’t right… And i hated the way she resented him after everything he did for her… How easily she locked him up for life for unworthy people who made her life a living hell…
I hated that at some point i believe she was enjoying some things that she shouldn’t…
I hated that she was making Noah feeling so unworthy of her when he was anything but that!!!
Well, I’m so sorry for everything she got through, but I’m still very furious with her…
I just wanted her to take some different turns in her life and then i could accept her reasons why she did and reacted in some things, but now… I just can’t!!!!!
“He never stopped loving me.
Not when we were kids.
Not while he was locked away.
Not tonight.
And I just cried, the sobs shaking every part of me.
His arms a cage that kept me safe.”
“She abused herself, and she abused me, but I was strong enough to take the blows.
Every one of them.
Over and over.”
Pfffff…. I’m sorry that I’m so judgemental with a very broken person, but …. I just couldn’t accept some of her behaviors…
And Yes, Noah was too good for her and that’s the only truth…
But still… even with all these mistakes, i still loved this book…
I loved the way that these broken kids were loving and holding each other…
I loved that as adults nothing had changed, even though life has throwing them hell in every turn of their way…
What i didn’t like was that there were such a wasting of time… I hated it!!!
“Our greatest discontent was how we’d loved each other despite our circumstances. Ours was a lifetime that wouldn’t allow us to stay together.”
“There was nothing in the world that could ever force me to let her go. She was a crazy bitch. But she was my kind of crazy. Her insanity matching mine.”
Well, this was my first book by Lily White, even though i have wanted to read many of her books in the past…
And now, i can officially admit that i became a hardcore fan and i won’t miss another book of hers, even if she will kill me in the process while i’ll be reading these beautifully broken stories of hers!!!
“If you stay, I stay …”
***I received an advanced reading copy in the exchange of an honest review. Thank you.***
It has been a while since I read Lily White, so when I heard she had a new release coming, In the Garden of Discontent, I was so excited and I was not disappointed. Her stories are dark, suspenseful and completely captivating. It was completely unexpected and devastating. Even as I felt so much for the characters, at times it was hard to continue reading, but this is Lily’s trademark in her writing. She makes you feel.
Ensley and Noah have been friends for a long time and have always been there for each other. Then one night changes everything. They just went through so much separately and alone. Ensley broke my heart. She endured so much for those she loved. Noah was caring and gave so much. As we learn about them through flashbacks, we learn they each had their secrets and pain, but together they found some solace.
In the Garden of Discontent by Lily White was such an emotional read. It made me feel so much, from anger to heartache to heartbroken and everything in between. A story that made me feel with every word I read.
Read and reviewed for Sultry Sirens Book Blog.
Happy reading!
“Run to me…”
The story of Noah Mason Carter and Ensley Aimee Bennett was just utterly heartbreaking and I keep telling myself this is fiction. Because this is not how a child’s life should be.
While Noah was loved by his mother who took great care of him, Ensley’s was the total opposite.
“Worry of the past brings depression. Worry of the future brings anxiety. Only worry about the now.”
Albeit fabricated, the personages of Noah and Ensley will be with you. Their journeys through life will make you realise how lucky you are and maybe even will make you open your eyes and wonder about the little girl or boy next door or in your classroom.
And let’s hope you’ll encounter not one child that’s having that poignant and evocative life while desperately trying to be a child.
I love reading Lily White’s story, she always manages to bring you to your knees, with her witty writing and devious turns.
“If you stay…”
“I stay.”
Review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3173128709
Author Lily White grips your soul immediately as you begin to read this story.
I felt every emotion of the characters that it gave me literally goosebumps on where this story was going to go.
It is raw, twisted, and totally unpredictable on where the story would go which I loved.
It is a love story filled with soo many levels that fall off just like the petals of a flower.
I literally cried and felt soo much heartache with this story!
Go One Click it!
5 popped!
There’s an old saying that you shouldn’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see. This author proves that what you see and hear is only part of the information. She had me second guessing myself all the way through this dark romance. Ensley and Noah both had a difficult childhood. They were best friends and neighbors who grew up together and loved one another. But this is no fairy tale and the paths that these two are forced to travel are rocky and filled with obstacles. Noah is no typical hero but oh em gee, he was perfectly imperfect. And I just wanted Ensley to realize that she was worthy of love. I would definitely recommend this one.
Damn if I wasnt sucked into this one better than the Hoover sucks cleaning my carpet! My gosh where on earth does this author come up with these stories! Twists and turns so quickly that will leave you breathless. Not an easy book to read as there are some uncomfortable scenes but a book that will have you devouring the pages until the very end!
A PUNISHING, RAW, and UNFORGETTABLY EPIC LOVE STORY
IN THE GARDEN OF DISCONTENT delivers a tour de force love story in a class all by itself — steeped in gut-wrenching angst, nail-biting suspense, and a convoluted murder mystery.
This book will grab you hard, shake you silly, show the depths of emotional depravity and inhumanity, dizzy you with truths, lies, secrets and villains within a sacred and profane storyline that is rich and full and tattered at the edges, before finally uplifting you with a love so powerful that it left me shaking in tears. I didn’t think a love story could make me ache so badly, and I felt like I could have killed one character myself. This is Lily White at her absolute finest and a book that tops all my lists as poignantly unforgettable.
I’m so speechless! This was such a heart wrenching story! It has taken me a couple days to write this review because I had to process everything. This book had me on the edge of my seat so many times. I wanted to jump in the book and punch Tammy so bad! I love Noah. He is everything Ensley always needed but couldn’t have. That ending!!! Once again this author has left me with a huge book hangover. Another amazing book that has so many twists and turns. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!!!
WOW!! This story deserves all the stars in the universe!!
In The Garden of Discontent is a freaking masterpiece. Utterly fantastic, phenomenal, unique, heart-freaking-breaking, heartwarming, and devastatingly beautiful!!
Be prepared for the ride of your life, and buckle-up for the mos twisty turns coming your way. Expect the unexpected!!
Phenomenalicious!
This book is the sum of everything I love about this author’s writing!
Brutally raw, gripping and suspenseful!
This unique story of childhood friends Ensley and Noah was a nail biting edge of my seat story as their journey unfolds to discover the truth about a tragic event.
Growing up under terrible hardships these 2 found unconditional love under the harshest conditions. They were each other’s everything until they weren’t!
The build up, the suspense and the unexpected twists and turns had me totally captivated. The emotions were front and center in this story. I felt I was sitting in the corner watching the scenes unfold.
I absolutely fell in love with these characters. They were far from perfect, and despite all the sadness and terrible circumstances, it was a story of hope and second chances.
Now, let me say this book was at times difficult to read as the writing was so realistic and there were triggers galore. For me, the triggers fit the complex and complicated life of these characters.
How it evolved you’ll have to dive in and read.
“If you go, I go. You hear that? I can’t exist in the world if you’re not in it with me.”
Oh wow! This book just devastated me!! This was definitely dark, no surprise there, it IS Lily White! But it was so poignant and heartbreaking and beautiful, all at once. Noah has to be my all time favorite book boyfriend. He loved Ensley so desperately, so completely, and it was such a pure love. He absolutely melted my heart! Of course, Ensley just broke my heart! Lily will make you feel ALL the emotions in this book! It was absolutely perfect!
“If you stay…I stay.”
This was my first book by this author and I really enjoyed it! In the Garden of Discontent is definitely a psychological read. It’s mysterious, suspenseful, and so angsty! It’s a bit of a mix of childhood friends, second chance, and enemies to lovers. If you like tragically beautiful reads, you’ll want to check this one out!
4.5 Stars!
Ensley Bennett was born into a situation she couldn’t escape. Bearing so much responsibility and the brunt of an abusive mother, Ensley tried to do the best she could to protect her loved ones. Isolated due to her circumstances, Ensley absorbed all the pain on her own until Noah Carter became her friend and source of comfort.
“Give me your pain, Ensley, and I’ll carry it for you.”
Told in dual POV shifting between past and present, the plot steadily develops revealing the bleakness of Ensley’s situation. With writing that sharply builds layers of heartache and pain, Ensley has nowhere to turn until all she knows is taken from her. However, the truth may be the most painful of all.
“I knew she’d gone to that place inside her, a deep belly darkness where she stuffed things away she didn’t want to acknowledge.”
Ensley is a character that made my chest hurt because she is willing to sacrifice so much of herself despite the consequences. Noah warmed my heart from the beginning with his kindness and unconditional friendship with Ensley. Their story is damaged, but it’s also the only way they know how to survive it.
In the Garden of Discontent is a dark romance offering a uncompromising story about sacrifice and the search for truth.
“ If you go , I go …”
Lily White is fast becoming my number one favorite author! One thing you can guarantee when you read a story by her is that they are unusual and unique stories and her world building and character development is very detailed. This story was so heartbreakingly beautiful and so intense at times , I was on the edge of my seat the whole way through! Noah is the most loyal all around good to the core character for a male that I have read about , his love for Ensley is so pure my heart literally broke for all he endured and had to suffer and to still have a heart so big and forgiving on a girl who at times I questioned rather she deserved his love was just amazing he loves her so fiercely and is loyal to her even when she wasn’t very loyal to him is just wow ! And Ensley at times I was so frustrated with her and wanted to shake her but let’s face it her life at home was utter shit , she was physically mentally and sexually abused and I have never felt so much hatred and anger towards a character as I did towards her mother , but this is fiction so she’s not real but this story is told in such a way that you feel it and you actually feel like these characters are real and that is story telling at its finest ! This story is definitely in my top reads for 2020 list and all’s I can say is I tip my hat to you Lily White you are a amazing story teller and definitely have my 5 stars for this beautiful story of love loss life and healing and that true love can conquer and heal all !
*** I voluntarily reviewed an advanced complimentary copy of this book ***
She has done it again!! I don’t know how Lily White writes one amazing nook after another, after another but she does. It was edgy and dark but it also had a touch of the emotional stuff as well. Heartbreaking and tragic……couldn’t put it down once I started.
A savage love! Heart-devouring and All-consuming tale from start to finish! Prepare your heart and your headboard.
“This is the beginning of my story, or the end, depending on how you look at it.”
I just love how Lily White spins a dark romance, it’s never what you’d expect. Noah! Noah! NOAH! These pages are sharp, you’ll definitely get a paper cut while reading, probably bleed a little, too. This story is rough and gritty, everything I love about dark couplings. And let’s not forget how Lily White does it, with uncomfortable tension. Jaw dropping moments, an hazy journey of what ifs and shrouded indecision. Ensley and Noah will probably leave you with some tears, I’m not gonna lie, I watered up at the end. Don’t tell anyone, don’t want to ruin my rep. This story took me back to The Five, one of my favorites from White. She really knows how to describe the bleakness that most would never comprehend, or understand. My chest felt like it was on fire.
“We were connected, the two of us, by invisible strings that were unbreakable over time or distance or heartache. We were unbreakable together, bound by a lifetime of promises and secrets.”
And with all the broken pieces and jagged edges come an unwavering love. It’s savage and brutal and darkly beautiful! I was surprised this wasn’t on the darker side, but I think the story was written with the two main characters as the main focus, their connection. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some triggers that could arise, and nothing is easy as far as Noah and Ensley are concerned. But if you’re like me, I DEMAND all the ugly, especially in my romances.
“That’s right, Ens. Make it hurt. Just like you always have. Make it hurt so fucking much that I carry more scars because of you.”
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND FOR DARK ROMANCE READERS!
This book set me on heels, spun my head and made me fall madly and deeply in love with the characters of Noah and Ensley!! If you have NEVER read a book by Lily White, might I suggest you start with this one!! If you are a FANGIRL like me…….YOU WILL DEFINITELY WANT TO READ THIS BOOK!!!
“If you go, I go.” So much to be said about that quote, but I will not spoil this for you………READ THE BOOK!!!
Ensley met Noah when she was 10 years old. They became best friends; and from that, sprang years of deceptions, lies and misunderstandings (mainly on Ensley’s part).
Noah, has been in prison for 22 years, for killing Ensley’s ENTIRE family!! It’s time they faced their past, their present and most importantly, THEIR FUTURE!!
Lily weaves a heartbreaking tale of Love, Hate, Friendship, and what one person is willing to sacrifice to SAVE his TRUE LOVE!!
**THIS BOOK IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE**
This is a story of secrets and truths buried in a garden; a garden of discontent. A garden that was poisoned by toxicity and pain, but like all gardens, it needed to be nurtured and loved in order to grow. Let me tell you, Noah and Ensley’s garden is in great need of some weeding and a whole lot of tender loving care.
I absolutely just fell in love with these characters. Noah, the ever loyal, fierce and affectionate boy, who was always wanting to protect Ensley from herself and the evil that plagued her life. And Ensley who was forced to do vile and depraved things in order to survive at such an innocent age. Her character truly broke my heart with her shame and suffering. But while Ensley may have been powerless, and as often as she thought about giving up, she was one of the strongest because she continued to survive even with those desires to just end it all constantly plaguing her thoughts.
There is nothing beautiful about the adversity in this story, it is an agonizingly ugly tale filled with pain and the heartbreaking price of innocence. But cultivated within all that ugliness is a complicated emotional story of love that begs to endure.
It never matters what book of Lily White’s that I read, I always know that it is going to be cleverly plotted, powerfully played out, and attention grabbing. White is a thoughtful, talented writer with a gift for complex characters and versatile plot lines. This profoundly suspenseful tale flaunts Lily White’s brilliance at being the talented author she is.
Pick up this story and fall in love with Noah and Ensley’s Garden of Discontent.
~If you go, I go.~
***5 ‘If You Go, I Go’ Stars***
I know I should have been prepared for this one.
I mean, I’ve read this author before. I’m a #fangirl. So I KNOW just how dark the dark can get.
But WHOA.
I’m trying to talk myself into “sleeping on it” before putting any words down but it ain’t workin’ so I might as well attempt something.
This book hooked me from the first page and wouldn’t let go…even when I kinda wanted it to so I could process all that was going one. But nope. Once Ensley and Noah got their hooks into me, it was all over and even though I knew nothing could happen without me, I couldn’t stop reading because their story was all kinds of dark, disturbing and hauntingly beautiful no matter how ugly it got.
Ensley and Noah and their brutal journey. There is so much I could say, and want to say, but all that they are, all that they go through, is something you need to go into as blindly as possible to fully appreciate. But what I will say is that they will bring out every emotion you could possibly imagine with their thoughts and actions and leave you emotionally wrung dry…and you’ll love every moment of the beautiful torture.
~ Copy provided by EJBP/author & voluntarily reviewed ~