This is a love story.It’s brutal.Heart-wrenching.Dirty, terrifying, and raw.But a love story nonetheless because it is so beautiful.Ensley:Noah Carter was the type of guy that every girl wanted.Gorgeous. Talented. Smart and kind.He was the world that revolved around me even though I didn’t deserve him.But then something went wrong.He snapped maybe, just lost his mind.I found him the night my … wrong.
He snapped maybe, just lost his mind.I found him the night my family died, their blood staining his hands.
I put him in prison. I got my revenge.
But then years later he found me again…
…and stole me away from my life.
Noah:
You couldn’t know Ensley without wanting to strangle her.
She was beautiful, she was wild, she was the girl next door
.I grew up with her by my side.
I watched her destroy herself while I held on.
I protected her when she had been blind to the danger that surrounded her.
I let her go once only to find her again.
She would see me this time no matter what.
DISCLAIMER: This book deals with sensitive subject matter that may be difficult for some readers.
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5* Gritty Stars
This was a very well written story with very complex characters whose pain you felt throughout the story. I enjoyed how it alternated between the past and present bringing the story together surprisingly well. The love that Noah had for Ensley was undeniably strong and heartfelt. This was not an easy read as you took the journey along with Noah and Ensley and especially the cruelty that Ensley had to endure.
This was and intense page turning read and I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend this wonderfully creative read.
“Are you stuck in your head today, Ensley? We’ve talked about this. You’re revisiting the past, aren’t you? What have we said about that?”
Screammss…Yesss Ensley…what have we said about that?? lol OMG you know when you read a Lily White book you are always in for such a treat with her effed up characters!!! doin the happy dance lol
“I considered calling the cops and leading them to that damn………..” Nope..nope…NOPE, YOU have to read the book to find out the rest of that sentence…lol Just writing my review is bringing back soooo many memories of this read…dang…I think I need to do a re-read all ready..lol
I finished Lily White’s newest release, In The Garden of Discontent a few days ago and I’m still thinking about it!!
I believe I’m a bit messed up about it!! Lol
My mind keeps saying ..”What the Hell is going on in that authors mind” Tricia Bartley?? Why do you love her sooo much Tricia Bartley?? haha You know why Tricia Bartley…cuzz you a bit cray cray in the head as well…lol
Sighs..then I remember who I am talking about and get a big ole smile on my face and go stalk her Facebook page and see when her next dark book is coming out!! xoxo @Lily White!!!!
My mind is so messed up after this one!!
Another 5 OMG Stars read!! I.CAN.NOT.GET.ENOUGH!!!
Lily White is putting out phenomenal book after phenomenal book. I have yet to read one that wasn’t epically fantastic. She knows how to spin a web and keep you entranced with her words.
In the Garden of Discontent was delicious, decadent darkness, and so much more. It’s a love story that stood the tests of loss, sacrifice, and forgiveness. The words poured from the page beautifully, capturing emotions with ease and wrapping me up in the story so tightly I felt like I needed to come up for air.
“If you go, I go … I mean it. If you die, I die. Never think I won’t follow you.” — Seriously, chills.
This is a must-read for me, and I highly recommend it.
An at times difficult read, jam packed with abuse, helplessness, neglect and misery.
This is more “psychological Lily” than “dark Lily”, an into the pits of hell mix of two. Please don’t ignore the warnings on this one!
This is one of those books that frequently switches between past and present, though it’s always made clear both WHEN you are and who’s point of view you were getting. The story is built mainly from the flashbacks, and I must admit I did struggle a little bit around 35% or so. I came close to skimming this because I was just getting a little frustrated, wanting to get somewhere in the now. However I set it aside and when I picked it back up the next day I couldn’t put the book down, so it was either me in an off mood or the story started moving in a way I needed it to. It doesn’t matter to much which one it was because after that I just couldn’t put this down.
“I love you, Ensley Bennett.”
My teeth slammed together, and I screamed, a noise tearing from my throat that has been stuck there since I was a kid.
I really, really, REALLY didn’t care for Noah at first, but as I saw the pain and misery he had willingly endured as a child/teen my feelings did a total 180 flip. And then I had to avoid thinking too much about the years he had spent in prison because that just broke my heart and crushed my mind.
Our pain had raised the boy, but prison had shaped the man.
He was the firm anchor that held Ensley’s sanity in place whilst her body and soul were battered by the storms and terrors of her life. She lived in a miserable pit of hell, let down by the very people who should have protected her. To be honest I didn’t care either way if Noah had killed her parents, they didn’t deserve any kindness.
There were so many things that could potentially make you dislike Ensley, her decisions, her secrets, her refusal to ask for or accept help. But at the end of the day we have to remember that she was a child, a victim of neglect and abuse, a girl who survived the best way she could and who wanted more for Noah. He was the best thing, the only thing of joy in her life, and because she loved him she wanted to set him free.
Noah had owned me since the moment he watched me from his window and called out to me the first time. I may not have known it then, but I knew it now, and was a better woman for it, his name was chiseled over every bone and branded on every organ.
I was his.
In body. In mind. And in spirit.
God this isn’t an easy read, and you’ll find yourself both loving every word whilst hating them. Hating the evil, the pain, the suffering but loving Ensley and Noah, two survivors who just never gave up.
He never stopped loving me.
Not when we were kids.
Not while he was locked away.
Not tonight.
And I just cried, the sobs shaking every part of me.
His arms a cage that kept me safe.
This book made The Five seem quite sweet and light by comparison. Don’t say you haven’t been warned, but DO give this a chance if you love a dark, psychological romance.
Love me, Ensley. Just open your eyes.
Trust me, Ens. I can help you.
Run to me, Ensley, I will take you away.”
Omg what a book from Lily. I swear she could reach into your heart and wring it dry and smiling while she’s doing it.
This book was something else it deals with such abuse that you want to reach in and strangle some people.
This story is about a girl and a boy who grew up together as neighbors and the abuse the girl silently took it will just break your heart and the boy who will do anything for save her.
“If you go, I go. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist”
This book has triggers dealing with some very sensitive material so be warned.
“Run to me…”
I absolutely love the twists and turns that Ms. White creates in her stories…much more than romance. A dark and twisty tale of love.
I am always amazed at Ms. White’s stories, she writes such dark tales yet her words draw you into her world with grace and deviousness that you don’t see coming. She is cunning and poetic in her tales of love in even the darkest of places.
This story of Noah and Ensley is beautiful in its brutality. The twists and turns are going to leave you guessing until the very end. And when secrets are revealed it’s going to make you gasp and shake with anger yourself.
The horrors that both Ensley and Noah face in their lives and the strength that they show is admirable. The dedication of Noah and the perseverance of Ensley is so moving. The obsessions that Ensley creates to move through her world are understandable and so sad at the same time. Noah’s neverending obsession of his own is both admirable and praiseworthy.
Ms. White has a magic to her words. You are going to experience so many different feelings in this book! Sadness, anger and above all else hope and love. The world in which she creates in this story is nothing short of epic and is definitely in the running for one of my best reads of 2020.
Let start off with this Warning: If you don’t like real life situations, this may not be the book for you… So, this is where I tell you to buckle up tight- cuz this is going to be one hell of a ride- I must say that I was on the edge of my seat the whole way through!
This is a story about a boy and a girl who grew up in hardship but had somehow found love in one another. And two kids who had clung to each other despite it all.
she first met him shortly after he moved in next door from her when she was only 10 years old…Noah and Ensley had formed bond basically from the first day they met
Noah Mason Carter and Ensley Bennett story, this is one hell of heart wrenching story …. One that you will not want to put down, but at times will want to reach into your kindle and you’ll want to kill Tammy Bennett yourself
You’ll see for yourself how, Ensley’s. mother was a demon dressed in pretty skin, a nightmare that deserved to die after everything she did. But not by him ……. Tammy Bennett was really pretty on the outside but her veins were filled with poison!-The things that Ensley’s mother made her do was beyond unacceptable for such young girl, but Ensley did them to protect her younger siblings- (Lena, Quinn and Devin)
Noah Mason Carter and Ensley Bennett story, this is one hell of heart wrenching story …. One that you will not want to put down, but at times will want to reach into your kindle and you’ll want to kill Tammy Bennett yourself
You’ll see for yourself how, Ensley’s. mother was a demon dressed in pretty skin, a nightmare that deserved to die after everything she did. But not by him ……. Tammy Bennett was really pretty on the outside but her veins were filled with poison!-The things that Ensley’s mother made her do was beyond unacceptable for such young girl, but Ensley did them to protect her younger siblings- (Lena, Quinn and Devin)
I think that my heart stopped few times in those last few chapters, and holy smokes and that EPILOGUE
I hope that you may appreciate the fact that Lily White does a wonderful job giving us the back story needed to understand Ensley and Noah better and see how they came to be the people they are. I know that I did
Oh before I forget if you enjoyed The Five by Lily White , you’ll definitely enjoy this read as well
I can say is I tip my hat to you Lily White you are a amazing story teller and definitely have my 5 stars from me
This was such an emotionally provoking read. I felt their mutual pain. It will be a book I think about over the years as it definitely makes an impact.
Ensley’s life was nothing but pain and sacrifice. Her only bright spot was him. Her best friend, Noah was her safe haven. The only place she could just be and feel safe…until the night her whole life fell apart.
Noah loved her from the very beginning. All he has ever wanted was her. She always knew she would destroy him and then she did.
Their story is heart-wrenching and will utterly devastate you. This friends-to-lovers romantic suspense was unforgettable and filled with raw emotion. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is definitely worth the heartache.
Dark Romance | Romantic Suspense
WOW! Okay, this book was a lot darker than I anticipated. But am I surprised? No. Lily White writes some dark stuff that can make any readers stomach churn. I learned this after reading The Five (which was VERY DARK, but VERY GOOD). But her books aren’t just dark. Beneath the layers of disturbing realities lies a love story that is so powerful that you can’t help but root for even the most sadistic characters. You’re not going to be reading this and saying to yourself “oh wow, their story is so swoony and charming.” Nope. You’re going to say to yourself “why the f*ck is this happening and who would write such a thing.” And then you’ll think, well, maybe it’s DARK but there’s something truthful about the story because honestly it DOES happen. Maybe we don’t want to live their lives but it’s interesting to see how some people HAVE to live. Get my drift? This is a tough book to stomach and it certainly won’t be a favorite of everyone’s, but it IS well written, raw, and intriguing.
Now, I don’t want to replay everything that happens in this book because it’s a tough story to pick apart and honestly, it’s something that needs to be read and felt without spoilers. However, I do want to leave a warning to potential readers to they know what they are getting into before reading.
WARNING: The subject matter of In the Garden of Discontent is TRIGGERING. Awful things happen to the heroine in the story (rape, abuse, and so forth). There is also a terrible murder (which is the main focus of the story) that will disturb you especially when you finally find out WHAT HAPPENED to the heroine’s younger siblings. Child abuse is detailed through flashbacks and it’s hard to read at some points. If any of this is a hard limit for you then you may want to read something else. This isn’t an easy book to take in by any means BUT once you weed through the hard times you will find a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
Now, despite the horror that goes on in this book I did enjoy the story as a whole. Sometimes I need an escape from reality and reading a dark and gritty book is a good escape for me. So, if you like darker romances especially those that push you out of your comfort zones then I recommend this one. If any of your hard limits are those, I mentioned above then you should skip it. This isn’t an easy read and should only be read by those who stomach this type of fiction.
Every time I sit down to read a book by this author, I know that there are gonna be things that throw me for a loop, and parts that make scratch my head, and parts that make me want to toss my device and cry.
This book did all of those things.
It took me but a few hours to claw my way through the story of Ensley & Noah, and I’m left here at the end trying to sort out my thoughts and emotions.
So here’s where I apologize if this review is essentially nonsense.
Ensley is still trying to sort her way through life after her family’s gruesome murder many years prior. She’s trapped in her schedule for day to day life, basically living in a haze. I felt that. And I could understand not only her pain, but her need for that consistency.
Noah has been gone for many years for this very crime. But now the time has come for his side of the story. And what was delivered to us was mind bending. I loved Noah. I could feel not only his infatuation, but the friendship, loyalty and love he had for the girl next door.
I haven’t read anything by this author that I wouldn’t recommend, and this one is no different.
I finished this one late last night/early this morning and it left me gutted. I still don’t really know how to feel about it. Numb? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m very happy with how it ended but my heart still aches a little. Not even just my heart, my whole SOUL HURTS. Ugh.
Seriously, the first few lines of the blurb describe this book to a T. It’s an intense and heartbreakingly ugly love story. If you can, go into it blind and just soak it in. Truly a page turner that was so worth the lack of sleep.
*Trigger warnings for sensitive subject matter:physical/sexual abuse, rape, suicidal ideations*
Such an unusual and intriguing book!! Horrific experiences, murder, and finding the truth made for a captivating story!! So many twists and turns!! Lily never ceases to amaze me!!
The Garden Of Discontent is a book of heartache, loss and let’s not forget sacrifices.
Lily sure are hell knows how to write a book with all the feels. You can help but feel all the love and anguish as you’re reading. I felt every emotion the characters felt and it’s left me here now not knowing what to write as my emotions are all over the place.
What I can definitely say is this book is fantastic, and get ready to have your heart ripped out and your emotions thrown around and you are reading.
10+++ stars for this fantastic book
“If you go, I go…”
So, while I was reading this crazy story, I listened to Snow Patrol mainly their song called Chasing Cars. I felt like it fit Ensley and Noah. They spent so many quiet moments together, just trying to forget the world.
God… Just thinking about those two make me sad, happy, and a little angry. I felt so much for these characters. I can’t wait for the next shoe to drop. I can’t wait for the blood and tears. I can’t waiting for the pain to wash over me.
I felt so much for the lovable Noah. Jesus… He loved Ensley without question. That is a damn rarity right there. Most readers call certain characters a book boyfriend. I don’t know if book boyfriend would do Noah justice.
Oh Ensley… Damn… what can I say? Her pain was real. Her struggle with the world around her and the struggle within herself was painfully obvious. She tried time and time again to mask it. But it couldn’t be hidden from Noah.
One more thing about my Noah…. Yes, I said my Noah. He holds the definition of unconditional, heck, even unconventional love. The love that he had for Ensley was heavy but he was more than willing to carry it.
Quotes that fit this story so well are the following:
I will not have you without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither can we. – Nikita Gill
Beauty surrounds us, but usually we need to be walking in a garden to know it. – Rumi
“If I stay, I stay…”
Mini Playlist
Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars
Florence The Machine- Shake It Out
Flyleaf- I’m So Sick
Imagine Dragons- Bleeding Out
* Beta Read *
In The Garden of Discontent was another fabulous Lily White story. Like White’s previous stories it was dark and edgy but I found this story to also be quite emotional and touching. Noah and Ensley were so raw and provocative. Their pain was palpable and their bond everlasting. This was one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read!
This story was very very real and almost traumatic at points as White does an amazing job highlighting Ensley and Noah’s tumultuous and brutal love story. But what I loved more than anything was the feeling of hope prevalent throughout the story. There was pain and violence but there was also a timeless love story between two people who defied the odds and persevered. I know this story will stay with me for an long time! 5 stars! ~Ratula
I don’t know how Lily White does it but with each and everyone of her books she brings us some unique and interesting characters. This time around she gave birth to a boy named Noah and a girl named Ensley. Their story is told in dual POV from past to present and we are walked through their life starting with their first meeting in what was to become the garden of discontent at the tender age of 10 and nearly 11.
Noah and Ensley’s path through life definitely was not a smooth one. I’m still just a tiny bit on the fence with how I feel about Noah. One minute my heart went out to him and then in the next breath I was yelling at him to stop being a smuck and see the truth. But Noah being Noah he stayed true to himself and his mantra of ‘ If you go, I go’. The boy definitely defined the man.
Ensley is a whole different kettle of fish. She is passionate, loving and everything she did, she did for her younger siblings. The life she led was crushing and it broke my heart with the darkness and inner turmoil the drove her to the dark depths that became her reality.
The suspense that bled through the pages had my heart beating so fast I just couldn’t put this book down. Noah and Ensley’s story will stay with me for a long time
I sat up late for two nights reading this. When I wasn’t reading it I was thinking about it. The story and the characters got under my skin. Ensley and Noah… wow. Two amazing characters. This author is in a league of her own. No matter what I read by her she has her own unique style that has me hooked from start to finish. I absolutely loved this story and can’t wait for more from this amazing author.
I love Lily White! This was the most original love story I have read. It is a hard and brutal look at child abuse, childhood love and loyalty to a fault. I am a dark romance lover and this story shredded me! Trigger Warning
5 TWISTED LOVE STARS!! Oh my….what a crazy twisted love story!! I am still shaking my head….what did I just read?!?! Noah and Ensley will take you on one heck of a ride, so get ready and buckle up. Lily White has moved into my top 1-Click authors. Her writing and mind set is perfect for me….dark, different and so captivating. I need more!!
Why does this author always have me screaming at my kindle???
Because her books are that freaking good!!!
This story was no exception. Lily White can write dark, gritty, raw stories like no other. She sucks you in and holds you captive until the very last page.
Her characters are so damaged, and so twisted that you have to stop and wonder how she comes up with them. You want to wrap your arms around her female lead characters and hug them and her male lead characters leave you breathless.
This book was a fast paced, breath holding, rollercoaster ride. My heart broke for Ensley and Noah. Ensley for the horrible, brutal, childhood she had. And for Noah because he couldn’t protect the girl he loved.
Get ready for an ending you won’t see coming even while your reading it.