“This new novel has more twists and fakeouts than an episode of Serial.”—Rolling Stone“An eerie, twisted thriller sure to shake up the most seasoned true crime die-hard.”—Harper’s BazaarA Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Rolling Stone • CNN • E! Online • Buzzfeed • New York Post • Popsugar • Woman’s Day • Crime Reads • Hello Giggles When her favorite true crime podcast host goes missing, an … Day • Crime Reads • Hello Giggles
When her favorite true crime podcast host goes missing, an adrift young woman sets out to investigate and plunges headfirst into the wild backcountry of Northern California and her own dangerous obsession.
Sera loves true crime podcasts. They give her a sense of control in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She’s sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, goes missing, Sera knows it’s time to act. Rachel has always taught her to trust her instincts.
Sera follows the clues hidden in the episodes to an isolated ranch outside Rachel’s small hometown to begin her search. She’s convinced her investigation will make Rachel so proud. But the more Sera digs into this unfamiliar world, the more off things start to feel. Because Rachel is not the first woman to vanish from the ranch, and she won’t be the last…
Rachel did try to warn her.
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Well what a ride this one was! If I Disappear by Eliza Jane Brazier is a debut but you could have fooled me. I loved the tenseness in this book, and I thought it was both perfectly suspenseful while also giving the reader a very claustrophobic feel. It is definitely a slow burn, but I could not put it down and there is enough going on that you just want to keep reading until the very end. I love that every chapter starts with an excerpt from Rachel’s true crime podcast, and that plus the short chapters made the book fly by. You can never be sure of Sera as a narrator, and she was a bit unreliable overall which I think brought something extra to the story.
The isolated ranch couldn’t have been a better setting, and there are so many things that gave me the heebie-jeebies. If I Disappear is a very unsettling read, and while nothing is overly descriptive, there are still plenty of disturbing and chilling things about it. I thought the writing was fantastic and it was a very unique and smart debut. I definitely had no idea where it was headed, and the end left me with my mouth hanging open and chills. I don’t normally love the kind of end this one has, but it really worked here, and I was satisfied with it. Maybe there will be a follow-up in the future?? I can only hope, and no matter what Brazier’s next book is I will definitely be reading it!
Thank you to the publisher for my advance review copy via NetGalley. All opinions and thoughts are my own.
If the gorgeous cover doesn’t get your attention, the intrigue of a crime behind a true-crime podcast will! I have several acquaintances who are absolutely hooked on true crime podcasts, so I felt compelled to give If I Disappear a try.
Sera Fleece is a bit lost after her divorce. She spends her days obsessing over a true-crime podcast, Murder, She Spoke. When the podcast’s host, Rachel Bard, suddenly stops posting, Sera feels something is amiss, and she won’t stop searching for Rachel until she has answers. Oddly, Sera seems to be the only person who is disturbed by Rachel’s disappearance.
The writing is gorgeously evocative. I wasn’t in love with the second-person narrative, and I found the start of the story somewhat confusing because of the mixed format. However, the premise and the eventual story content are intriguing (especially the snippets of Rachel’s podcast). Author Eliza Jane Brazier’s debut novel is dramatic and tension-filled. The dialogue is cracking, and the characters are unique and memorable. Ms. Brazier gives readers a reason to question many of the characters, even Sera.
You don’t have to be a true-crime podcast fan to enjoy the shady characters and remote location of this creepy mystery.
This book is creepy, y’all. In the best way. The atmospheric, beautiful writing and strong voice make the inside of protagonist Sera’s head, with her pathos and obsession, a fascinating place to be. Would a woman who’s working through her issues in a healthy way go haring off in search of answers when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, disappears? Would she lie her way into a job at Rachel’s (creepy!) parents’ ranch? Absolutely not, but Sera’s messiness, lack of boundaries, and poor decisions are part of what make her so interesting to read. None of the characters in this book are “likable,” whatever that means, but most of them are sympathetic in some way.
One of my favorite things about IF I DISAPPEAR is that every element, every description, go toward creating a sense of dread that builds as Sera pieces together the mystery of what happened to Rachel. There’s also relatable and timely exploration of issues around calling women “crazy” and dismissing their perspectives. A dark and compelling read!
Very rarely can I devour a book in one sitting these days – mostly because I end up falling asleep after half-an-hour of sitting still. If I Disappear, by Eliza Jane Brazier, is the exception to that rule. Marvelously atmospheric, it’s a fascinating character examination of the main character, Sera, who turns her attention to the mystery of a missing podcaster rather than confront her own demons. Particularly compelling was some of the more nuanced underlying feminist commentary. All this is wrapped up in a taut, chilling suspense novel with an ending I never saw coming.