Identity Theft follows Stanford professor Debra Meyerson’s journey to recover from a severe stroke that initially left her physically incapacitated and unable to speak. In addition to providing realistic expectations for the hard work needed to regain everyday capabilities, Meyerson focuses on the less frequently documented emotional journey in recovery. Virtually every survivor is haunted by … survivor is haunted by questions like: “Who am I now?” and “How do I rebuild a meaningful and rewarding life?” after losing so much of what they had before–capabilities, careers and jobs, relationships, and more. This is a book full of hope for survivors–from stroke or other injuries–as well as their families and support networks.
All author proceeds from this book will go to Stroke-Forward.org, a nonprofit initiative that will support stroke and other survivors, and advocate for a more human-centered approach to health care.
Identity Theft centers on Debra’s experience: her stroke, her extraordinary efforts to recover, and her journey to redefine herself. But she also draws on her skills as a social scientist, sharing stories from several dozen fellow survivors, family members, friends, colleagues, therapists, and doctors she has met and interviewed. By sharing this diversity of experiences, Debra highlights how every person is different, every stroke is different, and every recovery is different. She provides a valuable look at the broad possibilities for successfully navigating the challenging physical recovery–and the equally difficult emotional journey toward rebuilding one’s identity and a rewarding life after a trauma like stroke.
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Identity Theft is a great read—certainly for any stroke survivor or person close to one, but also for anyone trying to find balance and purpose in the face of life-altering change. The book is Debra Meyerson’s deeply compassionate, extraordinarily inspiring narrative about coming to terms with who she is, how she will live her life, and what kind of contribution she now has to offer the world after stroke changed her life as she had known it: a scholar deeply engaged in research and teaching aimed at advancing workplace equality; an athlete with a passion for skiing, sailing, running, biking, hiking; a mother of a teenage daughter at home and two sons in college, committed to being their rock as they forged their way to adulthood; a spouse who imagined a life with her husband predicated on all these abilities and aspirations remaining intact and obtainable for many more years to come. Eight years post-stroke and thousands of hours of rehab later, Debra has made serious strides in her physical recovery and, just as capably as before, she can voice ideas in her head, but she still struggles to express them verbally and in writing, has little use of her right arm and hand, and walks with a limp.
This book asks the question: who are we when what we have come to believe are our most valued capacities—whether to give a lecture or race down a ski slope, as in Debra’s case, or to play ball with one’s young son or to coach marathon runners or to be the handy-man around the house, the family bread-winner, a proficient public speaker, or an ace project manager, as in the case of other stroke survivors profiled in this book—have been dramatically diminished, or taken away completely, by a debilitating event or illness? The answer, we learn, through Debra’s inspiring story, is the following: we can be the person we choose to become in light of what is now possible. We can come to understand and accept the loss of what was; we can connect to what’s truly important—our values, our motivations, the people we love; and we can work like hell to craft a new life, and to construct a concomitant new sense of self, that aligns with those commitments.
What is truly remarkable about this book is that it is not a Pollyanna-like treatise on the power of positive thinking, though positive thinking is surely an important component of stroke recovery. Rather, it describes in achingly vivid detail the long road Debra has traveled to reach these realizations and the mix of feelings she’s experienced along the way: sometimes beleaguered and hopeless, sometimes exhilarating, often surprising, but almost always ultimately uplifting. Setbacks were many: for Debra, a second stroke suffered just weeks after the first; a less than hoped-for recovery of speech, despite years of (ongoing) dogged determination; the necessity, finally, to give up her tenured faculty position at Stanford. She explains honestly how, to this day, she still experiences spurts of anger, depression, frustration. But she also explains and appreciates what she sees as her many gifts: a deeply touching, greater closeness to her children; her husband’s unwavering support, offered with seemingly inexhaustible humor and good cheer; new friends, people she’d never have encountered but for stroke; opportunities to channel all of her significant passion, energy, and smarts into a new-found purpose—helping stroke survivors, as well as those who love and support them, through the emotional challenges of rebuilding a meaningful sense of self post-stroke.
Is Debra happier post-stroke? In many ways, she says, yes. If she could reel back time and were given the choice, would she choose stroke? No, she tells us in no uncertain terms: “having a stroke sucks.” But what we see in this book is how the inevitable changes we will all experience, in one way or another—whether changes wrought by illness or brain trauma or accident or simply the changes we all encounter as we grow older and lose aspects of ourselves that at one time felt critical to defining who we are—beauty, physical stamina, mental acuity, a daily work routine, a spouse, a role as parent of young children—can be opportunities to embrace a new reality, to redefine ourselves, to learn and grow in previously unimagined ways, and to continue to make a positive difference to the people and purposes that matter most to us.
Identity Theft” is a gift that offers hope to anyone that has struggled with a life changing event, for both the survivor and their families. Dr Debra Meyerson shares insight and helpful strategies in developing a “New Normal” in the rebuilding of a rewarding life. A resource everyone should have in their personal library!
Wow! Identity Theft is a powerful book for anyone, but a “must-read” for people who have suffered physical and emotional setbacks in their lives, as well as their families, friends, and caretakers. It is a remarkably honest and inspirational account of the journeys and growth of so many survivors/”thrivers” post stroke. They were “jolted from [their] cruise-control paths” and forced to do deep soul-searching and exploration. Debra Meyerson shares many practical tips for how she and the other amazing survivors struggle to redefine, accept, and embrace their new identities. We can all learn valuable and transformative lessons to apply in our own lives!
Fantastic Book!
Identity Theft is a profoundly moving and inspirational book that takes us on a journey of finding a new self-identity after suffering a stroke. The book is honest, raw, uplifting and powerful as it follows Deb Meyerson’s post stroke recovery, as well as those of dozens of other stroke survivors. What surprised me most is how relevant this “rediscovery process” is to not only survivors and families affected by stroke, but to every family/person who has faced a serious illness, injury, trauma, disability or major life change that leaves us asking “Who am I now….and Who do I want to be going forward?” As a parent of a non-verbal adult child with autism, I saw so many parallels on the difficulties life with aphasia brings, but the importance and beauty of carving a path that creates a rich, full life.
Life’s journey can often include devastating challenges, but Identity Theft shows us road maps where determination, resilience, compassion, positive attitude and a supportive personal network can help lead to a new version of self-identify and a life with purpose and meaning. As Deb Meyerson and Danny Zuckerman so movingly write: “I realized how many of us are united in this journey to understand and shape our own identities in the face of life changes…Every person is different. Every stroke is different. Every recovery is different…. Our options may be more limited because we have disabilities, but we still get to choose where we steer our path next, who we become now. Stroke may cripple some of our capabilities, shut down aspects of our life we thought were important, knock us off the direction we thought we were headed. But for those of us lucky enough to be survivors, stroke does not steal our future or who we get to become next.”
“Identity Theft – Rediscovering Ourselves After Stroke” is a must read for anyone who has suffered a stroke, or life changing illness/injury (and their family members) that necessitates building a new path forward to create a life with meaning.
Identity Theft is both inspiring and eye opening. A must-read for survivors, caregivers and loved ones.
Debra Meyerson’s book, Identity Theft: Rediscovering Ourselves After Stroke, combines the elements of a memoir, textbook, and philosophy of life into a must read book for stroke survivors and their families. By intertwining her voice with others, she leads us through her own recovery with deliberation, strength, and even humor. Identity Theft allows the reader to share in Meyerson’s journey as she redefines herself and her reason for being.
Identity Theft does exactly what Meyerson hopes to do. It teaches. Through interviews and research, the book delves into the physical and psychological battle necessary to recover from stroke. It also gives much needed information about the resources and limits of the medical community. Clearly stated and outlined, the book becomes a valuable tool for those involved or interested in the stroke community.
Identity Theft’s many elements deftly raise awareness of stroke and its victims. More than that, the book teaches the reader a lesson in defining oneself that goes far beyond stroke survival. Debra Meyerson’s strength and personality resonate.
Identity Theft is an important book and one that should be read. I highly recommend it.
Identity Theft is a gift to the world and I recommend it for anyone who has undergone a major trauma (stroke or otherwise) and for their caregivers. For many stroke survivors, they haven’t lost their cognitive abilities, but suffer from aphasia that hinders their ability to translate their thoughts into words, so many think they have. Dr. Debra Meyerson dispels this and examines other challenges with a thoughtful, comprehensive look at her experience and those of other stroke survivors. People expect the difficulty of the long hours of physical therapy, but much less has been written about how to deal with the emotional challenges of having your identity snatched from you in an instant. Once it became clear to Debra that she could no longer do many of the activities that formed her existing identity as a tenured Stanford professor, accomplished skier and sailor, etc… , she realized she couldn’t “recover” her identity, so sought to “rebuild” it. She looked at the values underlying each part of her identity, and then looked for substitutes within her abilities to establish a new identity.
Her story and others are inspirational, but she also looks at the ongoing frustrations of others who cling to their former identity and refuse to rebuild a new one. The book oozes with love and care as she give practical advice on everything from dealing with family impacts, a different social life, intimacy, financial difficulties, the medical system, and more. Most encouraging are the multiple examples of how many survivors continue to make remarkable progress long after a year, which is the medical establishment’s standard view of when progress stops.
This book is very readable. As a stroke survivor myself (fortunately it was mild and a fraction of Debra’s and other stories in the book), I found so much truth and previously unspoken wisdom in this book. My only criticism is that her findings around identity have much broader applicability than just strokes. She interviewed someone who suffered a brain trauma and another with ALS, but more could have been said about this.