John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it. He’s spent his life doing his best not to live up to his potential. He’s obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn’t want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he’s written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation. Dead … damnation.
Dead bodies are normal to John. He likes them, actually. They don’t demand or expect the empathy he’s unable to offer. Perhaps that’s what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there’s something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat—and to appreciate what that difference means.
Now, for the first time, John has to confront a danger outside himself, a threat he can’t control, a menace to everything and everyone he would love, if only he could.
Dan Wells’s debut novel, I Am Not a Serial Killer, is the first volume of a trilogy that will keep you awake and then haunt your dreams.
At the Publisher’s request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
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I have read EVERY Dan Wells book – read this one and you will be hooked!
At first, the protagonist in Dan Wells’ I Am Not a Serial Killer feels like a young-adult version of Dexter (Jeff Lindsay’s surprisingly likable vigilante psychopath). John Wayne Cleaver is a teenager with murderous impulses. But he doesn’t want to act on them, so he walls off his inner monster with an ironclad set of rules: if you’re thinking about hurting someone, compliment them instead; if you’re starting to obsess over someone, avoid them for at least a week; etc. Basically, don’t be crazy. All of this is similar to Dexter’s “code,” guidelines he follows to channel his demons in ways that don’t endanger innocents.
But then a real demon shows up and starts butchering people. And it’s this supernatural component that begins to set I Am Not a Serial Killer apart. We’ve seen the “It takes a killer to catch a killer” angle before; setting John on the trail of an actual monster was an interesting wrinkle.
Beyond the otherworldly aspect, though, what I really liked was how John’s inner conflict drove the story. He convinces himself he’s the only one who can stop the demon, but to do so, he has to unleash his own. Embracing his personal darkness both helps and hurts his cause: John’s confident he can kill the demon, but he’s drawn to—and distracted by—the carnage his quarry leaves in its wake. The demon also turns out to be a reluctant villain, motivated by emotions that make it feel more human to John than he does to himself.
My only real issue was that the supernatural element ultimately felt a little underplayed (and late; it doesn’t get introduced until several chapters in). John is shocked when he first sees the demon reveal its true form, but he doesn’t seem surprised that it exists. Even if this is because he lives with his own beast, I could have done with more of John researching tales of demons, looking to mythology for ways to defeat them, etc.
Oh, and it goes without saying that the story is super twisted. But if you liked Dexter or want to see a great example of how to connect—and complicate—a character’s inner and external goals, give I Am Not a Serial Killer a shot.
(For more reviews like this one, see http://www.nickwisseman.com)
Such an interesting and entertaining read–John Wayne Cleaver definitely makes for a great narrator.
Surprisingly good!
The first in the series, a really clever plot, well written, lots of fun to read.
Not a single book since this one has my sanity ever been questioned. Having mental health problems of my own, I related to John a little too well. It got to the point where I began to wonder if I was a sociopath. Also, learning the difference between sociopathy and psychopathy was fascinating and eye-opening.
This is not a book I would recommend to everyone. It is certainly not something that just anyone would enjoy reading. I feel I need to put a big ol’ disclaimer up front and say that this isn’t a book for the faint-hearted. This is a book for someone who likes dark themes and disturbing plot lines all wrapped up in a poignant character study. While this is a horror novel and has paranormal aspects to it, I really would classify it as more of a character driven story. The events of the plot do push things forward to a degree, but the heart of the book is taking a look at a person struggling between what they believe is good and the darkness they are drawn to. The entire story centers around the idea that the main character struggles with emotional dysfunction and has spent many years training himself to do what he needs to be appear normal and keep himself from crossing into becoming a serial killer, but that all comes into question when a demon (a literal, not metaphorical one) starts killing people and the main character is the only one who knows what’s going on and can stop it. He has a decision to make–keep the status quo or throw away his carefully constructed constraints and rules in order innocent people.
The whole character arc is fabulous and well done. There’s a lot of parallels between his internal struggles and what anyone facing some inner demon (no pun intended) deals with. While the main character’s specific turmoil may not be universally understood–unless you, too, are a sociopath–a lot of the lines he crosses and the actions he takes to try to keep himself in check is something that anyone who struggles with urges they don’t want to give into would go through. Frankly, it reminded me a lot of struggling with an addiction of any sort. Watching his fight for normalcy and his justifications for each step down the dark path was thrilling to read.
The writing is wonderful, too. I liked the main character’s voice and though I’m not a huge fan of 1st person (it’s way over done…especially in YA), it really worked for this book and enhanced the story.
Like I said, this is a dark book and it’s not one I would recommend to just anyone. It’s violent and gory and certainly has a lot of “ew!” moments, though weirdly enough, I found the detailed descriptions of the main character’s work at his family’s mortuary far more disgusting and disturbing than the murders. I hate gore and I am not normally a horror fan, but this book worked for me because it was so well written and the main character is so well done. It is a YA novel, so I wouldn’t say it’s overly disgusting and doesn’t spend a lot of time focusing on the blood, guts, and gore, but the dark nature of the story in general isn’t for everyone.
I had misgivings going in (based on the title) as I normally steer away from true crime/horror. This was more fantasy/horror. Yes, it was frightening and gory, but the 15 yo MC kept me mesmerized and anxious to see how it all turned out, and the ending was a bit of a surprise to me. I was riveted, saddened and appalled by this one.
I didn’t notice until I finished reading that this is the first in a six book series. I might read the next but not immediately. While this one was interesting and kept me reading, it’s not really a favorite genre for me or one that I normally seek out.
Did trilogy on tape, er cd, and books. Daughter and i both loved series. Mr. Nobody.
I loved it so much, I bought the rest of the series the next day.
What an awesome surprise! Sociopaths are people who cannot connect to other human beings. They have feelings but cannot relate to others and their emotions. Before starting this book I figured it would be very hard for me to care about the main character since for me empathy is fundamental, and the most important feature in a book is that I can relate.
Well, DAMN!
John Cleaver is a fifteen-year-old sociopath who is doing whatever he can to resist his fascination with serial killers. He doesn’t want to kill people, or better, he wants to a lot, but he heard it’s wrong and despicable and learned to act “normal”.
Add to that he helps his mortician mom and you get how creepy this book starts.
Then, a real serial killer shows up and John will be busy diverting suspicion from himself and using his morbid fascination to catch (or befriend or kill?) the evil monster.
Wow, beautifully written, as far as I can tell psychologically accurate, gripping, fascinating: this book is a mix between Pulp Fiction and Dexter (which instead is completely unrealistic). Not for the squirmish. Get a sample, if you survive the first chapter where they are very graphically embalming a body, you are good to go for the rest of this incredible, original, captivating ride.
Good story…would have liked a lil more info on the monster and where it came from.
just ok
I found the beginning of this book to be boring and an over abundance of profanity. I couldn’t read beyond the second chapter. Don’t waste your money on this.
The book moves and engages the reader through a little more than half the book, but then it tangles itself up in a ridiculously silly plot resolution. Too bad. I could have recommended it if judged on the first half of the book.
Might be good for YA. The fantasy aspects were unappealing to me.
A delightful read, full of sit and a few jaw-droppers. Decidedly off-beat, this book is an engaging if strange coming-of-age tale. A nice change of pace from the usual.
Liked it enough to read in one days but parts did drag on. Overall fun to read
I hoped this would be a good follow up to I Hunt Killers or My Sister Rosa. It was not.
The beginning was slow, and I kept putting it down in favor for faster paced books. I would give the ending a four-star though because I didn’t see the twist coming.
Ultimately, the ending was well done, so I was glad I read it.