From Cat Marnell, “New York’s enfant terrible” (The Telegraph), a candid and darkly humorous memoir of prescription drug addiction and self-sabotage, set in the glamorous world of fashion magazines and downtown nightclubs. At twenty-six, Cat Marnell was an associate beauty editor at Lucky, one of the top fashion magazines in America—and that’s all most people knew about her. But she hid a secret … her. But she hid a secret life. She was a prescription drug addict. She was also a “doctor shopper” who manipulated Upper East Side psychiatrists for pills, pills, and more pills; a lonely bulimic who spent hundreds of dollars a week on binge foods; a promiscuous party girl who danced barefoot on banquets; a weepy and hallucination-prone insomniac who would take anything—anything—to sleep.
This is a tale of self-loathing, self-sabotage, and yes, self-tanner. It begins at a posh New England prep school—and with a prescription for Attention Deficit Disorder medication Ritalin. It continues to New York, where we follow Marnell’s amphetamine-fueled rise from intern to editor through the beauty departments of NYLON, Teen Vogue, Glamour, and Lucky. We see her fight between ambition and addiction and how, inevitably, her disease threatens everything she worked so hard to achieve.
From the Condé Nast building (where she rides the elevator alongside Anna Wintour) to seedy nightclubs, from doctors’ offices and mental hospitals, Marnell shows—like no one else can—what it is like to live in the wild, chaotic, often sinister world of a young female addict who can’t say no.
Combining lightning-rod subject matter and bold literary aspirations, How to Murder Your Life is mesmerizing, revelatory, and necessary.
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Horrible writing – boring brag and boast about the awful person she was and her silver spoon failings. I quite a few chapters in and recommend not wasting your time!
Unbelievable but true (I trust) account of her life after hours as a beauty editor for a top mag in NYC. I can not imagine how she managed to survive her sordid lifestyle. Horrifying.
Great read!!
Book made for millenials, not for seasoned readers. Not recommended for people over 30.
Very realistic; feels like you’re experiencing her messed up life along with her.
I loved this memoir!
Too self absorbed. One bad decision after another. It depresses me.
I liked? this book, but her life is a complete horror story. I am amazed she is still alive, and in recovery for real.
Fascinating account of an addict’s journey. A bit repetitive but that’s addiction!
The main character was incredibly self centered and self indulgent. I was at a loss to understand why anyone would want to read her rambling reflections. There was no particularly interesting information about the fashion world, just a lot of name dropping. To top it off, the writing was terrible.
The woman who wrote this book is the most drug-addicted person I’ve ever heard about. With all the drugs she’s done, it is a miracle that she is still alive! However, after all she’s been through, she is still using drugs!! I saw the author giving a taped interview and she admitted that she is still using stimulant medication, but that her addiction is “under control.” She is fooling herself, because she was obviously “tweaking” during the interview. The fact that she is still using makes the whole story a waste of time, but if you enjoy watching train wrecks, you might enjoy this one. I predict she will never make it to middle age.
Wow! Could barely put down this raucous, shocking diary of a highly functioning drug addict who just happens to be functioning in the world of high fashion. Beloved and consistently helped by all around her, the author kept on seeking out bad romances with drug-sharing men. It’s a bold confessional, with an ending that’s more resigned than repaired.
Great read, amazing how a talented, smart, attractive young woman can feel so worthless and allow drugs and people leeches to screw her life! Amazing she was able to move to the top of her profession while being so fcked up on drugs. I enjoyed this book immensely! Wish the author a great life….
Written in brutal honesty, but with a witty and funny touch, this memoir follows the addictive journey of a talented young woman who manages to go completely off the rails while staying employed at least for awhile. The tale is addictive itself and hard to put down. I was thinking every teenager should read it, but after finding out at the end that the author never did get “clean” but is happy and doing well I’m not sure that’s a message we want to convey. Very well written.