Sometimes the only way to move forward… is to go back.JAMESI don’t know what’s more shocking—the sudden end to my marriage, or the fact that I’d married a woman at all. But now I’m broke and homeless, kicked out of my Upper West Side apartment while my ex-wife walks away with everything we’ve ever worked for.So what’s an executive chef stripped of his dignity gonna do?Go back to Jersey with his … do?
Go back to Jersey with his tail between his legs, that’s what.
BEN
I can’t say that spending a decade pining after my best friend was the best use of my time. While I’d pretty much become an expert at the whole unrequited love thing, I’d resigned myself to the fact that Jimmy and I were never gonna happen. But when Jimmy turned up on my doorstep in his hour of need, I jumped at the chance to offer him my bed—er, couch. I mean, what are friends for, right?
Now that he’s released from the shackles of matrimony, I can’t wait to show him exactly what he’s been missing out on all these years.
What I didn’t anticipate was him showing me that maybe I’d been missing out too.
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I have to admit, this week’s book was a total and utter joy. It’s the first one in quite a while that I read purely by choice rather than as part of my helping-my-fellow-authors-get-their-words-seen-and-loved outreach program.
Which basically means, this was a pleasure read that truly ended up being just that: a total delight. In fact, I downloaded this bad boy on my Kindle with the goal of reading a chapter here and there when I had the time. Next thing I knew, late morning had turned into early evening and I had devoured the whole thing. In one sitting. Yeah, Home Skillet by Cate Ashwood & Sandra Damien is one of those books. The kind you get sucked into and forget to eat, or sleep, or relieve your bladder.
Not that I’m complaining. Because, like I said, this was 100% up my alley, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Obviously, for those of you who know anything about me, my forte is gay, male/male romance. That’s what I write, and that’s what I love. That doesn’t mean I can’t and don’t read many other genres—and more often than not quite love what I read because, hi, word love all around, am I right?—but this book totally scratched my itch for some hot man-on-man love action.
The plot itself is based on a trope—they exist for a reason, folks… because people love ‘em!—but it’s done in a refreshing and unique way. Yes, there’s a closeted gay man who’s in love with his best friend, and, yes, said closeted gay man goes to the extremes of marrying a straight woman to hide who he really is both from himself and the world. But that’s kind of where the super tropey nature ends.
I fell for Ben right from the start. His character is strong, his personality distinct, and his heart bigger than most. He isn’t ashamed of who he is, and he isn’t ashamed of who he loves. However, he doesn’t hate Jimmy for being unable to travel that same path, and instead, he loves from afar and suffers the repercussions in silence, all the while remaining an amazing, supportive, and always-there-for-you kinda best friend. But on top of all that, I also adore how down-to-Earth and real he is. He works a somewhat dead-end job, but does so with pride and dedication, and he lives in a somewhat crap-apartment, yet turns it into a home. He isn’t money hungry, nor does he seek more from life than what matters most: happiness, love, and family (whether that family shares his DNA or not).
And Jimmy? Oh, folks, you’ll adore him too. He’s a professional chef with a world of skill, yet he respects the roles those beneath him play and strives to make the best of himself without harming others. Yes, he’s hiding from who he is, but that doesn’t make him weak. On the contrary, as the wise and sage Ben so beautifully put it: “I know it might not seem like it right now, but being who you are instead of hiding… it’s so much easier.”
I absolutely adore Ben and Jimmy’s story. They face countless difficulties in their path to finding and owning their love, but they are genuine, believable, and heartbreakingly honest. Even though I knew they’d wind up together in the end—thank goodness for small favors with the expectations of romance, am I right?—I still found myself biting my lip and frowning into my Kindle as little bubbles of unease worked their way into my system. I knew they’d get past the hurdles they faced but watching them from my readerly perch of uselessness had me tense and thoroughly invested. Which, of course, made the resultant pay-out that much sweeter.
Plus, let’s be honest here… the sex scenes were hot. Not quite erotica level, but descriptive and beautifully intense, both emotionally and physically.
Overall, this is a quick and thoroughly enjoyable read. The characters are relatable and distinct; the plot is tropey yet unique; and the authors will leave you with a big ol’ happy grin on your face. What more can you honestly ask for?
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.
James finds himself with a divorce, and the loss of his precious restaurant so he runs to the only place, the only person, he ever really called home. Ben has loved James forever, but having him crashing on his couch is playing havoc with his well built walls. But is what Ben feels as one sided as he thinks??
For the most part, I enjoyed this. I just found James a little much to deal with at times!
And I am left with questions that didn’t get answered. I’m NOT going to voice them here, because if you read reviews before buying you might be left with the same questions and it might spoil it for you. It did NOT spoil my reading experience, not at all, I’m just left wondering about a few things.
I did like that James came to the realization of his feelings for Ben before Ben made a move. I did like that, once they decided to do this, James and Ben go ALL in, especially on James’ part, since he’s been in the closet all this time.
It was a lovely read, a perfect way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon. A little longer than the usual hang over cure, but I used it as such.
A not overly complicated, well written tale, with just a few things missing.
4 solid stars
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
When the one you’re still hopelessly in love with is the one that got away and they turns to you when their life is falling apart, what should you do? The logical answer is to set appropriate emotional boundaries and be there for them but to keep your distance. But I know of no one who would be logical in this instance. There’s always that part of you that hopes that this time you’ll be appreciated, this time they’ll truly see, this time… And yet all the hoping in the world is just bound to get you more heartache and confusion.
Ben and Jimmy are in this terribly dysfunctional relationship that masquerades as friendship. Jimmy gave up more than just a best friend when he chose to live his life in Manhattan the way he had and almost to the very end of the story I found him utterly selfish. There’s no nice way to call him a user and I’m sure so many people will read this story and see him as a scared man, an emotionally fragile man who just had his dreams of a future crushed and so he turns to the one person he could count on. What they’re not seeing is that Jimmy has only ever been protective of was himself.
Yes, he had the horrible misfortune of having homophobic parents. My issue, though, isn’t with his sexuality, coming out, or even his choice to marry a woman. My issue is that Jimmy uses Ben under the guise of teenage hormones and familiarity, uses Jenna for her connections and wealth, and uses Ben again when his life goes to shit. His patterns of behavior are disappointing and reprehensible. I also wished that he did more to convince Ben of his feelings, did a lot of groveling, and voiced his sudden realization. Ben may not have needed that, but I certainly did.
There is good to him. I do like that when he finally wises up and opens his eyes to everything he gave up when he dumped Ben he sees just how amazing Ben is and focuses on encouraging him, supporting him, and becomes unwilling to deny what they’re building. His words to Ben at the end with his surprise were heartfelt and honest. I enjoy that he finally understands how essential Ben is to a happy, fulfilling life. He was lucky that the woman he married was Jenna because, while we have our doubts about her in the beginning, her strength and compassion later on showed us that he does actually have good taste in friends.
Ben was probably awesome. And I did like him quite a bit more than Jimmy. But most of the story shows him being a self-deprecating man in love with his former best friend and just can’t get over it. I’m not shaming a decade-long unrequited love situation. I’m just expressing disappointment in Ben’s choice to be a pushover. His choice to help his family instead of continue with school got him stuck in a rut that he couldn’t see a way out of. He slowly sucked the life out of his own soul and the only good part of him is tied to the one man he should move on from. It’s an unfortunate situation that ultimately ends well but is still sad to read before he gets his happiness.
So it’s clear that I have some frustrations and disappointments with the characters. Truth. I also didn’t really enjoy that the setting felt more like a place-holder and not really used to their advantage. The story was slow to move to anything really great between them and yet the entire thing felt rushed. Lots of surface stops and a whole heaping amount of angsty inner dialogue. The steam, however, once they got it on, was quite nice. I adored the proposal situation and thought it fit the men and the story. And even though my review seems terribly negative, which it kind of is, I didn’t hate the book. I think this suffered from a slightly inattentive group of or individual proofreader that got caught up in what they hoped for the book rather than what was on the page.