Secretly dating Coach Parker’s daughter was never part of the plan. Neither was becoming her dealer…
ADAMReturning to my drug-dealing past wasn’t on the agenda when I accepted the full ride to play ball at Cypress U. But Mom lost her job. And my sister’s medical bills are mounting. So, I’ve no choice but to change the playbook.When Emily walks into my life, like a fallen goddess with the … Emily walks into my life, like a fallen goddess with the ultimate power to destroy me, I know I’m screwed. I should steer clear, but I’m the one supplying her poison of choice. Falling for her is a complication I don’t need, but the more she’s around, the harder it gets to walk away. She needs me, and I crave her more than the sport I love.
Now, it’s all on the line. Including the NFL career that’s tantalizingly close.
The stakes are high, but family means everything, so I’ll take my chances.
EMILY
It’s only a problem if it’s out of control. And I have it in hand.
Except a certain a-hole discovers I’m using again, and he threatens to rat me out to my folks. Mom’s president of Cypress U, and Dad’s the illustrious football coach. Appearances mean everything to them, and I’m a continuous disappointment. They told me I’d be out on my ass if I fell off the wagon, so keeping it a secret is my number one priority.
Until the super-hot all-star QB takes more than a passing interest in me. Adam gets me, in a way no guy ever has, filling my head with ideas of forever—and now, I want more.
Dating my dealer is a recipe for disaster, especially when it’s forbidden, but I can’t help myself.
Because I’ve fallen too deep.
And the hole is too large to crawl out of.
Due to mature content and possible triggers, this book is recommended to readers aged eighteen and older. Please refer to the note at the start of the book. This is a full-length novel (93k words).
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Holding on to Forever by Siobhan Davis
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Book: Holding on to Forever
Author: Siobhan Davis & S.B. Alexander
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person – Dual
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 4 Stars!
Age: Emily Parker – 19, Adam Miller – 20/21.
Triggers: Drug abuse, Sexual Assault, Violence, Rape and motherfucking emotions that hit you like a brick, directly in your face. .
I’m in love with Adam Miller. I love him with every part of me. Enough to want to be a better version of myself because he deserves the absolute best.
You know that meme? Of a cat with its paw on its heart saying, Damn it hurts right here in my meow meow. That’s how I feel right now. It hurts in my meow meow. I almost shed literal tears. I bawled like a motherfucking newborn baby.
This book was the in-your-face reminder of why I freaking love Siobhan Davis. She always manages to surprise me with her stories. She has an amazing way of writing. She really knows how to tell a story and keep your attention during the whole book. If you haven’t checked her books out, do it now. I’ve yet to read S.B. Alexander’s books but after this I’m definitely willing to give her a try. Holding on to Forever was an epic story about love and healing. I wanted to read about broken characters falling in love. And I got so much more than I wanted. I loved everything about Emily and Adam. Broken into pieces, their love made them whole. It was godsdammed emotionally beautiful.
Molly is the one who loves me. Molly is the one who shows me how good life can be.
With that said, Emily is not your typical heroine. I’m gonna be honest, she didn’t appeal to me at the start. She drank like a sailor, she was addicted to Molly, she participated in orgies and threesomes and she made stupid mistakes. But slowly, she grew on me. And by the end, I realized she was one of the strongest, bravest characters that I’ve ever read. Her scars were ugly, but her strength was mind-blowing.
She’s everything I’m looking for in a woman—beautiful inside and out despite her addiction to drugs.
I really enjoyed the connection between Emily and Adam. There’s beauty, suspense, passion, and unbelievably intense sexual tension between the main characters. I don’t want to give much of the story away, it better to go in blind and experience it yourself. I liked Emily, how even after experiencing such a horrible ordeal, she was quite strong. She went after what she wanted and didn’t shy away from her scars. I really liked that about her. The chemistry between her and Adam was wonderful. Their journey towards a relationship was well developed. It took its time because of their circumstances and their willingness to accept one another.
No woman could ever excite me as much as Emily. She’s my addiction. A craving I experience every minute of every day, and I can’t get enough.
Emily and Adam’s journey is not an easy one. It’s not hearts and flowers, it’s not pretty. But it’s theirs and it’s FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s 50 shades of ugly and heartbroken. Nothing ever worth fighting for is easy. This is that book which you can’t stop reading once you’ve started it. I loved every word and every minute of this book.
And I really, really loved the side characters. Sam – gosh, I wanted more of Sam. And Phoebe, that little girl is pure sunshine. I wish she had her own book. Is it kinda wrong that I was shipping Phoebe and Sam together? Obviously not now, but when she’s older.. don’t come at me with your pitchforks, they were adorable together.
“My knight in shining armor.” I give her a weak grin. “I wish I could agree. But you need to be your own knight. You need to save yourself. I’m just here to catch you if you fall.” “Promise?” she whispers. My hand hooks around her neck, and I kiss that pouty bottom lip. “As sure as it’s raining outside.”
HOLDING ON TO FOREVER is a heartstirring romantic tearjerker that resonated deeply. It’s a heart-warming story about true love that comes from within and never giving up hope.
And if you do, keep the Kleenex handy because you will need it.
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*I received a free copy of this book which I voluntarily chose to write an honest review for.
Whoa buddy what a romance! Adam is the star QB with a home life of debt thanks to a sickly sister and a runaway dad. With no other option to help he finds himself agreeing to something sketchy. Emily has plenty of her own issues when the two of them meet through circumstance. Neither wants a relationship but I do believe fate has other plans. Can they save each other in time? An emotionally edgy romance that will give you all the feels while handling some tough issues. A fantastic story you won’t be able to put down in true Siobhan fashion. An explosive writing duo!! I totally loved it so I give it 5/5 stars.
Couldn’t put it down just like all of Siobhan Davis’s books. I finally finished around 3am. But it was worth it.
Her books always have so much emotion and give you all the feels.
I couldn’t believe how vile the MC’s mother was. After she found out what happened at the end and to run off with him. I just wanted to cry for the MC.
Can’t wait till Siobhan’s next book!
I voluntarily reviewed an advance complimentary copy of this book.
I received an ARC of this book, and I hate that I don’t love it…
The book itself was good. It was full of angst and truly made you feel for the characters. Adam has a sister with cystic fibrosis, and since they lost their insurance, her treatment isn’t being paid for. So he begins to sell drugs to get more money faster. He meets Emily as she buys them from him. The two start a relationship and keep it secret because she’s the daughter of his coach, and Adam doesn’t want him to find out his side gig and she doesn’t want her father to find out about her extracurricular activities.
I strongly disapprove of selling, buying, and using drugs. I’ve personally seen the experience ruin lives, and that makes me sad. Also, I’m not sure why the sister can’t get public medical assistance due to her diagnosis. Anyway, if the drugs factor doesn’t bother you, I recommend the novel. Otherwise, read the other books by the author. Those are pretty good.
Holy Moly Y’all! I’m In Love with a Molly Peddling Drug Dealer! One would think, the drug dealer dude would be the horrible, bad guy of the book, right? Not in this case. Well… Not really.
Adam, our H, is not only the extremely gorgeous and talented QB of the Cypress University football team, but the most devoted son and brother ever. The bond he has with not only his mother, but his sick little sister Phoebe, is as sweet as grandma’s molasses!
Adam is smokin’ hot, has a fabulous chance at a future in the NFL, and he is an absolutely all around good guy. Like, legit you won’t find a better one. GAH! I just totally swooned!
When faced with lack of funds, but trying to do something sweet and noble, Adam finds himself back to doing something he said he would never do again, dealing drugs for cash. I found myself so sympathetic for this amazingly precious guy. I was okay with what he was doing. Hell, I might’ve done it myself. Not really, but! He was desperate, and you know what they say about desperate times and all that.
He semi-struggled with his decision from the get go. It’s not like he loved that job. He needed cash and it paid well, but it meant lying to people he cared about. He has a great mom, adorable sister with health issues and his roommate was like a brother and part of his little family. His coach like a father to him in some ways and he was working really hard to ensure Adam had his chance at a bright future. But none of that paid the bills right? All should be easy peasy huh? Then Adam is knocked off his game when he runs into his dream girl on a drug run. They fall hard and fast.
Will he be able to convince her to pick him over the drugs?
Adam knows he should stay away from this beautiful broken girl. She is forbidden fruit in so many ways, but we all know forbidden fruit tastes SO much sweeter!! Plus he CAN’T get her off his mind.
Does she want him for him,or for what he can supply her with? When old secrets come out, can Adam handle seeing the dark past this beautiful girl is hiding?
Emily is a complex character. One I loved though. Daughter of the President of the University and the Head Football Coach. She’s gorgeous, but so deeply damaged and god how my heart hurt for her. She’s hiding a world of devastation behind a drug induced cloud and secrets she’s buried inside for years. People right in front of her have no idea what this poor girl has been through and continues to be tortured with. Excuses were being made by the very ones that should’ve been protecting her.
I was so glad when she met Adam because for once she seemed to have something good in her life. Good GraciousI just wanted Adam to kiss it and make it all better. He looked at her like no one else had ever looked at her before. Oh.My.Heart!
What will happen if her dad finds out out his star QB is dating his daughter who is strictly off limits to his players? How will Emily respond to the perfectly planned out future her mom has in store for her if it doesn’t include Adam? Devastating secrets are revealed and how Emily responds can determine the future for her and Adam. Can her and Adam remain Holding on to Forever? Or Will they lose everything? This is a MUST READ to find out all of this and SO much more!! Perfect blend of just the right amount of sweet, heat, happy, sad, frustrating, brokenness and strong characters in this angsty , new adult/ college romance.
*I voluntarily reviewed an advanced complimentary copy of this book!
My cr8zysockbookblock blog wrap up for this book!
– Siobhan Davis and S.B. Alexander scored a touchdown with this one! This book tackled some pretty heavy stuff, but the way it was handled and their approach to the book as a whole leaves you with a good feeling! The love story was actually really sweet and super hot and so the nasty stuff the characters went through didn’t leave you feeling down and depressed in the end. I loved the supporting characters. I am a total SAM fan!! Sweet Phoebe forever!
– Adam and Emily were beyond hot! Y’all! SO.Freakin’Yummy! There were not a ton of bedroom scenes , but the ones we got were HOTT!! I think what makes it even hotter was that he treated her so different from how anyone else ever had. Like she was a rare and precious jewel and he was honored to have it!
Cliffhanger Warning-NO CLIFFY! I Love Endings Like This #Perfection
The collaboration of two amazing authors, means a masterpiece of massive proportions! Holding on to Forever, is full of angst, drama and romance, plus the darker aspects of our lives. I was instantly sucked in, to another all nighter, that kept me flying through the pages.
Emily and Adam’s story, took me on a rollercoaster of emotions. I absolutley loved this book, even if my heart felt like it was breaking at times. The book dealt with many trigger inducing issues, that really hit home with me. To read about these amazingly, strong characters trying to overcome these obstacles, just caused a flood of raw emotions to flow through me. I watch others in my life, battle these same issues everyday.
I was super excited to hear that Siobhan Davis and S.B. Alexander, were collaborating on writing a novel together, I knew they would not let me down. I was completely blown away, with what these two brilliant minds pieced together. It was absolutley beautiful, and I can’t wait to see what they come up with next! I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
4.5 stars
Adam is the star quarterback at the local college but when his sister is rushed to the hospital because of her illness, he has to revert to his old ways to help pay her medical bills. He thought football would lead him to the NFL and that he would be set and so would his Mom and sister but things are not moving fast enough. So he finds himself dealing drugs around the college. He will be okay as long as the coach doesn’t find out.
Emily uses drugs and alcohol to fight her demons and boy does she have a lot to fight. It is the only way she can stop them from taking over her mind. She sees Adam at the hospital after she has a seizure from taking the wrong drugs and she remembers him when he sells drugs to her friend.
Adam and Emily are drawn together but it is more than the drugs that have them together. With Adam’s help, Emily seems to be doing fine without the drugs and alcohol until her fist demon returns.
Can Adam save her and protect her from herself and her demons? Will Emily tell Adam and her Dad about what happened when she was 15? Will Emily finally accept that she really needs help?
I loved Adam and Emily but the pain and heartache she was going through broke my heart. I hope you give this story a chance and that you love it as much as I did.
**I voluntarily reviewed an advance complimentary copy of this book.**
Prepare to cry, swoon and fall in love with Adam & Emily. This is such a heartfelt and romantic story, that you’re not going to want to miss.
Written by two of my favorite authors, they wrote as one. It was seamless. It was such an honest, raw depiction of addiction. I cried so much through this book for Emily and what she was going through. Adam loved so hard. It was one of the things that drove him to sell drugs. A stupid and dangerous idea, but it is how he first met Emily. He was drawn to her from that very first moment. Then he found out that she is the Coach’s daughter. He doesn’t want to get kicked off the team, but he can’t help his feelings towards this girl. Emily feels the same way. And what unfolds is a really beautiful romance. Add in lots of ups and downs, twists and turns, some shocking revelations, and you have the perfect book!!
This book May have some triggers for anyone dealing with addiction or addiction with a family member.
Adam is an amazing man that will do anything for those he loves. Even if it’s on the wrong side of the law. He loves deeply and aggressively.
Emily is the conductor on the Hot Mess Express and jumps from one train wreck to another. You can’t help but feel for her and want to help.
Feeling abandoned by her parents and painted in this picture perfect world, Emily tries to find any means to escape her own mind.
When these two collide into love and overcome some of the most difficult obstacles, you can’t help but feel their bond.
An emotional and struggling read for me, but worth it in the end!
A fantastic co-written story by two authors who work well together and blend their words beautifully. I wasn’t able to tell which author had written which part and their level of detail shows in this gripping and sometimes dark story about life and the choices we make. Holding on to Forever definitely isn’t an easy read in parts, but the authors allow us to get to know the characters really well and pull you into what’s happening. I’m already a huge fan of Siobhan Davis and will certainly be checking out books written by S.B. Alexander. Hopefully, these two authors will co-write again!
3.5 stars
I love when authors delve into issues that bring us a little more insight and hopefully awareness.
This book definitely pulls no punches on the drug dealing, drug addiction, sexual abuse and sexual assault subjects, nicely written but not delving into each too deeply.
This story revolves around Emily the daughter of the college Football Coach and the College President. Neither parent pays her any attention, the worst being the Mother (From Hell) Emily is struggling with life and is slipping deeper and deeper into drug dependency .
Adam is the college Quarter Back, also slipping into dealing to help provide help with his sisters medical bills.
The two meet and find a connection, and from there we enter their world, of half truths, secrets and lies.
I didn’t love this book but i did like it. At times it was a little predictable. The horrible parents leading to everything bad in life. There were good little twists and turns but I didn’t totally feel the connection between Emily and Adam, i think i liked them more as individuals. The story flowed well but didn’t grip me, and for me, the Hero of the book was Sam !!! He’s the silent Ninja, who saved all their asses !!!
This book pleasantly surprised me, as it wasn’t one of normal suspense filled reads. Although I didn’t really connect with the characters for a lot of the book, something kept me invested.
While reading you couldn’t even tell it was a co write it was that cohesive, for that alone this book deserves all the stars, as most I’ve read often have a lot lost in translation.
Even though I’m a long time fan of Siobhan Davis, I’d been avoiding reading this book. As a child of an addict myself, I find it a difficult topic for writers to effectively convey- either the story is too gritty, too real, too hopeless, or it isn’t enough of those things. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to root for an addict as a heroine- particularly one that falls into the privileged/rich kid stereotype. But this emotional, unflinching story of tragedy and addiction worked for me- and the more I think about it, the more connected to it I feel.
Our leading man, Adam, is a college athlete, on the pathway to the NFL. He’s got it all together, but his younger sister is sick and his mother is struggling to make ends meet- so he turns back to what he never thought he’d return to- drug dealing. His path first crosses our heroine Emily in a hospital- as she’s recovering from her latest bender, and later they find their lives intertwined as Adam ends up becoming Emily’s drug dealer. Their chemistry is instance- Adam recognizes a lost soul in Emily, and he wants to shield her from herself. Emily is in a lot of trouble in a number of ways- but she finds the first real, meaningful and reciprocated connection she’s ever had in Adam.
I love how the authors challenge character archetypes here, it makes for some really interesting character development and for an intense emotional connection to each of them. Adam plays football, but he’s not the “jock,” and he may very well be one of the most charming, authentic, and likable heroes I’ve read to date. He’s committed to those he loves, he’s kind and thoughtful, and he’s more conservative sexually and more emotionally open than Emily. He’s the responsible one- the caregiver and altruistic nurturer. SD/SA give him a refreshing self-awareness- he’s both unapologetic about having to do what he does to help his sister while also keenly feeling the weight of enabling the destruction of others- a guilt that is magnified when he becomes the gateway to Emily’s drug abuse. Oh, Emily- she’s such a heartbreaking, a train wreck you can’t turn away from. Her addiction plays a huge role in her identity, so much so that she’s not even sure she knows who she is when she’s not under the influence. She can’t function without a fix, and she’s spirarling, self-destructing pill by pill. She’s just so incredibly lost- and devastatingly alone- surrounded by friends who enable her and encourage her to engage in activities she regrets and a distant family. To be honest, it was hard to love Emily- not only because of my personal history but because her addiction masks who she really is for much of the book. She’s not the kind of heroine you want to be, or even be friends with, but that’s the point- we aren’t meant to romanticize her, we’re meant to understand her- to walk in shoes, and in that, this book truly shines.
At first I had a hard time getting into the story- both because I was apprehensive and because I was waiting for the love story to pick up, and then I realized this really isn’t about the love story. Don’t worry- there is one, and it is charming, healing, deeply emotional, and as steamy as you’d expect from SD. But more so, I found this story to be about one of the greatest challenges in the human experience- COPING. This is a story about two people who have been victimized- literally and metaphorically. Two people trying to cope with the adversity of their lives. Two people who on the surface have the entire world at their fingertips, but who struggle, everyday, to live the life they want. Two people who are trying to slay their own personal demons- and who just so happen to find real and authentic connection, a connection that bolsters them for the battles they were already waging individually.
Their story is not easy- we have lots triggering topics (with some shocking situations- this is SD!), and some truly heartbreaking moments- one of which was so devastating that I feel it might leave a permanent scar on my heart. Is this a perfect depiction of the heartbreaking complexities of the impact of addiction and overcoming it? No, no at all- this is still fiction, and it is still a romance. But, the spirit of what is here is what matters. Emily and Adam’s story is haunting, at times uncomfortable, but it is beautifully hopeful at its core. A testament to the power of healing and connection, that we can find new and healthier ways to cope even when we are in the darkest points of despair. You can hit rock bottom and still learn to thrive, you can hit rock bottom and still be worthy of love and forgiveness, you can hit rock bottom and still be strong.
I LOVED Adam! He read like the sweet boy next door. He was always looking for ways to help his mom and sister. He was willing to take risk for them. I loved his core group of friends too! I never saw the twist coming. I knew there was a reason behind Emily’s drug use, but I never thought he would be as close as he was.
I hated her mother. I can’t imagine living like that. I loved her father, and even though I felt he could have done more, he was still trying. I didn’t see his secret coming though. I want more of these characters!
For those hesitant about reading a book with dual authors, don’t. Holding on to Forever is seamless
Adams and Emily’s story is heartbreaking and beautiful, and so very real.
It’s angsty, gritty and raw.
Adam and Emily’s story is tragic, and beautiful.
At times it’s not an easy story to read, it’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions, that absolutely blew me away.
A MUST READ.
I was lucky enough to get an ARC for this and I’m so glad I did!!
In the face of struggles with family, money, addiction and trauma, love is born. Adam and Emily cross paths and start up something that should be off limits. The struggles they go through are realistic and so well written. Their love is believable. This story was so good, you won’t want to stop reading! I even stayed up until 4 am to finish it! Plus who doesn’t love a hot, quarterback with pretty green eyes! Read this book! It’s worth it!
Picking up a book by Siobhan Davis is always an immediate reaction for me because her books always hook me no matter what. I know for a fact that I will have to clear my day to sit down and enjoy the wonderful joy ride that Ms. Davis will take me on and this was no different. Her writing in Holding on to Forever along with Ms. Alexander was a complete phenomena.
One heck of a ride that’s for sure with the emotional trek between Adam and Emily.
I don’t think there is nothing I could really say other than I have no words for how much this book was one of the best emotional and gravitating books I’ve read.
It gripped me so hard that I struggled to read anything for a few days after I was done with this book. I couldn’t even finish processing what I wanted to write in my review because it was that good!
Holding on to Forever was an emotional 5 star read and I loved it.
This is Adam and Emily’s story.
Adam is going to Cypress U and is the star quarterback. When his mom needs money to cover medical costs for his sister he turns to the quickest way to make it. Something he has done in the past to help his mother. Adam meets Emily out in a club, she is hooked on Molly and he ends up being her supplier through a friend of hers.
Emily is broken and right now Molly seems to be the only thing that helps with the pain and fears she is having. When she meets Adam there is something about him that draws her in. As these two start to get to know each other better they end up in a relationship. Adam makes Emily promise to stay away from the drugs, he wants to help her get better. Emily is also dealing with another male student who is blackmailing her and demanding sexual favors from her.
When things take a shocking twist Emily falls hard and Adam has no idea what happened. Secrets come out along with some twists and turns that will tear your heart out. I felt so bad for Emily. All of the secondary characters added a great element to the story. I absolutely hated her mother, she was horrible to Emily and her father. There is so much going on in this great read your head will be spinning, my emotions were all over the place. I highly suggest you 1-click and get started on this great read today.
I voluntarily reviewed an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.
Im not crying.
You’re crying!
Okay, we’re all crying.
Im not gonna lie. This was a tough book to read. Not because it was a bad book. Im 99% sure that Siobhan incapable of writing a bad book. But because of the subject matter. Yes there are trigger warnings. And here is another one for Addiction ,Sexual Assualt and Rape.
I am so glad I finished it. The ending made the personal pain worth it in the end.
I highly recommend this book.
Happy reading!
I am not crying you are crying. Adam and Emily have gone through so much. Emily’s character is so relatable. I personally never turned to drugs myself, but the way her parents were too her gave me total flashbacks of my own childhood. Where as Adam’s story broke my heart because it shows how far you are willing to go and what you are willing to do for your family, not just for the girl you love. His love for his mom and sister is admirable. He is the big brother you want in your corner and the boyfriend you dream about. I love how Adam and Emily save each other one they are able to get past their demons and start working together they were able to accomplish so much and it is one of those stories where even though it ended you know that these two were meant for each other, forever.