They broke her. Ruined. Completely destroyed. Destiny was supposed to be perfect. As a teen, she’d given up boys for a love of pixilated wonders and fantastical ideas. She wasn’t just a gamer, she was going to be a game maker. All she wanted was to give the world a little piece of her dream. Then they found her.Now, she can’t do it. Can’t do anything, really. Being close to another person is … anything, really. Being close to another person is torture. The thought of being touched steals the breath from her lungs. Working on games? If they ever found out, they’d kill her – or so they said. She’s not ok. Her memories live too close, flashbacks come too easily, and surviving each day is getting harder and harder.
Nothing can take back what happened to her.
He doesn’t care.
Chance thought he’d hit the jackpot. Finding the famous Destiny Pierce working at a hardware store? She was desperate enough to take his job offer, but the woman who’d inspired him to create this fledgling game company is not the same one standing before him now. This one is shattered.
It shouldn’t matter. He’s not the man to fix her. Hell, he’s got enough of his own problems. All he needs is for her to get his game up and running, and she’s willing to help. But those sad eyes make him want to put a smile on her kissable lips, because that’s as close as he can get.
She can’t touch people.
He can’t stop.
For people like them, perfection is out of reach. The goal is just to keep going. For now, it’s making a game, but Chance isn’t ready to let her quit. If he can teach her how to live again, maybe she can get past those memories and find something worth caring about.
Hopefully, that something will be him.
He may not be perfect, but he’s flawed in just the right way.
TRIGGER WARNING: Contains off-screen rape and assault, domestic violence, addiction, suicidal tendencies, phobias, bullying, cyber harassment, violence, and more. The Gamer Girls series is based on what could have happened during GamerGate. Each novel features strong women, the men who love them, and the games that let them escape reality. Contains graphic language and situations that are suitable for a mature audience. This book is a standalone novel which moves forward a larger story.
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This book was so much more than I hoped for, even knowing how much I love everything these authors’ write. This is a raw story of two trauma survivors growing together day by day and slowly finding their place making a safe space for others. I adored how finding each other wasn’t an insta fix, but a patient struggle to fight the darkness a little at a time. I was immediately sucked in and wanted nothing more than to spend all my time with this cast of characters, I’m almost sad the other books in this series aren’t just about the Deviant Games crew because I need so much more of them. Queer found family with a varied group of flawed people embracing the things the world would hold against them.
This was a really great book. It was different from what I was expecting. Dez and Chance were perfect together. They were perfectly flawed and their vulnerabilities were laid bare for every reader to experience.
I have no experience in the gaming world and still thoroughly enjoyed this book. The story was so engaging. It was well-written. The characters were well-developed. The way in which tough and sensitive subjects were handled was brilliant. My heart broke for all of them at different points because you just can’t help but empathize with characters when they are tested and broken.
And yet, there’s an underlying feeling of hope and a bid to seek justice for what Dez and the others have gone through. That’s where the rest of this series will aim to satisfy this larger mystery that’s been unlocked. I, for one, am ready to play!
If you are a gamer – you NEED to read this series. This is one of the best series hands down I’ve ever read set in the contemporary world.
If you game, if you have friends that game, you need to read all of these books. Life is hard and sometimes others make it harder. We dive into games for escape and all too often that escape becomes hell. Even if you don’t like romance or sex, this series and what it exposes is too important to skip. Give it to your teenagers that game, and talk to them.
I’m old. I’ve been on the net long enough that when I spoke I got the “What? You’re a girl? But girls don’t play.” reactions. We do play. I’ve been playing RPGs for a very long time. I started on chat RPs in the 80s. We game. Read this series.
Warning: this review is a little on the long side, sorry! I have read and re-read this book through Kindle Unlimited. I forgot to review it the first time around. That’s not an unconscious comment on the impression the book leaves behind; I just didn’t get how important it was to review the first time I read it. I re-read it because I couldn’t get the series out of my head, and book three has just released recently. I was first introduced to this book via Auryn Hadley’s The Demons’ Muse series (which was just book 1 at the time). I so fell in love with her books that I then went on a 2 week binge reading nearly everything she’d written (I didn’t get all the way through ROTI; I was in love with it but it was intense and I needed a bit of a break or the book hangover would have been tragic). Part of that binge was this book and book 2, Challenge Accepted. Kitty Cox hadn’t written anything solo the first time I read this (that I’m aware of), but reading her debut novel, When it Rains, was what prompted my re-read of this series and reading the newly released book 3.
I will preface this review by saying I’m not a gamer. Not a serious one. I used to play adventure cartridge games way back when, and I’ve dabbled in MMO’s in recent years, but nothing serious, as I just don’t have the time to devote to getting good. That said, I personally didn’t feel that, by not being a gamer, I didn’t get it. There’s a lot of issues in this book that I was aware of in the gaming world, and there are issues that are presented in the light of the gaming world but are pervasive across society, namely those issues facing women and how some men hold believe that “traditional” values means that women are their property, effectively.
In a lot of ways, this book is heart wrenching. Everything that Dez has been through is something no one should ever go through and something that no one has a right to do to anyone, but least of all because they dare to be female in a “man’s world.” And, if you have triggers surrounding abduction, rape, PTSD, or addiction, then you should be cautious. Now, Dez doesn’t really talk about what happened to her, not graphically, because that’s still how traumatised she is in this book. There is some detail, but nothing that I would consider gratuitous or graphic, but what happened to her is described, and just be cautious and be aware if you do have triggers. That said, this book is phenomenally written, and there is an incredible amount of empathy for those who have been bullied or attacked, purely for being different. It also helps that there’s quite a few broken people in this story, and, even though this is Dez and Chance’s story, it’s also their story. There’s also quite a lot of hope in this story, I think, quite a large part of it in the form of Chance. If I had any complaints at all, they are probably about him. The way in which he is willing to be so careful with Dez is sometimes pushing the boundary of being believable, but I also think there are a lot of extenuating circumstances that also make me rethink that and think, actually, maybe. The relationship Chance has with Dez is slow burn, but that doesn’t mean it lacks sexual chemistry, nor does it mean the book is lacking in sexual tension or heat. It’s brilliantly written to leave you satisfied but perhaps in a different way than expected.
There’s a lot in this book that is social commentary, and it’s obvious that it’s social commentary without it overtly taking over the story. It’s a story that makes you sit back and think, while also being entertaining and captivating. I couldn’t put it down, and I would read this book again and again.
As a gamer girl myself, I found this story relatable, but there was much more to it than gaming culture. The abuse Dez suffered at the hands of The Oppression broke her. Human touch became intolerable, so she escaped reality through substance abuse. Games were no longer a safe option. But Chance walked into her world and offered her the dream job. And anonymity.
I’m not going to lie, the issues these authors tackle are confronting and heavier than a lead balloon filled with Slayer riffs. Rape, sexism, cyber bullying, drug abuse, and mental illness all play pivotal roles in the story. Yet the strong female protagonist shows courage in the face of oppression, overcoming her fears and sticking it to the man. The romance that blossoms is beautiful too, bringing light to the darkness.
It is hard to say if non-gamers would find as much appeal in this novel, but my feel is that Hadley and Cox have touched on enough universal themes and issues to make this a good read for all. Just heed the trigger warnings!
Dez has been broken and is just ghosting through life, trying to disappear. Three years prior, she had a gamer blog and was abducted for 2 weeks. She is just existing when she is found by Chance who needs her to set up a network for him. Each person is flawed and I liked how we get to learn about each persons flaw and also how they have strengthened themselves. Dez’s healing is slow and there are setbacks, but she is a fighter. I’m not a gamer and I had avoided this series initially because of that. I am so glad I gave it a try. There is gaming and coding talk and some I didn’t completely understand, but i was still able to get the gist and enjoyed the story. I have re-read this story several times and it still punches me in the feel at re-read 5 as it did during my first read
First off – you don’t need to be a “gamer” to love this book. I am not a “gamer” in that I know nothing about coding/developing games, never played games like WoW etc. But I loved this book.
You may not be able to relate to the gaming aspect, but there so many other themes and messages that are so very relatable.
Destiny was a young, confident and ambitious girl doing amazing things in the male-dominated gaming world when she was kidnapped and tortured by guys who believe the gaming world is not a place for females. Several years later the drugs are the only thing helping her survive and briefly block her horrific nightmares.
I loved Dez. I felt so much for her and what she went through, but she was so much stronger than what she thought and just needed someone to accept her for who she had become, flaws and all.
Enter Chance. He is not your typical hero, but not is he one of the greats! So supportive and understanding of what Dez needs, so damn patient going at her pace and not expecting anything more, but also flawed with his own hang ups.
I loved their friendship as it was so real and honest and *them*, and watching them overcome obstacles and the progression of their relationship was beautiful.
I loved their Flawed team and how supportive, loyal and united they are.
Can’t wait for the next book and hopefully a lot more of these characters!!