NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “A meditation on sense-making when there’s no sense to be made, on letting go when we can’t hold on, and on being unafraid even when we’re terrified.”—Lucy Kalanithi“Belongs on the shelf alongside other terrific books about this difficult subject, like Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air and Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal.”—Bill GatesNAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF … Mortal.”—Bill Gates
NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY REAL SIMPLE
Kate Bowler is a professor at Duke Divinity School with a modest Christian upbringing, but she specializes in the study of the prosperity gospel, a creed that sees fortune as a blessing from God and misfortune as a mark of God’s disapproval. At thirty-five, everything in her life seems to point toward “blessing.” She is thriving in her job, married to her high school sweetheart, and loves life with her newborn son.
Then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.
The prospect of her own mortality forces Kate to realize that she has been tacitly subscribing to the prosperity gospel, living with the conviction that she can control the shape of her life with “a surge of determination.” Even as this type of Christianity celebrates the American can-do spirit, it implies that if you “can’t do” and succumb to illness or misfortune, you are a failure. Kate is very sick, and no amount of positive thinking will shrink her tumors. What does it mean to die, she wonders, in a society that insists everything happens for a reason? Kate is stripped of this certainty only to discover that without it, life is hard but beautiful in a way it never has been before.
Frank and funny, dark and wise, Kate Bowler pulls the reader deeply into her life in an account she populates affectionately with a colorful, often hilarious retinue of friends, mega-church preachers, relatives, and doctors. Everything Happens for a Reason tells her story, offering up her irreverent, hard-won observations on dying and the ways it has taught her to live.
Praise for Everything Happens for a Reason
“I fell hard and fast for Kate Bowler. Her writing is naked, elegant, and gripping—she’s like a Christian Joan Didion. I left Kate’s story feeling more present, more grateful, and a hell of a lot less alone. And what else is art for?”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior and president of Together Rising
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Whew. A young wife and mother, Bowler dissected the prosperity gospel in her first book, but after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer she quickly discovered that a form of that belief — that all good things come to those who believe (and, by extension, that anyone who is stricken must have failed in some way) — also exists in herself and American culture in general, sometimes in the form of the platitude in the title. (Her passage on doors and windows opening and closing is hysterical.) This memoir is by turns harrowing, very funny, moving, spiritual, and hopeful despite the genuine pain of having a terminal diagnosis but not quite dying yet, if only thanks to difficult treatments endured month by month. It should be read by anybody faced with a life-threatening illness in themselves or a loved one, which probably means it should be read by all mortal beings, at least those who believe themselves to be Christian. If nothing else, the do’s and don’t’s at the end are invaluable
Kate’s story weaves through her research of the prosperity gospel movement and her life-threatening medical problems, scraping away cliches and trite reassurances to find true meaning in family and friends.
This is a memoir about the author’s life after she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. She tells about her life before, her family, her close friends, her beloved husband and their cherished little boy. She talks about her long struggle to even get a diagnosis. She talks about what it was really like and her thoughts and feelings in a candid way with some humor added in.
Belongs on the shelf alongside other terrific books about this difficult subject, like Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air and Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal.
If you are a friend of someone who is either going through cancer or rough times– this is the book you need to read. The Author shares her battle with cancer very realistically, and it’s raw and honest. It’s got a list of things we shouldn’t say– as well as some ideas of things you absolutely can say/do.
“My little plans are crumbs scattered on the ground. This is all I have learned about living here, plodding along, and finding God. My well-laid plans are no longer my foundation. I can only hope my dreams, my actions, my hopes are leaving a trail for Zach and Tobin so whichever way the path turns all they will find is love.”
This quote from the final pages of the book might best sum it up. Tragedy and trauma interrupt our lives without invitation or preamble. Those moments can take our breath away and shake our foundation until we don’t know what we know or believe or feel. That is this book–a woman who bravely writes about the chaos, the wandering thoughts, the varying emotions, the tough questions that don’t really have answers. It wanders, yes, but in a way that beautifully shows the reality of life with a terminal diagnosis.
She mentions the prosperity gospel and their beliefs several times, but honestly, many of us fall for the easy cliches because we’re uncomfortable with pain and death, the unknown and the uncertain. It’s much more fun to talk about a trip with your friends next fall than to deal with the possibility this might be a loved one’s last summer, or last holiday, or last Tuesday. Added bonus, she includes in the back of the book things not to say and things to offer to those who are dealing with tragedy and trauma.
Note for those who do not like to read cuss words: the book includes a few, almost entirely in the section where she decides to cuss for Lent.
It’s real life and real struggles with faith
So true what is written here. I’m glad somebody voiced it
So honest as she goes through experience with cancer. Gave me a better perspective on what to say and not say to those going through this
well- written memoir of author’s life up till now.
It caused me to think about my own belief system. I wanted, I think everyone wants to embrace the prosperity gospel but in my heart of hearts I always knew it didn’t ring true. It doesn’t line up with the bible and those of God’s most favored biblical person’s lives. I journeyed through Kate’s process of coming to terms with her diagnosis right along with her. I came to the conclusion with her, and yet it didn’t leave me angry or disillusioned with God. It just confirmed who He is and how I can live with who He is.
Incredible truths, told by someone who is living them. I could not put it down. Highly recommended.
This is a beautifully written, intelligent, soulful book, necessary reading for all of us who long to walk faithfully and honestly through the darkest and most desolate of seasons.