When you have a perfect marriage, only an impossible reconnection could make you risk it all. From USA Today best-selling author Marni Mann comes Even If It Hurts, an emotionally charged contemporary romance. OLIVER When I met her, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.We were so young and so passionate.We studied business in the day and each other’s bodies at night.We always knew it would end with … business in the day and each other’s bodies at night.
We always knew it would end with the semester, so we loved hard with no regrets.
LANCE
When I met her, I couldn’t get her off my mind.
We were fresh out of college and ready to take on the world.
We fit each other like missing puzzle pieces.
And just when I thought my life was perfect, it got better. She became my wife.
CHLOE
I met my first love while studying abroad in London.
When I moved home, I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love again.
Until I met him. The man who became my husband.
The one I promised a lifetime to.
Then, my first love came back into my life …
And I realized that love was bigger than any one man.
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This one just broke me emotionally. What a Rollercoaster. It was a tough listen due to the subject matter, which is not something I like. It really was so good even though it ripped my heart out. I will say that I’m glad I got and listened to the audiobook because I would have missed out on this gripping story and outstanding performances.
Ava Erickson was amazing throughout this and did a beautiful job with the story. I felt every bit of emotion from her. Shane East comes in at the end and just…trust me, you’ll need tissues while reading or listening to this one, but especially if you listen to the audiobook.
This was my first Marni Mann book and I would definitely like to read something else by her. But I have mixed feelings about this book. Maybe it’s because I listened to it versus reading (sometimes I feel differently about a book if I’ve read it) but I love being able to hear a story come to life. I did enjoy the narrators and I liked Chloe. I liked her relationship with Oliver. It was a young love and timing was all wrong, but I enjoyed the time they had together. While it was hard for Chloe to move on, eventually she did. She found Lance. He was nothing like Oliver and that’s ok. But they fell for each other and had a strong relationship. I enjoyed what they had together and the fact that it was different from her first love. But the subject matter was what made me feel the way I did. I don’t want to give anything away, so I’m just going to leave it at that. I didn’t love this book but I appreciated the young love and the later love in Chloe’s life.
You want to scream at this book sometimes (in a good way :)! You can’t help but get emotionally invested with these characters! And then the end…. I’ll leave it at that. Just read it!
How it hurt….
I’m a huge fan of Marni work, since I read my first book in 2018. She is a wonderful and extraordinary author. In all her stories you can feel her soul and heart. I love her as a person and author.
This story can be painful. At the beginning I was so in love for the love story she created for Oliver and Chloe, but when she decided to change everything and put another character in the story it made me a little sad. I was with a open mind for another ending. I never expected that she choose the topic I hate to read. I felt so angry but at the same time made me think “What if it was me? How can I choose between to lovers?” When I asked myself these two questions I couldn’t be angry with her.
This is a really, really good story and beautiful as the person who wrote it.
I love her author note as always is beautiful.
Readers this author is amazing and this book is wonderful.
I can’t wait to read your secret job.
Dear Marni,
Marni knowing you and seeing you with Brian this book had to have been really hard for you to write and relate to the struggle Chloe was going through. You did a absolutely amazing job. With each book and each taboo topic you tackle you grow more and more as a writer. Your depth of writing and how you wrench the emotions from the characters and the reader is astounding and beautiful.
Now when reading this have tissues near by. Heck tell everyone to purchase stock in the tissue company because you will need it. YOu will cry tears of joy, sadness and just go through the emotional wringer. I was wary, at first, when reading the blurb I have to admit. I was like do I want to go there. Do I want to go down this rabbit hole. And the answer after reading the book is a resounding Yes. Did I get wrong out emotionally by your writing and characters? Yes. Did you draw me into the story and never let me go? Yes dang you Marni yes. I needed sleep and you just kept me from getting this because I needed to see where this was going, what was going to happen and how it was going to end. I must say I couldn’t choose between Oliver and Lance.
Oliver was the love you had to let go of so you can become who you were meant to be. He was the great sweet amazing man who didn’t hold you back and let you go. He gave you unconditional love and acceptance when you needed it the most. He helped Chloe spread her wings and fly. That love didn’t die but due to circumstances was let go and wasn’t resolved. You never truly get over your first love. Oliver shows us this and you just have your heart bleed for him. This amazing, driven, sweet kind man who you adore and fall in love with from the beginning with his charm and kindness.
Lance who is supportive, understanding and kind. He is there for Chloe and encouraging to her. He is understanding and is her rock to me. For him Chloe is the key to the lock that is his heart and you melt with him. Just like Oliver he just is so much. His muchness is special and gorgeous. We all wish for a Lance but we also all wish for a OLiver.
I wanted to not like Chloe I did. I wanted to be outraged for Lance and not like Oliver but I couldn’t. First when you introduce Chloe she is a studious student who is trying to make something of herself. Then she is in London and Oliver brings her to another level. She is growing and finding herself. Watching them fall in love was beautiful, fun and wonderful. But you get heartbroken for it comes to an end, not because of anything between them but circumstances. Oliver lets her spread her wings and fly even if it hurts. And it hurts us as well. Now Chloe has moved on and has another love. And you are happy and joyful but circumstances and fate bring her full circle and we see the struggle of the first love and not having that chapter end. We feel the tug on the heart. The fast beating and anticipation of that first moment and how it hurts with the feeling of am I doing what is right. The pain of knowing you are hurting others and yourself but can’t help yourself. We feel the giddiness of the kiss and how right and how at home that kiss is for you. The writing displays this so beautifully and seamlessly that you can’t have righteous anger at Chloe because you are Chloe and are understanding what is going on.
The writing has you so you can’t decide who is best for Chloe for both Oliver and Lance are both amazing in their own way. They both love Chloe to the moon and back and both encourage, respect and support her. they are great book boyfriends and just have you melt with who they are. Marni you have done a great job engaging the reader and making us just feel how Chloe is feeling and how hard a place she is in. We are essentially Chloe as we read this book and this is due to your incredible writing skills. I couldn’t decide and didn’t want to. I wanted to both Lance and Oliver and my heart was wrenched in two when a decision had to be made. Like Chloe’s was. Such a incredible journey the book is and it is full of love and the feeling of helplessness as a decision must be made and no matter what that decision will hurt. Amazing amazing book.
Even If It Hurts
By: Marni Mann
Narrated by: Ava Erickson, Shane East
There are books that you listen to and as soon as it’s over, it’s forgotten. Then there are books like this one. Marni Mann has a way with words. Her stories are real and touch your soul. I think what I love the most is that she puts me out of my comfort zone and makes me think and feel, what would I do? In this case we meet Chloe who has traveled abroad for college for a semester and fallen for Oliver. Oliver is the best boyfriend and when she comes home, of course, they cannot continue their relationship. Years go by, and she meets Lance, falls in love and marries. Happy as can be, she encounters Oliver again. And now decisions have to be made. I am not a person with triggers, but this one does not sit well with me. At the same time, the realistic and raw feelings that Marni Mann accentuates in her stories makes me think and wonder, what would I do? First loves are so strong but so are second chances at love. Is it possible to love two men? What would I do? I lived this story as Chloe went through her life, and I don’t know if her choices would have been mine. But I love that I was able to hear her story, feel her emotions and see her decisions. This book is amazing!
Ava Erickson shines in this narration. A better choice of narrator could not have been made. She has a rawness to her voice that brings out the emotions and gives us every feeling, whether happy or sad. I love her as Chloe. Shane East as Oliver just about killed me. He has a cameo appearance, and it’s so emotionally charged, it literally brought tears to my eyes. Amazing performances, amazing book!
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5 Stars!!
Even If It Hurts has been one of my most anticipated reads of 2020 and it did not disappoint! Once I started it I stayed up all night reading, this story and it’s characters consumed my thoughts in ways I’ve never experienced before. I absolutely loved it!
Chloe’s journey is one with such realness that I felt every bit of. My heart went through it all with these characters and that’s one of the many things that made me love this story. From the moments that were swoonworthy to the ones that choked me up, I’ll never forget this story.
With Even If It Hurts, Ms.Mann has created one heck of an emotional read that stays with you long after you’ve reached the end. I’m still not over the book hangover that I got from this story. This is definitely one of my top reads of the year!
*I volunteered to read and review a copy of this book from Social Butterfly PR / the author*
First loves, the ones that got away are always permanently locked away in your hearts. The what if’s that tickle our minds when ever we think of them. The heart ache we feel when we reminisce. This is one of those reads that will take you down memory lane and your heart will be torn while reading the journey of Chloe and Oliver and their romance. I will say that I was a little upset while reading this book but I liked that it was not a cookie cutter romance where 1+1=2. No this romance is going to suck you in body and soul and break your heart just a little. In the end everything is as it should be. Their journey is amazing as much as it hurt to read their pain and eventually their happiness is what will make you smile.
2.5 stars
“Even if it hurts”… I hate to write this review because I love Marni Mann books. I love the angst she can develop in her stories and I wanted to read this book so much. I’m not a fan of love triangles, but I’ve read some of them and I really wanted to try this one because of the author.
It was very hurtful for me, all the story goes so fast that I didn’t have the time to connect with Oliver OR Lance, and the whole story felt so wrong for me. I hate Chloe. She made bad decisions in order to satisfice her lust and that is all. She didn’t stop thinking how she was hurting the two men she supposedly loves and respects. So she has no respect from me at all.
About Lance, he was the victim here, he’s clueless of what is happening and he loves his wife very much that he encourages her to succeed, supports her on everything and the most important he TRUSTS her. On the other hand Oliver wasn’t a victim whatsoever. He knew Chloe’s situation and he didn’t mind sharing her as long as he could have her.
At the end, I think Chole made the right choice, unfortunately I still think she doesn’t deserve any of them.
This review doesn’t mean I don’t like this author anymore, I just have to stay away from triangles, nothing good comes from them.
Well, my thought have gone blank. This was my first read from Marni and surely it wont be the last. When I first read the blurb, it had stirred something beneath my heart. The memories.
Chloe, the young woman with a bright future. She was a hardworker person who love to chase her dream and career. Everything seems to look perfect, Right?
Oliver Bennett was a dream guy with his charming persistant and sway. Oh dear, I was totally inlove!
I cant deny all the passions from this love story. It was hot and heavy like falling in love should be. The story was beautiful and hurts like hell. I felt the love so vividly that it has suffocated me with the choice. I was mad with Chloe for the way she did but totally, I would made the same choice.
Marni, you had me since Boston.. The love was consuming and you made me feel for all of it. See, girl.. you have the way to grip my heart.
Marni Mann fans are going to be obsessed with this angsty love triangle!
“Even if it hurts. Even if it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, you have to stop.”
This book is the perfect case in point that not everyone reads the same book the same way. And I clearly did NOT read it like the majority seemed to. I may be in the minority here, but I did see that there are other readers with the same exact feelings I am about to express to you.
“Sometimes, you have to leave fro a while to remember why you fell in love in the first place.”
First of all, Marni gave WAY TOO MUCH away in her synopsis. I went into this book nearly blind (all I knew about it was it was a love triangle), because I had heard such high praise about it and was told that THIS BOOK needed to be the one to break my “Marni cherry”. Around 10%, I stumbled upon the synopsis and accidentally (truly it was an accident) saw the word WIFE in the blurb, so that caused me to pause. Like screeching breaks, everything comes to a standstill, type of pause. So one thing lead to another and I found myself reading the full synopsis….Big mistake, HUGE mistake. Now, I knew what to expect.
Exhibit A (Oliver) We studied business in the day and each other’s bodies at night.
We always knew it would end with the semester, so we loved hard with no regrets.
Exhibit B (Lance)We were fresh out of college and ready to take on the world.
We fit each other like missing puzzle pieces.
And just when I thought my life was perfect, it got better. She became my wife.
Exhibit C (Chloe)I met my first love while studying abroad in London (reference Exhibit A)
When I moved home, I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love again.
Until I met him. The man who became my husband.(reference Exhibit B)
Exhibit D (Chloe)Then, my first love came back into my life…And I realized that love was bigger than any one man. (reference Exhibit A)
That was the book in a nut shell. You can assume what would happen from that synopsis and quite frankly, for me, it took away the levels of pain I was anticipating to feel. The thing about love triangles is I KNOW I will feel pain, the heart soaring one moment and crashing the next, kinda pain. I CRAVE those moments! That’s the reason I come back to these types of story lines. I want the pain. I want the journey throughout THAT pain. I know to experience how we get to the other side of that pain, not completely unscathed, but melded back together completely different. I want the divide…the pull in two directions I get when my heart is torn down the middle. The yearning for two different men, for two different reasons. I WANT THAT! Unfortunately, I felt robbed of that because of the knowledge I gained from the synopsis itself and because of that, I did NOT get to feel those things, as I should’ve. YES, there were heart-aching moments (I’m not cold hearted), but I think that there would’ve been MORE IF I hadn’t known what to expect. I was a cheater. An adulteress. But really, what I was deep down inside was a woman completely in love with two men.
Then came my lack of connection with the story and the characters themselves. Especially Chloe. Maybe it was because of what I just said above or maybe it was how the story itself was written, but I just did NOT connect. I failed to understand the so called connection between Chloe and the two men that came into her life. This supposed intense depth did not translate for me. The story spanned over 6+ years…jumping weeks, months and years at a time. (We had to build two separate love stories and then the triangle after all) All of it was too quick for my liking. The rapid pace and time jumping, furthermore made it nearly impossible to connect with the characters. Because of the short amount of time spent building up the relationships, I felt that this story was driven mainly by lust and lacked depth and substance. Even now, after finishing, I am still wondering WHY exactly these people loved each other beyond the PHYSICAL. Yes, their passion, their need was raw and instant and HOT in their time together, but that’s all I got. I did not get the depth I needed to truly connect with these couples to understand their motives behind their decisions. The rushed time table of this story didn’t allow for Marni to delve deeper into their connections and because of that, their relationships didn’t burrow themselves into my heart and make me understand WHY I should be pulled in two different directions, towards two different men. Instead, I was left frustrated by the heroines actions because I did NOT see nor understand her reasoning. She just seemed selfish IMO. The whole thing just seemed like a classic, “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” situation. Why else would someone sabotage a relationship seemingly perfect??? Fertilize your own grass and there won’t be a reason to wonder, what if!!!
“For the rest of my life, you’ll be my Queen.” <<<< SEE! Perfection *swoon* In the end of it all, I was left feeling SO MANY things. SOOOO MANY THINGS.... I literally could not sleep after I finished. I tossed and turned. Not able to shut my mind off. Because THAT ending, not a happy one. Not to me. So I can give Marni kudos for mixing me up emotionally and mentally so thoroughly that I lost sleep. She tested MY moral compass for sure, but I am steadfast in my opinions of this story. And I can also give her credit for taking on a story like this. A story about a first love that was always there, lingering in the recesses of the heart. One that could NEVER be forgotten, even if a new love comes along overshadowing it. A love...that never ended. A love that tests time and morals and everything in between. My biggest question when I finished was, "What exactly was the point of this story? What was the deeper meaning?" Was it, "you never forget your first love?" Was it, "you can have your cake and eat it too?" or was it something else entirely. Because in the end, I felt the heroine did not get her just desserts IMO. No consequences. No reaping. Nada. And for that, I am lost on what was gained or learned from this WHOLE story. Other than the fact that one man was left in behind...hurt and alone... "You never wear that color." I shrugged, feeling the tight, strapless dress pull at my chest. "I always worry it'll clash with my hair, and that alone makes enough of a statement." "And tonight?" I smiled even though it was almost impossible to breathe. "I'm feeling a little dangerous." I can see that now, Chloe, you were indeed feeling dangerous and you lived it. 2 stars
Nothing saddens me more when I just can’t connect with a book from an author I love. But with Even If It Hurts, I was taken aback by how much I didn’t like the heroine, and how her actions were beyond childish and selfish. I honestly found nothing redeeming about Chloe and the way she handled her life.
This woman is a huge fan of falling hard, losing her heart, not once but twice almost instantaneously. I was scratching my head at how easily she fell and how both men in her life were just as smitten.
I never felt any true connection between Chloe and the loves of her life but perhaps that was partly because of my dislike of her preventing me from really grasping her feelings. Oliver was a charming player who took over and over again imo and Lance as the ultimate good guy continued to get a raw deal despite Chloe’s ultimate choices.
The bright spots were Molly as Chloe’s long-suffering bestie and Jake as one of Oliver’s mates. They, at least, provided some realness when everything was moving too quickly and I was left wondering just why the heroine had her men devoted to her when didn’t deserve either one of them. NOT to mention Chloe suffered ZERO repercussions for her actions. That was the last straw.
I’m hopeful the author’s next book will be better for me but for now I’ll just chalk this one up to simply being a miss.
And even if it hurts, I can only give this book 2 stars.
Oh My Gawd!!!!! This book took my breath away!! Such a profound emotional story! So many thought provoking questions! Torn between two lovers, heartbreaking moments, and difficult decisions made for a phenomenal book!! I was so engrossed and worried about the out come , but the direction the story took truly warmed my heart!!! Such a difficult decision made for some heart palpitating moments!! Epic read!!!
This is a hard book to rate for me. Although I’m struggling with some things that happened in the book, I still consider it well written.
”Even If it hurts” starts of in London where Chloe meets Oliver for the first time. This was my least favourite part of the book. I didn’t like Oliver that much and had difficulty understanding their relationship. That been said I love every chance revisiting London, even if it’s only through the written word.
My favourite part of the book is Chloe’s relationship with Lance and their love story. I loved every minute of it and you can imagine it was hard for me when Oliver came back into the picture. He should have stayed away.
The only reason I tolerate him is that without him there probably wasn’t a book. And even though I didn’t like how some things turned out, I enjoyed reading most of it.
… and it hurt so good!
I already read many opinions about this book, but this is my own.
I absolutely loved this story! Everything Chloe went through since she’s met Oliver was beautiful and heartbreaking.
Her life with Lance made her whole and their love was real.
This a story about a woman caught up between her past and her present not knowing where to go to her future and the choices she made to get there.
There’s so much I want to say about what happened but I don’t want to spoil the story for others so I’ll stop here and invite you to pick up this book and fall in love again and again.
Marni Mann never disappoint. Her writing is flawless, her plots are unbelievable outstanding and her courage to write difficult situations hard to swallow for some readers, makes her, in my opinion, one of the best authors out there because she writes what she wants and not what sells.
I was expecting an angsty story, but this story felt more like a fairy tale. Chloe won a college student exchange position to the University of Westminster in London to study international marketing. While she was there she met Oliver, who was a totally enchanting man. Very charismatic and gorgeous, with piercing icy blue eyes, he was the perfect man to take her virginity. Egged on by her bestie Molly, she engages in a semester fling with Oliver. The only problem? She fell in love and had to leave home at the end of the semester. Neither of the two were in a financial position to continue the romance, so goodbye it is.
Fast forward two years, she meets this fantastic man, a lawyer, owner of his firm, very accomplished and successful and they fall in love and marry. She’s living an idyllic life until she gets an assignment in Amsterdam and meets Oliver again. This is six years after they had last seen each other. And yet, all the feelings she used to have in his presence come back in full force. So she loves her husband above all else but finds that she also loves this man.
The first part of the story felt a little like a fairy tale and a little shallow. It was all lovey-dovey, Chloe was like this innocent virgin out in the world, experiencing everything like it was magic and new. The mushiness of this first part felt cloying to me and I couldn’t wait for the second part to start. I wanted angst!
The beginning of the second part was a little less cloying but still a little mushy for me. I realized that I was reading about a love story in a very narrow scope. We don’t get anything about Chloe’s routine day, or her outings with her friends, social life, work life, very little if any. Just the lovey-dovey parts of the love story. That improves a little around 60% in, but then we are subjected to the infidelity. Even though she still loves her husband and lives for their time together as she travels back and forth between home and Amsterdam, her thoughts and phone chats/messages with Oliver are kept hidden from Molly and Lance. Bad Chloe!
I don’t have a hard limit on infidelity tropes, but in this case I didn’t like it because I didn’t feel that Chloe was so torn and ravaged by the guilt. I felt that she didn’t have the moral compass to make an intelligent decision over her situation. I didn’t see her agonizing, rather I saw her exchanging phone calls and text messages with the one not present, like keeping the fires hot on the other side. Needless to say, Chloe was not my favorite character and I didn’t feel a great liking to Oliver either. I just didn’t see strong morals or integrity in both, rather weakness, like they were victims to passion. Oliver didn’t seem to have any misgivings about courting a married woman and trying to break her marriage. This is very shady behavior, so it made me see Oliver as shady.
The characters I did like were Molly and Lance. Molly was wise and understanding, and gave Chloe hard love when needed. Lance was giving and adapted his life to please Chloe; he would give her the world if he could. I hurt for him when I read about Chloe with Oliver.
The second part was more like the writing style I’m accustomed from the writer and I loved the epilogue. It did make me like Oliver a lot more than during the body of the story. I would like to comment that Marni Mann is very brave, writing a story that she knows could be a hard limit to some readers. I love when an author writes something that comes from her heart, that she needs to write, even if she could face criticism. Just for this, I admire her a heck of a lot.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Marni Mann can write her butt off!!! Whatever you’re in the mood for, she’s going to give it to you and she’s going to make you feel every last word as if it’s been imprinted on you.
Chloe has had the privilege of falling in love with two men at different stages in her life. One became a first love that showed her what it’s like to have passion and to be worshipped in a little amount of time, and the other love showed her the world and what it’s like to be treated like a Queen. Two loves, two different lifetimes, one unforgettable reunion and a moment that can shatter a marriage.
Even It Hurts will bring out the love, frustration and even the anxiety in anyone that reads this book. It was beautiful at times while skirting on the danger of being unforgivable because of the characters. This book is not everyone and depending on my state of mind, I myself avoid these types of books sometimes because I know that one or another, heartbreak is surely around the corner.
I won’t even lie to you and tell you that I loved this story from beginning to the end because I didn’t. I hated some of these characters decisions and that made me dangerously frustrated at times. But you know what I did feel ? I felt the love and the pain. I felt the indescribable loss of something more while mourning a past for a few moments. I felt the hope for new beginnings and I appreciated the journey that this author took in bringing these characters to life. It was not easy at times but I can happily say that if I had to read this all over again, I would. This is what a great writer does and Marni Mann is no different.
*Arc received for an honest review
Very emotional story but (spoiler) there is cheating if that is a hard limit.
With every book I read from Marni Mann I fall in love with her writing more and more each time.
I can’t tell you which one is my favorite book from her anymore because all the ones that I have read have been my favorites. I can only say that they all hold a special place in my heart because they all have left a hole in it from the angst and devastation these books leave me.
I always end up in a book hangover and then it takes me a while to be able to get back on track and get into a book again.
Marni Mann is my unicorn author for sure!
I won’t divulge anything and give anything away because then what would be the point!
But if you love reading love triangles then you definitely need to read this one. I usually do have a favorite when I read these tangled love affairs but this one was super hard for me because both guys were good guys and neither one deserved to be left heartbroken but in Chloe’s case she was only able to choose one. Either she chose the one in the United States, which that’s where she was from or pick the guy from the U.K., which she was there temporarily. But both guys had good intentions and thought the world of Chloe and having both men practically falling at your feet makes it that much more harder.
I was so hooked on this story that I actually put my work aside so I can continue reading and only had interruptions when I had to drive home and continue reading this amazing book until I reached the end. Once I reached the end I was so sad because I wanted this book to keep going. It wasn’t long enough for me 🙁
I can only tell you that my heart literally broke for all three of them. I was so torn up that it took me a day to recuperate.
Marni Mann has a special way of writing her stories that they all hold a special place in my heart.
My first 10 star read of 2020!