Even If It Hurts

REVIEW: 5 Heartbreaking Stars
“I should have known, kissing you once would never be enough.”

*~* SPOILER FREE REVIEW *~*

There are only a handful of books that I’ve been able to open up and feel an immediate emotional connection to within the first two paragraphs. Any author that can emote a story so heavily with just their words is an author that’s going to give me a story I want to explore deeper. A couple I know I need to meet. A love I desperately need to experience. That’s exactly what I got with Even if it Hurts by Marni Mann. Immediately upon jumping in, her words painted a picture as an amazing love emerged. Absolutely breathtaking.

But also heartbreaking.

You know those books we all feel so lucky to fall into? The ones that tell a story that catches our breath and moves our hearts? Well, it was my turn. I fell and I fell hard. The love in this book was one that spanned years, surpassed logic, and defied common sense of the heart and mind. But that can’t and won’t negate the intensity of the topic at hand, nor will it go down easily with others.

I realize that many people are going to struggle with this one, and rightfully so – it’s not an easy subject to accept, but I also know it’s not my story to judge. It’s my chance to live and feel emotions that were so extraordinarily told within a heart that was tangled up between two men, and I very definitely did. I liked that it wasn’t black and white. I liked that it wasn’t easily spelled out. I loved that it was honest emotions fighting moral responsibility. That internal battle that pulled at my heartstrings and lead me through a very emotional and passionate story wasn’t told with ease, but with a pain that radiated throughout the pages. This one hurt my heart. I felt the turmoil. I had tears in my eyes at one point. It wasn’t an easy journey, but it was an impactful one.

I got completely caught up watching Chloe discover not only a new world, but discovering love in it’s purest form as well. Unhindered and without borders, love can make your eyes dance and your heart skip a beat. That’s exactly how I felt as I watched Chloe fall in love for the first time. When her circumstances changed, which added a new dynamic to her story, that allowed me to witness an emotion that I’ve never personally known as her heart struggled to gain purchase on what was right for her. That journey was what it was all about, and I feel like Mann nailed it with this story. Emotionally heavy, but superb in every way.

Having said that, this is exactly why a triangle is my favorite trope. It is heartbreaking. It is going to piss people off and cause some very lively discussion (my favorite part!!). But I love the exploration of a love that isn’t easily explained. Hearts held captive by a love that is more powerful than they are? Yes, please!! Give me a love the characters are powerless to stop any day of the week. I want that hiccup in my breath. I want that lurch in my chest. I want that drop in the pit of my stomach. It is a polarizing topic, but that’s why I enjoy it so much. There is so much to discover about this type of love….what pushes someone to their emotional wits’ end? Why does the heart fight logic? I love that Marni Mann explored this issue with the depth that she did.

Her characters were relatable and I connected easily with them individually; all showing a growth and a depth that made them equally perfect in their own right.

Oliver – fun, loving, sweet, charming, caring, the most perfect smile to give an air of comfort. He had me smiling so much, but he also had me melting in my seat as I watched him strip down his emotions and bare himself with an intensity that would easily keep me planted. He had my heart the minute he smiled and whispered in her ear from behind, giving me all the goosebumps and giggles.

Lance – alpha, mysterious, deep, impatient, strong. He knew what he wanted and had no problems going after it, no matter the consequences. He also had everything at his fingertips and spared no expense in spoiling Chloe, which allowed for a very fast and carefree relationship without a worry in the world. It lent an air of freedom from the heaviness she was dealing with. An undeniable security in a love that was strong.

Chloe – determined, smart, beautiful, detailed. Living this book through her vantage point allowed me an insight into her thinking and her heart, so when I saw her struggle – I struggled too. I read this entire book like I was put in her heart and her mind…. so I felt that same pain. I was conflicted like she was. I was living in her world, spectator or not, but I know I felt every facet of this book.

It was all about getting into these characters’ heads, their emotions, and feeling that anxiety that came with decisions that needed to be made and I will admit, they were not easy decisions. I feel like this story was emotionally driven and that never let up. I felt and understood the pull as well as the anger for the actions taken. It was written so well and I felt every single thing. It’s these types of reads that make me scream from the rooftops because the discussion that follows is one that is so impassioned and intense. I’m not here to excuse actions. I’m here to understand emotions. I’m here to feel the decisions and the repercussions.

It was romantic and exciting.
It was amazing but heartbreaking.
It was sensual and hot.
It was brutal but genuine.
It was sexy and tantalizing.
It was realistic but devastating.
It was perfection.

Beautiful(ly) torture(some). I love when a book moves me like this and makes me feel as much as I did. This was nothing short of amazing for me and is sitting as a Top Favorite for 2020 already. This will be recommended often as a Must Read. Marni Mann is fast becoming one of my go-to authors for truthful, emotionally charged, life changing stories. I don’t think this story will ever leave me…

“I don’t like missing you, Chloe.”
~BEE

5* Aching Heart Stars

I am a great fan of Marni Mann and the stories she tells. Her covers are the first thing that draws you to what is hidden beneath, they are always stunningly beautiful.

The story of Chloe, Oliver and Lance will pull at your heartstrings and tear you apart slowly. It is about falling deeply in love with your first love and all the firsts you created together. It is about finding love a second time round and being so happy and content only for it to be fractured when the past comes back to haunt you.

You will be gripped from the first page until the end when you will suddenly realise that you have been holding your breath waiting to see what will happen, who will Chloe choose? You will be transported back to memories of your first love and the risks involved with making decisions based on your heart. I was so invested in these characters and felt for each of them.

This was a beautifully written story filled with intense and emotional feelings for all the characters in the story.

4.5 Breathtaking Stars!
This story was so beautifully written, it captured my heart right from the very beginning and never let go until it had wrung every last emotion out of me. It is told almost entirely from Chloe’s pov and it worked so perfectly here because you truly felt all of her hope, love, passion, and confusion. Chloe’s first love is Oliver, a charming, sweet and loving Brit during her study abroad in London. I fell for both Oliver and Chloe as they fell deeply in love. It was so pure, and sweet and passionate and I wanted them to be together forever too. But Chloe had to return home to Boston and unfortunately time and distance was too much to sustain their relationship. Eventually Chloe meets Lance. He is all alpha, commanding, and thoughtful. He loved taking care and spoiling Chloe, but letting her succeed on her own as well. They soon fall madly in love and get married. I once again fell for Lance and Chloe and wanted them to have a forever, romantic, epic life together. But what happens when Chloe meets Oliver again? When she is reminded of why she loved him so fervently? When she knows her love for her husband is just as fervent? Mann did a beautiful job making me understand the depth of the emotions and love these characters felt. My opinion and sympathies ebb and flowed and I didn’t necessarily agree with their decisions and actions, but life is messy, and never perfect, allowing us to find beauty in those imperfections. I was not sure I would like this forbidden romance, but no matter how many times I wanted to stop I just couldn’t put it down, which is a testament to the authors artistry. Narrator Ava Erickson, with a cameo from Shane East were absolutely amazing at bringing this emotional story to life. Erickson brings out the complex emotions that Chloe struggles with, and her nuances and delivery is sublime, I was completely lost in the realism of her storytelling.

An emotional, angsty read about a woman torn between two men.

That cover is gorgeous!! Live tomorrow.

A tear-jerker, love triangle from the wonderful Marni Mann! Not to be missed.

OLIVER
When I met her, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
We were so young and so passionate.
We studied business in the day and each other’s bodies at night.
We always knew it would end with the semester, so we loved hard with no regrets.

LANCE
When I met her, I couldn’t get her off my mind.
We were fresh out of college and ready to take on the world.
We fit each other like missing puzzle pieces.
And just when I thought my life was perfect, it got better. She became my wife.

CHLOE
I met my first love while studying abroad in London.
When I moved home, I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love again.
Until I met him. The man who became my husband.
The one I promised a lifetime to.

Then, my first love came back into my life …
And I realized that love was bigger than any one man.

This was the first Marni Mann book I read it and I launched me into a love affair with her writing and her worlds. This is a love triangle with cheating, which might not be for everyone, but it was for me. Sensuous and illuminating, I will definitely be rereading this soon.

BLINDSIDED

First love, Lost love.
New love.
Lost love, Found…?

Each PART caused a totally different set of emotions.
This rollercoaster ride of upheaval had me in complete chaos.
My emotional mental state was pushed to it’s limits on Part 3, and by the end of the book, I was drained of all my anguish.
My hard limit was tested, but Marni Mann can suck you into a vortex of emotions that you just can’t fathom getting out of till the end.
This is the most agonizing read of hers to date.
A must read in 2020!!!
Reviewed: Jan. 16, 2020

This was very sexy and a little sad. This book had a lot of sex scenes which for one I was not expecting (not complaining tho lol).

A MAJOR THING I DID NOT LIKE was the fact that the way this character went about cheating in this book did not sit well with me. This character DID NOT tell her husband she cheated on him, but instead want to continue to do so and then after the fact still did not tell him what happened. -_- I’m sorry, but I believe in being honest with your partner even when you have fucked up. You not suppose to hide anything from them. So that definitely lost a star for me.

Other than that… this book had the potential to be a five star read it just left me wanting more out of the story so I know that this standalone did not do justice (not saying that is a bad thing at all).

I would most definitely recommend this book to anybody who wants a really good romance that deals with more than just sex, friendship, relationship, first love, etc. Its a very sweet romance with a mix of smut. (Just the way I like! lol)

This is a love triangle like I’ve never read before. Though all may not agree with the content, it is very well written. I really enjoyed reading it and I look forward to what Marni Mann has in store next.