Don Quixote

a thousand trifles have to be recounted, as irrelevant as they are necessary, for the true understanding of a tale.

Chapter I : Regarding what befell the narrator on visiting a theatre

The comic operetta Don Quixote was being performed at my local theatre and I was amongst the audience at the first performance. It was a lively and entertaining re-enactment featuring the knight errant Don Quixote and his erring squire Sancho Panza, and many of their adventures were recounted. As I sat in the theatre watching the performance I found myself more and more drawn towards the happenings on the stage. I continually shifted in my seat, and half-rose from it many times. I kept wanting to intervene, to give Don Quixote a fine new coat of armour, for example, and to exchange the old shaving bowl he wore on his head for the real Helmet of Mambrino which, as an avid reader with a large library, I knew exactly where to find.
I wanted to give his horse Rocinante a good feed so that he would have some flesh on his poor bones (though I also knew that his and his master’s bony condition had saved them already from being eaten by a hungry lion).
I wanted to give Sancho Panza an even larger role in the story, with longer speeches, more proverbs, and greater opportunity to influence events.
I wanted to go backstage and meet with the producer – and perhaps get a glimpse of the man who wrote the libretto.
But most of all I wanted Don Quixote to finally meet the Lady Dulcinea.

Chapter II : In which the diverting adventure of a puppet master is recounted, along with other things that are really worthwhile.

The operetta had reached the scene where Don Quixote is sitting in an inn along with other customers watching a traveling puppeteer’s production of the tale of a beautiful princess held captive in a castle. In the course of the puppet show, the puppet princess escapes from the castle and is pursued by her captors. Before anyone realised what he intended, Don Quixote sprang from his seat intent on rescuing the princess. He swung his sword at the hoard of cardboard figures, reducing them, and the entire puppet theatre to smithereens within minutes. Pandemonium ensued.

Don Quixote’s reckless actions were just the example I needed. Though it wasn’t easy to move fast in my long opera gown, I ran towards the steps at the side of the stage, heedless of the whisperings and murmurings of the people I’d disturbed on the way. Before anyone knew what I intended, I had joined the actors on the stage where the puppet master was loudly bewailing the destruction of his puppet theatre. Don Quixote was dreamily contemplating the havoc he had created when he glanced up and noticed me standing near him. The Knight of the Sorrowful Face never looked so happy.
“The Lady Dulcinea at last, freed from her enchantment,” he said, dropping to one knee and covering my hands with kisses.
Everyone was stupefied.
“If that’s the Lady Dulcurea”, muttered Sancho Panza, looking me up and down, “I’ll eat my packsaddle!”
“Curb your tongue, you jester and longtime nuisance,” responded Don Quixote, “does it seem right to dishonour and insult a duenna as venerable and worthy of respect as she? Consider and reflect on your words before they leave your mouth.”
I wasn’t terribly pleased to be described as a ‘duenna’ but I didn’t have time to debate the point because at that moment, the producer emerged from the wings and began to propel me from the stage.
“The Lady Dulcinea will appear at the proper time, dear Don Quixote,” he whispered consolingly, “and those words you’ve just uttered about the duenna belong in a later scene. This is the scene with the puppet theatre in the inn. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
Then he signalled to the puppet master to carry on with his speech and pushed me into the wings – though I struggled a bit. I’d quite enjoyed being addressed as the Lady Dulcinea, duenna or no duenna.

Chapter III : Which continues the tale of The Reader who was Recklessly Meddlesome

“What do you think you’re doing interfering in my production in such a ridiculous fashion?” the producer hissed into my ear, pushing me down a corridor and closing the door to the stage.
“It’s all so entrancing I just couldn’t stay in my seat,” I insisted excitedly, “and I want to help Don Quixote, and Sancho Panza too, I want to arrange things better for them.”
“What would you do for Sancho Panza?” he asked, standing with his back to the stage door and stroking his pointed beard thoughtfully.
“I’d give him a lot more speeches,” I said eagerly, seeing that he’d calmed down a bit. “Speeches that would show him to be cleverer than he appears at the moment because I’m certain he is really very clever.”
“And what would you do for Don Quixote?”
“I would give him success in a tournament, and I’d like to think he might sometime meet the Lady Dulcinea, even if only briefly.”
He didn’t answer immediately, just continued to stroke his beard thoughtfully. It seemed that he might be considering my request.
“Can I examine your spectacles,” he asked suddenly, holding out his hand.
I was so surprised that I handed over my glasses immediately.
“Tortoiseshell, I see,” he said, tapping the frames with his index finger, “I’ve only ever seen it used for peinetas. Can I borrow these spectacles?”
“Absolutely not,” I cried, “I can’t see a thing without them and I’ll miss the rest of the play—I’m missing enough as it is.”
“Hmm, if you won’t lend the spectacles, perhaps you’d lend your person?” he said with the trace of a smile. “After the interval there’s a short scene involving a duenna called Doña Rodríguez who wears spectacles, and since you want so much to be involved, you could take her place. She only appears once, and only has a couple of lines to deliver. But you must remove that ring,” he said, pointing to a ring I wore on my left hand.
I was thrilled to be given a chance to take part and agreed immediately, especially when the director said he might tweak some of the later scenes to allow Sancho Panzo to have a greater role, just as I had requested. He went off to consult with Cide Hamete, the librettist, while a costume person brought me a long and elaborate headdress to wear, complete with a peineta. The whole thing resembled a nun’s veil. I donned it unwillingly. What can’t be cured must be endured, after all, and the habit does not make the nun.

Chapter IV : Which deals wth matters related to this history and no other

Immediately after the interval comes the scene where Don Quixote and Sancho Panza are being welcomed to the castle of a wealthy duke. All the duennas in the service of the duchess stand in line to greet them. This was my big scene. Each duenna is supposed to be accompanied by a daughter so I also had a daughter whose job was to hold the end of my long headdress. As I stood with all the others, the two heroes passed so close to me I could have reached out and touched their sleeves. Just as they were about to enter the castle, Sancho stopped as if he’d forgotten something, and then he turned to me and said,
“Señora Gonzalez, or whatever your grace’s name may be..”
“Doña Rodriguez de Grijalba is my name,” I responded, settling into my role, “How can I help you, brother?”
I was ready to oblige him in whatever way I could until I heard what he wanted. I was to go outside the castle gate and find his donkey and take him to the stable because the donkey apparently didn’t like to be left alone under any circumstances. I didn’t think this was at all the kind of duty a duenna was supposed to undertake, and so I told Sancho—in a slightly raised voice. Then we traded a few insults in which the word ‘old’ was mentioned. The duchess and Don Quixote overheard and the Don castigated Sancho severely. “Curb your tongue, you jester and longtime nuisance. Does it seem right to dishonour and insult a duenna as venerable and worthy of respect as she? Consider and reflect on your words before they leave your mouth.”
Then the duchess explained that although I was wearing spectacles and a wimple, I was in fact still quite young. I was mollified and Sancho went on his way, muttering something about the need for duennas to show more generosity towards donkeys.

Chapter V : Which recounts the second adventure of the Duenna, also called Doña Rodriguez

I watched the next few scenes from the wings. It seemed to me that the Duke and Duchess were organizing some very elaborate entertainments at the expense of the two heroes, entertainments in which a fair amount of trickery and deceit was involved. The more I watched, the less I liked it, especially when Don Quixote was clawed by a bunch of angry cats he thought were demons. He was recovering in his bed from this attack when I decided to creep into his chamber during the night and warn him about what the Duke and Duchess were up to. To get his attention, I had to pretend there was a damsel in distress who needed his help, so I told him that my daughter had been forsaken by her lover and would he please challenge the lover to a duel. That was exactly the right way to get him onside and he began to pay attention to the rest of what I had to say. I had just begun to explain about all the trickery that was going on in the castle when some figures dressed in black appeared and began to spank me unmercifully. “Ouch,” I cried, “help, help!”, but to no avail (see update status: page 772) because Don Quixote was also being attacked, and since Sancho Panza was far away, he couldn’t comfort either of us with his soothing proverbs. And so ended my unfortunate and embarrassing mid-night tête à tête with the noble knight.

Chapter VI : Regarding matters that concern and pertain to this adventure

Back stage, everybody was complaining about my foolishness and audacity in meddling in the plot and generally making a spectacle of myself. The director said he regretted letting me play the part of the duenna. I was forbidden to step on stage again, and more or less thrown out of the theatre. But I didn’t want to leave without speaking further with Don Quixote, and even with Sancho, who’d suddenly begun to deliver some of the best speeches of the entire opera, filled with juicy proverbs like pears in a wicker basket.
I reckoned I might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, and how would an omelette get made if we didn’t break a few eggs, so I hid behind a windmill prop in the wings and waited my chance. As the Don and his squire were taking leave of the Duke, I stepped onstage once again and had the most interesting of my encounters with Don Quixote and the wise squire Sancho.
When we had finished conversing, I withdrew to a seat at the back of the theatre to watch the rest of the operetta, completely satisfied that my interventions had been useful and were achieving some effect.

Postscript: Which recounts what will be seen by whoever reads it and other matters which will be understood if the reader reads with attention

So now you’ve heard the story of how Doña Rodriguez, who was only supposed to have one scene in the opera, ended up having three, and of how this crazy reader, who recklessly entered the story, brought this mischief about. If you don’t believe any of this could have happened, read Chapter LVI of Regarding the extraordinary and unprecedentedly successful battle that Don Quixote of La Mancha had with the footman Tosilos in defense of the daughter of the duenna Doña Rodriguez.
And when you’ve read that, read Chapter LXIX : Concerning the strangest and most remarkable event to befall Don Quixote in the entire course of his history which features not just one spectacle-wearing duenna but four!
My tortoiseshell glasses had started a craze.

When the performance was finally over, I left the theatre, pleased that my recklessness had lead to such a satisfying outcome, but thoughtful too about some of the things that had happened.
Why had Don Quixote addressed me as the Lady Dulcinea?
Why had the director asked me to remove my ring? I took it from my pocket and examined it. It’s an old ring, in fact it’s been in my family for a long, long time. I had picked it to wear to the theatre because it has a heraldic design, showing a gyron or triangular shape inside a coat of arms.
What all that signifies however, I cannot quite grasp for the moment, but I’m hoping some attentive reader will soon tell me.. Can I tell you a story – lone it may take a short clock time because sometimesThe amusing operetta Don Quixote was being performed at my local field and I was amongst the audience at the beginning performance. It was a lively and entertaining re-enactment featuring the knight errant Don Quixote and his erring squire Sancho Panza, and many of their adventures were recounted. As I sat in the theater watching the performance I found myself more and more pull towards the happenings on the stage. I continually shifted in my seat, and half-rose from it many times. I kept wanting to intervene, to give Don Quixote a fine raw coat of armor, for exemplar, and to exchange the previous shave bowl he wore on his head for the actual Helmet of Mambrino which, as an avid lector with a big library, I knew precisely where to find.I wanted to give his sawhorse Rocinante a good feed so that he would have some human body on his hapless bones ( though I besides knew that his and his master ’ sulfur osseous condition had saved them already from being eaten by a hungry lion ) .I wanted to give Sancho Panza an flush larger role in the history, with longer speeches, more proverbs, and greater opportunity to influence events.I wanted to go offstage and touch with the producer – and possibly get a glimpse of the man who wrote the libretto.But most of all I wanted Don Quixote to last meet the Lady Dulcinea.The operetta had reached the setting where Don Quixote is sitting in an hostel along with other customers watching a traveling puppeteer ’ south production of the narrative of a beautiful princess held captive in a castle. In the naturally of the puppet show, the creature princess escapes from the castle and is pursued by her captors. Before anyone realised what he intended, Don Quixote form from his seat purpose on rescuing the princess. He swung his sword at the hoard of cardboard figures, reducing them, and the stallion puppet dramaturgy to smithereens within minutes. Pandemonium ensued.Don Quixote ’ s foolhardy actions were just the example I needed. Though it was n’t easy to move firm in my hanker opera gown, I ran towards the steps at the side of the stage, heedless of the whisperings and murmurings of the people I ’ five hundred disturbed on the way. Before anyone knew what I intended, I had joined the actors on the phase where the puppet maestro was obstreperously bewailing the destruction of his puppet dramaturgy. Don Quixote was dreamily contemplating the havoc he had created when he glanced up and noticed me standing near him. The Knight of the Sorrowful Face never looked sol happy. “ The Lady Dulcinea at last, freed from her captivation, ” he said, dropping to one stifle and covering my hands with kisses.Everyone was stupefied. “ If that ‘s the Lady Dulcurea ”, muttered Sancho Panza, looking me up and down, “ I ’ ll feed my packsaddle ! ” I wasn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate terribly pleased to be described as a ‘ duenna ’ but I didn ’ t have clock to debate the point because at that moment, the manufacturer emerged from the wings and began to propel me from the stage. “ The Lady Dulcinea will appear at the proper time, beloved Don Quixote, ” he whispered comfortingly, “ and those words you ’ ve fair uttered about the duenna belong in a late picture. This is the scene with the creature theater in the hostel. Let ’ s not get ahead of ourselves. ” then he signalled to the puppet victor to carry on with his address and pushed me into the wings – though I struggled a piece. I ’ five hundred quite delight being addressed as the Lady Dulcinea, duenna or no duenna. “ What do you think you ‘re doing interfere in my production in such a absurd fashion ? ” the producer hissed into my ear, pushing me down a corridor and closing the doorway to the stage. “ It ‘s all so bewitching I barely could n’t stay in my seat, ” I insisted excitedly, “ and I want to help Don Quixote, and Sancho Panza excessively, I want to arrange things better for them. “ “ What would you do for Sancho Panza ? ” he asked, standing with his back to the stage door and stroking his luff beard thoughtfully. “ I ‘d give him a fortune more speeches, ” I said eagerly, seeing that he ‘d calmed down a sting. “ Speeches that would show him to be cleverer than he appears at the moment because I ‘m sealed he is very very apt. “ “ And what would you do for Don Quixote ? “ “ I would give him success in a tournament, and I ‘d like to think he might erstwhile meet the Lady Dulcinea, even if entirely briefly. “ He didn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate solution immediately, just continued to stroke his beard thoughtfully. It seemed that he might be considering my request. “ Can I examine your spectacles, ” he asked abruptly, holding out his hand.I was so surprised that I handed over my glasses immediately. “ Tortoiseshell, I see, ” he said, tapping the frames with his exponent feel, “ I ‘ve lone ever seen it used for peinetas. Can I borrow these spectacles ? ” “ Absolutely not, ” I cried, “ I can ’ metric ton see a thing without them and I ’ ll miss the rest of the play—I ’ m missing adequate as it is. ” “ Hmm, if you won ’ t lend the spectacles, possibly you ’ d lend your person ? ” he said with the trace of a smile. “ After the interval there ’ s a short setting involving a duenna called Doña Rodríguez who wears spectacles, and since you want sol much to be involved, you could take her seat. She only appears once, and only has a couple of lines to deliver. But you must remove that ring, ” he said, pointing to a band I wore on my leave hand.I was thrilled to be given a chance to take part and agreed immediately, specially when the director said he might tweak some of the late scenes to allow Sancho Panzo to have a greater character, just as I had requested. He went off to consult with Cide Hamete, the librettist, while a costume person brought me a retentive and elaborate headdress to wear, complete with a peineta. The whole thing resembled a conical buoy ‘s veil. I donned it unwillingly. What ca n’t be cured must be endured, after all, and the habit does not make the nun.Immediately after the interval comes the setting where Don Quixote and Sancho Panza are being welcomed to the castle of a affluent duke. All the duenna in the overhaul of the duchess stand in line to greet them. This was my big scene. Each duenna is supposed to be accompanied by a daughter thus I besides had a daughter whose subcontract was to hold the end of my farseeing headdress. As I stood with all the others, the two heroes passed indeed close to me I could have reached out and touched their sleeves. just as they were about to enter the castle, Sancho stopped as if he ‘d forgotten something, and then he turned to me and said, I responded, settling into my character, I was ready to oblige him in whatever way I could until I heard what he wanted. I was to go outside the castle gate and find his domestic ass and take him to the stable because the domestic ass apparently did n’t like to be left alone under any circumstances. I did n’t think this was at all the kind of duty a duenna was supposed to undertake, and therefore I told Sancho—in a slenderly raised voice. then we traded a few insults in which the word ‘old ‘ was mentioned. The duchess and Don Quixote catch and the Don castigated Sancho severely.Then the duchess explained that although I was wearing spectacles and a wimple, I was in fact hush quite young. I was mollified and Sancho went on his direction, muttering something about the necessitate for duennas to show more generosity towards donkeys.I watched the future few scenes from the wings. It seemed to me that the Duke and Duchess were organizing some very elaborate entertainments at the expense of the two heroes, entertainments in which a fair sum of trickery and fraudulence was involved. The more I watched, the less I liked it, particularly when Don Quixote was clawed by a crowd of angry cats he thought were demons. He was recovering in his seam from this attack when I decided to creep into his chamber during the night and warn him about what the Duke and Duchess were up to. To get his attention, I had to pretend there was a damsel in distress who needed his help, so I told him that my daughter had been forsaken by her fan and would he please challenge the lover to a duel. That was precisely the right way to get him onside and he began to pay attention to the rest of what I had to say. I had merely begun to explain about all the trickery that was going on in the castle when some figures dressed in black appeared and began to spank me mercilessly. “ Ouch, ” I cried, “ help, help ! “, but to no avail ( see update condition : page 772 ) because Don Quixote was besides being attacked, and since Sancho Panza was army for the liberation of rwanda away, he could n’t comfort either of us with his soothing proverbs. And sol end my unfortunate and embarrassing mid-night tête à tête with the baronial knight.Back stage, everybody was complaining about myin meddling in the plot and broadly making a spectacle of myself. The film director said he regretted letting me play the separate of the duenna. I was forbidden to step on stage again, and more or less thrown out of the dramaturgy. But I did n’t want to leave without speaking foster with Don Quixote, and even with Sancho, who ‘d abruptly begun to deliver some of the best speeches of the integral opera, filled with blue proverbsI reckoned I might arsenic well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, and how would an omelet arrive made if we didn ’ metric ton break a few eggs, so I hid behind a windmill prop in the wings and waited my opportunity. As the Don and his squire were taking leave of the Duke, I stepped onstage once again and had the most concern of my encounters with Don Quixote and the wise squire Sancho.When we had finished converse, I withdrew to a seat at the back of the dramaturgy to watch the stay of the operetta, completely satisfied that my interventions had been utilitarian and were achieving some effect.So now you ‘ve heard the floor of how Doña Rodriguez, who was only supposed to have one scene in the opera, ended up having three, and of how this crazy reader, who recklessly entered the history, brought this mischief about. If you do n’t believe any of this could have happened, read Chapter LVI of Don Quixote And when you ’ ve take that, read Chapter LXIX : which features not barely one spectacle-wearing duenna but four ! My tortoiseshell glasses had started a craze.When the performance was finally over, I left the theater, pleased that my recklessness had lead to such a satisfy consequence, but thoughtful excessively about some of the things that had happened.Why had Don Quixote addressed me as the Lady Dulcinea ? Why had the director asked me to remove my ring ? I took it from my pouch and examined it. It ‘s an old ring, in fact it ‘s been in my family for a retentive, long time. I had picked it to wear to the dramaturgy because it has a heraldic design, showing a gyron or triangular shape inside a coat of arms.What all that signifies however, I can not quite appreciation for the here and now, but I ’ thousand hoping some attentive reader will soon tell me..